Please provide some interesting or classic short messages, fresh or suitable for mom and dad.

1, the soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Step on it

Compensation according to the price.

I have not heard from you for a long time, and I feel very distressed.

I thought of death. I cut my pulse with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, and parachuted upstairs.

Noodles can be inked to death.

Invited me to dinner and died.

If you feel cold, please call me! Please press 1 for feelings and 2 for work.

Please press 3 to talk about life, press 5 to introduce me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me.

The giraffe and the monkey got married, and a year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: I don't want to jump up and down anymore.

Daytime! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." Water said, "I spent the whole day."

I flow tirelessly to hug you. "Pan said," all his mama is ripe, you are still so stubborn. "

6. Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. it

Looking up at the misty peaks, I couldn't help singing: Alaso, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

7, you have grown up, there are some things you should know: the sky is used for wind and rain; Land is used for

Planting flowers and grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; You are used to stew vermicelli.

8. Don't worry if you don't bring paper when you are by the railway. The train will remind you: pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe.

! Don't worry, when you go to the toilet by the river and there is no paper, the frog will tell you: scratch, scratch, scratch!

9. Money can buy a house but not a home, marriage but not love, clocks but not watches.

At that time, money is not everything, but the root of pain. Give me your money and let me suffer alone!

10, God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! think

You, insomnia! It's too far to see you! What can I do? I miss you so much that I can't eat chopsticks or swallow bowls!

1 1, send you 12 zodiac, wish you as smart as a mouse, as strong as an ox, as brave as a tiger, as cute as a rabbit, as confident as.

Dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, gentle as a sheep, naughty as a monkey, beautiful as a chicken, loyal as a dog and looks like a pig!

12, the beauty of learning is that people are confused; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; Woman zhi

Beauty lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

13 I only care about you. What I care about is whether I care about you, whether I care about you.

I care about you, I care about you, I care about you, I care about you, I care about you, little man, I am dizzy!

14, have you heard of it? Looking back on the past 500 times, I got a brush in my life, just like you and me.

My close friend, I didn't seem to do anything in my last life, but I fucking turned back!

15, two counterfeiters inadvertently made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to get flowers from remote mountainous areas.

Guan, when they were holding a 15 yuan buy 1 yuan Sugar-Coated Berry, they cried, and the farmer gave them two 7-piece ones.

16, your life portrayal: learn to bathe yourself at the age of ten-pigs wash themselves; Brilliant at the age of twenty-when the pig was young.

; Looking for a job at the age of 30-starting a pig-raising career; At the age of forty, I hired a servant-a pig's servant; Learn to play basketball at the age of fifty-throw pigs!

Not too old. It's for work. I hope it can bring you happiness.