Quotations of love humor jokes

What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman hits small monsters! I collected quotations from humorous jokes about love. Welcome to reading.

1. Male students stand on my left, female students stand on my right, and others stay where they are? As a result, he did not move.

Dear, for you, I will cross the ocean and jump into the abyss without hesitation, and I will overcome any difficulties! If it doesn't rain, I will find you on time on Sunday!

3. Love you for ten thousand years, exaggerating! Love you for five thousand years, hopeless! Love you for a thousand years, ridiculous! Love you for a hundred years, too long! Loving you for 70 years in a row is my strength!

4. A plum on the mountain, who do you love? I want to get along with you, no one can stop me! I turn yellow as soon as I go to bed. I'm so crazy. I will do it when it is yellow. I am so cool!

If the whole Yellow River is poured out, the flame of my love for you will go out. Can all the water in the Yellow River be poured out? No So I still love you.

6. The family is poor and ugly, with a primary school education, a rural hukou, a broken house with three thin acres of land, and his wife has a cold pot and a hot stove. Today, I want a girlfriend by text message all year round, and Revolutionary Road is holding hands. Dare to ask me if I want it!

7. Meimei I love you just like a mouse loves rice. When I am hungry, you are my bread. When I commit suicide, you are my fruit knife, my heart, my liver and three quarters of my life!

8. I prayed in front of the Buddha for 500 years, just to be a blooming little flower on your only way.

9. Seven to eight say:? Baby, let's get married! Just make up an idiom? Up and down? . ?

10. accounting professor: kissing is a kind of credit loan because it is profitable when it is repaid.

1 1. Positive response? Six eggs? Call. You can only look at your wife's face, kiss her face before going out and sleep next to her face. You must not call her when you are old? Change eggs? , wife scold? Asshole? , I am? Soft egg? .

12. Know what I'm doing? Give you five choices: A, miss you B, miss you C, miss you D, miss you E, all of the above.

13. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman hits small monsters!

14. When the ninth letter falls in love with the letter 2 1, will you accept me? (that is, when I fell in love with you)

15. Female:? It's over. I didn't expect Cupid to shoot me. ? Man:? What unit is Cupid in? Tell me and I'll teach him a lesson. Touch my woman.

16. I hate that I waited a long time to hear from you, and all I got was one sentence? Oh? Do you think I am telling a story or a joke?

17. Men in love like "all hands"; After marriage, men become "without hands and feet."

18. Whether you hate or love, I will leave you the warmest and most beautiful place in my heart. As long as you are knocking at the door, I will hold you in my arms, because I love you forever.

19. I miss you, thieves, sleeping with you, kisses, smiles, white rabbit hair and the faint smell of grass in your mouth?

20. A first-class man has a home outside his home; There are flowers outside the second-class men's house; Third-class men find a home in flowers; Fourth-class family members go home from work; The wife of a fifth-class man is not at home; A sixth-class man has no wife and no home.

2 1. Marry me, and I will flush your toilet with oil, bathe you with Pepsi, and take you to work with Boeing 777. Promise me?

22. An unmarried woman lamented: Why do all good men become husbands? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can learn by himself.

23. I am afraid of the weather, the earth and the teacher coming to my house. Sitting on my pier and drinking my tea, my mother beat me as soon as the teacher left.

Lovely you stole my love and my heart. I've decided to sue you in court. What should I sentence you to? The judge searched all criminal records and cases, and finally the jury unanimously passed: I sentence you to be mine for life.

Chairman Mao, the great leader, taught us that if we want to know the taste of pears, we must taste them ourselves. This is an absolute truth that is universally applicable. Want to know the taste of love? Let's have a taste together.

26. Men are semi-finished products 20, finished products 30, fine products 40, best products 50, top products 60, waste products 70 and souvenirs 80.

27. I really want to go with you for a lifetime, and * * * rushes into the five lakes and four continents; I really want to spend my life with you. I won't be alone. My heart cares for you, my tears flow for you, and you will always be mine.

28. Snowflakes are floating in the blue sky, and beautiful leather shoes leak their feet. Your acquaintance with me is a myth. Please call me back gently!

29. Are you the cup when I drink water? Kiss you; A pillow for sleeping? Love you. The stars in the sky are the eyes that shed tears when I miss you, and the waning moon is the heart that splits in two when I miss you!

30. I miss that you broke the telephone line, burned the mobile phone card, emptied your wallet and took all the sleeping pills. Alas! But I still want to see you.

3 1. You are my cotton-padded jacket in winter and ice cream in summer. You are the Apollo in my life. I am willing to pull a scooter and collect junk for you! I hope I can walk side by side with you, and Qianshan will definitely cross it one step at a time!

32. I am lonely without you. I'm disappointed not to see you. I am not qualified to say I love you. How much I miss you, a little too much! See you, touch hard? The south wind touches itself!

Kiss you sweetly, kiss you deeply, touch you gently and hug you warmly. Please remember that I love you.

34. Honey, please listen to me. For you, I can stay on the moon for nine days, but I can catch turtles in five oceans! ? Because: that? Month? Is that you? Turtle? You too!

35. I find you more and more beautiful. It turns out that our ancestors have long said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The ancestors also said: there are heroes in the eyes of scholars, and the hero in your eyes refers to me.

36. I exchanged my infatuation for your sincerity; I give my love to my bosom friend; Don't be careless with me, but stay with me forever.

37. Love is a brick and love is a mountain. There are not many bricks, just one piece, and the mountain is not high. Just keep it for a lifetime. Love is a poisoned wine. If you don't want to pour your life into it, don't drink it, because there is no antidote.

38. Five hundred years ago, you were a regular worker in our family. I fell in love with you the other day when I peeked at your posture of cutting vegetables in the window. Don't blame me for not telling you! Because there were no text messages at that time!

I was born to smile and touch my heart. I really chased you all my life. I'm worried that being chased by others will make me distracted from my work. I will always be the most sincere to you and never change my mind.

40. In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, you are so stupid. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. ?

4 1. Dear, you always say that I love to brag, so please listen to me. For you, I can stay on the moon for nine days, but I can catch turtles in five oceans! ? Because: that? Month? Is that you? Turtle? You too!

42. Time is a chain and happiness is a bead. String beads on a chain and hang them on your chest, and you can be happy all your life. Happiness is a stone, and trouble is sand. If you miss the sand with a sieve, the stone will accompany you all your life.

43. Miss me when you are lonely, come to me when you miss me, and bring fruits, oranges, bananas and apples when you see me. Oranges mean you love me, bananas mean you miss me, and apples mean you love me.

44. Weather forecast: I will miss you sometimes in the early morning and during the day, but I will become crazy in the afternoon, so my early mood will be reduced by five degrees. Affected by the continuous low pressure, it is predicted that such weather will continue to you.

45. After a farewell, the two places miss you for only three or four minutes, but five or six hours, with seven hearts and eight minds like carrying water, it is impossible to pass on the eight-part essay. There are many people in 1999, Shiliting. I love you!

Lovely you stole my love and my heart. I decided to go to court. What should I convict you of? After the judge searched all the records and cases, the jury unanimously passed: sentence you to accompany me for life!

47. The fish said to the water: You can't see my tears because I am in the water. Water said: I can feel your tears because you are in my heart.

48. A zero mark in the exam is called a duck egg, a bad person for doing bad things, an idiot for being empty-headed, a fuck-off for being fired, an asshole for swearing, and a fool for reading text messages.

49. I love you To me, you are bread in the morning, banana in the evening, garlic in Shandong and pepper in Sichuan.

50. I fell in love at first sight, said goodbye to infatuation, worried all the time, tried my best to win my heart, and tried my best to urge my heart. Don't you know my heart!

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