Funny and humorous copy

1. Doctor: Have you been eating at random recently? Patient: No! That is, I usually eat the leftovers of my children, my husband and my parents. Doctor: I suggest that you'd better keep a pig. Patient: What, do I have to eat the leftover pigs?

2. Ask the cleaner to clean the house, and the aunt should wear a shoe cover when entering the door. I quickly said: no, no, just step in! Aunt cleaning: No, I'm afraid I'll get my shoes dirty. ...

3. Woodpecker: dadada dadada ... Tree: I'm not sick, can you stop pecking? Woodpecker: Then take two steps. If you are not sick, take two steps ... Tree: Rolling. ...

4. My dad called and asked: Are you all right? I said: OK! What happened? He said: I received a text message saying that my son has been kidnapped and he wants to be at home.

Collect enough in three days.

Call 200 thousand or kill the ticket. I comforted my father and said, Dad, there is too much information about these scammers. You should ignore them in the future. When did you receive it? My dad:

20 days ago.

5. Go shopping today and ask the boss: How much is the crab? Boss:

15

8 yuan is a kilo. I said: it's too expensive, don't. The boss pointed to his hand and said, That crab just died.

18 yuan Jin. I said: How did you die? The boss gave me a look: no one bought it because it was too expensive. I was so angry. See, when you are angry, you are worthless, so be happy when you are alive! Cherish your body, take good care of yourself, smile more, and never be born again! )

6. When I was in primary school, my teacher asked me to write a composition about doing housework, repeatedly stressing that it should be true. On Monday, the teacher asked a classmate to read it. He read: I want to help my mother wash clothes when I get home. My mother said to go out to play. I said the teacher asked me to do it, and my mother said your teacher had so many things to do. ...

7. Self-study at night in high school. A beautiful classmate is writing on her desk in a wide-necked T-shirt. I saw our math teacher rushing over and tearing off the black line around her neck: no headphones to listen to songs during self-study! The beauty's face turned black: Teacher, that's a bra strap. ...

8. At the airport, there is one.

The eight-year-old boy held up a big sign and stared at the people coming out of the airport, anxiously waiting for the person he wanted to see. I saw several striking characters on the sign: Who is my uncle? I am your grandson!

Last night, my wife was holding her son, and I coaxed him to play with all kinds of toys. Suddenly I felt like farting, so I picked up my son's trumpet and blew it, and successfully completed the exhaust project under the cover of trumpet sound. I am proud to finish it perfectly. My wife frowned and said to me: You blow the horn, why does it smell like fart ... 10. When I was young, the children sat in a circle with the teacher in the middle. I fart quietly. It was quiet and smelly, but I still pretended to be calm. There is one next to it.

Idiot shouted: it stinks, who did it! I play cute with other children, which means I don't know what happened. this

This idiot has an idea of going against the sky. He wants to smell our little benches one by one.

That idiot was lying on the ground, smelling me, and he vomited ... 1 1. My buddy was on a business trip and fell asleep not long after taking off. After a while, the stewardess asked the guests what they needed. When the plane passed by this guy, it suddenly shook a few times, and the stewardess sat on his lap. At this time, my friend woke up and saw a beautiful woman in his arms, so it was easy to say:

12. Xiaoming's father rushed to the head teacher's office and asked, Teacher, you are in a hurry to call me. What did the child do wrong? The menopausal female teacher smashed Xiaoming's exercise book on the table and shouted, I'll let him use it, don't … don't … make sentences. Look what he wrote! "Dad picked up the exercise book and saw that it said: no itching, no smell, no abnormal leucorrhea.