Funny text messages

1. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to be lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to stay young forever? Do you want people all over the world to be crazy about you? ———————— Stop thinking nonsense, wash your feet and go to sleep!

2. There are three small animals chatting in the forest. Little Pig: Nicknames are popular nowadays. From now on, you can call me Little Piggy! Little Rabbit: Then let me call you Little Rabbit! The little chicken looked unhappy: I still have something to do, I’m leaving first!

3. On rainy days, it’s wet, and your mood is so wet... Every night, you just stare blankly out of the cold window, watching foolishly. I walked over and gently Say to you: "Wangcai, go in, the person who delivers the bones will not come today."

4. This may be the last time I send you a text message. I am hesitant whether to tell you or not. I'm going to the United States in the near future. All the procedures have been completed, but there's nothing I can do about it, really! Bush said he couldn't deal with Saddam without me.

5. Monkey Hunting Inspiration: I lost a little miscellaneous hairy monkey. Characteristics: It is dirty, has a face full of runny nose, has a mobile phone on its body, and can read text messages. Love the monkey has read the text messages. , reply to the master quickly! The master misses you so much!

6. I heard that you were abducted and trafficked, which really scared me. Although you are a child, you are harmless to society. Who is so bold? If he dares to sell you, I'm really worried for him. It would be strange if he could sell it!

7. I told my mother: I like you! After getting along with you for such a long time, I feel that I can't live without you. I want you to come to my house and accompany me every day! But my mother disagreed. She said: puppies are not allowed in the house!

8. I changed my job and now work in a bank, the one not far from you. Come to me when you have time. Go to the bank and shout my name, and I will know. That’s right! I changed my name because it was too vulgar. I called him Qiangjie first.

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Funny text message 1

You look very creative. Living is your courage, being ugly is not Your original intention is just that God lost his temper. You have to live bravely. Without you, who can bring out the beauty of the world.

6 met 9 and said: Just take two steps, why are you doing a handstand? 0 met 8 and said: Just be fat, why should you wear a belt? 7 met 2 and said: Okay Stop kneeling, I will never marry you again; 2 met 5 and said: I haven’t seen breast augmentation in a few days!

One day, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest. He walked up to him and said, "I am Hong Tao Liu." The foreign guest said, "I'm still the Seven of Diamonds!"

abcdefghijklmnpqrstvwxz, any idea what's missing? It's you! Without you, no matter how much joy I have, it will not be the happiness I want. My friend, it is for life!

Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplars can; not every pig can read short messages, but you Did it. congratulations!

In the vast sea of ??people, when you receive this sincere blessing, please bang your head against the wall with all your strength - do you see it? The countless stars in front of your eyes are my infinite love!

I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was taken away by the waves; so I wrote it in every corner of the street Your name... Holy shit, I was taken away by the police!

You are the sun in my heart, but it is raining; you are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; you are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it is a pity that it has bloomed; you are the sky Chang'e came to the world, but unfortunately she landed face first...

Funny text message 2

1. I have been your friend for so long, you have always cared about me, but I always I'm causing you trouble, I really don't know how to answer you. Therefore, if you live as a cow or a horse in your next life, I will definitely pull grass for you to eat.

2. If you were a shooting star, I would pursue you. If you were a satellite, I would wait for you. If you were a star, I would fall in love with you. Unfortunately, you are a gorilla!

3. Meeting you is the beginning of my heartbeat; falling in love with you is my happy choice; having you is my most precious wealth; stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation. Unfortunately - I sent the message to the wrong person.

4. Because of you, I believe in the arrangement of fate. Maybe all this is destined by God and is pulling us together. What I want to say now is - what sins did I commit in my previous life?

5. Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to eliminate all mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detract from the appearance of the city! Pack your things quickly and go out to avoid the limelight. Don't tell anyone that I informed you. Remember! No need to say thank you!

6. God saw that you were thirsty and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice; God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me; however, He also saw that there are no idiots in the world. Also create you by the way.

7. Missing you is a happy thing! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in my heart is what I always do! However, lying to you is what is happening!

8. According to statistics, more than 99.9% of people who look like pig heads use their thumbs to press buttons to read text messages! Hehe, there’s no need to change hands, it’s already too late, pig head!

9. If being beautiful is a mistake, I have made a big mistake; if being smart is a sin, I have committed a heinous crime. Being a human being is really difficult. But you are fine, you are right and not guilty, I really envy you!

10. If I burn incense for one year, I can meet you, if I burn incense for 3 years, I can get to know you, and if I burn incense for 10 years, I can cherish you. Therefore, for my happiness in the next life, I am willing to convert to Christianity

Funny text message three

1. Don’t move! robbery! All hands up! The men stand on the left, the women stand on the right, and the perverts stand in the middle. Hey! I'm talking about you, pretending to look at your phone! ?

2. Because your mobile phone looks extremely ugly, Beijing Telecom has stopped it for you. Please come by the end of this month to handle shutdown procedures. ?

3. The four ideals of pigs: all fences around will be removed, and feed will fall from the sky. The butchers of the world are dead, and people all over the country have embraced Islam. ?

4. Being single is enlightenment, being in love is a mistake, breaking up is an awakening, getting married is a mistake, and being divorced is a great enlightenment! Without a lover, you are a waste, and having too many lovers is an animal!?

5 , two cows are grazing. One of them said, "There is an epidemic of mad cow disease recently. We won't be infected, right?" The other said, "No, we are kangaroos." Already crazy! ?

6. The hunter found a pig, raised his shotgun and shot the pig to death. When the hunter approached the pig, the pig got up. Do you know why? Can't guess? The pig is also wondering. ?

7. A girl went to the ranch to practice milking, but everyone else milked a bucket, and she only milked a little. She was anxious, and suddenly the old cow said: Miss, you milked in the wrong place. Got it! ?

8. The rooster and the hen are hatching the chick. The chick has a mental problem and won’t eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are watching the little silly chicken. The stupid chick didn’t pay attention and is looking down at the phone! ?

9. Please read aloud: The plum blossoms are smelling the flowers again, and the branches are full of sadness. Invite to hear that the rocks are broken, and the dampness reaches the spring green. ?

10. The eagle chased the rabbit, but fell down and died because of the rabbit's words. Do you know what the rabbit said? It shouted: You are not wearing a bra! The eagle hurriedly covered its chest when it heard this, and the result ...?

11. The Four Modern Idiots: Go home after get off work and make money to spend on your wife. Leave your number for the lady and go to the hotel to order lobster. ?

12. Your smile is very sweet, your angry look is very cute, you are the most beautiful in my eyes, and you are the best in my heart. Aren’t you very touched? You are a pig. ?

13. I had a dream last night, and you were the protagonist! Dreaming that you are panting and chasing a pig with a kitchen knife in your hand. But the pig suddenly knelt down and begged for mercy and said: We are born from the same roots, why are we so anxious to fry each other? ?

14. I wish you to get rich and set foot on the Marlboro Road, your career to climb the Hongta Mountain, your lover to be better than Ashima, and your wealth to spread throughout Greater China. ?

15. I test! I'm convinced You! ?

16. You are handsome, with a nest of cabbage on your head, a sack on your body, and a kelp around your waist. You think you are the undefeated East, but you are actually the second generation of the declining gods! ?

17. A man raising a woman outside is called "keeping a beautiful woman in a golden house". A woman raising a man outside is called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".

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18. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I just saw you were so impulsive, so I just cooperated with you. Although I am not a gentleman, I will not take advantage of others! ?

19. One center on the Internet, two basic points: centered on dating girls, basically shameless, and basically untrue personal circumstances. The policy is most fully enforced with men. ?

20. Your facial features look good when viewed separately, but together they look like a beast. ?

21. Test your Mandarin. Please read the following poem aloud: dark stone green, dark carnation, dark stone through spring green, dark stone through spring bamboo. ?

22. I heard that you fired your female secretary. What mistake did she make? "I told her I love you. She typed this sentence and asked me to sign it."?

23. The daughter asked her mother: "Was Dad shy before?"? "What if? He’s not shy, you’re at least four years older now!”?

24. Sorry, wrong pronouncement. ?

25. "How much do you love me?" ? "As much as a dime." p>

26. One day I was riding a motorcycle to the countryside, but I didn’t want the car to break down. An old farmer drove a mule cart over and helped me. While driving the car, he said with emotion: "Motorcycles also have to be pulled by mules." ?

27. Mobile phone self-check warning: There is a virus in the phone. Please delete all phone numbers and text messages in the phone within 15 seconds, otherwise your SIM card will burn the phone. ?

28. Although you don’t have the appearance of a pig, you definitely have the temperament of a pig!?

29. Take MM to the gym and demonstrate various equipment to her. One of them is a rubber band exercise for your lats. MM suddenly said something, do you come here every night to pimp? I fainted on the spot. ?

30. Boy, tell me! Should it be a one-on-one fight or a group fight? In a group fight, one of us will beat you up! In a one-on-one fight, you pick one of our group!?

31. The mother mouse took the little mice out to steal something. When they met a cat, the little mice were all frightened. As a result, the mother mouse imitated the dog barking twice and scared the cat away. It turned around proudly and said to The little mice said: 'Children, from this incident we can see how important it is to learn a foreign language well!'?

32. The four ideals of men: money is falling from the sky, handsome men They all died, and the beauties’ brains were rusty, and they were all vying for me to soak. ?

33. It is easier to love someone than to raise one?