How to alleviate the pressure of children's college entrance examination? What should parents do?

In the face of the college entrance examination, what parents should do to reduce the pressure can refer to wishing their children the first place in the exam!

Our children have entered the third year of high school and are about to face the college entrance examination. In today's society, everyone is facing fierce and cruel competition and employment pressure. In this social background, the college entrance examination has become an important juncture in the life of a middle school student.

It is true that "there are candidates at home, but parents are hard to be". As the college entrance examination approaches day by day, many parents are getting more and more confused. In a sense, the college entrance examination is not only a test of a student's academic performance and comprehensive quality for more than ten years, but also an assessment of his parents. As a parent, what kind of cultural background and learning atmosphere you have created for your child, whether the relationship between parents, parents and children is harmonious, what kind of behavior model and personality strength parents have set for their children, and their understanding, care and support for their children are all very important for a child who is about to enter the college entrance examination.

Some parents may ask: Everything we do as parents is for the children, why sometimes the effect is not good? What should our parents do? What should they do? I'd like to make some suggestions for your reference.

First, parents should learn to make friends with their children, be good at exchanging thoughts and feelings with them, and create a good family atmosphere and learning atmosphere.

How can we create a good learning atmosphere and family environment for our children? Maybe everyone here will say that everything we do for our children is to create conditions for their college entrance examination. Our goal is this, but different ways and means will lead to different results.

It is suggested that parents may wish to start from the following aspects:

First, parents must first learn to adjust their mentality. Facing the coming college entrance examination, parents' hopes and expectations are no less than those of candidates, so they inevitably feel heavy pressure. However, parents are adults after all. As the saying goes, parents should first have a correct attitude, treat the college entrance examination with a correct attitude and influence their children's emotions with a correct attitude. Many parents report that they are even more tired, bitter, anxious and vulnerable than their children. Many experts refer to this mentality as "parents syndrome of college entrance examination", which is a common problem of many college entrance examination families. Is this mentality beneficial or harmful? What do some lucky parents think of this problem?

When talking about parents' attitude towards the college entrance examination, the father of a champion in the college entrance examination said: At this critical moment, our parents must be reasonable, and the pressure on their children is already great enough. How can we bear to put pressure on them again? I think the most important job for parents is to adjust their psychology with their children. As parents, we should always be careful not to put pressure on our children and treat their college entrance examination with a peaceful attitude. No matter what the level of children's academic performance is, whether they are excellent students or poor students, they should give priority to encouragement and encouragement, because no matter how much criticism is made, it is useless. In particular, don't nag children, and children nowadays are particularly disgusted with this. As the college entrance examination approaches, children will feel heavy pressure and lack self-confidence. If parents show no confidence in their children at this time, it will increase their panic. We parents should say to our children, "just play normally, you can do it!" " "instead of saying in front of the children all day," what will happen if you fail in the exam? ".

Second, parents should learn to communicate with their children on an equal footing. Parents should be aware of the importance of talking with their children. According to a survey, only 38% of parents can spend time with their children and have more language communication. The results of this survey also show that most children who can talk and communicate with their parents often are in good health and have ideal academic performance. On the contrary, children who lack communication with their parents have poor academic performance and are more prone to mental illness. To talk with children, first, choose a suitable time. Don't talk to children about topics they don't want to cover in front of outsiders, or even criticize them. Doing so will hurt their self-esteem. Don't talk to children in a noisy environment. Also, parents and children are in a bad mood. Don't talk when both sides are in a bad mood. Don't talk to children when the family atmosphere is abnormal, because under such conditions, parents and children can't really calm down and talk.

If our parents really treat their children as friends, we will find them lovely, and their children are actually very reasonable.

Third, parents should have confidence in their children. Our students are all lovely and excellent. Of course, they are in a period of long body, long knowledge, immature psychology and defective behavior, which is also a normal phenomenon in their growth. Therefore, as parents, we should learn to look at children from a developmental perspective and have enough confidence and patience with them. For a child, even if his body is defective, we must never give up. They are good in nature and highly malleable.

Fourth, parents should try their best to create a warm family environment and study and rest space for their children. We should also pay attention to some details when arranging children's lives. For example, it is best to keep the desk away from the bed, and it is best not to buy soft and comfortable chairs. Because everyone has an inertia, if parents create this condition for their children, they will use it intentionally or unintentionally. Sometimes this use is subconscious. Maybe he just wanted to rest in bed, but he didn't expect to wake up in a few hours. Don't put toys and things like that on the table. If your child lacks self-confidence, then you should stick slogans such as "I must succeed" on his bedside or desk, so that he can see and repeat these slogans every day, which will virtually strengthen his belief in success; If your child is impetuous, you can hang a huge landscape painting in his room ... In short, an objective family environment is also very important for children.

Also, parents should not care too much about their children. Parents' excessive care for their children will also cause a heavy psychological burden to their children. For example, many parents "accompany" for a long time. Every day from school to rest, parents will always be around, holding drinks and shaking the fan, no matter whether the children are studying in the middle of the night or at night. A female student, because of this special care, finally led to serious psychological barriers. She said: "I feel particularly annoyed during this time. Every night, my mother sits next to me. I can't stand reading. Sometimes I think about fitness, and I give up this idea when I see her sitting next to me. I always feel that there are eyes staring at me. Now I have a headache when I read a book. "

There are also parents who are afraid that their children will be disobedient all day and nag in their children's ears all day. What must be worked hard, what homework must be completed on time, what can't be achieved without going to college, and so on. Children hear similar words all day. How can they calm down and think about studying? This situation is not unique. One of my students once complained to the teacher in great distress. Every day, my parents talk like a wheel, which is annoying.

As the saying goes, the subtleties see kung fu. If parents really pay attention to what I said above, there may be unexpected results.

Second, parents should learn to understand their children's inner world by observing their subtle changes, so as to help them maintain a good psychological state.

If you are a careful parent, you will find that their children's mentality and behavior are quietly changing with the approaching of the college entrance examination date. These changes are largely due to the increasing test pressure faced by students. For example, I feel inexplicably nervous when I meet an exam. Usually fidgety, in a trance, manic and depressed, tired of learning, and even acting weird. In fact, this is a normal psychological and behavioral reflection of children facing the pressure of college entrance examination. Even we adults, under some kind of pressure for a long time, will have similar psychological reactions. As long as our parents find out in time and guide them in time through scientific and reasonable means, most of these problems will be solved well. Therefore, we usually observe the changes of children from the following aspects:

The first is to observe the changes in the child's body. In the third year of high school, because our children are under pressure for a long time, often some children who are usually healthy will also have many symptoms of physical discomfort. Such as headache, dizziness, chest tightness, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, insomnia, emaciation and fatigue. In addition, irregular menstruation and muscle pain are also common phenomena in children's review preparation. Our parents may also find that for some time, children always say that they are not feeling well, but it is difficult to find organic diseases by taking them to the doctor. In fact, most of these discomforts of children are caused by psychological reasons, and psychology calls the symptoms caused by this psychological pressure somatization disorder. Also, if you find that your child has caught a cold recently, besides some common reasons, you should also consider whether it is caused by the child's stress.

As parents, don't underestimate these changes in children's bodies, because many research results show that if a person is under transitional pressure for a long time, it will do great harm to his body. Medical statistics also show that more than half of human diseases and accidents are related to excessive stress. Imagine if our children don't have a healthy body, how can they undertake heavy learning tasks!

The second is to observe the changes of children's emotions and behaviors. Senior three students sometimes have emotional changes such as depression, fear, anxiety and uneasiness, and sometimes feel that they have lost confidence or even despair in the future and are agitated. All these changes will be reflected in their children to varying degrees, lasting for a long time or a short time. Some parents will find that children will become rebellious in a period of time. The stricter teachers and parents are, the stricter I am. Many senior three children even quarrel with their parents over a trivial matter.

For these emotional changes of children, parents should promptly guide them. If this situation is not alleviated in time, it will lead to behavioral deviation over time. For example, truancy, truancy, easy to conflict with classmates, others will become indifferent to people, interpersonal tension, and some children will get into bad habits such as smoking, drinking, watching unhealthy books and audio-visual products. Even some children will have the idea of "once and for all" and "live too tired" in order to escape the pressure, and even have the idea of suicide. In the face of expectations from all sides, the pressure is too great to ease and ease, and finally it goes to extremes.

The third is to observe the changes in children's learning. Some students usually get good grades, but sometimes their exam results are quite poor. Even some students clearly memorized what they learned before the exam, clearly knew where the answer was, and even remembered which page they appeared on, but they couldn't remember what the content was. At that time, their brains were blank. There was once a senior three student who wanted to be a good memory at ordinary times. He had memorized more than 300 pi, but the closer he got to the college entrance examination, his memory declined and his thinking was blocked. The student is very disappointed with this situation, but he can't control his restless mood, which leads to insomnia and seriously affects his study and life.

Third, parents should know how to decompress their children.

Nowadays, teachers often hear students say "there is a lot of pressure to study recently", and so on. Our parents may have encountered such problems. When you earnestly tell your children to study hard and try to get into an ideal university, their children will blurt out and ask you impatiently, "Don't give me pressure!" " .

A survey conducted by relevant institutions shows that the real pressure children face in their studies comes from their parents' care and love for them. Many times, as parents, we are not decompressors, but stressors when our children are preparing for the college entrance examination. In this case, parents consciously or unconsciously become the main source of children's stress.

As parents, what should be done to effectively reduce the pressure on children and let them complete their studies in a relatively relaxed environment?

First of all, parents should learn to control their emotions and influence their children with good behavior and positive attitude towards life. Generally speaking, the parents of our junior three children are middle-aged, and everyone is the business backbone of the unit and the pillar of the family. During this period, the burden on parents is also the heaviest. They should take care of their parents and children, participate in various social activities and deal with various criss-crossing interpersonal relationships. Everyone is under great pressure, and it is inevitable that there will be some bad emotions. Emotional parents often vent their emotions on their children because of trivial matters, which not only has a bad influence on their emotions, but also causes unnecessary harm to their children. What needs to be suggested here is that parents of senior three students should learn to control and adjust their emotions, let warm affection pervade the whole family and give their children a happy and good mood. If children are influenced by their parents' positive and healthy emotions, they will be full of vitality and enterprising.

Second, as parents, we should correct our inner psychological compensation and comparison psychology in time. Many parents blindly urge their children to study hard and get good grades regardless of their children's actual situation. There are actually two wrong psychological concepts at work. It is an extremely selfish psychological state to compensate or compare with others. As a parent, you can't realize your ideals and satisfy your vanity on the basis of extremely selfish discipline and unrealistic expectations for your children. What you have done is unfair and cruel to children. Children are not burdened with such heavy responsibilities and obligations.

Third, it is necessary to reduce the psychological burden caused by the psychology of single-plank bridge to children. Faced with the pressure of employment in society, many parents think that if their children fail to enter the university, their life will be over and there will be no future. They pinned their children's hopes for life on the wooden bridge of the college entrance examination. It should be said that all the children who take the college entrance examination are hopeful. As I said just now, our children are all excellent, but in different ways. However, China's higher education is not developed enough after all, and not all people can enter universities for further study. This determines that in the college entrance examination, Bi Ding is bound to have children fail the list. The pain of failing the list, as parents, may not be as profound and unforgettable as our children have experienced. In this regard, parents should think from another angle.

We don't need to avoid the question of whether our children can go to college. However, it is still too early to talk about this issue with children. As the college entrance examination approaches, we might as well discuss with our children calmly and seriously how to treat the question of being admitted to or not admitted to the university. Parents should understand and let their children know that in fact, everyone has different genes, different living environments and different growth experiences. It is true that university is a good place to promote and train people, and it is easier to succeed from here. However, although some people are poor in learning, they have higher talents in other aspects and are more likely to become talents. As long as you work hard, you can succeed in any line. Take a path that suits you, and you will give full play to your talents. What suits you is the best. Of course, the timing of a conversation like this must be well grasped.

Parents should set reasonable expectations for themselves and realistic goals for their children. The reason why we are asked to do this is only one purpose, that is, to learn to reduce the pressure on children, so that every child can easily and calmly enter and leave the examination room on the day of the college entrance examination next year, so that every child can get the grades she deserves.

In the face of their children, how should parents determine their expectations and what goals should they set for their children? On the one hand, if this goal is not too high, it will make children feel that their parents' expectations are like "a mountain" on their heads, and there is no chance to breathe. If the psychological pressure is too great, children will have the mentality of giving up and feel tired of learning. On the other hand, the requirements for children should not be too casual and too loose. Indeed, giving children a relaxed environment is more conducive to their growth and study. However, if parents' requirements for their children are too low, or even a laissez-faire attitude, for most children, it is bound to produce inertia.

Therefore, we advocate that parents set realistic goals for their children and ask parents to set reasonable expectations for themselves. Giving children too much or too little pressure is not conducive to their study and progress. Stress is closely related to children's academic performance. Psychologists' research shows that there is an inverted "U" curve relationship between psychological stress level and children's learning effect, that is, too low or too high pressure is not conducive to learning, and only appropriate pressure can help improve learning efficiency. Because appropriate pressure can fully mobilize personal potential and will not cause excessive physical and mental fatigue. Therefore, there should be a little "mental pressure" and "sense of urgency" in work and study. There is a saying: oil can't get out without pressure, and people can't get in without pressure. That's what I said. But if the pressure is too high, it will be counterproductive.