Classic humorous short message funny quotations

1, a hunter went hunting with his hounds and wandered in the Woods all day without any prey.

It was dark, but he continued riding in the Woods.

The horse suddenly said,' You won't even let me rest. You want to kill me! ? '

The hunter got a fright, immediately got off his horse and ran away with the hounds.

When I ran under the big tree to catch my breath,

The dog patted him on the chest and said to him:

Scared me to death, horses can talk! '

So the hunter was scared to death on the spot!

A handsome boy in the dormitory just learned to play the violin. Sounds like scratching at the bottom of a pot with your nails. ...

Harsh sounds stimulate everyone's eardrums,

Out of kindness, the students tried not to hit him.

One afternoon, while he was pulling, the door was suddenly pushed open, and the aunt who checked the hygiene came in and said seriously, "Who is burning illegal appliances in your dormitory?" ! "

3. classmate mm is getting married, and senior sister is infinitely envious.

I said, "Don't do this, okay?" It is easy to get married now. Just pay nine yuan for an ID card. "

Senior sister was shocked: "Isn't that just two people can get married?"

I added oil and vinegar: "Yes, and there is no mandatory premarital examination!"

Senior sister rejoiced and said, "Then I can drag a man to the road and say,' Let's get married!'" " "

I pour ~

Before I got up, the teacher elder sister added with the unique heroism of northern mm: "It's only nine yuan ~, it's my treat!"

I'm completely confused.

One day, Lao Zhang and Lao Wu were walking together in the street after work.

There was a sudden rush of horns behind him.

I saw Lao Zhang nervously hiding to one side.

Lao wu asked incredulously:

What are you afraid of? We are on the sidewalk, and the car can't hit us!

Lao zhang caressed his chest throbbing with disorderly jump explained:

Hey! You don't know, almost a month ago, my wife ran away with a taxi driver.

From then on, every time I heard the horn, I was shocked.

I'm afraid that taxi driver will send my wife back again!

Xiaoming has a dog at home. Once they invited a guest to dinner.

The dog wagged its tail at the guests when they came in.

But when the guests have dinner with Xiao Ming's family,

The dog kept staring at him and growled as if he were angry.

The guest was very depressed and said to Xiao Ming's father:

Your dog looks fierce!

Before Xiao Ming's father answered, Xiao Ming said to the guests:

I won't! Usually not so fierce!

It does this because you eat from its bowl.