A movie about an agent accidentally killing his girlfriend with a fruit knife?

When a person is drunk, he cannot stand or sit down, just for the "beach" and so on.

Everyone did not, and the body suddenly shot three times, shouting, saying: "Wallet! Key!! Cell phone! Provided! All in!" All cold!

That night, he repeated it every 10 minutes! ! ! ! Strong man!

Will have the nickname "×3 times later"

I danced a scary giant group dance in college where you need to drop quickly and raise your legs for violent action. We practiced They were all dead and covered in green for a few days, and some leg muscles were strained, and I was more seriously injured.

I went to class in the afternoon, but I couldn't lift my legs up to the third floor, that's all. It was hard to just straighten the legs and send. As I walked, I heard a girl behind her and her boyfriend, saying: "In regular schools in big cities, in our home, this polio cannot go to school." ”

I fainted...

The dormitory management department suddenly conducted a quarterly inspection to see if there were any illegal electrical appliances. I pity my two buddies who were afraid of burning the electric stove alone. Hiding in the mosquito net, another person was heating milk on the stove, boiling diamonds

At... he opened the door and turned on the light. Seeing that no one came to check, he tried to leave. Suddenly, a brother The net was hot, and all the terrible screams suddenly knocked over the cup...

The dormitory management teacher was startled, opened the mosquito net, Xiqiao: Two. A disheveled boy holds a large white sheet in his arms and keeps honking...

A cooler with a runny nose, but he forgot a handkerchief to keep the runny nose from being forced to inhale Nose. The Chinese teacher who wrote on the blackboard suddenly made a lot of noise: "Enough!" Stop it! It’s so noisy! "The class is quiet. The teacher said: "Who is eating noodles so loudly? ”

One is subject to the following four related words and sentences:

1. Sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed;

2. Sister Zhang Haidi studies tenaciously;

3. Sister Zhang Haidi has learned many foreign languages;

4. Sister Zhang Haidi has learned acupuncture.

The correct answer should be: Sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed. But she studied tenaciously and not only learned many foreign languages, but also learned acupuncture.

As a result, a child wrote: Sister Zhang Haidi learned acupuncture and many foreign languages ??tenaciously, and she became paralyzed. < /p>

I also found a more violent child who wrote: Sister Zhang Haidi not only learned a foreign language, but also learned acupuncture. She studied so tenaciously that she finally became paralyzed

One day in high school! A kind of person, born in 1981, very old...

That incident on his bus:

My buddy in my sophomore year took the bus to school, Because the road was long, when he was bored, a 35-year-old man sitting next to him spoke to him. The man opened his mouth and said: "Brother, where are you?"

This person usually encounters such treatment. Is he very surprised? He calmly replied: "Three". The second sentence of the article: "Oh, look at the children, right? It's very painful for children to go to school..."

The man's face twitched and he didn't say anything.

The third sentence: "Brother, how many decades old is your child?" That guy is really annoying. Without explanation, it is difficult to say: ""

This time, a classic. The person looked at the man with wide eyes in surprise, and it took him 10 seconds to say: "Brother, your marriage is already very late!"

I remember when I was in high school, you I saw a nice guy buying cakes outside school. You know, in high school, I used my brain too much and was often hungry. I immediately ran and hit him hard, then grabbed his cake and gnawed on one of his cakes while cursing. To say that real emotions are enough to buy bread, don’t take the result that I bought a cake that I couldn’t swallow. When I looked up, I saw that I just found the wrong person. There is no problem. In fact, I was on the side and said I was sorry. I took a bite of the pie and put it into the man's hand and ran the whole process in one go! ! !

I remember, and then ran back to the school gate, looking back, this young man was in a daze, hand pie in front of the stall.

I can't help it but think this one hammers his future now and then! ! ! !

In my freshman year, I went to the cafeteria and made a mistake on the bun-packing machine. Who knew the lottery card was down by 150? The brother who sold buns tinkered with it for a long time and could not put it back. He said pitifully: "It's okay< /p>

Come often in the future, I will remember you until your money and more shows "I have no choice but to agree.

Poor, I ate steamed buns from one meal to the next, and my brother still owes me 2 3... The most annoying thing is that after four years of college, I didn't even find a girlfriend. ! ! !

Until the day of graduation, I was walking on the campus avenue and heard a group of girls from behind pointing and whispering: "Yes, that's him! I won't be able to find a boyfriend like this in the future. He will go to the cafeteria every day." Bun money! ”

A girl in our class put a packet of milk on the radiator when it was not very cold in winter.

2008-12-19 16:05 Reply

60.4.40. * 2

During the fast class in the future seat heating, a boy shouted: "***, briefly introduce milk.

The whole class was scrolling, and there was no school in the class. In the morning.

Not long ago, a friend gave me a puppy from Beijing named Lele. This puppy is all white and has special hygiene. It urinates everywhere and is pushed in every time when not at home. "Bark" called two, and then asked him to prepare a tray for me in the bathroom, which saved a lot of trouble; on Sunday morning, I took Lele with me, and I went to the bank, in the bank's business hall, and just picked up My own money, "Wow..." Lele suddenly cried at me. I know this is not our house again, but we must abide by social ethics and quickly take out what we just bought. The newspaper was conveniently placed on the newsstand. Lele got what he wanted and enjoyed everything. After that, I carefully wrapped the pile of waste in the newspaper in one hand and went out with Lele in the other hand. Throw it in the trash can on the street. Just as I walked to the side of the road, I heard a "squeak" sound, and a motorcycle braked and stopped next to me. At that moment, I was in a daze, sitting in the back seat wearing sunglasses. The young man grabbed my toilet paper bag, and with the strong roar of the motor, the motorcycle sped away. I stood on the side of the road half awake and vaguely heard a few passers-by who had just witnessed this scene. Whispering: "This guy is really unlucky. The people who just walked out of the bank went to rob... tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands, right?"

Guo Degang: "Hey, dad, look at me", "Guo Degang?", "The old man is fine, don't take the heart, recite the meaning of the hard disk, you can live more than one hundred." ""I make stuff for you, I get stuff for you, "I want miss?" "Whoa, damn, you know", "I want to extract little hands?".

A man and a woman were having dinner

The guy and the girl kept asking: Do you love me?

The girl and the boy asked about a dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked: Do you love me?

The boy finally said: love

The girl asked: "What do you want to prove?

Suddenly, the boy took 30 yuan from his pocket

Ask the girl: You don’t have ten yuan?

The girl gave the boy a hundred thousand yuan...

The boy put 40 on the table

After a while...

The girl asked the boy very angry: Do you want to prove that you love me?

The boy said: I have already proved it! !

Walking around the snack street for a day

I found a shop selling egg tarts

Everyone looks delicious, I want to buy one to try

I asked the clerk: Is this for sale?

Clerk: No, this is from Japan.

Once a friend of mine took a taxi home from the station, he asked the driver: " How much does it cost in ×× town? "

Driver: "150. "My friend asked: "Can you leave? ”

I didn’t expect the driver’s extreme attitude: “What kind of car would you take if you don’t have money?” roll! ”

(Tell me what I would change for you, what would you do no matter what?)

My friend walked away silently.

A few days later, my friend saw many drivers and other drivers waiting at the station.

My friend came and asked the driver: "How much does it cost in ×× town?"

Driver: "150." My friend asked: "Can we go for 200?" Driver : "Go, of course!"

My friend said: "But when you get halfway, you must put the sock in your mouth."

Driver: "You I'm sick. I'll make you 50 yuan. Damn it!"

My friend found another one next to him: "How much does it cost in ××town?"

Driver: "150." My friend asked: "200 can we go?" Driver: "Go, of course!"

My friend said: "But when you get halfway, you have to Put the sock in your mouth."

Driver: "You made a mistake, I'll make you 50 yuan, it's my fault."

That's it! As soon as my friend arrived, he asked all the other drivers again. Except for the final insult, the driver knew my friend Ken was 200××town, but midway the driver stuffed the sock into his mouth.

Finally, my friend came and insulted his driver: "How much does it cost in ×× town?"

The driver: "150." My friend asked: "Can we get away with 200? ?" Driver: "Go, of course!"

My friend said, "But when it started everyone shouted, 'I'm 200 town ××'"

The driver. : "What is this?"

Then I heard shouting: "I'm going to town ×× for 200---

On this day, lame and blind people will drive The car went out. The blind man looked at the road, and the lame man suddenly found a deep ditch in front of him and shouted: ditch, ditch, ditch! The blind man sang back: The two have fallen into a ditch!

< p>I live in the dormitory of the school. Every night after self-study, I can always see men and women on campus together. I am very envious!

More envious men often visit girls! Dormitory (older and younger).

He said that he was invited to the girls’ dormitory. One day after class, he didn’t want to go to eat and chat. Soon after, he went downstairs around 10 o’clock and heard the gatekeeper downstairs. The aunt shouted:

“One hour, it’s too late! Girl, see you off! ! ”

Considering calling my mother, the leader came, so he said: Mom, the materials have been found for you!!! -!

The money was in my hand, and then it was kneaded into one She felt very uncomfortable and threw the group

Then she went to a good friend's house with unlimited doubts about his IQ, chatted with her father, who was called "aunt", and her mother, who was called "aunt", was embarrassed "Uncle" mouth...

I went swimming yesterday, opened the suitcase, pressed the buttons inside, and then closed the trunk... I wore three o'clock and waited for an hour and a half in the wild.

Once cooking is done, pour the rice directly into the rice cooker without putting the inner pot...after the wind blows....

It happened at noon, and Shame, I planned to ask the restaurant downstairs to deliver a bowl of instant noodles at noon. I didn’t know what kind of mobile phone it was, so I just said: “Sorry, please send me a bowl of noodles.” I heard a voice behind me that seemed to be my mother’s: “My daughter! You eat noodles for lunch! "My mother felt a little inexplicable at first, feet, he smiled? Blushed, sorry, I was shocked. ?

The first day was a call from the manager (female). A way out “Mom, someone wants to answer the phone for you.

”

Once a good friend got married, the day before her home, she took a photo of me. I didn’t see her photo from the camera. When I went back, I forgot one thing, drinking wedding wine. The next day, when she took out her camera and said to me, look, you took some photos, the photos I found, especially the photos I submitted, did I have the heart to react, and unconsciously shouted that people had seen it? A girl liked my reaction very much and felt very stupid. How could she know her own photo? The second was the worst, a van that passed quickly on a bicycle and just opened the door? I opened the solid door, poor?

The concept of honor and disgrace, I don’t know how serious my feet are. I was wearing socks and almost took off my pants...

From the seat on the podium, a classmate’s feet stretched into the aisle , just about to say "let it go", I blurted out, "Thank you" -_-#

Once in the Photoshop lesson, I texted the very brave teacher on her boyfriend's side and shouted: "My husband Not even on my computer! "Five seconds later, there was a quiet moment in the unpleasant class, everyone was laughing, the teacher was a little over 50 years old, pushing up his glasses and staring at me sweating!

Call him The girlfriend's house, then her father, said: "Hello? I insisted on resisting her father's voice and replied: "Auntie, am I here?" "It's a miracle that her dad can agree to join us!

I threw out the garbage in the morning, and it went very smoothly. I took the bus and drove to the company for an hour alive. When I got off the car, I found that the garbage bag was still in my hand. I spent about half the city and ended up throwing it into the office trash

Going home after a late night party at the end of the day, I didn’t know that in the elevator along the way, ah, ah, for a long time my house began to feel Is the sweating floor a problem because there is no elevator? Anyone, I suddenly realized that I didn’t click on the floor, the elevator, and kept shouting for help. No one left me. At the same time, a scene suddenly flashed in the ghost movie and I felt a chill standing on my head. I need to call BF and ask him to come and save me. There is no movement on the first floor...

With the school meal card, ICBC staff withdrew money. Others saw it was neatly lost, so I stuffed it back. He shouted loudly that I wanted to withdraw money. He quickly threw out the lazy card and it was wrong. I took it back and took the China Construction Bank card from my wallet and handed it to him...

Buying hot dry noodles, the one in front A couple bought it, and the boss asked them not to put coriander. The man didn't say it, and the woman didn't say it. Why did the man want coriander and the woman didn't want coriander... "Thinking about it, the boss asked me what to eat. I think in the future I will reply loudly without hesitation: "cilantro!! A boss + the couple next to me looked at me doubtfully!

Home page newly bought microwave oven, very excited to use it I did the right thing when cooking the fish. After adjusting the heat for 15 minutes, I excitedly opened the microwave, but there was nothing. The fish was on the table. When I pressed the operation again, I found that the fish on the table still hadn't opened the microwave. Therefore, I decided to fish for a week longer

Once I bought a fruit knife, I looked at the knife in my hand, and then, finding something, I tried to buy a knife, a knife. The quick attack made me short-circuit his finger-sized knife, and blood spurted out! `` `` `` `` `` `` I was also stunned and said happily: "Ah, quick", I can't buy it for money, Give me this knife `` `` `` Turn around `` `` `` The excruciating pain,

I forgot what grade I was in elementary school. One time I didn't study seriously, and the top of the scissors and ballpoint pen refill cut into the pen. The oil in the core was blown out to play with, and then the oil discharge nozzle was blown away

The coal burning in the small house, my mother cooked rice in the kitchen, I got a small shovel and a shovel of coal, and the coal suddenly The rice that fell into the open container... ※×(

I was eating with a group of friends in college, thinking about the exam in the afternoon, and eating as usual. I took out a tissue from my bag to wipe my mouth. I wiped it unconsciously for a long time. Suddenly I found that no one of my friends said anything and looked at me. Before that, I found my own holding to wipe my mouth, a sanitary napkin! Friends, there are men and women too! I really don't want to live anymore! The extremely thin silk everyday is incomprehensible and I am also demolishing the pink packaging outside!

I had a morning breakfast (bread and porridge) while watching it News. It just aired around us like an accident.

I saw a particularly serious person who put down the remote control smoothly and picked it up to chew. I also chewed off the remote control cap and chewed it crazily for a long time. I almost vomited it out and was so depressed that I couldn't watch it. I never understood, it was me who bit it off =

Another time, during travel time, I went with his girlfriend. Beautiful scenery with special people. I easily pulled my girlfriend's hand and said, "Honey, tighten my hand." Then, I felt my girlfriend's hand loosen directly. I thought she was embarrassed and tightened it immediately. Later, when she didn't go, I looked back. Only one person was found. The next woman was looking at me strangely. I was so frightened that I sweated all over, laughed a few times, blushed and fell down, feeling extremely depressed. `` ```

After I took a breath and was about to leave, while drinking water, the treadmill did not stop the end button, so I slipped a glass of water and spilled the coach. People don't like her, and the negative examples haven't stopped. I’m so ashamed @ @

Another time, I went up to the third floor, entered the elevator, and kept pressing the 3 button to find out why it didn’t light up. Another time it was a colleague. My colleagues on the day were controlling the air conditioner remotely while asking me to give her a glass of water. The combination made the scene I saw very strange: I saw her holding the remote control and I just pressed it and said: "Help me." Got a glass of water! I swear again? No angle error, air conditioner in the opposite direction

Buy clothes, go to the fitting room to try on clothes, take off his shirt, close the bra and put on the clothes. I find it strange that I only see it reflected in future bras? Sweat?