To make girls happy, a collection of joke text messages for couples

1 and 9 said to 3, besides you, it is still you. What a romantic number. For you, I think there is a number that is tailor-made for you. This magical number is 4. In addition to 2, it is still 2!

2. The white rabbit Q B and the gray wolf ran away. The wolf chased after him angrily. The rabbit wiped his body with dirt and pretended to be the gray rabbit. He wore glasses and read the newspaper. The wolf asked: Can you see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is it the white rabbit that rapes the wolf? Wolf Shame: I, KAO, got the news so soon?

3. The squad leader asked: Who is the biggest officer in our platoon? The recruit answered: He is the platoon leader. The squad leader asked again: Who is under the teacher? The recruit answered: It is the horse that the division commander rides.

4. Xiao Li in the office said to Xiao Zhang: I’m going to tell you a piece of good news and a piece of bad news. Which one should you listen to first? Xiao Zhang: Bad news. Xiao Li: The good news I want to say is false.

5. If you grow just 1cm, you have to replace your iPhone 4s with iPhone 5. You should be lucky that your girlfriend doesn’t have the same idea.

6. Don’t ask me how deeply I love you. Go and bask in the scorching sun. The sun represents my love. Don’t ask me how long I love you. Look up at the lonely starry sky. The moon represents my love. Heart!

7. The moon on the first day of the lunar month is crooked and crescent. The person who misses you is so lonely. The moon on the 15th day of the lunar month is round and round. It’s hard to sleep at night without you. Tonight’s moon is shy. I only send this message because I miss you. I miss you so much and love you so much. The moon represents my heart!

8. In the junior high school mathematics class, the teacher was talking about equation transformation. He rolled up his sleeves on the podium and shouted loudly: Attention, students! I'm going to transform!

9. Once upon a time, there were two people, one was called pretending and the other was called disappearing. They disappeared one day. Pretending to happen to see a group of people fighting, they went over to fight and said: I'm asking for help! Those people were stunned. After a while, he said: Are you pretending? Yes, I am!

10. The girl opposite looked over, the lonely boy is in love for the first time and needs you to give me a little love.

11. Son: Dad, tell me a story. Dad: Okay. Once upon a time, there was a frog. Son: No, I want to hear a historical story. Dad: Good. In the Song Dynasty, There is a frog.

12. Committing fraud: The law department of a certain university took the criminal law test one day. The first question the professor asked the students was: What is fraud? The student replied: If you don't let me pass the exam, you will be committing fraud. The professor was very surprised: How to explain? The student said: According to the criminal law, anyone who takes advantage of the ignorance of others to cause them to suffer losses is guilty of fraud

13. Old proverbs and new humorous quotations: 1. The authorities are confused, and bystanders dare not speak. 2. The mountains never get too high, the water never gets too deep, and the money never gets too much. 3. The career path is long and long, and I will take care of it from top to bottom. 4. I looked for her thousands of times in the crowd, but suddenly I looked back and saw that the person was in the luxury car. 5. The Master said on the river: The pollution is so great! 6. Well water does not pollute river water, and river water pollutes well water. 7. Who is the rival of the heroes in the world? No! I am the leader.

14. The vast sky allows you to fly high, and you can create beautiful stories. Kind children should chase them. Send humorous short messages to the little turtle!

15. The child is considering issues related to heredity and environment. The mother interjected: This question is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child is like his father, it is genetic; if he is like his neighbor, it is environment.

16. Sleeping with a beautiful girl will make you excited to death; sleeping with an ugly girl will make life worse than death; sleeping with a hot girl will make you tired to death; sleeping with a lover will make you drunk and dreamy; sleeping with a supermodel will make you expensive; and your wife Sleep and play dead all night. Sleeping with a man hurts to death. Man, how are you going to die tonight.

17. Khrushchev visited the farm, and the reporter took a photo of him in a pigsty with pigs. In the newspaper the next day, there was a postscript next to it: The third person from the left is Comrade Khrushchev.

18. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the poop of the gibbon. The gibbon gently and carefully cleaned it and they fell in love. People ask how they got together? The chimpanzee said with emotion: Ape dung! It’s all ape dung!

19. When the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she walked over and whispered to him: Be careful! The patient smiled and said: Baby.

20. A: My wife and I had a big fight last night, and she threw all the dishes at home from the balcony on the 7th floor. As a result... B: What was the result? A: Today In the morning, the building where I lived was surrounded by a group of scientists who specialized in studying flying saucers. Joke text messages to make girls happy

Joke text messages to make girls happy

1. Life With you, my heart has found a permanent home. Every time I think of you, I smile happily. Every time I think of our future, I get excited. This is the taste of love. My dear, I want to be with you forever.

2. The green mountains and green waters are so lovely, and beautiful women are loved by everyone. For the sake of the next generation of our motherland, we must fall in love.

3. Let the cup of parting be filled with the wine of love, and I will personally deliver it to you on the day of reunion. Let the tears of lovesickness moisten the dry heart, and let the eternal love exude the intoxicating fragrance. Strong aroma. Our hands will never be separated when we hold each other, our hugs only give people warmth and peace of mind, our vows will last until our temples are gray and our steps are faltering, and we promise to be together in every next life.

4. You have long been rooted in... Look at your miraculous skills, rare in the sky and unparalleled on the earth. I thought you were a heavenly being, but others didn’t believe it, but later they all did.

5. Dear, I think I am very happy. From the beautiful encounter to the crazy love, from the romance of love at first sight to the promise of life and death, the five days that passed by in a hurry made us feel as if we had experienced several years of love transformation.

6. Take out your phone from time to time to see if there are any text messages from you and if you have missed your call. I can't help but send you a text message because I miss you so much and wonder if you are thinking of me as well.

7. I couldn’t help but dial your number, just to hear your lovely and gentle voice. My dear, I miss you so much today.

8. Sister, sister, I love you, and I will sing a love song to you. It's cold, it's warm and caring, it's happy, it's anxious. I missed you even while squatting on the toilet, so I sent a short message.

9. Even in that dream, I was gently calling your name. Maybe you are like a seed, implanted in my heart, sprouting and growing strong as time goes by, entangled in my heart, how can I remove you!

10. While I was watching you, a voice came from the sky: Canopy, the meal is ready, please come back secretly... No matter how sweet the phone call is, or how comforting the fax is, it is not enough to cope with not being able to hug you. distant.

11. But you are everywhere, the whole air is filled with your breath, and it breaks my whole heart. . . . . Jokes to make girls happy

12. Without the sky, there would be no earth; without clouds, there would be no rain; without the world, there would be no you. I am the sky, I am the clouds, and my world includes you. I still remember when I bought you back from the pig market... Jokes to make girls happy

1. There used to be an isolated island, and for some reason all the people disappeared, leaving only two men and a strange man. An extremely ugly woman who couldn’t help but marry a girl! The other had been waiting for eighteen years, and he smiled, because those two had a daughter, and she was quite beautiful.

At the second-year class reunion, only one person was missing, so we ordered first. The food was quickly served in the restaurant. After waiting for a long time, the classmate didn't come, so we couldn't help but eat first. Until all the plates were bottomed out, the waiter was very diligent and collected all the empty plates. Just then a classmate arrived. He looked at the empty table and said, "I'm sorry to keep you waiting for so long. Please order!" I'll take this meal! After hearing this, we didn’t even explain, we just silently picked up the menu again.

3. After a lot of hard work, I finally made some progress! At this moment, a strong love rival suddenly appeared. At first glance, he looked like a typical rich and handsome man! My brother looked miserable and asked me for help. That day in the cafeteria, I saw that girl sitting very close to that tall, rich and handsome man! Brother walked up decisively, looked at the man and said: You bastard, you actually betrayed me. He pretended to be sad and ran away! Hey, buddy, that's all I can help.

4. Son: "Dad, our art teacher is so stupid, he doesn't even know a horse!" Dad: "How do you know?" Son: "I drew a horse in art class today. Teacher After looking at it, he asked me what I was painting.

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5. Yesterday, I had a drink with a female colleague. She told me that she was very happy with the drink and wanted to sleep on my shoulder. While talking, she leaned over... I was anxious on the spot. He slapped him in the face and said: Damn it, I said I would drink three boxes, and whoever poured it first would pay. I regretted it and wanted to eat the overlord meal, so fuck me...

6. One day during the summer vacation, my girlfriend came to my house to do O.O. I accidentally tripped and fell on my knees, so my girlfriend agreed and went home. After a while, my girlfriend sent a text message: As soon as I got home, I saw that my mother’s knee was also broken. No one asked me. Applying medicine.

7. Spider loved Ant deeply, but was rejected when he expressed his love. Spider yelled: "Why? Why all this? Ant timidly said: "My mother said, those who stay online all day long are not good people!" "

8. The daughter-in-law was playing with her husband's mobile phone and accidentally dropped it to the ground. The phone case and battery fell out, along with the 100 yuan hidden inside. The daughter-in-law looked at her husband and said, "Explain. Bar! The husband panicked and said, "Oh my God!" The fall was so hard that all the phone bills were thrown out..." The husband snatched the wife's phone and threw it on the bed, and a man crawled out from under the bed. Husband: "What's going on? "The daughter-in-law panicked and said: Oh my god, all the contacts fell out!

9. There was an old lady holding counting beads in her hand, chanting Amitabha, Amitabha, and shouted: "Two Han, Erhan, there are too many ants on the pot, I hate it so much, hurry up and burn them to death for me. Then he recited: "Amitabha, Amitabha." Then he shouted: "Er Han, Er Han, help me remove the ashes from the bottom of the pot. Don't use your own dustpan, because it will burn out. Just ask your neighbor to borrow a dustpan." Remember, remember. Amitabha, Amitabha"

The tenth time I took my roommate in the dormitory to take a shower and changed the girlfriend's number saved in his phone to mine. I then sent him a text message "Husband, I'm pregnant" while lying in bed at night. Only Seeing that buddy suddenly getting out of bed, Badabada smoked a pack of cigarettes and asked someone in the dormitory to borrow money. 11. One day I saw a buddy and said to him: "Brother, Are you wearing your jeans even though they are torn? The buddy said, "This is popular now. You know how to play string." "I looked at his exposed anus and thought that city people really know how to play...

12. Two girls picked up Aladdin's magic lamp. The genie is willing to grant each of them a wish. A takes the lead. Said: My wish is twice that of B. B calmly said: I hope my body is 38, 24, 38. 13. The passenger ship passed by a deserted island, and there was a skinny person on the island. The guy is yelling and waving. Tourist: Who is that? Captain: I don’t know, he goes crazy once every year when our ship passes by!

14. Two gentlemen hunt, one lifts The gun shot, and a wild duck fell to the ground. Another person said: Good shooting! But this shot was completely unnecessary. It fell to death from such a high place.

Fifteen, little one! Bai is a sophomore who often skips classes. Xiaobai went to the computer class that day. The teacher saw him coming and said in surprise: "Xiaobai, long time no see. Last time I saw you, you were wearing short sleeves. , I’m wearing a down jacket today..."

16. Not long after the wedding, my mother came to the house and saw that the house was extremely messy. She scolded her severely. She was very aggrieved and waited for her to leave. Finally, I picked up my cell phone and called my mother-in-law to complain. After crying for a long time, the other party said nothing. Next time, check the number before calling. I am your mother-in-law. "

17. Xiao Ming asked Xiao Qiang: "Are you a genius or an angel? "Xiao Qiang said: "Of course he is a genius." Xiao Ming said: "Well, I get stepped on every day." Xiao Qiang said: "Then I am an angel." Xiao Ming said: "Baba in the sky." After that, he turned around and left.

< p> 18. Once upon a time, there was a duck called Xiao Huang. One day when he was crossing the road, he was hit by a car. Ask Lao Ku: "Will we break up in the future? "Lao Ku said: "No. "If we break up, who will be more hurt?" ""face.

"

20. When a dentist was using anesthesia to extract a very irregular tooth for a patient, he said: "Sit tight, sit tight, relax, don't be afraid, it won't hurt at all, it will be done soon. alright! The patient opened his mouth and said, "Don't lie to me like this. I'm a dentist myself!" ”

21. Isn’t the plug of the mobile phone charger removable? Today I didn’t bring the plug of the charger on the desk in front of me, and then she wanted to charge her mobile phone in the classroom, but she couldn’t charge her phone without the plug. Can't it be recharged? So she wanted to borrow it from me. At that time, she turned around and asked me, "Have you taken the lead to go to school?" I was speechless. How should I answer this?

Twenty-two, come. Fu was dating a European girlfriend. When they were crossing the road hand in hand, they encountered a red light. Fu pulled his girlfriend to run through the light, but his girlfriend threw his hand away and said, "You dare to run through a red light. You must be capable of doing any bad thing. Let's break up." No negotiation. A year later, Laifu got a Chinese girlfriend. When he encountered a red light, the girl grabbed his hand and tried to break through. Laifu didn't dare, and the girl was furious: "You don't even dare to break through a red light. You must have no future in your life." , break up without discussion. "Jokes to make girls happy

1. The cold is coming quietly, because your cuteness is specially explained to you. Keep warm when going out to prevent influenza A from damaging it. Sleep with your head exposed to avoid suffocating the pig's head. , It's okay to pick up a bone. I heard that this is a good way to supplement calcium!

2. During class, a boy fell asleep on the table and was discovered by the teacher. The teacher was very calm and asked his classmates to pay attention. He took off his coat and put it on the sleeping boy.

3. The one who received this message was a pink pig. The one who replied to this message was a wild boar. The reply is a Rwandan pig. The save is a Ukrainian big white pig. Hey, what do you think?

4. You have an unrestrained character and the ideal to travel thousands of miles. No matter how far you go, you will never forget me, and you will never be able to leave me, because your reins will always be in my hands.

5. If there is a rule that a person can only be with one person in his life. You're a good person. I have no regrets and will work overtime with you until death! But it doesn't matter! I'll go home and go to bed.

6 , someone posted a question: If China and the Philippines were to go to war and you were asked to go to the front line, what could your profession do? There were various replies. Then a foodie came and suddenly became quiet: Eat up all their food.

7. Last night while walking on the playground, I encountered a frog pretending to be cool. He vomited and vomited, so he just banged his head against a tree! The boys below: Last night, while trying to be cool on the playground, I saw a dinosaur hit a tree. **, **, pity that little tree! !

8. The young people in my village celebrate the New Year with four great blessings: bright snowflakes floating on the window; a warehouse of big eggy potatoes; a vat of sour old vinegar; and a beautiful girl on the bed.

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9. My dad was going on a trip, so my wife bought him a pair of anti-theft underwear to make it safe to carry money on the road. The old man had never heard of this thing, so he complained: Who would steal the underwear of a bad old man like me? Do you need anti-theft?

10. I heard that you were numb and numb last night, going crazy, trembling all over, sweating profusely, spinning, screaming, and dying. It's okay to touch any high-voltage wires!

11. An old farmer bought Viagra to feed male ducks. The male duck disappeared the next day. When the old farmer looked for the ducks, he saw that all the female ducks in the village had been killed. The male duck stood on the treetop and asked why. The duck said: I miss the eagle!

12. The son picked up a billiard ball on the street and threw it around. The father saw it and said: Be careful. Don't hit bad people. After hearing this, the son asked: Dad, can you hit good people?

13. It is very hot in summer. Some people say that sleeping with a pet can calm down and make it less hot. I tried it, but the next day, my penguin died, so I plan to sleep with you tonight.

14. Patient: I have insomnia; Doctor: These medicines are so yellow that I can dream about them. Andy Lau; red can dream of F4; white can dream of Zhang Xinzhe. Patient: What if I eat together? Doctor: Then you can meet Leslie Cheung.

15. Do you know the latest abbreviations for envy, jealousy, and hatred? Let me tell you: hum~che~bah! Friends, children's shoes, isn't this too expressive, accurate and powerful?

16. What kind of words can express my mood at this moment; what kind of actions can express my love at this moment; whisper your nickname - Piggy, you are the only one in my life, The afterlife continues!

17. When I have money: buy two fans, one for me to fan myself and one for you to fan; send two text messages, one to anger you and one to coax you. I don’t have any money now, so I’ll send you a text message first to piss you off!

18. Your disheveled hairstyle surpasses that of Japanese and Korean handsome men. You wear layers of clothes in a mixed style. Your melancholy eyes are indescribable. Your cool posture when smoking is indescribable. You think you are a peerless supermodel, but in fact you are He is the sharp second brother.

19. I looked back inadvertently, and I was facing your fiery eyes. You were as warm as wine, and I was so shy. You chased after me, and I ran away quickly, exclaiming incessantly: Whose house is this? What a dog, so lethargic!

20. A: What does postdoctoral fellow mean? B: You don’t know this either? She's the doctor's wife! A: Why? B: Because the emperor’s wife is called the queen, the king’s wife is called the queen, and of course the doctor’s wife is called the postdoctoral fellow!

21. You were so naughty when you were a child! In order to prevent fires, a forest erected a sign: Please do not leave any fire! The next day, the smoker was emboldened, but the young couple ran away happily when they saw it. It turned out that you had removed the two points of the word "火"!

22. Eight kinds of ignorance: You don’t drink when the leader toasts, you touch the leader’s lady first, you ride in the car when the leader walks, you are wordy when the leader talks, you talk nonsense about the leader’s private matters, you take off your clothes first when the leader takes a shower, and you pick up the food when the leader picks up the food. You turn the table, the leader draws the cards and you draw them yourself.

23. A river of spring water, a river of waves, and a mountain is higher than a mountain. Send a message to the idiot. The idiot must take out his mobile phone. He takes out his mobile phone and looks down. After reading, it is not difficult to forward it. His fingers move quickly. Like electricity, I would also like to transfer it back to me!

24. Man: It’s raining really hard today. Woman: Yes. Man: That’s because God is drooling over you. Woman: So that gust of wind that blew just now was God farting on you?

25. The wonderful thing about the teacher teaching Chinese characters to international students: crooked means incorrect; prison means a person is imprisoned! The teacher asked the students: What is the symbolic interpretation of the word donkey? ! An international student answered: A donkey is a horse with a registered permanent residence!

26. Someone was bitten by a dog and rushed to the hospital for medicine. The doctor is getting ready to get off work: Look what time it is, don’t you know when you should come to work? The man said: I know, but the dog doesn’t understand!

27. The husband came home from get off work and saw a box of cakes on the table with three candles on it. He asked: Whose birthday is it? The wife next to me replied coldly: This is the dress I am wearing. It is already 3 years old today!

28. A group of matches crowded together to keep warm. When the firecracker saw it, he squeezed over and said: Hey, brother, before I finished speaking, I heard a bang. The match said: Brother, you don’t have to dig your heart out to keep warm. Bar!

29. I have a cat at home. In winter, when the cat is sleeping and unconscious, I secretly put a hot water bottle under its body. In ten seconds, the cat rushes under the bed at the speed of a rocket and spreads its legs. , in the shape of a gray machine, has achieved a rapid cooling effect.

30. My family raises a sow and a group of pig babies. If you are willing to live in my house, I will sell the sow and live with you wholeheartedly.

31. My real name is to tease you, my nickname is Doudou, my former name is in vain if it is not amusing, my pen name is in vain if it is amusing, my online name is in vain to amuse whoever is not amusing, and if my motto is not amusing, I am in vain to amuse you. . I said I was just teasing you, why are you still reading? Just wish you were happy.

32. Thirty years of technical work will make you a senior engineer, thirty years of good administrative relations, and thirty years of political work will lead you to nothing. Ten years of leadership leads to a clear path, ten years of professional titles, ten years of gaining real power and becoming a rich man, and ten years of political service with nothing left.

33. My nephew fell ill once. After he came back from the hospital, he kept crying and said: I want to turn into a turtle. Ask him why he turned into a turtle? Answer: Turtles have large hard shells that cannot be penetrated by needles.

34. An ant actually crawled from Sichuan to Tokyo. Is it possible? Answer: Climb up the map. The school bell rang, but no classmates were in the classroom. What's going on? Answer: It’s a physical education class.

35. The first time I met Sister Feng, I thought that with her face, if she dared to admit that she was the second in the world, no one would dare to admit that she was the first. But now I find that I was wrong. Since After I got to know you, I realized what it means to have the best among the best.

36. When you are sweet, you are my baby; when I am bored, you are my cat; when I am sad, you are my big brother; when you are acting coquettishly, you are the one I rely on; in fact, what I want most is Tell you loudly that you are everything to me.

37. The sky is vast and the fields are vast, and the hope of getting rich is too slim; the road to Shuiwanwan is long, and the days without money are so long; the tall people in the building are busy, can I work with you to rob the bank tonight? ? Joint password: Baby, hungry mud!

38. Robber: Tell me the password to the safe! Don't tell me I'll kill you! Female staff: Even if you kill me, you won’t tell me! You ruined me and I won’t tell you! The robber looked her up and down: You have a beautiful idea!

39. Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to eliminate all mentally handicapped young people who are ugly and detract from the appearance of the city! Pack your things quickly and go out to avoid the limelight. Don't tell anyone that I informed you. Remember! No need to say thank you!

40. One day, Xiaoqiang ate too much and walked too fast, and bumped into a girl. Xiaoqiang was about to apologize, but his stomach got angry and vomited, and the girl looked at him. Zhu Xiaoqiang asked angrily: Am I so disgusting?

41. When will money and dollars be available? Asking the sky for wine, I wonder which one the God of Wealth will favor today. I want to tighten my belt, but unfortunately house prices are soaring, and I am short on money. I hope the boss will be merciful, wages and bonuses will increase, and everyone can enjoy a happy life!

42. If I have one candy, I will give it to you because I want you to be happy; if I have two candies, we will each have one, and I want us to be happy together; if I have three candies Candy, I will give you two, because I hope you have more cavities than me!

43. The director’s driver was working hard to wash the Nissan Bluebird. The director’s female secretary came over and laughed and said: Why are you washing the director’s pussy so clean? The driver said: It’s easy for you to use after cleaning it!

44. Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplars can; not every pig can read short messages, But you did it. congratulations!

45. The North and the South were playing passionately on the volleyball court. A spectator from outside shouted: Come on, South! Come on South! A fat girl refused to accept it and shouted loudly: Come on, woman! Come on, women!

46. I went to the store to buy a box of instant noodles. On the way home, I suddenly felt like crying. Why do I always eat so complacently and don’t I do better to myself? So I ran back with tears in my eyes, went to the counter and shouted: Boss, please have another ham!

47. Thank you for your silent companionship over the years. He keeps me warm when it's cold, and doesn't mind being wet or salty when it's hot. He is always accommodating to me and tolerates my shortcomings. Although there are flaws, you still never give up on me. I miss you so much! Old socks.

48. The wife of a cavalryman said to her husband: You talk in your sleep when you sleep. There is someone named Jenny. Who is she? The husband replied: That is my horse. Ah, I am not even as good as your horse! said the wife sadly.

49. In the new semester, the teacher announced classroom discipline: you can have breakfast in class, but it must be nutritious, steak is fine; you can also sleep, but you must cover yourself with a quilt; the only thing I care about is my mobile phone, because I will never Allowing someone to disturb someone else's sleep!

50. You were pulling a pig and looked very happy. I passed by and said with sympathy: A person’s level depends on who he is with. Before I finish, the pig is very contemptuous. Abandon you!

51. I lead the horse and you carry the load. I walk in front and you look behind. I eat the fruit and you complain. I look at your helpless face and give you one. You laugh while eating. After opening your face, you said: Brother Monkey, this fruit is so delicious!

52. You have a mature face, a pair of squinted eyes, a plaid shirt, an inherited property, bubbling like a period, and more importantly, I heard that you are still Very long life, ten thousand years, is it true?

53. Tang Monk decided to put a tight spell on Bajie Sha Monk and White Dragon Horse. When the white dragon horse was harnessed, the horse cried: Master, if you harness it again, it will only be four hoops. I am a BMW, don't let me be an Audi.

54. When the man took out change on the bus, he accidentally dropped a condom! The man was very embarrassed and didn't know whether he should pick it up. At this time, MM on the side said: Brother, your brother's work clothes have fallen off!

55. During class, the teacher asked: Which of the voltages of 11V, 30V, 220V, 1000V and 3500V can be touched and which cannot be touched? One student replied: You can touch them all, but some voltages can only be touched once.

56. One day I went to dinner with my friends, and then I ordered a small cucumber (the whole one). As soon as I ate it, my friend said did the one you ate have thorns? I said no, and he said that the ones without thorns are usually used ones. Damn, I squirted right then and there.

57. My wife always feels that married life is not romantic enough, so she says to her husband: How about we fall in love again? Unexpectedly, my husband hurriedly waved his hands and said: Forget it, I don’t want to go back to the evil old society!

58. Some people always avoid you intentionally and hate the smell of you, but I like to be close to you and even want to bite you in my mouth. They asked me in surprise: What age are you in? , do you still like to eat stinky tofu?

59. The couple was having a lively fight when ** received a complaint and came to stop it. An angry woman opened the door and asked: Who is the head of the household? Woman: I’ll tell you later, I’m deciding this with my husband!

60. Thank you for accompanying me to see flowers in spring, sunset with me in summer, fallen leaves in autumn, and snow scenes in winter. Without you, no matter how beautiful the scenery is, it will be blurry. Thank you very much for your glasses!

61. Little rabbit, open the door. Today is the Opening Day, and blessings are coming in: the door of good fortune is open, and the people of China are blessed with peace and peace. Happy doors open, happy events come year after year. The auspicious gate is open, and the auspicious star shines high, bringing good luck. The door of wealth is open, and wealth is pouring in from all directions.

62. Regardless of the day or the sentiment, I am informing you: whether you admit it or not, you owe me a dime; whether you have money or not, you have to pay me back a dime; whether you give it or not. If you give me money, you have to tell me when you will pay me back a dime!

63. I want to go to the sea with you, but I can’t grasp the unpredictable future; I want to go mountain climbing with you, but I am full of confusion about ideals; I want to wander with you, but I can’t reach the happy paradise; I want to be with you When you go shopping, dogs are not allowed.

64. When the factory director was negotiating with a foreign businessman, the foreign businessman had an itchy nose and sneezed. It happened that the translator next to him also had an itchy nose and sneezed too. The factory director said unhappily: This is not necessary. Translation, I understand!

65. Banana and Orange’s first wedding night, Orange: You are not like a man. You can’t stand up or be hard after taking off your clothes. Banana: I only thought you were plump before, but now I know you are pregnant. Orange: I grew up drinking water from the Daughter Kingdom.

66. I made an appointment with my girlfriend to go see a movie together that day. When I got on the bus, I remembered that I should call her and ask her to wait for me at home. I reached into my pocket and took it out. What the hell, it’s a remote control!

67. Seven years after graduation, I finally took on a big project, building a 30-meter chimney. The construction period was two months and the cost was 300,000, but it required an advance payment. It was finally completed at the end of last year. Today I went to inspect it, but I was scolded to death and didn't get any money. Oh shit! The drawings are backwards, they want to dig a well!

68. I hung the mop on the dormitory door before going to bed. One of my friends got up in the middle of the night. When he opened the door, he felt a slender woman with long hair suddenly fall into his arms. A scream immediately sounded in the corridor: Who put the mop at my door?

69. The mentally ill patient stopped the nurse: she must tell her the password to pass! The guard said: Ignore them. The electric door opened in response, and the patient quickly took out his note and ignored them, complaining in his heart: That's outrageous, the password has been changed again!

70. Spring is here, and the spring breeze brings blessings to me: Pretty flowers, I wish you health, happiness and no worries! The little bird is chirping, may your work go smoothly and your career be prosperous! You have received the blessing message. You see I am so good to you. You must pay for tonight’s meal.

71. Once, the topic of diligence came up. A said: The early bird catches the worm. B said: It feels wrong to be a morning bug. At this time C said: The early worm is eaten by the bird.

72. The twelve zodiac signs party, the dragon is the chief director, the mouse performs magic, the cow tug-of-war, the tiger walks through the fire ring, the rabbit races, the snake swims, the horse performs equestrian performance, the sheep walks on the tightrope, the monkey climbs the pole, the chicken Singing, the dog stood guard, and finally the pig read the text message.

73. Don’t wrong yourself for others. Change yourself. You are the only you, the precious you, the proud you. You must love yourself well and eat more good food, because if you lose weight, , Afanti will feel distressed!

74. A man was constipated when he went to the toilet. Suddenly he saw a person running in. Suddenly it was windy and rainy. Man, I really envy you for being so fast. Why are you envious? I didn’t take off my pants.

75. A man and a woman were riding a train. After the train passed through a long and dark tunnel. The man said: If I had known the tunnel was so long, I should have kissed you just now. The woman screamed: Wasn't you the one who kissed me just now?

76. My friend said that he has a durable father who will take care of him no matter what happens; his friend said that he has a durable girlfriend who will not break up no matter how much we quarrel; and I only have a durable boss who will do anything I want. No salary increase!

77. Shit and Pei Gou are brothers. Shit Gou was made to stand by the teacher. Pei Gou has been waiting outside the door for him to go home. When the teacher saw him, he asked: Why don't you go home? The bully replied: I'm waiting for the teacher to bullshit!

78. English test, the tape has not been played yet. But I finished the listening test questions! It was a history test, and I didn’t know until I handed in the paper that it was open today! During the Chinese language test, after I handed in the paper, I remembered to copy the test questions from my deskmate. I also copied the signature!

79. A boy inquired about a beautiful woman for many days and finally found out that she was a radio major. One day he mustered up the courage to rush in front of the beautiful woman. Because he was too excited, he said: Sister, listen to the accent, you are a radio major. of?

80. My boyfriend said he would go to the bush where we were dating at night. When I arrived, I saw a man and a woman having sex inside. I called my boyfriend to tell him that our territory was discovered, and the call was connected. My boyfriend's ringtone floated out from the bushes.

81. One day is called Bayi, with the courtesy name Fayi, nicknamed Once in a Lifetime, and nicknamed Babaili Yiqi. On this day, 80% of what you pursue comes true once, 80% of what you don’t want to see disappears once, and 80% of what you should achieve comes true. Happy Army Day.

82. Those who see a woman unable to walk are called nymphomaniacs, those who like reading are called bookworms, and those who love martial arts are called martial arts idiots. I heard that you don’t have any hobbies, you just like the color white. Are you just what people call you an idiot?

83. Friend: Do you like dawn or dusk? A groupie: Who is Dusk? Teacher: There is something with beautiful feathers all over its body that tells you to get up early every morning. What is it? Child: It’s a feather duster!

84. The boy said to **: Come on, someone is hitting my dad! ** ran with the boy, and sure enough there were two men fighting. Which one is your dad? I don’t know, but this is exactly what they started fighting about.