Let go of confrontation and accept your negative emotions.

"Joy after pain and sadness can be a precious' core memory'", which sums up everything I want to express in Inside Out's movies.

Inside Out is an animated film that opens people's brains. It mainly tells the story of five emotional villains living in the brain control center (they represent five cognitive emotions, namely happiness, worry, fear, disgust and anger) who take good care of their little master Riley and constantly inject love and tolerance. I can't stop watching this movie. When I followed the footsteps of the emotional villain and saw the young master and his parents move to a completely unfamiliar environment, the accumulated negative emotions led to the gradual collapse of her inner world, and tears overflowed my eyes from time to time. ...

This film tells the story of five lovely emotional villains who live side by side in the brain control center of the young master Riley. Most of the time, fear, disgust and anger are willing to let Lele control the console and control the mood of the young master, except worry. Lele vowed to let the little master live a happy life wholeheartedly, so she always tried to keep her troubles away from the game machine, but the little master didn't seem to get real happiness. ...

Gradually, Lele understood and understood the function of worry-happiness is exciting, but pain is not beautiful. Sorrow and pain are not only a way for Riley to send a signal for help to the outside world: when her father, mother and ice hockey team members felt Riley's sadness, they helped Riley; This is Riley's way of calling for love, so she got a loving response from her father and mother: they listened to Riley's sadness, gave her a warm hug, and forgave Riley for running away from home ... I saw a happy smile on Riley's tearful little face at the end of the movie, which was a kind of happiness that turned sadness into joy. This kind of happiness is heartfelt and lasting, and it has become Riley's most precious core memory.

Isn't that what parent-child relationship is all about?

Every conflict to sadness and anxiety will ferment into the fragrance of love, and finally form a precious core memory.

Take the conflict between Bao Si and me as an example.

That was when Bos was more than three years old.

One night, I yelled at Bao Si.

To be exact, it was early the next morning, because at that time Bao Si had formed the habit of drinking milk at three or four o'clock in the morning. That morning, when Bao Bei called for milk, I lay motionless in bed and promised, "OK, I'll do it right away." Because I'm so sleepy. I want to put it off until Bao Si. As a result, Bao Si insisted on tossing in the end: "Where is my money? My money is gone, hehe! " A small family in Bao Si dragged three coins to sleep before going to bed.

It seems that she will not stop until she finds something related to me. My anger immediately shot up: "Sleep! Sleep! Can't you have a good sleep? Find a fart. "

The fire went out, so I went back to sleep. However, Bao Bei began to cry. A high cry and a low cry were almost suffocating. I didn't say a word, thinking that she would probably fall asleep after crying for a while. As a result, she has been crying for more than half an hour and has no intention of stopping.

God, why don't you get up and make milk for your little ancestor?

So I got up and turned on the light to wash my hands and milk, and then I heard my little ancestor cry.

I washed the milk and fed it to her mouth, but she didn't drink it, just cried; I found a coin and put it in her hand, but she still cried. It was not until I took her into my arms and gently comforted her that she gradually stopped crying, then drank milk and slept, and everything was calm.

Later, I went to work, but the thought of what happened in the morning filled me with guilt. I thought, why can't I be patient with Bos? Why are you yelling at her to make her cry? Then I began to fear that the baby would not be close to me in the future, and the more I thought about it, the more sad I became.

So, when I came home from work that night, the first thing I did was to stick it to Bao Si's ear and ask her, "Cece, mom yelled at you this morning, and she was very upset. Mom should be more patient with you! " What about you? Do you blame your mother? "Bao Si didn't answer, but she turned around and kissed my face. A warm current of love hit me instantly.

That is to say, when I was surrounded by feelings of guilt, fear and sadness, I didn't fight against them, but frankly accepted them and told Bao Si how I felt. Then I quickly got a response from Bao Si's love, and then I felt a warm current of love. This formed my precious core memory, so now Bao Si is 6 years old, and I still remember it.

This is my way of dealing with intimate relationships. Every time I have a conflict with my husband, I feel sad at first. Then I will express all my negative emotions by sending text messages and communicate with my husband, who also expresses his dissatisfaction with me in the same way. Then we will find out the causes of the conflict together and finally express our expectations for each other. Every time the communication ends, I feel that our feelings have been further sublimated!

So, please be kind to your negative emotions! When they appear, please put down the confrontation and patiently appease them. Maybe they can help you find a happy answer!