Excerpts from super funny jokes

Excerpts from super hilarious jokes, we will extract good words and sentences when we go to school. By abstracting the notation from ancient times, we can appropriately quote good words and sentences in our compositions. Good words can add a lot of color to your composition. Excerpts from super hilarious jokes are not as good as bad writing.

Excerpted from the super hilarious joke 1 1, the unit is a tree covered with monkeys. Looking up is full of buttocks, looking down is full of smiles, and looking left and right is full of eyes and ears!

You are lying opposite the theater, occupying four seats. When someone wakes you up, you only help two things. The security guard came over and said, "Damn ~ Brother, which way is it?" You gnashed your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

Patient: I can't sleep. Doctor: these pills, red makes you dream of Dehua; Allen's white dream; Green dream of nourishing hair. Patient: What about eating them all? Doctor: Then you can see Guo Rong.

A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!

I heard that you were surrounded by eight thieves that day, but you were not knocked down, and you worked hard ... only later did you know that you were tied to a tree and beaten. Ha ha!

6. I have a request: invite me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate. Please be kind to me, or I'll write a proposal letter, with no restrictions!

7. I heard that your mobile phone has no short message function, so I sent this short message to try. If you receive it and confirm that it has SMS function and it is not sent by me, please reply to me: I do, it is yours!

I asked my boss for a week's leave to decorate my house outside anonymous. After a week, the house has not been renovated, so we have to send a telegram to extend our leave. The boss was shocked when he received the telegram! The telegram said: I haven't finished sexual intercourse, so I'm going to take a week off.

9. Weather forecast: I miss you a little from tonight to tomorrow morning. I expect to miss you continuously in the afternoon. Due to long-term depression, the night will become a big dream and the mood will be reduced by five degrees. It is expected that this weather will last until I see you.

10, A: "The new neighbor is so hateful. He came in the middle of the night last night and rang my doorbell hard. B: Did you call the police? " A: "No, I think they are crazy. Keep playing my trumpet. 」

1 1, a man and a woman who had been dating for a short time announced their marriage. At the wedding, people asked them why they were getting married so soon. The man replied, "I figured it out." The woman replied, "I want to open it."

12, the teacher is doing a family survey. He asked Xiao Qiang, Do you have a younger brother? I saw Xiao Qiang bend his head toward his crotch with great strength ... After a while: Teacher, I really won't kiss!

13. When you read this message, you have been poisoned by love. The only antidote is to marry me. Forget it. Forev

14, Bajie met the old man and asked: Shit! Yue Lao! Why did you separate me from Gao? Yue: She is a person, and you are a demon. I'm afraid your child will be a shemale.

15, Jianghu knows that you are skilled in martial arts, but you can't be proud. If you do this, you will no longer be a person, but a swordsman! Chivalrous swordsman! Chivalrous swordsman!

16, the young couple quarreled and threw pillows from upstairs. A beggar happened to pass by and was very happy. After a while, another quilt flew down and the beggar was ecstatic. So he wiped his tears and shouted to the upstairs: big brother, be kind and throw that woman down!

17, the vampire bat came back covered in blood, and the bats were very envious. They asked him where he got so much blood. He took the bat to a big tree and asked, Do you see that big tree? Answer: Yes. It: he * *, I didn't see it.

18. Before eating peanuts, monkeys should put peanuts in their buttocks before taking them out. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach core could not be pulled out. The monkey is afraid. You must measure it before eating now.

19, the man's neck is thick and big, so he has no choice but to see a doctor. The doctor asked why? The man replied, "I had sex with my wife last night and took two aphrodisiacs." The result was stuck in my throat. "

20. If you shed tears, I would like to be the toilet paper in your hand; If you wake up, I will be the shit in your eyes; If you are hot to death, I am willing to be the only piece of cloth left on you.

Excerpted from super hilarious joke 2 1. Dear Hard-working Households: You have struggled 1 1 minute at work this time, and you have defeated 10% of office workers in China. There is an office worker next door who continues to work and is starting over. All the buildings next door collapsed!

2, work in a hurry, a cup of soybean milk, nervous after work, the road is like a parking lot, workplace, cold heart, not in a hurry to get the year-end bonus, all honor their mother-in-law, the object is hard to find, resources are tight, when can they be comfortable!

3, the life of the senior year is mixed, the head is empty, the brain is oily, the girls can't cheat, the boys can't bribe, the parents rush about, the relatives are involved, the gifts are wasted, the leaders are bad, they exercise behind the scenes, the disciples vilify, wander in winter and summer, the menstrual disorder is drooping, the urinary incontinence kidney needs to be doubled, and the degree is too late to make up. Throughout the four years of true feelings, you are with me on the way to graduation, sharing joys and sorrows, and youth is priceless and innocent, even if you are depressed and bitter, happy New Year.

4, for you, I am crazy; To you, I became a machine; I'm getting old for you. Do I live for work or do I live by work? Work is not easy!

I went to apply for the job, and I was the last one to go in, without glasses, because everyone said I looked good without glasses. As soon as I entered the door, I saw there seemed to be a banknote on the ground. When I picked it up, my face turned red, and I quickly threw it into the trash can. The boss immediately stood up: "You are the only one who picked up the waste paper and threw it into the trash can, which shows that you have a strong sense of public welfare. We need people like you. "

The director informed all the staff that there would be a meeting at eight o'clock tomorrow morning. Xiao Wang and Xiao Li chatted happily and spoke loudly. Ask the director about the meeting time afterwards. The director was unhappy and said, "Thirteen o'clock!" The meeting was held at eight o'clock on time the next day, and Xiao Wang and Xiao Li were absent. The director asked someone to inform him immediately. Xiao Wang and Xiao Li were puzzled: "Didn't we say yes 13?"

7. Once in the office, colleagues were discussing the magic of swallowing silver coins. Colleague a was surprised that coins could come out of his pocket after entering his mouth. Colleague B immediately interrupted and said, "What is this? You can still pull it out if you swallow it. "

8. I really want to sing a song "Dang" to my boss: when the work task is endless, when the salary keeps flowing away, when lunch and dinner are confused, and when the holiday break becomes nothing, I still can't break up with you, let alone break up with you!

9. An employee in the office actually posted a Weibo on QQ when I was at work. The manager saw it and asked angrily, "Why did you send a Weibo on QQ during work hours?" The employee replied, "Sorry, manager, I am promoting our products online."

10, the biggest sorrow in life is being paid in arrears after work, and the biggest regret in life is that there is no overtime pay for overtime work. The biggest sorrow in life is that you have paid your salary and overtime pay on time, but the money is still not enough!

1 1. It's time for lunch. Xiao Wang and Xiao Li go to cook. Today's specialties are broccoli and fried flowers. When Xiao Li saw the food, he said angrily, "Broken unit, the food is not ready!" " "Wang was very surprised. Xiao Li went on to say, "Look at this cauliflower, it's not ripe and it's still green! " "

12, counting the days I can live, I am the big wolf who works every day! Prices are rising, very expensive, and I look forward to getting paid every month. Finally, I hope to get my salary to my wife! I am still a wolf.

13, will you remember every bit of work tomorrow? Tomorrow, do you still remember that you once loved your job and loved you? People all over the world can't remember you, and you can't do the work; It was only by chance that I turned over my diary that I remembered you at work.

14, in retrospect, the work was too tired, in retrospect, the work was too hard. It won't happen again tonight. The old dream that I couldn't let go, the dream that I was with you, has been blown away by work. Look back, the work is coming, look back, there is too little time, leave your job and accompany me to work!

15, six important rates in the workplace: leaders talk fiercely and applaud, leaders are absent from corruption, leaders pick up girls and make reservations quickly, leaders eat meat and drink soup, and leaders are mothers.

16, one day in that year 1 month, during the job interview, the examiner asked me when I would graduate. I originally said 2000, but I said excitedly, "Two thousand years ago …" What's more, the examiner even sighed and said, "Confucius' student"; On this day of this month, I wish you a good start in your interview and career.

17, the work is too tired, and the leisure is tasteless. I have nothing to do as an X partner and earn a small fee. I didn't expect the boss to be too picky and say my price was too expensive. I flattered him and he agreed to accompany me. Unexpectedly, one day, he asked me to pay taxes, and my buddy couldn't bear it. He sent a national note, and the oppressed workers got up and asked the black-hearted boss to rub his back.

18, will you remember every bit of work tomorrow? Tomorrow, do you still miss you who used to love your job the most? People all over the world can't remember you, and you can't do the work; I also read my diary occasionally and miss you at work!

19, the sky is blue and the sea is blue. It is annoying to have no money in your pocket. A job was done for two and a half days, and then the company finished it. After practicing for a year without any money left, I learned to beat around the bush with the city management. Partnering with others to pour garlic, I didn't expect the market to collapse. Desperate, I have to go to work again, with low salary and slow payment. Fortunately, I am very attractive to the beautiful women at the dinner table, and calling big brother every day makes you happy.

20, sleepy at work, off-duty spirit; Stunned at work, smart at work; Worry at work, laugh at work. Hey! Forget it, it's almost noon. Think about what to eat at noon. Although the work is hard, don't make our stomachs bitter!