Joke Collection Website - Blessing messages - Allegro in Shaanxi dialect

Allegro in Shaanxi dialect

Allegro Wandering in Baoji Dialect, Shaanxi Province]

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White water:

Film Manager Quits Smoking (Allegro in Baoji Dialect)

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Cough, cough, cough-

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We are ordinary tax collectors,

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Fighting in the front line of taxation all the year round.

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For enterprises, for markets,

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Run to the countryside, go down to the mine,

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Gathering wealth for the country is not idle.

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Don't look at our external image. It's hard to say,

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Big head, big neck, thick waist, short legs,

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Wearing uniforms and national emblems, we are also very capable.

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I'm neither greedy nor lazy,

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People are diligent and their brains are getting better.

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Learn computer, use abacus,

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Let's remember the tax policy thoroughly,

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We are the walking dictionary of the bureau,

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We are always among the best in business exams.

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We can always pass the exam at the end of the year.

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The leader said that we have a future to cultivate,

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This practice is twenty or thirty years.

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There are 80 or 90 posts in the tax bureau.

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We don't count as doorkeepers, cooks and cleans,

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I did all the inspection, collection and invoice collection.

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So far, we are still in the training stage.

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As the saying goes, iron yamen and flowing officials,

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Bureau leaders, you come and I change one crop after another,

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Section chief, section chief, deputy section chief, section chief,

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This has nothing to do with us.

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Alas, these years, so many days,

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Our life outside is so hard,

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Although life doesn't have to be an official,

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But it's really disgraceful.

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Up to now, my hair is white and my legs are in circles.

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Shojaei became an old man,

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I am also a small tax film manager.

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Cough, cough, cough-

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Listen to me, comrades,

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It's not that there's something wrong with our minds,

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It's not that we are a little lacking in ability;

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It's not that our attitude is wrong,

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It is not our director who is narrow-minded.

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Just because I'm blind,

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Destroy your future.

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Listen to me, comrades,

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Don't frown or roll your eyes when you encounter problems.

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Let's not count nine flowers,

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Digging a hole to play mahjong is unprofessional;

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Want to suck white flour and have no spare money,

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I don't have the guts to take a mistress;

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Party spirit education depends on decades,

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Eat-take-card-want-borrow-report-

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There's nothing we can do about it.

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I have no hobbies,

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The only hobby is smoking.

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Cough, cough, cough-

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I'm forty-three this year,

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Smoking is like eating,

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Even without food, I dare not smoke.

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Why are we so addicted to cigarettes?

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We smoke at home,

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My family smokes for three generations;

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My grandfather was born in the old society,

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Smoking heavy cigarettes was very popular at that time.

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A cigarette soaks a bucket of wheat,

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A stone of wheat can be drawn in a few days;

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Three or five years like this,

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Dozens of acres of fertile land have been sold out,

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Only half of dozens of houses are left.

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In this way, a rich man became poor a few years later.

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I have to work for a man who is carrying a part-time beggar.

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Until 1949,

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Want to smoke cigarettes, no financial resources, no foundation.

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When the composition of land reclamation is determined to be rich,

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My grandfather became a poor and middle peasant and returned to his field.

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You brag about your foresight when you meet people.

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My father grew up before liberation,

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I have smoked dry since I was a child.

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That tobacco bag is like a broken bag,

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Tobacco leaves can hold two and a half Jin;

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A foot-long tobacco rod,

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The ashtray looks like a broken bowl.

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Smoking pot will not leave your mouth all day,

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I have to put a whole pack of cigarettes on the bed.

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My mother was trembling with anger,

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Almost took me to learn three moves of Meng Mu.

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I've been smoking my dad's secondhand smoke since I was a kid,

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Can you not smoke in such an environment?

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In elementary school, we smoked secretly,

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Middle school tears textbooks, rolls of paper and cigarettes,

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Sometimes when you pick up an egg in the henhouse,

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Take it to the cigarette agency.

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Once I smoked without a lighter,

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It makes people anxious.

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I had to make a fire in front of my dad,

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Angry, my dad said I was a lead pot.

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Cough, cough, cough-

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Say smoking, say smoking,

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Smoking knowledge is really shallow.

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Let me talk about the benefits of smoking first.

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Make sure you want to smoke, too

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Smoking in the morning can refresh your mind,

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Smoking before meals stimulates appetite and strengthens the spleen.

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Smoking after meals helps digestion and prevents food from piling up.

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Smoking in the toilet is a deodorant and laxative.

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Thinking about smoking, thinking clearly, generating inspiration,

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Smoking before going to bed can dream of immortals.

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Smoking in spring can prevent pollen allergy,

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Mosquitoes who smoke in summer stay away,

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Smoking in autumn can clear the trachea,

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Smoking is cold and warm in winter.

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It is said that smoking can also lose weight.

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It is said that smoking can prevent SARS.

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It is said that Lin Biao doesn't drink or smoke.

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Lived sixty-three years;

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It is said that Enlai only drinks and doesn't smoke.

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Lived seventy-three years;

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It is said that Zedong doesn't drink or smoke.

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Lived eighty-three in his life;

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It is said that Xiaoping drinks and smokes.

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Lived for 93 years;

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It is said that learning to be good is full of five poisons.

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I lived to be 103 years old.

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Smoking is also a way of communication.

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Send a cigarette when you meet your superiors,

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Leadership is pleasing to the eye;

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Send a cigarette when you meet a colleague,

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Vote for us at the end of the year and circle it.

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Taxpayers smoke. If we don't smoke,

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People say that we loose people are a little arrogant,

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We also need to put forward our opinions on the review of professional ethics.

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From our tax point of view,

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Smoking is closely related to taxation.

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Let's talk about the tax rate of tobacco first.

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VAT 17% and 13.

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The consumption tax is endless,

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30% must be cut tobacco,

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40% are cigars and class B cigarettes,

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45% are Class A cigarettes,

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Tobacco is the main tax,

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Contribute to the wealth gathering of the country.

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Thanks to national taxes,

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Smoking is also a kind of dedication.

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How can I quit smoking?

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Cough, cough, cough-

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Say smoking, say smoking,

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I have a job and money,

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Most of it is used to buy cigarettes.

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We can't afford a good Chinese cat,

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Three or five boxes of 84 monkey cigarettes a day.

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The throat and eyes are inflamed by smoking,

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Blue lips and dry eyes,

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I can't hear you when I bend over,

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Cough and spit all day,

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Smoke like a stink bomb,

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Female colleagues have seen us from a distance.

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Colleagues in the same department can't escape,

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Turn on the ventilator in winter.

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Keep smoking my second-hand smoke,

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Female colleagues have a pockmarked face,

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Male colleagues are more addicted to cigarettes than I am.

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I started yawning as soon as I quit smoking.

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Clear your nose and tears.

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Instead of passive smoking,

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Might as well take the initiative to smoke.

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Colleagues discovered this,

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Let's smoke together

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The office became a smoking training class,

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We became volunteer smoking coaches.

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So that no one dares to sit opposite us,

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The leader had to transfer us to a single room.

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Except for the absence of reporters,

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We are not far from the director's treatment.

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Hehe, this treatment belongs to smoking.

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Cough, cough, cough-

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One year, one day,

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During the reporting period, there was a shortage of manpower,

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The bureau asked me to cover for it.

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Enterprises consciously pay taxes,

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The hall was crowded with people.

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All men are handsome,

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All women are like fairies.

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As soon as we appeared in the window,

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Just like the hornet's nest stabbed the bamboo pole:

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Men and women, old people and young people, you grab me and push me out,

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It seems that we have SARS and bird flu.

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It's like we're gangsters pretending to be taxpayers,

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It's like we're bin Laden's terrorists,

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We seem to have dropped a gas bomb in the registration hall.

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At first, the window was crowded,

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This time, I grabbed the door and ran away.

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Look, it's all about smoking,

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Pulling a good man into a weird eyebrow eye,

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Don't pretend to be a bad guy. Be a bad person.

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Cough, cough, cough-

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That year, that day,

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The leader asked me to check a report,

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The host is a female boss.

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He forgot my bad habit of smoking,

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Just pour tea, not smoke,

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The female boss is not too old,

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Looking at it, I think it's a fairy.

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Those big eyes twinkle at the sight of people,

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That little mouth is sweeter than honey,

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He said I had a great personality and was a handsome man.

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You can be a movie actor without makeup.

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Chow Yun Fat and Andy Lau are under me,

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Can be Jackie Chan's stuntman,

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You can make an action movie for Jet Li.

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Make me happy, miss,

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I can't help feeling better.

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If you have a good impression, you have to look at the account.

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Public affairs dare not be sloppy.

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Although my external image is a little short,

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Our professional ability is still top-notch.

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I took out my account and looked at it.

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Fake invoices are piling up,

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Conceal hundreds of thousands of income.

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The opening time is only half a year.

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Tax evasion 33 thousand

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I called the female boss on the spot:

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"You are too bold a woman,

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Don't you dare touch the national tax! "

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The female boss saw us expose the problem,

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Immediately ran to the smiling face:

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"Eldest brother, as long as you change my yard for a quarter,

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Help my sister through this difficulty,

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We'll do whatever you say! "

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Like the woman said, she stuck it on me.

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The chest vibrates like a chicken peak,

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Perfume makes my mouth thirsty and I can't stop spraying.

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As soon as I saw this guy trying to please us,

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The table was blacked out as soon as it was struck:

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"Don't give me that,

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National tax is a high-voltage line,

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Whoever touches it is finished,

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Only by paying taxes and fines,

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That's your way out. The weather is sunny! "

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In a word, the boss frowned into a ball,

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The boss's face is cold and sweaty

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It feels so good at this moment,

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Just as Dong Cunrui held high explosives,

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Like Liu Hulan in front of the hay cutter,

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Huang Like Ji Guang was shot in the chest,

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Like Xu Yunfeng execution ground station, Jiang Jie,

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Just as Li Yuhe faced Hatoyama,

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Don't watch us bend our legs and turn around,

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At this moment, we are also just.

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Never let her see us on the plaque,

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Don't embarrass the national tax man.

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Hehe, have a victory cigarette first.

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Calculate late fees and fines for her.

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I want to smoke at the thought of cigarettes.

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When I touched my pocket, I found that,

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No fire, no cigarettes,

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Addiction suddenly came up:

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Pale face, trembling hands,

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Look at the stars, look at the stars,

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The numbers on the ledger are like ants drilling straight into their hearts.

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My calf feels like muscle.

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Smoking makes me uncomfortable,

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Yawn.

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It doesn't matter if we are addicted to cigarettes,

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Scared aside the female boss:

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"Comrade, I pay taxes, I pay taxes,

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You shouldn't make a fuss,

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Don't shut down your brain,

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Your heart must never cut off the road,

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Don't kick them here with me ... "

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(white) cough ... cough ... cough ...

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Smoke ... smoke ... smoke. ...

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The boss realized that I wanted to smoke,

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Roll your eyes,

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With a spring breeze smile on his face,

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Please ask the accountant to bring us cigarettes at once.

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Alas! That time, that day,

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I received two cigarettes for the first time,

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Aside from party discipline and state law,

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I want to smooth the wall with mud,

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Who knows, two days later,

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The supervision office talked to me,

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For a year and a half,

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My life is planted on cigarettes!

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Cough, cough, cough,

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Guys, listen, look,

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The harm of smoking is infinite,

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Today, I will talk about my experience.

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I advise you not to smoke any more,

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Love your job, do your job well,

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Set an example for the country to accumulate wealth,

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Be a good film controller, film controller!

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Baishui May 22, 2007

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At the foot of Shigu Mountain

Yu Linglong:

hahahaha ...

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Interesting, interesting! -The tax network saw the original Allegro book for the first time:) If some sentences are refined, they will perform well on the stage:)

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Recommended!

Yan Lin:

Ok, ok, ok.

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I collected it first.

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Playing bamboo board and saying Allegro.

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Look from top to bottom.

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Remember a few good sentences.

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Come and perform when you are free.

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perform

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Although borrowing your brother's intellectual property rights

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But you can't expect me to pay you a penny.

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Of course, don't try to give me a cigarette.

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Because my family is strictly controlled.

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I gave up smoking a long time ago.

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Please don't smoke:)

Yu Linglong:

hahahaha ...

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Last year in Xi 'an, it happened that a friend who spoke Shaanxi dialect called and asked: Where is the mud?

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I had been listening to Shaanxi dialect, and I easily replied: I was stuck in the west.

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He was startled: What is the bottom of the fan?

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..... I don't know how to pronounce Xi 'an in Shaanxi dialect, so I just stood there for a while.

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After he knew it, he smiled and taught me: I should say: developing:)

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Haha laugh ... it may be misspelled:) During the Chinese New Year, a friend of Xi 'an sent me a short message in Shaanxi dialect, which was very standard. Unfortunately, I can't remember clearly:)

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