The funniest joke

In the morning, the wife asked her husband who was a cavalry, "Jessie, what do you often say in your dreams?" Who is she? "

Husband: "Oh, that's my horse."

"But," the wife added, "you weren't at home yesterday, and your horse called you twice."

2. Poor dog

In the morning, two neighbors met. One said, "I heard that your wife had a big fight with you last night?"

"No, she is angry with the dog."

"Oh, poor dog! I seem to hear your wife even threatening to take the key to the door. "

Step 3 outsmart yourself

John's secretary got drunk at the dinner party, so John had to drive her home. When he got home, John didn't tell his wife about it, fearing that his wife wouldn't understand. The next afternoon, John and his wife drove to the movies. Suddenly, he found a woman's shoes at her feet. He used her eyes to look out of the window, picked up the leather shoes and threw them out of the window, which was a relief. Unexpectedly, the wife turned her head, touched John with her foot and asked, "John, have you seen my other shoe?"

4. Someone must stay

The husband is reading the evening paper. After reading an article entitled "Women live longer than men", he asked his wife, "I really don't know why men should leave first?"

The wife explained, "Someone has to stay and tidy up the clothes!" "

5. People and dogs are upside down.

Jesse finally has a long vacation, and he will travel to the mountains of Switzerland. He couldn't bear to leave his dog Harry alone at home, so he wrote a letter to a hotel in Switzerland and asked him if he could let the dog live in.

He quickly received a reply: "Dear Mr. Jesse, our store has a history of more than 30 years. We have never driven any unruly dogs out of the house, and no dogs have caused us any trouble, so dogs will be warmly welcomed."

"Besides, if your dog can guarantee your good behavior, you can also come with it."

6. Business

A couple opened a hotel next to the station, which was always open until midnight 12 o'clock every day, and then closed after the guests had finished drinking and took the last bus.

One day, it was already two o'clock the next morning, and a male guest still didn't leave. He fell asleep at his desk and was still snoring. The proprietress was so sleepy that she asked her husband to wake him up. Her husband went into the hall and came back. After a while, he went out and came back, and so on and so forth. Wife of shop-owner impatient, "you have been out for six times, why don't you wake him up? It's too late, please tell him to go. "

"No, don't let him go." The boss proudly said, "Look, every time I call him, he always thinks he's after him, so he takes out a ticket for 50 yuan and goes back to sleep. Now I have received six tickets, which is far from dawn! "

One day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit is gone.

The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss said, "I told you, no!" "

The little white rabbit is gone.

On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss is anxious: "How many times have I told you? ! Don't! ! ! If you bother me again, I'll clamp your teeth with tiger pliers.

Pull them all out! "

The little white rabbit was frightened and ran away.

On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have a vise here?"

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit asked, "Well, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was really angry, took out the tiger pliers and pulled out all the teeth of the white rabbit.

On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have carrot juice here?"

Three little white rabbits

In a mental hospital, one day the dean wanted to see the recovery of three mental patients, so he put a white rabbit in front of each of them. The first mental patient sat on the white rabbit, grabbed its ear and shouted "Drive". The dean shook his head. The second man turned his back on the white rabbit, patted its ass and said, "Chase it for me". The dean sighed. The third squatted there and touched the white rabbit assiduously. The dean nodded with satisfaction after reading it, only to hear him say, "demo, let you walk 300 meters, and I will chase you after washing the car!" " "Dean fell down and fainted. ...

Discussion between white rabbit and bear

The white rabbit and the big bear squatted under the tree and shit.

Bear said to the white rabbit, although you white rabbits look good, you are in trouble! You can see it when you get dirty. That's disgusting!

The little white rabbit said, look at what you said! Isn't it?

Bear said: Yes! Bear said as he grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass and walked away.

White Rabbit and Bear (2)

The little white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar.

An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes.

The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true.

The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true.

The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again.

The little white rabbit said, Give it a bike. Its wish has come true again.

The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches!

The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, "Turn this bear into a homosexual." ...

Don't annoy the rabbit.

The beginning of the matter is this:

One of my cousins has to work overtime on Sunday, and her cousin has to take a driver's license test that day, so she sent her 5-year-old son to my house and asked me to look after him for one day.

Afraid of disobedience, I went to the market and bought him a lovely white rabbit.

Ask me what the rabbit eats, and I will tell him to eat carrots and all the green vegetables. I had a good time with the rabbit, so I went to read a book.

The rabbit soon finished eating the carrots and went to the refrigerator to look for vegetables. Who knows that only some peppers in my refrigerator are green? If you make trouble, break the pepper and feed it to the rabbit.

Rabbits refuse to eat, and they will eat when they quarrel. The little white rabbit was forced to hurry, and his feet kicked wildly, so he pushed the fine sand laid in his nest into his noisy eyes. I was busy rubbing it with my hands, but his hands were very hot, and I began to cry at once.

I heard him crying badly in the study, so I rushed out to ask him what was wrong. He covered his eyes with his hand and kept crying: "The rabbit kicked me, and the rabbit kicked me."

I thought the rabbit really kicked him in the eye. I was scared to death. I thought, if there is a mistake, how should I tell his parents? Call 120 when busy.

Then the doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw that it was my brother's classmate. I didn't have time to say hello to him, so I ran back to comfort him. I didn't pay attention to stepping on a piece of watermelon skin he threw around and knocked my head on the door frame and fainted.

My brother's classmates quickly dialed 120, then remembered some first aid knowledge they had learned during military training and knelt on the ground to try to help me.

At this time, my brother came back. When he saw this scene, he thought his classmates were going to flirt with me, so he picked up one of his mother's pointed shoes and shone it on the unlucky man's head. Suddenly, blood gushed out.

When my brother rushed into the kitchen to get a knife, his classmates tried to explain and ran downstairs desperately.

At this time, Grandma Wang downstairs heard screams and looked out from the peephole of the security door. She saw a man with blood all over his face running down, and his brother chased him with a knife. She was so scared that she immediately called 1 10 to call the police.

It turned out that she had a slight stroke. In this panic, her hands and feet are even more clumsy. She suddenly sat on the ground and put positive pressure on the kitten's tail.

The kitten jumped out with a sigh, knocked over a pot of soup, and the flames ran around. Grandma Wang picked up a bottle of water and poured it over, but it contained Erguotou that her wife had secretly hidden. So, while putting out the fire, the whole family called 1 19.

When my brother's classmate ran away desperately, he was colliding with the emergency doctor who went upstairs. As both sides were in a hurry, they rolled into a ball and fell down the stairs.

At this time, my brother's classmates explained everything to him. But two doctors broke their arms.

After waking up, I called my cousin and brother-in-law. Cousin is drinking water. When she heard the news, she choked up and immediately rolled her eyes.

Her colleague is busy dialing120; When my cousin heard the news, he drove wildly to my house and ran three red lights.

At this time, two ambulances and two fire engines have gathered downstairs in my house. When the fireman was about to open the fire hydrant, his cousin's car suddenly came and hit the fire hydrant. Immediately, the water flowed like a river. He slammed the steering wheel again and ran into a police car that had just come.

In the back, several traffic policemen are galloping on motorcycles, and behind them, it is the municipal facilities repair car.

That day, it was like a Hollywood blockbuster showing downstairs in my house. According to statistics, only five ambulances were dispatched. I called one, my brother and classmates called one, two injured doctors called one, and my cousin's colleague called one. ...

You said you were missing one? Don't worry, didn't my cousin come back from his driving school? The old coach in the car had a heart attack again. Don't you have to make another phone call?

Smile for Bo! !

Party A and Party B went camping together and slept until midnight at night. Party A wakes Party B up and asks, "What do you think of raising your head?"

B: "The sky is full of stars, the world is so vast, the sky is so vast, but people are so small!" " After staring at the sky for a while without saying a word, B asked A, "What do you think?" A said somberly, "I think our tent was stolen." "

A slip of the tongue will not kill you!

1' s colleague asked me: Is Clinton's wife Chirac?

Once I borrowed money from others, and I wanted to say, "I will pay you back when I get the money."

Say, "I'll take you when I have money."

anxious

One day, a classmate named Yu Jingbo wrote a letter, and the dormitory doorman shouted at the dormitory door: A letter of dry rice noodles!

Our Chinese teacher: Please turn your book to 120 yuan.

The whole class is dizzy, and the teacher is nicknamed "money lover", hehe.

Once a friend watched a CD at home, and the quality of the CD was not good. The friend said, "Why are there so many Marx?" It took a long time to realize that he was referring to Massek!

A buddy got married and gave him a red envelope. Dude, say no politely.

I said, that won't do. Once a year, you must attend.

7 junior high school role reading "white-haired girl"

A boy (Yang Bailao): I pulled two Jin of red rope and tied it for my daughter. ...

Teacher: It's not like wrapping a mummy ...

When I was cooking, I pointed to cauliflower and said: potatoes.

Aunt asked: cauliflower?

I continued pointing to cauliflower and said: potatoes.

Aunt asked again: Is it potato or cauliflower?

I quickly said, isn't this a potato ... er, broccoli?

Now that I think about it, it's enough to make people vomit blood. I'm sorry, aunt who sells rice

When I went to buy a cake, I wanted to say "two huanghuali pies and an egg tower", but I said "two orioles singing egg towers"

What is even more depressing is that the owner actually understood. ......

10 There is a girl named Liu Yun in our class. Once, a classmate from another class sent her a letter. On the envelope, the word "Yun" in the lower part of the word "Yun" has a horizontal line, which has become a dot because it is too scribbled. As a result, this classmate took the letter and called "Liu Mang, who is Liu Mang? There is a letter for you. " All the people in the corridor ran out to see Liu Mang. As a result, this girl named Liu Yun was scolded as a hooligan for four years.

1 1 There were mice at home for a while, and my mother bought rat poison to keep the family quiet, but none of them were cured. One morning, after getting up, my mother looked at the rat poison in the corner of the door and said to herself, "Why doesn't anyone take this medicine?" ~ ~ ~ "The whole family fainted. . .

12 English teacher teaches grammar. Before class, she asked everyone, "I have finished it." Do you still understand? " We replied with one voice: "No!"

Until I raised my glass to ask the bright moon and sank into the water, I suddenly remembered home.

14 once playing mahjong on a hot day, the power suddenly went out, so I had to buy candles to continue playing. After half an hour, the weather was unbearable. One man said, "Let's turn on the electric fan. It's too hot." Another man said, "You can't open it. If you open it, you will blow out the candle. "

15 as the saying goes: murder and arson, pay back debts.

In 16 physics class, the teacher said about radioactive elements: radioactive elements are very dangerous, so you humans must stay away from them! !

17 Spit grape skins if you can't eat grapes.

18 received a phone call at the company, which was promoted by a clothing company and kept saying that he made uniforms for a big company and so on. I grabbed the gap between each other's speeches and blurted out: "Our company is not in dressing the!"

The other party whispered for a few seconds, said "excuse me" and hung up.

Teacher of our university: I'm looking for three students, a man and a woman. ...

The class began to look around, looking for Chris Lee.

On the 20th, I went back to my dormitory after studying in the evening, and Lu Yu Fairy mm followed me one day.

I always wanted to strike up a conversation, but I didn't have the courage to go forward until fairy mm was about to enter the girls' building.

I gritted my teeth and stepped forward to ask the mm loudly: Excuse me, classmate, are you a woman?

Later ... later, I enjoyed the eyes of the fairy mm for two years.

2 1 In Allen's class, the teacher was impassioned: How many heroic children are lingering underground? ...

The graduation works of 22 students are made of big red cloth and sewn on black robes.

The teacher who answered the question asked: Why does Phoenix use red instead of other colors?

When the classmate was excited, he blurted out: Because the phoenix is burning! ! Three seconds later, the students who came to see the defense laughed hysterically, and my stomach was twisted with laughter!

When I was in junior high school, my teacher told me to recite Mulan Ci (the teacher was BT), and I was nervous.

When my brother heard that my sister was coming, he sharpened his knife to his parents (pigs and sheep) .......

The whole class laughed and laughed at themselves, and I forgot the rest. Fortunately, the teacher didn't punish me ~ ~

Heaven and earth are cruel, Dou E is more unfair than me!

I bought WSJ for LP. I went to the store for a long time and didn't know what to buy. I just took a bag and asked the owner, "Boss, is this easy to use?" The boss (male) looked at me blankly for 5 seconds and said, "I haven't used this either!" " "

When I was 25 years old, my father watched me write my composition. There is a simple mistake in writing. My father smiled and said to my mother, "I find your son very stupid." I was in a hurry and said loudly to my father, "Your son is so stupid!" -_-b

Twenty-six soldiers came to earth to cover up the sea.

My mother once went to the bank to pay the water bill. After paying the money, the people in the bank said, you don't have enough money. This is the second page. You have to pay this, too.

My mother: What's the second page?

Staff: Sewage

My mother: My family never drinks sewage.

The director of our high school office once again angrily scolded us for not listening carefully in class and said, "If you do this again in the future, don't blame me for being inhuman!" "

29 math teacher's signature action

Raise two fingers and say to the students, "Students, the key to learning math well is three words!" " ! ! Do more exercises! ! "

On the 30th day, I said that my girlfriend was as stupid as a pig, and she gave me a twist, which was painful and never let me go. When I was in a hurry, I said, "I told your mother that you abused pigs!" "

3 1 One day, I went to worship Guanyin with my parents and my brother.

I didn't wake up, so I went up and said:

Guanyin bodhisattva of suffering ...

Mom and Dad:-|||

Brother:-|||||

Bodhisattva: T _ _ _ _ T ||||||

When I was in FoxPro class in my sophomore year, a teacher began to count how many people were in our class.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, tick ...

One day, my dear mother asked me to buy pepper.

Mommy: "Go and buy a catty of peppers."

Even: "A catty! Why buy so much? "

Mommy: "Nonsense ~ To cook! ! ! "

I was depressed and surprised when I went out to buy it. When I left, I specifically asked, "Are you sure you want to buy a catty?" ! "

Answer my eyes! anxious ...

When I arrived at the vegetable market, the more I thought about it, the more wrong I was. Why did you buy a catty of peppers? Too many, isn't it? ! Take out your cell phone.-Confirm again!

The answer is still the same: a catty of pepper! ! !

28 yuan, a kilo of peppers, the boss weighed and bagged them for me. I was just about to pay when the phone rang ~ ~ ~ Mom? !

I only heard the roar on the other end of the phone: "Wrong! No! ! Not a catty, not a catty, but one or two! ! ! "

Sweat! ! ! !

When the house was just handed over, there were many people coming and going, and every time the security guard asked questions.

I wanted to say that I am the landlord, but I often say that I am the landlord.

I ran away when the security guard had a short circuit.

References:

Baidu post bar

Respondent: Xiao Kun-new to Jianghu level 2 4- 13 00:23.

A migrant worker can't untie his stool and go to the hospital for examination; After the examination, the doctor gave him a roll of paper towels. Migrant workers are very confused. I came to see the doctor. Why did you give me this ... the doctor said with a smile; Don't use cement bags to make PP in the future, ............. haha (I didn't mean to denigrate migrant workers, just kidding. Please laugh it off) ..............

I hope you are satisfied!

The Geng Bao family and the mouse family.

figure

Dou Xiaojia: Father: Hao Hao/Yun Hao Mouse.

Mom: Huahua-the hero is in the middle

Son: Cookies-Max Changming

Princess's Family: Father: Geng Hangeng

Mother: Princess Kim HeeChul.

Son: Baby Fan-Jin Jifan

1. One day, the princess and Huahua were chatting in a bar. Huahua said to the princess, "Our family doesn't understand me more and more. What about you? "

The princess replied, "I don't know." Geng never mentioned you. " (= =///crazy sweat ~)

2. One day, the princess said to Bao Fei, "If you are good today, I will take you to Xiao Bing's house and let Xiao Bing watch you eat sugar."

3. One day, the princess traveled to China alone. He took a lot of luggage and asked for a taxi. The driver told him that he needed 7 yuan money and that his luggage was free.

The princess quickly said, "Please take these bags to the hotel, and I will come on foot." (waterfall sweat ~)

One day, the princess accidentally fell down on the stairs, saying that she was unlucky, and then got up as quickly as possible. Look around, it's okay,

Geng and Fan didn't see it. Suddenly, the princess found a problem and thought: Was it upstairs just now? Or go downstairs?

The princess went out in the morning, but went home several times. The reason is:

Geng, my hat

"Geng, my wallet"

"Geng, my mobile phone"

“G……”

"What's left?"

"Geng, today is Sunday, right?"

"yes."

"Then I don't have to go out today."

......

"collapse. . 。” Geng fainted.

Six or six-year-old Fan Baobao said to Princess Niang, "Can you give me some pocket money? Tomorrow, the teacher will take us to the zoo to see pythons. "

The princess said angrily, "Why spend that money?" Why don't you take my magnifying glass to the river to see earthworms? "

7. After the announcement, the princess kept crying because Geng didn't come to meet him.

"Don't cry, car!" Brother Mike Hu Dong said, "I'll call Geng now. Do you have a phone at home? "

The princess sobbed and said, "Yes, but I didn't bring it at home!" " "(= =+black sweat ~)

8. One day, the princess took Fan Huahua and cookies to the zoo. Everyone stood by a big pool.

"Fan Baobao, look, this is a whale." The princess said:

"Hey, stop it, it's a crocodile." Huahua standing next to them corrected.

"no! This is a whale! " Princess insisted.

At this time, the animal struggled to climb to the shore.

"Well, what do you say?" Huahua proudly shouted, "Whales never land!"

"Nonsense, you can see it yourself. They sometimes go ashore! " The princess said

......

(Around: Fan, Huahua, cookies are dizzy)

9. Fan Bao Bei said to Princess Niang, "You are so cheeky, licking your hands."

The princess corrected Fan: "Baby, cheeky hands are called claws, and human claws are called hands."

10, Gengche led Fan back from the circus.

Geng asked the princess, "What would you do if two tigers suddenly ran out of the cage while you were watching the circus?"

The princess said, "I want to get into the tiger's cage and lock the door."

1 1. The princess was foaming at the mouth and criticized her husband Geng's mistake. It happened that her lovely son Fan didn't come back until he went out.

The princess thinks that Fan is the most self-centered, so she asks Fan: If I quarrel with your father Geng, which side will you take?

Fan thought for a moment and said, "Stand by and watch."

12 one day, the princess took her 6-year-old son, Fan, to play at the seven flowers house of God. Soon, she only heard the crying of the 5-year-old biscuit and saw a crawling caterpillar crawling on Fan's hand, which was quite arrogant and frightened the biscuit. Huahua shuddered at the sight of the caterpillar, not to mention the caterpillar made the biscuit cry again. Huahua said to the lovely Fan, "Fan, take it outside quickly. Mother insect must be looking for it. "

Fan turned and walked out. Huahua thought she had achieved her goal, but Fan came in soon. There were two caterpillars crawling on her hands, and then Fan said seriously, "I brought Mother Worm."

(down. Hehe, it seems to be another noisy day ...)

13, Geng came home after the announcement and found that something was wrong with the fan. He said to the princess, "Wife, you broke the fan!" "

"Not bad," said the princess. After I modified it, its functions were increased. It turns out that fans will only shake their heads, and now they will nod! " "

14, sj and two boys of Shenzhou 7 are talking:

I heard that our ancestors didn't have electricity, radio and television. I don't understand how they live. (cookie says)

-So they're all dead. (Fan Dui said)

15, "Mr. Fan, you got 18 in arithmetic, so your princess mother is going to cook you a good meal?" Xiao Bing said happily.

"Pick me up? On the contrary, I will go back and teach him a lesson! This is all done by my aunt. " Mr. Fan said.

16, one night in a room in sj.

"Is it true that the earth always goes around the sun? "The princess asked geng.

"Of course it's true, otherwise how can we see the sun every day?" Gengshuo

"I know that. What I don't understand is where the earth stops at night. " Said the princess.

17. One day, the princess was walking alone in a small park, and a young couple took their dog for a walk in the park. After a while, the young couple were very happy to see the princess coming towards her. The princess thought they recognized herself and was filled with joy. I thought I was a fan again, ha, I really have a lot of expansion ability.

To the princess's surprise, after the couple handed the camera to the princess, the man stood in the middle, the woman stood on the right and the dog on the left.

It turned out that they just wanted Gong Zhubang to take a photo with them and the dog.

The princess doesn't like pulling after taking pictures, and her mouth is stuck high. The husband and wife recognized the princess at this time and said happily, "Ah, it turned out to be sj's beauty. We didn't recognize it just now. Excuse me, can you sign this photo for us? " After that, the husband and wife gave the princess the photos they had just taken.

With a stroke of the pen, the princess wrote the words "dog men and women". (- -#)

When she was bored, the princess called her friend Huahua. Just as she connected, the princess found that she had forgotten which friend she was calling. I have to ask: Who are you? "

Huahua said angrily, "Then who are you looking for? I wonder where you got the mental derangement. ! )"

Princess: "Yeah ... I don't know ..."

The next day in Shenqi and sj's lounge. Huahua asked the princess, "Come on, did you call my home yesterday?"

Princess: "? ..... is there? Oh, it's your home! "

Huahua is dizzy: "Who else in the world calls to ask who the other person is except you!" " "

-

The following are other types

I was born in a very poor family. I remember when I was a child, my father's life was boring, and I could only count money all day. My mother, too, sweeps money all day. My family lives in the mountains, and it is very troublesome to go out to buy things every time. It takes five hours to drive a Porsche and four hours to drive a Mercedes. Although there is a helicopter at home, it is very inconvenient to find a parking space there. I go shopping occasionally. My parents are afraid that I will be kidnapped, and I am protected by more than 20 bodyguards. Everyone scares me away when they see me, so I was rejected since I was a child. ...

Because my home is deep in the mountains, it is very cold every winter. My father also said that going out to buy things is very troublesome, so there is no heater in winter ... no quilt ... I can only burn money with my parents every day to keep warm ... When I sleep, I can only sleep with money (I think the pound is warmer).

I remember I peed my pants once when I was a child, because my room was too big to rush out of it. So, my father put a small sheep motorcycle in my room, so that I could rush out of 1000 ping's room in 1000 minutes, cross the 5 km corridor and reach the 800 ping toilet (I often get lost in the corridor). Dad also found someone to build another 20 shabby rooms with 250 small toilets in a 600-square-meter area, saying: If you get wet, change rooms directly. If the room is not enough or too small, tell dad to ask someone to build more rooms. Our life is hard, so you must put up with it! !

Now that I think about it, Dad is really a kind man! !

I still remember one time, my house was attacked by a thief, because he blew up my dad's safe with explosives, and the gold coins inside kept rolling out. As a result, the thief was crushed to death ... I feel sorry for the thief ... it is very painful for gold coins to crush people! ! He is not as lucky as the thief who was suffocated by money before. My mother often tells me that our family life is difficult ... so I have developed the spirit of hard work since I was a child. My future wish is to find 200 monsters who can only eat money, so that I can eat all the money at home and avenge those poor thieves.

It's hard to raise

Xiao Wei and Xiao Zhang are drinking and chatting in a bar.

Xiao Wei: "In the economic downturn, it is really difficult to support the family ..."

Xiao Zhang: "How many children do you have? 」

Xiao Wei: "Five. 」

Xiao Zhang: "Wow, five are really hard to raise! 」

Xiao Wei: "The children are fine, but their five mothers are really hard to raise. 」

Xiao Zhang: "..."

I'll lend it to you.

One day in class, the teacher was bluffing there again. .....

Teacher: "In the dictionary of my life, there is no such word as' failure'. . 。”

Suddenly, a shy voice came from below. .....

Student: "Teacher, I have to lend it to you ..."

Teacher: ". . 。”

@ Add Punishment

One day, Xiaoming and Xiaohua were stopped by the police for speeding on motorcycles.

The policeman said, "You ride so fast that you are not afraid of death."

Xiao Ming said, "No, because God is with me! 」

The policeman said, "Then I'll write another ticket."

Xiao Ming said, "Why? 」

The policeman said, "threesome, overload!" " 」

@ What's the answer

Science class c, grade two, primary school,

The teacher asked, "Who knows why Taoist priests are cold after death? 」

No one in the class answered …

Teacher: "Nobody knows? 」

At this time, someone at the back of the classroom said, "Peace of mind is naturally cool ..."

@ Horrible book

Xiaoxue asked her father, "Dad, are there any scary books?" 」

"Yes, of course. Dad said, "There is a book about your father, and I still feel terrible after reading it for more than 20 years. 」

"ah? Really? " Xiaoxue asked, "which book will still feel horrible after reading for more than 20 years?" 」

Dad said, "Marriage certificate. 」

1. Ernong plays the pig

2. Kill the bird man, I am an angel!

3. Handsome is useless! Finally, it was eaten by a chess piece!

Live well, because we will die for a long time! !

We should keep quiet when listening to lectures in church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

My girlfriend asked me what would happen to me if she died, and I firmly said: I won't live alone (find another job). ..

7. People are not smart and bald.

8. You are the electricity, Li Siguang, and you are the only myth!

9. I always wander between cow A and cow C.

10. So many people despise me. Who are you? !

1 1. When weeding in the afternoon, bow and shoot the eagle.

12. The hair becomes straight and the scalp is more prominent.

13. Don't ask me anything, and don't ask me anything.

14. It is better to fight the wise than to talk to someone.

15. Older women can't live without electricity for a day, and younger women can't live without money for a day.

16. The garden can't be closed in spring, so I lured an apricot from outside the wall.

17. No one has died since ancient times, and you don't need paper to shit!

18. The greatness of life disappears under flowers.

19. Women are tools to make human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.

20. Chopin can't play Lao Tzu's sadness no matter how hard B is!

2 1. Zhuge Liang didn't lead a soldier before he came out of the mountain. What work experience do you want me to have? !

22. Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship.

23. As long as the hoe jumps well, there is no corner that cannot be dug down!

You don't have to study hard or review well.

The reason of constipation is that the gravity of the earth is too small.

I don't know whether I went to college or college fucked me.

27. The more money you spend, the closer you are to the bed.

28. If you want to mix in the Jianghu, you'd better be single.

29. It is a plug for inserting manhole and a socket for inserting manhole.

30. choose a lady's style, and the skirt is easy to pull.

3 1. Everything will be fine, and all shall be well.

32. I am Jesus, his son Coconut! !

33. University is about learning.

34. I have a left Qinglong and a right White Tiger, and I have a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

35. If BMW doesn't touch me, MSN will touch you to death.

36. Other people's money and wealth are my property.

I am the most honest person, and I never lie, except this sentence.

Lingling, Lingling, another ice cream.

39. Brother, I heard that the meat of the second brother is more expensive than that of the master.

40. I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with the mouse, then choose a circle of 100, hold down ctrl-c and keep CTRL-V.

4 1. Professor talks about organic chemical polymers on the platform. He first drew a "peptide bond" on the blackboard, and then said to everyone, "This is the eunuch. Let's give him a' methyl'." .. pour the wine. !

42. Bald donkey, dare to challenge the original teacher! !

43. The so-called inner beauty of men refers to the inside of the bra, not the inside.

44. It is gold and will be spent forever. ..

45. Who can stop filming for 90 minutes? .. Chinese national football team! !

46. Handsome men are useful. Can I swipe my card with my face at the bank?

47. It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years.

48. A woman said to a man, Come to my house and I'll give you something to eat.

49. It's not that you don't laugh, but the powder falls off when you laugh.

50. Tall people are tall, straw bags, short people are short people who can stand and step on the spot, and thin people are thin and muscular.

5 1. Only women and English are sad, but jobs and wives are hard to find.

52. It's not difficult to drive, and I'm afraid there will be new people.

I heard that women are clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I streaked among too many chefs for more than 20 years.

The pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with coke.

I would rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths.

56. Today, a group of Japanese visited our school. To be honest, this is the first time I have seen a Japanese in clothes.

After studying for more than ten years, I still feel that kindergarten is easy to mix.

That's all you can find!