Please tell me a joke, no limit on the content

The joke in my mind is that the teacher is the most cruel, and get out of class ends at seven or eight o'clock every day

When I get home, my father is the most cruel, beating me until my nose is black and my face is swollen every day

When my father was away, my mother was the fiercest, and she never relaxed about my homework

After my mother left, I was the fiercest, rummaging through boxes and cabinets, and drinking as much as I wanted. I love the Party more than my mother, and I love my country more than my family; the Party is my mother, and the country is our family; if I don’t have money, I ask my mother, and if I don’t have food, I take it from home. Don’t do business, don’t work, stay young in a cool and unrestrained way

No taxes, no food, just a bed to work with

No distinction between black and white, come when you need it

No effort, no brain, good food, good clothes, no money

Infertile girls, no boys, no trouble for family planning

No noise, no pollution, bring your own equipment for development

Blessed to enjoy the challenges of the money market, we are not afraid. Once upon a time, there was a mouse who wanted to find a wife, but he could never find one. Finally one day he happily said to his friend: "I have a wife. Haha!" The friend said: "Why don't you bring your brother and sister over and let us have a look." He said: "Okay tomorrow." So the second time One day he brought his wife. After everyone saw it (they were shocked!!) Why is it a bat!

"Haha! You don't understand this. My wife is also a flight attendant!"

Fail again! ! ! ! Wife: "How much do you love me?"

Husband: "As much as a dime."

Wife: "Is that all?"

Husband: "Isn't a dime just like ten cents?" A wife had a sudden idea and wanted to surprise her husband. So I put on a wig, put on a new set of clothes, and put on makeup that was different from usual. Then he went to his husband's office and said coquettishly: "Hi! Handsome guy, do you want to go with me..." His husband glanced at her and immediately interrupted her, saying: "No! I don't want anything. When I see you, I think of my wife." An old couple who have been married for forty years are talking.

The wife complained: "You are not as good to me as before. You used to sit next to me."

The husband replied: "This is easy to handle." Then he moved away Sit next to her.

“But in the past you always hugged me tightly.

"

"Is this good? "He hugged his wife's neck.

"Do you still remember how you kissed my neck and bit my ears before? "

He jumped up and walked out of the room.

My wife asked: "Where are you going? "

The husband replied: "I have to get my dentures. "A lady wanted to have her portrait painted, and her husband found the best painter for her. When she sat down for the portrait, he made a request, hoping to paint her a necklace, earrings, headdress, etc. But in fact she didn't Wearing these gold and silver jewelry.

The painter agreed, but asked: "Why do you want to do this? "

The wife replied: "This is just in case, you know, I might die earlier than my husband. Then he will marry again immediately and let his new wife find these treasures! " Mr. Zhang and Mr. Hou are good friends.

One day, Mr. Zhang went to Mr. Hou's house as a guest, but Mr. Hou was not there. His wife said to Mr. Zhang: "What's your surname? "

"My surname is Zhang. ”

“Is it to draw a long bow or to set up an early chapter?” ”

“The bow is stretched. "

"Have you had your meal? "

"Not yet. "

"Then I will prepare a meal for you. ”

After returning home, Mr. Zhang praised Mr. Hou’s wife to his wife. Zhang’s wife was very dissatisfied.

One day, Mr. Hou went to Mr. Zhang’s house Visiting. Mr. Zhang was not there either. Zhang’s wife asked Mr. Hou, “What’s your surname?” ”

“To avoid being expensive, the surname is Hou. ”

“Are you a male monkey or a female monkey? ”

“Male---Monkey. "Mr. Hou was stunned.

"Are you pregnant? "

"Not yet---not. ”

“Then I’ll go in and groom you.” ” (Hope it can be adopted)