Classic mobile phone hilarious text messages should be longer ~

One day, I made an appointment with a female net friend to meet in a park. I suddenly found a stomachache when time was tight in the morning.

Curse the unscrupulous vendor who sells fried dough sticks and continue to wait patiently.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It's quite painful.

Go to the bathroom first.

After some indiscriminate bombing, I suddenly felt refreshed and froze when I touched my pocket: I didn't bring any toilet paper.

Someone will come in and ask for one later.

So wait.

No one came in for 20 minutes.

It's late autumn and the toilet is well ventilated. It was really great when I first came in, and now I deeply feel the pain of the wind blowing my ass cold.

Bear with it!

After waiting for a while, I stood exhausted. I was really comfortable when I just squatted down, but now I deeply feel the pain of numbness and pain in my legs.

Bear with it!

Rhinitis broke out today. When I smelled that terrible smell when I went to the toilet, I was very happy that my nose had recovered its sense of smell for a while, but now I deeply feel the pain of severe lung poisoning.

Bear with it!

There are few tourists in this park on weekdays. When I first came here, I was quite proud and set the date here. Now my heart is cold.

The last straw, dial out the phone, call for reinforcements, and get through. You can't tell your friends such an embarrassing thing directly, can you? Then let's talk about the weather, the war situation in Iraq, the breeding process of seahorses, and life on other planets. Speaking of what Qin Shihuang looked like, I finally felt the opportunity came, so I said shyly, "Well, I ... I heard cheerful music in my mobile phone, and I turned it off automatically when there was no electricity." .

I am finally stupid.

Wait!

I'll be waiting.

No one.

I suddenly feel like crying.

Fortunately, there were footsteps outside the toilet at this time, and I was refreshed. As the saying goes, there is no way out, and people have joys and sorrows. When we cross the bridge, we will cross it. ...

I'm sure my mind has suddenly become agile.

As soon as the man came in, I was secretly glad and shouted in a deep and powerful baritone, brother, I forgot to bring a piece of paper.

The man got an electric shock and cried. Why is it the men's room?

After singing, I usually bow my head and walk back: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was wrong.

It turned out to be a woman at the wrong door!

A man was seen by a woman at the most vulnerable time!

Sadness and anger are intertwined.

However, it took me ten seconds to realize that I was wrong.

I really shouldn't be angry.

Ten seconds later, the woman shouted outside: I didn't go wrong. Why is there a man in the ladies' room? !

Red adds color to my face layer by layer, and tears fill my eyes.

If you like, you can think of such a tragic scene.

At this time, the remaining reason in my heart tells me that the opportunity is fleeting, and if I don't seize it, the great physical pain will continue.

I said hoarsely, miss, throw a piece of paper in, thank you!

When the great pain of the soul has passed, you will find that shameless is also a relief.

After a while, a newspaper I just bought was gently thrown in.

I hold the newspaper tightly, tightly.

Then he rubbed it hard with his hand and scolded the editorial department of this newspaper with extremely vicious language in his heart!

This newspaper is usually plain paper. Today is the 20th anniversary of its publication. All the newspapers are printed on 16-carat copper hard paper!

When I put on my pants, I gently comforted myself: fortunately, there are few people today. Only one woman knows shame and she doesn't know it yet!

Great fortune in misfortune.

Out of the toilet, I suddenly found a large group of aunts outside doing morning exercises. A girl in front of the crowd is carefully explaining: ladies, go in later. A gentleman inside is wrong. He has no paper. Go in later, it will be ready soon. ...

I just walked out calmly.

When all eyes were on me, I suddenly felt that ten thousand arrows pierced my heart.

I choked up and said to the girl: thank you, thank you, thank you. ...

The girl waved generously: nothing, it's a piece of cake.

When I was leaving, that girl suddenly stopped me! You are not Xiaoming, are you? How come your dress is exactly the same as what my netizen described?