Psychology tells you why you know how to cherish after losing it.

　? Once there was a sincere feeling in front of me, but I didn't cherish it until I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. If God can give me another chance, I will say three words to that girl: I love you. If I have to add a deadline to this love, I hope so? Ten thousand years. ?

The classic lines of Supreme Treasure make people cry, and tell how many people are heartbroken. We will also have such a situation, get along with the other half flatly, sometimes ignore or even hate each other's existence, but suddenly understand each other's good when breaking up and feel the pain of separation. We will sigh that some people have some things until they lose them, and sometimes they learn to cherish them until they lose them.

First, it is related to the cognition of relationship

In the process of getting along with people, people often unconsciously label and classify objects, such as? Someone close? 、? Outsiders? Wait. We will behave differently in the face of different types of people. The closer we are, the more we will include them? Self? Medium. It is often said that we are always polite to outsiders, but we often lose our temper with those closest to us. This is because people hold the idea that you are already? Myself? Well, how can anyone care about their emotions? Subconsciously, Me? I won't scold myself or hurt myself. Be included? Self? The person at the level exists forever, and will never abandon and leave himself. The existence of TA is as natural as breathing. Unfortunately, the reverse side of the coin is: I will ignore TA like air and I don't know how to cherish it. And if you want to break up, then the lover will be from? Self? The category of moving to? An outsider who has nothing to do with himself? In the category, the transformation of this role itself will attract people's attention. It's like cutting a part of yourself alive, which will cause discomfort to anyone, unless TA has not entered his heart.

Second, loss aversion

This also stems from people's loss aversion. Scientists once conducted an interesting experiment: give half the students in a class in a university an ordinary coffee cup, and then ask them to sell their cups to the remaining half of the students who didn't get them. Before the sale, the researchers asked all the students how much they would like to buy/sell this cup. According to common sense, the value of cups will not change, and the prices of buyers and sellers should be close. But it turns out that the owner of the cup can accept the selling price twice as much as the students who want to buy it. Research on gambling also found that when the amount won is about twice or more than the amount lost, people are willing to participate. It seems that winning twice or more happiness can offset the pain of losing money. From these experiments, we can find that people actually don't have a fixed understanding of the value of an item. When people have to give it up, their sadness is higher than their happiness in getting it. This is called in behavioral economics? Loss aversion? That is, the negative utility brought by the loss of the same amount is twice the positive utility of the benefit of the same amount. It's no wonder that when we are about to lose something or someone, the psychological pain is far greater than the loss of happiness, and the happiness we have is deeply submerged in the pain of loss, so we realize that we can't lose TA, which is so important to us, because it brings us happiness and makes us suffer from the departure of TA, so we began to try our best to leave TA and cherish it.

what you get is not as good as a starry night.

Third, the principle of shortage

Please compare two kinds of advertising language:? Quitting smoking can add five years to your life? ，? Smoking will kill five years? Which will be more effective?

it seems that the latter has a stronger impact on us. And we often see similar slogans in our lives? Last three days? 、? After this village, there is no such store? 、? Out of print? 、? Limited edition? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait These are the principles of shortage.

The shortage principle holds that, in a sense, it is abhorrent for us to lose the freedom we have gained. Whenever people's free choice is restricted or threatened, the desire to maintain this freedom will make us demand this freedom (and related goods and services) more strongly. It should be noted that the key to the application of the shortage principle is that the object is not always in shortage, but is changed from sufficiency to shortage. And this shortage often brings competition, which also deepens the desire to get TA. People are happy to be caught again and again by the means that have been tried and tested in business. On the other hand, there is no shortage of love relationships. When people realize that they can't have it soon, they will feel anxious and strongly want to maintain the status quo and the freedom they have. And leaving often means that the other person's heart belongs to someone else. It's really hard to imagine that TA is intimate with someone who is not me. Then, we will realize each other's existence and begin to try to repair this relationship.

Duan said on her deathbed? Ten thousand years is too long, and I can't wait for that day.

Ten years later, Master Xing's obsession turned into a "Demon Journey to the West", and through Miss Duan's mouth, she only expressed her own feelings: ten thousand years is too long, so seize the day. Yes, don't slack off your care for each other because you think love is eternal, don't let loss be the first and last warning, and don't ignore every day when you know each other.

ten thousand years, too long, just love me now.

how many lovers are there in your heart?

1. A long time ago, there was a prince and a flower girl in the story. You want to be

A. Prince (turn 2)

B. Flower girl (turn 6)

2. Dear prince, there was a riot in your country. Which of the following would you choose to marry?

A. Holding the daughter of the minister of military power (turn 4)

B. The flower girl who loves you deeply (turn 3)

3. The minister mutinied with his soldiers, which made you abdicate and killed the flower girl. The daughter of the minister came to rescue you. Are you willing to believe her?

a.yes (turn 4)

b.no (turn 5)

4. The minister's daughter asked you to take a medicine, which can fake your death and avoid the immediate disaster. You will

A. Refuse (turn 5)

B. Accept (turn 8)

5. You will

A. Accept her death (turn 7)

B. Let her live (turn 8)

6. You fell in love with a prince, but the prince fell in love with the minister's daughter, so

A. You became their matchmaker (turn 4)

B. You left (turn 7) <

a.no (turn 1)

b.yes (turn 9)

8. The minister's daughter found you and said that she could only stay with you and serve you as your concubine. You would

a. accept (turn 1)

b. refuse (turn 9)

9.

A. Don't (turn 11)

B. Want (turn 1)

1. Terrible things have happened. Many years later, your newborn child has the same face as a minister's daughter. Will you kill your child?

a.yes (turn 11)

b.no (turn 14)

11. The person who loves you will get old with the passage of years, but you have an amazing body. Would you choose?

A. Wandering in the world (turn 14)

B. Living in seclusion in the mountains (turn 12)

12. One day, you met a talking cow and he asked if you found a compass. That's because he lost it. Do you have such a compass on you?

a.yes (turn 13)

b.no (turn 14)

13. judging from your thinking expression, the god cow snatched the compass and laughed. He dialed the compass back and asked you to choose again. In that year, at the beginning, you would be reborn as a flower girl (turn 14).

A. The tea is cold. I'll go and renew it for you (turn to A)

B. You are a bad meat who loves money (turn to B)

15. You fall in love with a prince, but the prince loves to sell flower girls. Your father holds the military power. My father asks you if it is necessary to win the prince. You say

A. Ning. He is not qualified to love me. (turn D)

Test results:

A. No lover

When you stop loving someone, his memory is completely shattered by you. You can be so determined because your lack of love is not a temporary impulse, but a summary of things. Maybe sometimes, you will remember the occasional warmth, but the firm reason in your heart can keep you from looking back because of nostalgia. Therefore, the person who is involved in a relationship with you is the happiest person in the world, because your wisdom can make you fully involved when you start each relationship, and there is no one else in your heart.

B, two lovers

There are two lovers in your heart who are passionate. These two lovers are your two mirrors, reminding you how to treat others and how to be self-disciplined. These two kinds of love, one is the love of parents and the other is the love of children. The lover your parents love always tolerates you, comforts your broken heart, and you can also play coquetry with him. No matter how old you are, you can play tricks like a child, make mischief and bully each other. In this rogue and ruffian state, you feel the tolerance and care of the other party for loving you. When you are hurt, you see the tears in the other person's eyes, so you have unlimited satisfaction. It seems that the pain on your body is not so important, but later, you deeply blame yourself. You know that your willfulness has hurt his heart, and he left you from now on. Another kind of lover, he is like your child, like the person you want to be but can't be. You pursue him, please him, and want to bring the most expensive and rare things in the world to him. Your soul suddenly changes from being loose and free to being responsible and thoughtful. You can't help but pay for this lover, and the little reward from this lover makes you ecstatic and engraved in your heart, but finally one day, you feel tired and tired. And take this as a mirror, and never give it foolishly and wholeheartedly again.

C. A lover

Because you are a person who has requirements for life, once you meet a partner who best meets your ideal pursuit, this lover will become a lover role model in your heart. From then on, all the lovers you meet are compared with him consciously or unconsciously. Compare whether the current lover is good to you, and compare whether the current lover is strong? Even when you are lovelorn, you habitually erase this unsuccessful love, muttering to yourself: You'd better. I only loved you all the time. So this lover has become an immortal love in your heart, and it is also the only one that has been officially and exclusively recognized by you.

D, many lovers

You are a man with a story. Others can't imagine how life has ruthlessly ravaged you and made you encounter those cruel and cold-blooded love. Therefore, when people from various religions ask you for advice on various love issues, these love issues, such as feather fans and black silk scarves, will vanish in front of you. Perhaps, in the eyes of others, you are a master, but only you know in your heart that your opinions are not familiar. However, because of too much experience, although you know what feelings are, you are only crazy and have no courage. When you face the person you really like, maybe you are just separated from him by a curtain. In a flash, you are discouraged because of the shy and unspeakable confession in your heart. Before you start a relationship, you run away. Too many lessons from the past, so that you can weave all kinds of endings and fragments with him out of thin air, too many lessons from the past, but also let you constantly count human weaknesses. Suggestion: Tell each other about your situation and your weakness and worries. If he suits you, he will give you a hand! All you need is to be gently pulled. But first, you have to tell each other your fears. Want to communicate wow!