Laugh at one's own funny imitation

1. The knives and forks used by foreigners to eat are simply weak, or our ancestors had the foresight to eat with chopsticks, so that we could take out 1 and play with our mobile phones with both hands when eating.

Today, I trained my dog at home. After the training, my husband walked over and said to the dog earnestly, "Oh, how dare you fight with the tiger?" You are just a dog. "

3. Love is complementary. When I think my boyfriend is bad because I am too good, I am not so angry.

4. Yu Gong was dying and said to his son, "Move mountains, move mountains ..." The son said, "It's shiny, and there are little stars all over the sky! Dad, you are out of tune. "

5. I fight for my face in spring, my figure in summer, my temperament in autumn and my personality in winter, but I can't afford anything, so I can only work hard.

6. I envy those who leave coldly. I can't. I have to take something from you when I leave.

7. The boss who talks to you about money is a good man, and the ideal one doesn't want to give you money!

8. "Why did you delete me from your friends?" "The mobile phone is too stuck, and it makes me delete something unimportant."

9. At the beginning of school, my classmates shared their experiences with me as soon as they met, saying: Not doing summer homework was just a beating, but they were very happy during the whole holiday and it was worth it!

10. Someone caught a cold, and the daughter-in-law said: Take the medicine and go to sleep, and it will be fine when you wake up. I caught a cold, and my daughter-in-law said, Take some medicine and sweat before going to work.

1 1. To buy water, the boss said two yuan. I said the suggested retail price on the bottle is 1.5 yuan. The boss said, "I don't accept his suggestion!" " "

12. No matter what troubles or difficulties you encounter, please tell me as soon as possible, and I will praise you as soon as possible.

13. Selling cute things should also be divided into people. Only those who are good-looking can sell cute, and those who are ugly can only be called playing the fool.

14. Do you like animals? "Me: Of course." How much do you like it? "Me: I don't know, every meal!

15. Do you know why beautiful women have been unlucky since ancient times? Because no one cares how long an ugly person can live.

16. please remember one sentence: you must eat breakfast! Of course, it is not because you are unhealthy, but because it is the cheapest meal of your day!

17. We should keep quiet in class, after all, it is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

18. Do you know how important you are to me? If you fall into the river, the first thing I think of when I go home for dinner is to save you.

19. "I am a good-natured person. If someone steps on my bottom line one day. " "What would that be like?" Then I'll lower the bottom line again. "

20. The stories in fairy tales are all lies, and the troubles in reality are free.

2 1. I quarreled with my mother at night and said, "I won't eat!" " "Who knows mom is coming:" You can skip the meal, but you must brush the pot! "

22. Walking on the road with my husband, fighting, getting angry and calling names. When the first two men turned around, I pretended to be an innocent girl. Husband said, "Don't pretend, they didn't look at you, just to see which man is so timid."

23. If your friend is married and you attend the wedding, try to persuade him not to leave if you have a quarrel in the future, or you will have to pay two more money in the future.

24. Xueba: "I hope I can play normally and get into an ideal university!" Me: "I hope I can't play normally and get into an ideal university!" " "

25. Me: "I want a dragon." Santa Claus: "Can you be realistic?" Me: "I want to be alone." Santa Claus: "What color dragon do you want?"