He used to be a very open-minded person in class. I met him once, but he never spoke. Why?

First, speak in a civilized, reasonable and polite way. In ancient China, there was a story of "asking for directions with courtesy". It was about a man who went to Suzhou on business, got lost on the way to Suzhou and hesitated at a fork in the road. Suddenly, he saw an old man herding cattle by a nearby pond, so he rushed over and asked for directions: "Hey, old man! Which way is right from here to Suzhou? How many miles? " The old man looked up and saw a man in his thirties asking for directions. Because he is rude, he is disgusted. He said, "Take the middle road. It's about six or seven thousands of feet to Suzhou. " The man asked strangely, "Hey! Old man, how can you walk in a place like this and ignore it? " The old man said, "This place has always been polite. Since the impolite person has come, he will not be polite. " ! "This story is a mockery of people who are not polite, and it also shows that the Chinese nation has the traditional virtue of being polite. This story is enough to make people who speak impolitely blush in today's society. Another example is a class going to a store to participate in social practice activities. I sent a classmate first, but the store refused. Another classmate arrived and people welcomed him. What's going on here? The classmate who went first was rude and kept his mouth shut. You should receive us. After that, the classmate waited for the manager to finish his work outside the manager's office, then knocked on the door gently, got permission, entered the house, took out a letter of introduction, and begged, "Uncle, we have something to trouble you and your uncle and aunt in your shop ... please give us your strong support ... thank you." This sentence warmed the manager's heart, and of course he readily agreed. Civilized words, reasonable words and polite words are listened to because these words make the listener respected and feel the value of his existence, thus generating trust in the other party. Have students ever experienced that most of one's feelings for oneself come from the feelings held by others? If you hear what others say to you is impolite, harsh or even disgusting, you will feel uncomfortable and lose confidence in yourself. Second, pay attention to the ways and means of speaking at different times, places and occasions. 1. Consider the listener's mood. For example, a classmate accidentally dropped a new pen and broke the nib. He was in a hurry, but you said, "If the old one doesn't go, the new one won't come. "He can be happy to hear this? If you say, "don't worry, let me see ... what can be repaired, you use mine first, and I'll fix it with you after school." "He will be happy. For another example, a classmate bought an electronic watch, and he liked it very much, but you said, "Oh, it doesn't look good, it doesn't work correctly." "Do you think he can feel comfortable after listening to it? You know, when a person decides an article, besides its use value, there is also a question of psychological satisfaction. What he likes is more expensive and he will be happy. However, when he returns something that others say is not worth it, it often makes him feel psychologically lost and the value becomes worthless. Therefore, when you are not sure, don't find fault with other people's favorite items and clothes. 2. The time, place and occasion of speaking are also very important. If your classmate is ill in hospital, he is very ill. When you go to see him, don't talk about how serious and dangerous your illness is, but advise him to rest at ease, cooperate with active treatment, make him full of confidence, and you can also talk about some precautions. This is different from seeking truth from facts, because unlucky words can only increase the mental pressure of patients. For another example, when you go to the store to buy something, the salesman is counting the money paid by another customer, and you insist on shouting, "Please give me a catty of vinegar!" " "The salesman doesn't talk to you, just like interrupting others. One of my classmates moved to a new middle school. On the first day of class, he felt that the blackboard newspaper in the class was out of date. He thinks he is responsible for the blackboard newspaper in the old school and should do a good thing for the new class. He found the monitor and said, "You should have changed this blackboard a long time ago. Let the students in the blackboard newspaper group stay after school, and I will change the new content with them. " Unexpectedly, the monitor looked at him and ignored him. Why is this? Because on the first day of school, he commented on his homework in class and told me what to do. Who cares? Some words are right in isolation, but in some cases, they are not feasible and acceptable. So pay attention to when and where the best results can be achieved. 3. Don't say taboo words; Don't get to the bottom of what others don't want to tell you; And don't expose weaknesses. For example, you introduce a classmate to others and say, "He used to steal from others, but now he has improved and joined the league." Students who are introduced will feel uncomfortable. Someone in my classmate's family died unfortunately, so you should comfort him. Don't shut up and say "death". In addition, you should also master the discretion of joking. 4. Pay attention to the way you speak. For example, a classmate should be cleaning on duty this day, but after school, he should carry his schoolbag and go home. If you say, "You're not in this class, are you? Have you forgotten what day it is today? It's your turn to be on duty. You are going to slip away and be lazy! " Can he accept it? But if you say, "You are on duty today, you must have forgotten?" He won't be unhappy. Therefore, even critics should make people listen. Don't swear, don't talk absolutely, don't choke, leave room, if you are anxious, it will hurt your feelings, and take a step back. This is not to ask students to flatter, insincere, glib, nor unprincipled. If you don't give in on the issue of principle, you don't give people a hard time. Speech comes from the heart, and language is one of the most convincing signs of inner civilization. Therefore, fundamentally speaking, it is still an old saying that civilized people speak civilized words. May the students be civilized people, people who master the art of speaking, and people who speak well. How to talk endearingly? Grasp the key points (specific and concise communication topics). The speed is moderate. Keep smiling. Pay attention to what you say (observe the other person's reaction and adjust the speaking situation). Indirectly point out each other's mistakes (everyone loves face). Make good use of adjectives, ie to enhance the effect of the speech. Call out each other's names and titles (to show friendliness and respect). Talk about what the other person is good at (everyone has his own proud achievements). Distinguish confusing words (such as ten and four). Pay attention to your manners (say more polite words such as "please" and "thank you"). Avoid talking (give the other person a chance to talk). Listen to the other person's words (can grasp the meaning and key points of the other person) Communicate the information clearly (let the other party know the relevant information). Keep a proper conversation distance (adjust according to the intimacy of interpersonal relationship). Speak in a natural posture (without putting on airs). Low-key and steady communication (most people hate arrogant people). Restate and sort out the meaning of the other party (when the meaning of the other party is unclear). Put yourself into the other person's words (into the other person's topic). Adjust your tone in time (to attract the attention of the other party). Plan the time required for communication in advance (achieve the goal step by step). Let the other party speak freely (create a relaxed and open atmosphere). Prompt the other person what you want to hear (express your wishes). Finding the key issues (avoiding future disputes) Being a talkative person will help you make friends quickly, enhance your reputation, help you master the skills of receptionists, make people agree with your ideas, expand your influence and reputation, improve your communication and expression skills, gain new customers and clients, improve your speech skills, make you an excellent salesman or outstanding manager, help you cope with embarrassment and avoid quarrels, and maintain harmony with customers. Chapter I Basic Skills of Excellent Speakers Section I Diagnosis of Speech Level 1. When talking with strangers, you need to have enough courage to open your heart and try to make your character diplomatic. Only sincerity can win trust. Find a topic that the other person is interested in and you like, and adjust your mentality from time to time according to the other person's attitude. I believe that enthusiasm, liveliness and generosity will leave a good impression on each other, humor will make others happy, and you will get happiness from it. 2, deep affection and good words, three winters and good words are hot. Give people kindness, strength and hope, be emotional, see the truth honestly, control yourself when you are sad, and try to make others understand and accept you. 3. A witty answer will help you survive and win the initiative. Calm mind, natural attitude, and believe in yourself to play normal. Charm comes from cultivation. Sometimes changing the topic from the side will improve the other person's Tan Xing and win the initiative in communication. 4, can't be self-centered, you are not a great man, there is no need to live in the center of the earth. Don't be careless about other people's conversations. 5. Overcome inferiority, cowardice, shyness, fear, self-confidence and happy mood. 6. Get information from other people's conversations and use your head. 7. Respect others and smile with heartfelt blessing. How to lay a good foundation in oral English 1. Your speech should be purposeful and clearly express the theme. 2. Learn to listen and understand other people's intentions in any situation. The wording and voice of the speech in the third quarter 1. Introduction is a kind of etiquette, to make people feel good. 2. Observe the speaker's mentality from the momentum, including intention and emotion. 3. Always self-censor your voice. Observe the interpersonal relationship and speaking skills in the fourth quarter from the perspective of volume, intonation, timbre and speaking speed. 1. Put yourself in the other person's position and end the conversation. 2. The language should be full of enthusiasm, which makes people feel broad-minded, full of feelings and liked. 3. Be honest with others, not hypocritical. 4. Make people have a pleasant impression on you. 5. Speak kindly to introverts. Pay attention to whether the other person is interested in your topic, and try to use the method of individual conversation, so as to avoid him. For his personal situation, you generally don't say it first. 6. Speak boldly to extroverts and don't hesitate to speak. Will it cause unnecessary misunderstanding? 7. Speak with an agile personality. Turn urgent noise into moderation Chapter II Communication Art of Speakers Section 1 Tips for enriching topics 1. Find a topic that can produce a buzz. First of all, you can say a few pleasantries (what to sing in the mountains) and invite a "third party" (be careful not to stab others in the back, otherwise it will easily arouse others' disgust) to avoid silence. Pay attention to each other's interests and privacy issues. 2. Be frank and have a focused conversation. 3. Learn to change the subject, be tactful and implicit, handle sensitive topics and expand topics. Section 2: Learn about the listener. 2. Observe the listener's psychology. Part III: Skills of using body language. Looking at people from the eyes, the best eye contact is 30%~60% of the other person's face. 2, observe facial expressions 3, pay attention to sign language, observe each other's lies from body language, sitting posture and walking posture are extremely important 4, grasp the first 7 seconds of meeting, remember that the other party will make the other party remember you 5, smile, the secret of the fourth quarter speech 1, grasp the key points, grasp the tone of speech 2, cultivate a good attitude 3, improve the ability of expression, especially the ability of impromptu speech 4, be perfect. Write a welcome speech. Say something attractive Chapter III Secrets of Persuasion and Rejection Section 1 How to persuade others 1. You should have "honest attitude and enthusiastic performance" plus your calm, cheerful and appropriate performance skills. If you want the other person to notice you, you should show your sincerity by dressing neatly, and pay attention to the appointed time to make the other person trust you and make the other person feel that you are cheerful. A strong handshake makes the other person feel a kind of strength and silent support, and leaning forward makes the other person feel your strong concern. When you speak, you'd better look at the other person with your eyes and make him think that you are aboveboard. Don't be overbearing, but be tactful. Psychologically, you should first be prepared to make the other person unhappy and calmly think about the psychological key of the other person. 2. Expand your social circle, make more friends, firmly grasp the opportunity of cooperation with others, constantly explore new fields and make various choices. 3. Before interpersonal communication, we should "find out the key people, understand each other's real intentions, make him feel that you are the best partner, don't force each other too much, don't make enemies among friends, make friends with comprehensive strength to negotiate goals, gain insight into each other's situation, and pay attention to timeliness. Know yourself and yourself, make preparations in advance, collect information as much as possible, pay attention to each other's state, avoid friction, and seize the time. You will surely win every battle. 4. Enhance the persuasiveness of your speech. Be kind, have a soft expression, open your heart to talk about yourself and listen to each other's words, so that he can go on, show his desire to help each other, praise him sincerely and generously, and speaking from the heart will increase your power to speak. 5. Find a good persuasion point and let the other party speak first to show respect. You listen to the other party's mind. When you speak, don't just say your own point of view. Don't express dissatisfaction to the other party and find out the other party's prejudice and shortcomings. 6. You should be clear about your purpose, take the initiative to explain your ideas, and let the other party understand your key points in the first three seconds. 7. Think clearly about the benefits. 8. Reach out your warm hand, show others a bright future and inspire others' enthusiasm. 9. Express things clearly with sincere tone and serious consideration when appropriate. Learn to understand the rejection of others. When borrowing something from others, it will vary from person to person. Tell them when to return it. When you meet stubborn people, listen first. Let a third party take you to another place, avoid offending the other party in the most emotional way, learn not to refute stubborn people, listen silently, wait for them to calm down, and then express their opinions, which will be more acceptable to the other party. 12, put the words in the other person's heart, it is best to talk less about taboo topics and let the other person enter your mind. 13, create a relaxed occasion and uncompromising persuasion skills 14, so that women can summon up energy, respect and understand women, and make her feel valued. Tell each other in a calm tone that I respect them very much. 15, convince your parents, come up with enough reasons to talk seriously, take advantage of the opportunity to speak in time, and skillfully use others to persuade 16, the best weapon to persuade others. Let the other person be psychologically compatible, take out your own personal experience to convince others, convince others with reason, move others with emotion and put yourself in others' shoes. 17, seize the opportunity, calmly explain the problem, make suggestions, put yourself in his shoes, and use common sense to cope with changes. 18, we should be good at stimulating subordinates' desire to speak, inspiring subordinates to tell the truth, grasping the main problems, mastering the sense of proportion, restraining ourselves, using the pause in conversation, learning to overcome people's preconceived bad impressions and making good use of every conversation opportunity. 19, people with different identities and personalities should learn to speak in different tones. 20. Effective defense methods should be witty, humorous, witty, sharp, short and pithy, with the characteristics of intelligence, flexibility and implicature. It is generally used to get rid of difficulties, refute cross-examination and simplify the complex. There is only one way to win an argument, that is, avoid it, welcome different opinions, control your temper and don't trust your intuition. Listen first, be frank, agree with each other's point of view, and sincerely thank your opponent for his concern for you. Avoiding arguments may make your opponent your friend. Out of your sincerity, maybe admitting your mistake will make the other person feel that your expression is wise and agree with you. How to refuse others 1 in the second quarter, and find ways to make it easier for the other party to accept the refusal. You can listen to each other with a smile, be sincere, use the most humorous expression, and achieve the best effect by hinting or delaying. 2. Tell the truth. Don't immediately deny the boss's opinion when making suggestions. Don't contradict your boss. From the perspective of return, you should have certain skills when reporting, and the timeliness should not be underestimated. Don't talk about your boss behind his back. 3. Have a clever way to apologize, don't delay time, take full responsibility for what you have done, understand the other person's heart, apologize to the point, don't pretend sincerely, give the other person time to accept your apology, and reflect on why after reconciliation. When you listen to the apology, be reasonable. 4. When you refuse someone, you should sincerely express your full understanding and respect to the other party, pay attention to some methods, and try to minimize the regrets caused by refusal, so as not to hurt the other party's self-esteem and feelings, and also to gain the other party's support and understanding. 5. Be sincere and flexible when refusing. Don't let the other person resent you for your refusal. Find a legitimate reason to divert the other person's attention and attract him to the other side, so that he won't blame you for not solving your difficult problem. You can express your sympathy from the heart, leave some room for him to deny himself warmly and tactfully, and refuse less people as an individual. 6. "Self-denial" is a good way to respect others, avoid conflicts, take the initiative to assume responsibilities and obligations, dare to deny, and express it with expressions and tone. 7. Put forward objections without hurting the other party, explain the truth clearly, eliminate emotional obstacles, pay attention to the way, and let the other party understand. Honestly, it doesn't hurt. Chapter IV Secrets of Speaking in the Office Section 1 Meeting and Consultation 1. Take part in benevolence and righteousness with confidence and patience, control your emotions, and concentrate on not rushing for success. 2. Pre-meeting preparation: arrange meeting topics, determine meeting steps, draw up the scope or list of participants, issue meeting notices, prepare meeting documents and materials, select and arrange meeting places, arrange seats, complete logistics services and check before the meeting. 3. Work of the conference organizer during the conference: well sign in, warmly receive the conference staff, pass and receive, assist the leaders to grasp the situation, control the conference process, make the conference minutes and prepare the conference briefing. Conference confidentiality, communication guarantee, residence service, venue service, proposal, conference news report, conference publicity, conference visit, conference cultural and sports activities (such as movies) 4. Meeting organizers' aftermath: collection and recovery of meeting documents, filing of meeting documents, compilation and editing of documents, return of meeting personnel, disposal of forgotten items, improvement of meeting work, sending thank-you letters, printing meeting minutes, etc.