How to Be Proactive 3 Ways to Be Proactive

Contents Method 1: Practice confidence 1. Confident body language. 2. Speak slowly and clearly. 3. Organize appearance. 4. Rehearse what you want to say in advance. Method 2: Adjust your mentality 1. Know honestly what you want. 2. Set a bottom line for yourself. 3. Don’t expect others to understand your thoughts. 4. Take responsibility for your own problems. 5. Don’t try to please everyone. 6. Tell others what you want to gain confidence, which can also help you achieve your goals. 7. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t fulfill other people’s wishes. 8. Know how to bend and stretch. Method 3: State your needs 1. Make sure you know what you want. 2. Stick to your own rules of the game. 3. Break the pattern. 4. Speak your mind. 5. Learn to say no. 6. Use "I" to make sentences. 7. Be more confident in the workplace. 8. Be confident but not pushy. 9. Learn to speak in public. 10. Asking someone to do something is very annoying. It is a difficult but meaningful part for most people and can help you feel more confident. 11. Whether you agree or disagree, when you talk, remember that you don’t need to agree with others. Being proactive falls right in the middle between being passive and being sharp. If you are too passive, you may never get a chance to voice your needs; if you are too assertive, you will look like a bully and cause frustration. But if you are proactive, you can express your desires while respecting the needs of others, and you'll get the best chance you want and deserve. So what should you do? Read the article below.

Method 1: Practice confidence

1. Confident body language. The way your body is positioned can actually mean something and give you away even before you say a word. Keep your shoulders flat, your chin up, and don't fidget (put your hands in your pockets if you must) or cover your mouth with your hands when speaking. Looking people in the eye when you speak shows that you don't want to be ignored. Try not to be shallow, especially when you're nervous and unsure. Hide your narrative and prevent them from revealing their emotions by controlling your hands, feet, and facial expressions.

If you don't like eye contact, sunglasses can be very effective. If you want to avoid eye contact, look away as if thinking instead of looking down.

You can still appear confident even if you are confused and nervous. There is no shame in asking questions.

2. Speak slowly and clearly. Speaking too fast is a sign that you don't want others to understand you. Speak slowly. This will also tell people that what you have to say is worth looking forward to. Use a clear, calm voice; you don't need to be too loud, but you need to be heard clearly. If people don't notice you, say "please" clearly and firmly. Don't apologize for things you didn't do wrong, as this will only make people feel awkward about you.

Try to be concise. Even the most confident people can lose their audience if they can't make their point succinctly.

Make your suggestion concise and vivid, long enough to say everything you want to say, but not so long that people think you are rambling or straying from the main point.

Don't say "um" or other catchphrases. Consciously avoid these when you are trying to make your speech powerful.

3. Organize your appearance. Although it may seem superficial, it affects people's first impression of you. People who are naturally confident and charismatic can change other people's minds, but the rest of us are not so lucky. If you dress like you just woke up, or if you put on heavy makeup, high heels, and a tutu, most people won't take you seriously. On the other hand, people tend to respect you more if you look like you've prepared carefully. Dressing well doesn't necessarily mean dressing up. It's also great if you can be natural and casual, wearing clean, matching clothes with no wrinkles and no inappropriate slogans or pictures.

Wearing sandals, socks, and basketball shoes when going to the supermarket looks very informal, even if you think you are dressed well.

Try to make your appearance as serious as possible. This will make you look like a serious person.

4. Rehearse what you want to say in advance. This may sound silly, but if you want confidence, you need to sound firm and decisive. What's better than connecting? You can contact in front of a mirror, use a tape recorder, or a trusted friend and pretend it's your boss and speak to him or her what you plan to say. When that moment comes, remember how confident you were when you rehearsed, and it will make you sound even more confident.

Method 2: Adjust your mentality

1. Know honestly what you want. Pretending to be confident won't do you any good. If you can't make up your mind or try to "go with the flow," people will figure out that you don't actually know what you want. They'll be more interested if you can clearly state what you want. Easy to do. Being too accommodating can make things harder. Whether you're talking to an insurance agent or a waiter, their job is to serve you and make the job easy as long as you tell them what you want.

Shifting responsibility to others is a form of passive avoidance (there’s nothing to say about it, it’s just annoying). The next time a friend asks you where you want to go for dinner, don't just say casual, give a specific answer.

2. Set a bottom line for yourself. This is a very critical part of the conversation. If you are discussing with your boss, tell him that the bottom line is to no longer work overtime on weekends or three consecutive days. If you are discussing with a friend, let him know that the bottom line is to no longer pick her up at the airport. When you also need a car, when When you discuss this with your boyfriend, firmly state that you don't want to hang out with his friends unless he hangs out with your friends. Having boundaries can help you keep your head above water during a conversation and find a balance between conflict and your own hurt, making it easier to avoid conflict.

3. Don’t expect others to understand your thoughts. This is a classic mistake that passive people tend to make. You might think your boss knows you want a raise, your boyfriend knows you spend too much time with his friends, or your mom knows she calls you at inconvenient times too many times. But on the contrary, people probably don't know what bothers you and what you want. So please don’t use the excuse that they already know what you want, as this may lead to you having an uncomfortable conversation and not getting the results you want. Think about it, if your boss really knows that you want a raise and hasn't mentioned it yet, shouldn't he say it himself?

Think about the people around you. You may really know someone, but can you tell that you know what they want?

4. Take responsibility for your own problems. This is a critical step towards self-confidence. Negative people tend to believe that their dissatisfaction at work, at home, and socially is not their fault and that there is nothing they can do to change it. This is absolutely false. While you can't completely change the situation from one conversation, you can make your desires known by having a conversation. If you are waiting for the world to take the initiative to change, it may be like John Mayer's song, you may just be waiting forever. Unless you take initiative, nothing good will happen.

Some may create fear, what will happen if you get what you want? Maybe you're afraid of what will happen if you get a promotion, or if you finally hang out with your girlfriend.

5. Don’t try to please everyone. This may be one of the reasons why you are so afraid of expressing yourself. You must be telling yourself that life will be easier if your wife, boss, co-workers, neighbors, and everyone around you are happy. Yet this is just an anticlimactic, convenient excuse to stop you from expressing yourself. Of course, no one wants conflict, but conflict is better than a lot of passivity and frustration, and ignored wishes. Of course, your neighbor may not be happy if you ask him to stop throwing noisy parties. But if you're reasonable, he'll understand, or maybe keep his voice a little lower the next time he has someone over. Put your needs before your neighbor's mood, and you should understand that a good night's sleep is more important than avoiding conflicts with your neighbors.

This doesn’t mean you should get into trouble with others, let alone make uncomfortable conversations a goal. But you should focus on what you want instead of following what others want.

6. Gain confidence by telling others what you want, which can also help you achieve your goals. If you feel like your boss, boyfriend, or someone else is taking advantage of you, talk to a close friend. Tell him what's on your mind and you'll get support and see if you have any irrational thoughts and feelings. This will give you more confidence. It's important to talk about how you feel, but don't allow yourself to complain every day. Just because you've talked to a close friend and gotten it resolved doesn't mean you've made any decisions about the issue until you have a conversation with the person you need to talk to.

7. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t fulfill other people’s wishes. Guilt is a big thing that keeps you from actually talking about what you want. You might feel guilty telling your roommate to clean up his messy space, or pointing out a coworker's oversight at work. But these conversations must happen. A little guilt can add to the feeling of satisfaction when you finally get it. Some people will use guilt as a tool to stop you from speaking your mind. Don't give them the opportunity to do so.

8. Know how to bend and stretch. Like everything else in life, being assertive is a state of balance. If the waiter made a mistake and made you feel uncomfortable, speak up until the problem is resolved. If the cashier is complaining about you, it's not your job to teach manners and service, just walk away. It's important to get what you want in life, but it's equally important to understand what it is.

Method 3: State your needs

1. Make sure you know what you want. Before you start a conversation, know what you want if you want to defend your interests. When talking to your boss, do you want a raise or more interesting work? Do you want your boyfriend to pay more attention to you when you're talking to him, or do you want him to pay attention to you when you're watching football? The clearer you are about what you want, the easier it will be to get it. Conversations are meaningless if disagreements and unpleasantness are not expressed clearly. What do you want to achieve?

2. Stick to your own rules of the game. Remember your goals and stick to them, and don't get sidetracked by others who don't follow through, put you down, or try to pressure you, even though they may comfort or seduce you. Keep telling yourself that you want to get your money back from the store, you want your neighbor to stop playing loud music, and you want your boss to stop giving you too much work and abusing your work ethic. Break the record if you must. Repeat what you want until others stop trying to sabotage and realize you are serious.

3. Break the pattern. This is also a great step towards self-confidence. Identify patterns that you are unhappy with and work on changing them. It might be a small place, but it might as well be that your friend always picks a time to have dinner or watch a movie with you when you're not around, vowing to be the one making the decisions. This could be when your colleague asks you for a treat at lunch but never returns it, then asks for money or returns it. Breaking small patterns where you feel like you're being taken advantage of can help break larger patterns. Be aware of the ways others may take advantage of you.

4. Speak your mind. If you have something to say, don't stay silent. It is your power to share your feelings. Remember, there's nothing wrong with giving opinions, just make sure you choose the right ones to actually say them. If you really have something important to say, don't mention other random things before you say it. Make it clear what is most important and should be noticed. Practice in low-risk situations. Do all your friends like and talk about the new TV show? Don’t be afraid to admit that you are not who people think you are. Has anyone misunderstood? Don't just nod and say let's play, state your true intentions, even if there is misinformation there is no harm.

5. Learn to say no. If you feel something makes you uncomfortable, don't do it! It’s okay to reject others (Have you ever been rejected by others? Are you still alive and well?) Remember, it must be for yourself, because the most important person is yourself.

If you don’t respect your own desires, how can others respect them? You might think that being nice to others will bring out the best in them, but unfortunately, excessive generosity often has the opposite effect.

People value the investment of their time, energy, and money, so if you do all the giving, you help that person get better, but they will only get worse. Take a stand! People may resist or even be shocked by your transformation the first time, but eventually they will respect you.

6. Use "I" to make sentences. This can really help you express what you want without making others defensive. Don't say, "You came in and I was frustrated." Say, "I kept doing this until I was frustrated because you hadn't done anything yet." Even though you're stating the same thing, using the second person makes the other person feel like they've made some terrible mistake. This is also very practical in the workplace. Tell the boss, I would really appreciate it if you could give me three days' notice that you would work overtime on the weekend, instead of saying that your request is really unreasonable.

7. Be more confident in the workplace. If you want to advance in your career, you must know what you want and what you deserve. If you've been with the company for six months or a year and are getting paid less than similar positions, taking on additional responsibilities without getting more work, or just getting a title change, it's time to talk to your boss. If you don't speak up, your boss or coworker will think you're a nice guy and can continue to take advantage of you.

Make sure you have encountered this situation. Before you talk to your boss, think of at least three things that have increased the company's revenue, additional responsibilities you've taken on, and how you've helped the company grow.

8. Be confident but not aggressive. There's a fine line between confidence and aggression, and you should know it when you cross it. It can be uncomfortable for some people to take matters into their own hands because they don't know how to ask for what they want in a calm and cooperative way. Don't let yourself become this person. Speak calmly instead of yelling. Keep your hands at your sides without waving. Be polite rather than swearing or pressuring a person just to relieve yourself of stress.

If the airline’s counter agent tells you that there is a fine for overweight luggage, don’t get angry with the agent. You signed a contract with the airline (or maybe you forgot to read the fine print). Instead, treat agents like allies. If he can help you figure it out, apologize and ask for an exception. If you were never informed of this policy, ask for special handling.

Many people who want to be proactive end up being aggressive. Being proactive means clearly and calmly communicating what you want, which is what it should be, while being aggressive means overreacting to small things and being controlling.

Proactivity is all about getting what you want, while aggression is all about interfering with other people's plans and putting others in a bad mood.

9. Learn to speak in public. This is the hardest thing in the world for some people. You can feel comfortable telling your wife and your best friend what you want but when it comes to the girl at check out or trying to get you to sign an agreement you don't have the guts to explain or even if you are given a hard time by the girl at check out. negative. Being able to tell a waiter that your food is cold or that a woman has cut in line may not be pleasant, but it can save you from being bullied.

10. Asking someone to do something is very annoying. It is a difficult but meaningful part for most people and can help you become more confident. You don’t have to be involved in a huge fight with your coworker who’s always talking loudly on the phone, the guy at the coffee shop who’s slowly invading your personal space, or your best friend who texts you fifty times a day even though she knows you It’s very busy, and the sooner you talk about these things, the more polite it will be. Say something like, "I'm sorry, but would you mind talking on the phone more quietly? I'm finding it hard to concentrate." If he follows your advice, thank him.

11. Whether you agree or disagree, when you talk, remember that you don’t need to agree with others.

Of course, good relationships are important, but that doesn't mean you have to give in to others or say I think you're right, or "Maybe I should reconsider," even if you clearly know you're right. Compromising is one thing, putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is another, and compromising even though you know you are right is another. You can also tell everyone that you appreciate his point of view, but you also insist on your own.

If you want people to respect you, make an effort not to compromise, even if you feel better after compromising.

Tip: Stay calm and don’t stamp your feet or pump your fists. Make sure you are relaxed at all times to reduce stress.

If you must deliver bad news, don’t go into too much detail. If you reveal the reasons for each decision, others can bargain with you based on the reasons. You are firm in your decision and this can be demonstrated by your brief and strong argument.

When an argument arises, maintain eye contact.

Here are some tips for proactive communication: Break the pattern and just repeat your request or your rejection every time you encounter an obstacle.

Blurred. Agree to partial conditions, more specifically, the principle of partial consent or only consent.

Negative demands, that is, asking for more, or criticizing specifically.

Negative decision-making involves reaching the consciousness to criticize facts that do not improve further.

Use the first person to express emotions and what you want the other person to do without any moral judgment or complaints about others.

If you are building a relationship with a significant other, such as asking for a raise or breaking up an unhealthy relationship, ask a friend to role-play with you. Practice what you will say and then have a friend give you feedback. If you're not confident enough, try again. It would be great if a friend knows who you are meeting.

If you are doing something right and the person you are communicating with is not getting the desired results, ask to speak to their boss. Most of the time you will see immediate results.

Don’t initially try to change your behavior patterns in difficult situations. Start practicing with the least risky situation.

Warning Although you can use these techniques with authority figures, such as police officers or military officers, you still need to know where the line is. Too many arguments can lead to anger, even if you're not wrong.

Try asking questions first and don’t ask for something you can’t get. Gather information and then form alliances. If this doesn't work, it's time to try something else. First eliminate communication of compensation, make sure that others are really looking down on you or knowingly, and don’t point the gun at others from the beginning.

In confrontational situations, emotions can get out of control, so remember to stay sober and respectful.

The key to success is using the right tone and vocabulary. Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you

Confidence cannot always be balanced, especially in the beginning. Many people find themselves going too far and becoming aggressive when they first try this. So if possible, join an assertive communication skills group at the very beginning.