It’s not enough to translate the sentence at the Zhejiang University Anniversary Translation Workshop. Let’s see how I can write it into a slogan for foreigners.

I recently saw an outdated news. A month ago, the 120th anniversary of Zhejiang University went viral because the translation of the slogan was too weird. Afterwards, Zhejiang University and the outsourcing translation company were criticized a lot. In fact, there are many funny translations from English to Chinese abroad, so when there is a problem in Chinese-to-English translation in China, there is no need for people to react so loudly. But seeing everyone complaining so happily, I came to join in the fun.

Original text of slogan: (35 words)

Original translation: (27 words)

My version: (18 words)

I have always only liked free translation, because I feel that translation is not just about changing a sentence from one language to another. It must also correspond to different occasions and customary expressions in the target language area, in order to truly achieve the best result. good. For example, if your throat feels like smoke when it's 40 degrees in the summer, it's best to eat watermelon, drink cold water and soak in the swimming pool. Who would have known that if you meet a girl with a cold constitution and have an aunt here, even if those things are used to relieve the heat, eating, drinking, soaking them are not suitable, right? Therefore, translation must first clarify the nature of the occasion and the sentence before it can start properly.

As shown above, this sentence appeared on the background board of Zhejiang University’s anniversary party. In other words, what we translate should refer to the banners and slogans used for celebrations in English-speaking countries.

Next, I will explain my translation ideas by breaking down the key words of the original sentence. Based on the three principles summarized by referring to the slogans of English-speaking countries, it is easy to translate the original Chinese slogan into a natural sentence. English slogan.

If after reading the original slogan, the original translation and my version, you feel that the bilingual subtitles I placed on the first picture at the beginning of the article are not good enough, there is no need to read further. (Sorry for not being able to use grammar for detailed analysis.)

There are many complaints about the translation of the original text on the Internet, and the Chinese slogan itself also has grammatical defects. I don't have enough analytical skills, so I won't repeat it here.

The first step is to search "school anniversary banner" on Google. Judging from the pictures found, most of them are very streamlined. The most common one is "celebrating N years of XXX", followed by three or five words to highlight the theme. For example, "excellence in education", "hope against cancer" and "God's Faithfulness". If there is no "of", the most it will follow is "proud of our past, dedicated to our future" or "leading the revolution in education".

But since the title of this celebration party likes to be as long as 35 words, let’s try to write it as little as possible. You see, there are so many words in the original translation, and it is such a pity that the English language is so small when placed on such a large background board.

This establishes the first principle: the fewer words, the better.

Next, please note that even English slogans do not use verbs. It is customary to use either a noun or a "verb ing" with a noun quality. This has a great advantage, that is, there is no need to study whether to use present tense, past tense, present continuous tense, present perfect tense, or past perfect tense (Wow, I actually remember the names of these tenses. A little red flower for myself first).

This establishes the second principle: try to use nouns or noun-like words.

Continuing to observe, English slogans rarely use repeated words except "the". This point is also very important in writing. Even in Li Qingzhao's poem "Looking and searching, deserted, miserable and miserable", the words are repeated rather than repeated. I usually make this mistake easily, but I have to avoid it here.

This establishes the third principle: do not repeat words.

Now the translation officially begins.

I have been accustomed to hearing this word since I was a child, and everyone knows that it is fake and empty. However, just like in ancient times, when courtiers mentioned the emperor, they had to raise their hands to the sky to show awe. Nowadays, when we need to express respect for others, we often use this word. As a result, the original sincerity has been watered down, and the taste is quite bland. .

Across several web and software versions, everyone seems to be leaning toward "Our Highest Tribute." I am not going to discuss which of the N synonyms in English between the words "respect" and "sublime" is the most suitable. In fact, I got the inspiration from searching Google images before and fell in love with the word "honor". Honor is defined as "regard with great respect" as a verb and as "high respect, great esteem" as a noun in the Oxford Dictionary. Except for the word "most" in the original slogan, I think it is enough to solve the problem.

If you want to use "honor" here, according to the second principle of using nouns as much as possible above, there are two methods: one is to convert it into a noun-like "honoring", and the other is to use the phrase "in honor of ". The usage and habits of both are similar. According to the first principle of keeping as few words as possible, "honoring" should be chosen.

After referring to Google, it is very common to use "honoring" in English celebration flyers, such as "honoring our outstanding high school students/founder/hero". The key is to be able to pick up "people" later. This is very useful later, because we also need to mention "predecessors and sages", so this is it!

This word is translated as "predecessor" in several versions. It's true to interpret it literally, but I think "Alumni" is more appropriate. You see, this occasion is the anniversary of the school. The so-called "predecessors" are of course the alumni of Zhejiang University and not all the predecessors who have made contributions. If you applaud and lay flowers for other people's achievements during your own school anniversary, I would be unlucky enough to get drunk with such fraternity. It’s not easy to clearly say “alumni of our school who have made significant contributions” on their slogans. It just expresses modesty for fear of being misunderstood as arrogance, implying that no one except graduates of Zhejiang University can make “significant contributions.” However, the Chinese people are not used to boasting about themselves, which is actually a fair and just thing. Because when the translation is done to “outsiders”, there is no need to pretend to be an immortal.

As for "virtuous", there are many words that can be used. "Outstanding", "exceptional", "prominent", etc. are all fine. I randomly chose "Distinguished" because I just thought the longer words would make it more pretentious, hahaha.

There is no doubt that this word is translated as "Explore the Unknown", even the software knows it. But according to the second principle of using nouns as much as possible, it is very annoying to insert this verb and think about the tense. Unfortunately, after changing it to "exploring the unknown" or "exploration into the unknown", it feels awkward no matter how you put it. For example:

“Honoring Our Distinguished Alumni for exploring the Unknown and contributing...”

Or:

“Honoring Our Distinguished Alumni for their exploration into the Unknown and contribution..."

The source of the awkwardness is that the words "country and people" must be connected with "and", which is equivalent to two "and" in a short sentence. . Violating the third principle, no.

I had an idea and changed "explore" into "explorer" and added a comma to separate it to modify "Distinguished Alumni". According to the motto of Zhejiang University, “Seeking truth and innovating,” the original slogan refers to the exploration of unknown fields by predecessors, so it is appropriate to say that outstanding alumni are “explorers of the Unknown.”

I originally didn’t like “contribution” very much, because this word is used when referring to alumni donating money. But then I thought about it, and I realized that just using "achievement" might offend the alumni who donated money. How can we rely solely on the state to produce research results without any funding? So let’s just use the general “contribution”.

Another typical slogan. If you search for the commonly used "the country and the people" on Google, you will find that the terms you find are all related to China, including Hong Kong's English-language South China Morning Post, which fully illustrates the Chinese characteristics of this term. However, there are many things with Chinese characteristics in celebrations, so it’s not bad to wear them.

Okay, now combine the five elements and the effect is as follows.

Original slogan: (35 words)

My version: (18 words)

The basic meaning is there, and it looks like an English slogan. Overall, I am quite satisfied with my translation. If you must compare it with other versions, it is better to invite a foreigner to come over and ask him which one he thinks is suitable. I believe that some people will like my version.

Judging from the comments online this time, the "mistake" made by the outsourcing translation company this time is just the tip of the iceberg. It was only amplified by the bad luck of running into a big situation. Grammar, word selection, and sentence order are all things that artificial intelligence can solve sooner or later. Only the translator's analysis of idioms and occasions can add added value, so I think free translation is the future of the translation industry. Just like medicine and dispensing can be handed over to machines, but in the end it is still the doctor who decides what medicine should be taken.

Finally, thinking about the translation career that I was very interested in and almost entered the industry, I am afraid that I will never be able to make a living from it in this life. I still have to consider so many things for a slogan of 35 words. How can I compete with others who charge a few hundred yuan for a thousand words? Forget it, just pass on messages to customers and write something when you have free time.