Ask for 20 12 humorous short messages?

1. If you come to my house one day, I will definitely pull you to my room, put you on the bed, hide under the covers, turn off the lights, hold you tight, and then tell you quietly: Look at my watch, it is luminous.

2. Urgent reminder: There may be lightning recently. When you go out, please put your mobile phone on your head, plug in the charger and drag it behind you for lightning protection. Remember!

Yesterday, I dreamed that God said I could grant a wish. I took out my globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said, I want to make this person beautiful. He pondered and said, bring me the globe and let me have a look!

You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to the world to look for you, but I found you with great difficulty: damn, our wings are smooth!

The son walked up to his mother and said, I know everything. Mom took out twenty dollars and said, don't tell your father. The son walked up to his father and said, I know everything. Dad took out fifty dollars and said, don't tell your mother. The son went to his neighbor's uncle and said, I know everything. Uncle said with tears on his face, son, come and give dad a hug!

6. An old man in rags heard a couple quarreling upstairs, and soon he threw down a pillow. The old man was very happy. Soon he dropped a mattress and a quilt. The old man cried in tears: big brother, be kind and throw that woman down!

7. The priest played golf and missed the first shot. The priest scolded: Damn, he missed. A nun said, as a priest, God will punish you. The second shot missed again and scolded: Shit, it missed again. A thunderbolt hacked a nun to death, and God's old voice came from the sky: Damn, I missed it, too!

8. The elephant is taking a bath in the swimming pool. The ant ran angrily and said, Elephant, come up. The elephant came over and asked what was wrong. The ant said, it's okay. I can't find my swimming trunks. Let's see if you have worn them.

9. I looked at your sexy body that day, twisted naked in front of me and gently stroked your skin. I can't resist your temptation: boss, I want this fish!

10, big brother, stop touching it! You touched the top and the bottom, and your hair fell out. Such tender skin, you have touched all the water! How do you want me to sell it later? These peaches are all fresh, don't buy them!

Hey, hey, I had a hard time finding this for you. There is wood, there is wood.