A collection of compositions for college entrance examination O points. Who has it?

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Content introduction:

Hilarious college entrance examination essay: Don’t laugh, I got a zero score in the college entrance examination. It made the marking teacher furious and made the education experts speechless. It makes parents all over the world laugh and cry. It makes all the netizens burst into laughter and vomit blood. The most outrageous, funny, absurd and genius essay about zero points in the college entrance examination in the history of education. Definitely challenge the limits of your imagination!

Section 1: Preface Why do we need to write zero-mark essays

Preface

Why do we need to write zero-mark essays?

Starting from the perfect score essay "The Death of Red Rabbit" in 2001, college entrance examination essays have received great attention and caused heated debates every year. While everyone pays attention to the full score composition, they are also curious about the "zero score composition". We can make an analogy. The college entrance examination is like a lively Spring Festival Gala. The full score essay is used to promote the main theme, like Zhang Ye's "Into the New Era"; while the zero score essay is just to entertain the public, like Xiao Shenyang's "Little Shenyang" The sketch "Not Short of Money".

When it comes to "zero-score composition", we need to talk about it. Whether it is a zero-score essay circulating on the Internet or reported by the media; whether it is a copycat version of a zero-score essay or a real zero-score essay, it has evolved from criticizing exam-oriented education to a prank. However, looking at the zero-point composition that started in 2002 and ended in 2009, it also reflects some of the problems existing in current Chinese education and the lack of traditional cultural education. Many students are stunned and their imagination is stifled before writing propositions. Many students are even mercilessly overwhelmed by powerful propositions. As a result, countless students began to follow the proposition and write some hypocritical words that were insincere and false, big, and empty, but the real purpose of testing their composition ability was ignored.

From the zero-score essays that have been circulated over the years, we can see that zero-score essays are mainly divided into the following three categories: First, the cynical type, which uses fierce words to express opinions on various phenomena in society. dissatisfaction; the second is the cynical and prank type, which makes fun of society and the college entrance examination, and makes fun of the "serious" college entrance examination activities in the fearless spirit of entertainment first; the third is the challenge type of college entrance examination, this type of composition expresses the concern for the college entrance examination Extreme opposition and resistance, even boredom. No matter which of the above types of zero-score essays it is, it generally reflects that today's students have shown an attitude of escape and resistance due to the great fierce competition and study pressure in society. On the other hand, it reflects the imperfection of my country’s college entrance examination system, which ignores the essence of the examination to a certain extent.

Some people say, "The netizens who concocted the '0-point essay' ignore the serious elite cultural form of the college entrance examination essay, and at the same time engage in entertainment by simulating the mainstream, which just shows that the mainstream cultural symbol of the college entrance examination is in The powerful discourse ability of contemporary China. "I really disagree with this argument. There is no doubt that the college entrance examination was serious before, but it is no longer "serious". In addition, the college entrance examination is not an "elite culture", because the word "elite" has nothing to do with the college entrance examination. Let's take a look at whether the 2009 college entrance examination essay questions are very "serious". Can this kind of essay question identify who is the "elite"?

Section 2: 2009? National Volume (1)

2009? National Volume

Read the following materials and write an essay of no less than 800 words as required word article.

The rabbit is the sprint champion of all previous small animal games, but it can't swim. Once, the rabbit was chased to the river by the wolf and was almost caught. For the all-round development of small animals, the Animal Management Bureau sends little rabbits to swimming training classes. There are also puppies, turtles and squirrels in the same class. The puppies and turtles learned to swim and gained another skill, and they were very happy; the rabbits and squirrels took a long time to learn how to swim and were very distressed. The coach of the training class, Wild Duck, said: "I can swim on two legs, but you can't swim on four legs? 90% of success comes from sweat. Come on! Xiaxia!"

Critic Frog sighed: " What rabbits are good at is running! Why only train for weaknesses without developing special skills? "

Thinker Crane said: "Survival requires more than one skill! Rabbits can't learn to swim, and squirrels can't learn to burrow. If you want to swim, learn to climb trees.

"

Requirements: Choose the right angle, clarify the idea, choose your own style, and make your own title: do not compose outside the scope of the content and meaning of the material, do not copy or plagiarize.

Wild Duck There is also spring

The wild ducks have no jobs due to the recent rectification of illegal river crossings. The mother duck and the little duck said that they have become rich after watching Pleasant Goat on TV. Our family is so poor and cannot find a job due to the recent economic crisis. He didn't want to think of a way.

The wild duck was very distressed. He thought that he had no ability and could not make a fortune. He bought lottery tickets every day and didn't win. What should he do? --It was very miserable. Suddenly, the neighbor critic Frog and Thinker Crane came over and asked: "Who cooked the wild duck?" "The duck told his story with tears and snot. The frog and the crane laughed and comforted the duck and said: "It's a small matter, we help you plan it, but if you make money, we will get a third of it. "The duck heard what they said, and everyone laughed weirdly together.

The rabbit is a superstar and sprint champion in the animal sports world, and he is very proud. One day, the rabbit was walking by the river, and out of thin air he The wolf suddenly attacked the rabbit, and the rabbit ran, ran, and ran to the river. He was desperate. The wolf said that he was going to hurt the rabbit. Suddenly, a duck appeared in the river. The duck said: "The embodiment of justice, the perfect wild duck." , Chirp--Chirp--Chirp--" The rabbit was knocked down by the thunder, and the wolf said: "You can't swim, so I will kill you!" "The wild duck said: "I will carry you across the river, hurry! "As he said that, he carried the rabbit across the river. Suddenly, the paparazzi ran over, flashing lights, and the wolf was nowhere to be seen.

The next day, the newspaper headlines "Great Duck - Wild Duck!", "The Wild Duck Saves the Sprint Champion", "Is the Rabbit a "High-Scoring Incompetent"", "The Animal Sports Bureau Wants to Reform the Talent Selection System", etc. Leopard, the director of the Animal Sports Bureau, was very unhappy when he saw the newspaper. Suddenly someone knocked on the door and said, "Oh! Lao Qing, Lao He, you are here! "--The frog and the crane came to the leopard. They asked: "Old leopard, what's on your mind? "

"Hey, to tell you the truth, this rabbit--"

"Haha, that's why we came here, let me give you an idea..."

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On the third day, Director Leopard, wild ducks, rabbits, frogs, and cranes went to the Sports Bureau to hold the establishment ceremony of the Animal Second Skills Training Center. Director Leopard served as the director, and surprisingly, Wild Duck served as the deputy director at the same time. , awarded the bravery reward to the wild duck. At the same time, under the camera of the TV station, Director Leopard said happily: "We established this center in time for the sake of the overall quality and survival ability of the animals. At the same time, Introduce market-oriented operations. "

The rabbit was very grateful to the wild duck and learned to swim seriously, but he just couldn't learn it. Many animals heard that the champion rabbit and other animal sports stars were coming. The cost is really not cheap, the annual fee per person is 19,999 Yuan, it was at a discount, and it was impossible to register 1,000 animals in just three days. Rabbit had never seen so much money in his life, so the things mentioned in the title happened. < /p>

Section 3: 2009? National Volume (2)

The wild duck was very grateful to the frog and the crane. The crane said, "Don't thank us, the mole can dig holes and the tree can climb." The monkey is still waiting for my plan." The frog said, "Also, don't forget the labor fees of the wolf and the paparazzi." The wild duck nodded knowingly. Accompanied by the melody of "Wild Ducks Also Have Spring", the wild duck and leopard talked again The next expansion plan.

Comments: The content is vulgar, promotes money worship and unhealthy trends, poisons the minds of young children, and is not in line with the current purpose of ideological education and the construction of a harmonious society. 12 years of study have been wasted! If I give you points, I won’t be a teacher!

Rabbit, you are a stupid rabbit

Ah, Rabbit, after reading this report, I can’t help but give you a big word from the bottom of my heart: Silly!

You don’t even think about it, what does a zoo do? Manage animals! Are wolves animals? You were almost eaten by him, why didn't you fart at the zoo? Why not punish the wolf but force the rabbit to learn how to swim? If the judiciary usually upholds justice, why would there be a wolf chasing a rabbit in a zoo? Lion Justice belongs to the Zoo, Silly Rabbit!

If the wolf chases you to the river, the zoo will trick you into signing up for a swimming class. The next time the wolf chases you to the cliff, will he also trick you into signing up for a flying class? Could it be that the wolf is chasing you just to scare you into enrolling in this class or that class? What is the relationship between wolves and zoos? Do you have any brains? Silly rabbit!

I say you are stupid, but you are still stupid. Do you know who runs this training class? The zoo is open! Coach Duck is the brother-in-law of the tortoise principal! You also pay them training fees. And "90% of the sweat, come on! Gaga!" Bah! He is a duck, and you are also a duck? Don't you think about it, your family has never been able to swim since your grandfather's generation, but he can teach you how to swim in just a few days of classes at the zoo? Is this consistent with rabbit sentiment? Didn’t your training fees go to waste? There are also Brazilian tortoises and golden retrievers. You are even more stupid. You are born to know how to swim. Why are you spending so much money just to get a certificate? Can he not let you swim without a certificate? If you have a certificate, the wolf won't dare to eat you? Speaking of which, I have to talk about you, Golden Retriever. You are also a famous dog after all. When faced with bad guys, you just know how to run away, and you spend money to learn how to be a drowned dog. Aren't you ashamed?

Faced with the infringement of criminals, why does the zoo not encourage you to unite and resist, but to learn how to escape? Facing the threat of wolves, now it is not a matter of learning to swim, nor a matter of versatile and comprehensive development, but a matter of right and wrong of survival! Why learn to swim when your life is gone? A vegetarian meal with corpses, I don’t think there is any need for this zoo to exist! Administrative inaction is associating with the wolf, silly rabbit!

Rabbit, I’m scolding you because you don’t live up to your expectations. Can you have some sense of independence? What others say is what others say. The duck said, "I can swim on two legs, but you can't swim on four legs?" Is that a human saying? According to this, the centipede swims the fastest. "90% of success comes from sweat", bah! Is it considered successful for him to be a duck? The best duck in the world? Just follow him, silly rabbit!

And those two experts, these elites will become trumpeters when they are full. I annoyed that toad when he jumped out in tears last year, "But at the moment, you can't be impatient, because there are more critical things" - isn't this what he said last year? Now that there is a wolf crisis, is it considered "a more critical matter"? He jumped out to this weakness and that strength again. This is called diverting attention and muddying the waters! Silly rabbit! They are working together to brainwash you, can’t you tell?

Section 4: 2009? National Volume (3)

That crane is even more idiotic, "Survival requires more than one skill! If a rabbit can't learn to swim, it has to learn to dig holes." Fart, you have been chased to the river, is it too late to dig a hole now? Just believe what the experts say, silly rabbit!

Is it your rabbit’s fault that the wolf chases you away? You don't even have a chance to report. If you report, you may be accused by the Justice Lion of subverting the zoo. Both lions and wolves are tools of the zoo's dictatorship. How can you report them? But if such bad guys are not eradicated, how can you still be good? When I learn to swim, can I afford to hide if I can’t offend you? Let me tell you, dogs can paddle and wolves can swim! The wolf is the ancestor of the dog! There's no point in signing up for class. Next time you go out, you'd better bring a pedicure knife!

Listen to me, silly rabbit!

Comments: It is suggested that the education system should encourage this kind of composition. Learning is not to conform to the preferences of teachers or the public. Cultivating students with thoughtfulness and personality is the success of the education world.

The Rabbit at the Games

In the story, the rabbit is the champion and is inherently a winner. Successful people in life are forgiven, such as singing well, saying dirty words, and even Taking drugs; for example, if you become president, it’s okay to make some lifestyle issues.

But in this story, the rabbit who became the champion still has to learn swimming, which he will never learn. This logic is very problematic. It's like asking Yao Ming to sing "Nunchaku", no, asking him to do somersaults like Li Ning or hurdles like Liu Xiang.

In the story, the parents of the little animals did not appear, and they could not exercise their custody rights by making irresponsible remarks on the swimming training; the little animals had no choice about whether they could attend the training class, and they had no choice at all. It is necessary; these two points are completely illogical.

So, what are the reasons for learning to swim? Let's just say it's ridiculous, being chased to the river by a wolf. First of all, is it the rabbit's fault that the wolf chases the rabbit? Besides, what if the pursuit is not by the river but by the cliff? At this time, the Animal Management Bureau gave a ridiculous reason, for the comprehensive development of the animals. Where does this logic come from? It's obviously a wolf chasing a rabbit and there's an existential crisis! Please note that when the rabbit had an existential crisis, the Animal Management Bureau asked him to participate in training in the name of making him versatile! The logic of this fable is very problematic. It actually inadvertently alludes to many events in reality that will leave you speechless. Then there was sadness and joy, laughter and curses, and the pile of shit became thicker and thicker. The focus of the problem unknowingly shifted to the question of whether to learn to swim; people who knew how to swim were foolishly happy, but they could never learn to swim; coaches encouraged everyone to sweat foolishly, and experts clamored for a change of plan. Very lively!

Please note that there is one character who has received the least amount of ink. He is always hiding in the dark, snickering from the sidelines. The guy who is always ready to eat meat has been ignored by us! Yes, - wolf! He first created a problem by chasing a rabbit to the river, causing great panic in the small animal group; with his talent, catching and eating a rabbit that couldn't swim was not a problem, but the conspirator wolf didn't. Do this. Because he has a bigger conspiracy! Chasing a rabbit and causing panic in a colony of critters is more cost-effective than eating a rabbit! Only in the dazed panic of a group of small animals can the purpose of lowering the group's IQ and long-term predation be achieved! This fable successfully misleads us. The conspiracy wolves are ignored, and so are the Animal Control guys. Are they really retarded? If you are mentally retarded, can you be admitted as an animal civil servant? No, there can only be one explanation. They have the same interests and conspiracy as wolves. Wolves and other carnivores have always had a tacit understanding or deal with the Animal Management Bureau, a threat or an inducement, to achieve the goal of killing small animals. For the long-term control of animal groups, they have been creating various excuses to make small animals more confused, exhausted and stupid in order to maintain their high-end position in the food chain. Little animals will always be little animals, either being eaten by wolves, or becoming dumber, more confused, and more exhausted under the management of the Animal Management Bureau.

Poor candidates, poor rabbits at the sports meeting, poor little animals!

Comments: Very good, grasping the main contradiction. However, the purpose of the question maker is precisely to avoid touching on the main contradiction.

Section 5: 2009? Guangdong Volume: General Knowledge (1)

2009? Guangdong Volume: General Knowledge

Read the following text and compose according to the requirements.

We live in common sense, and common sense is with us. Sometimes, common sense is easy to know but difficult to practice. Sometimes, common sense needs to be replaced with new ones...

Please write an article to talk about your experience related to "common sense" in your life or your views on " "Common Sense", with your own title and style, no less than 800 words.

Ersi was killed by "common sense"

When he was in the first grade of kindergarten, Ersi was very eloquent. One Sunday morning, after he got up, after using the toilet, he hurriedly sat down at the dining table without washing his hands.

Dad said that you should brush your teeth after getting up and wash your hands after going to the toilet. Do you not know this is common sense? Er Sha said that it is common sense that smoking is harmful to health, so why are you still smoking? Dad is furious and tells you to talk back, tells you to talk back! Let you know what common sense is! Er Sha received N slaps on his little butt.

In the second grade of elementary school, Er Sha sat at the same table as Dabao, the mayor’s son. Dabao asked Er Sha to give him his toy pistol, but Er Sha didn't give it to him, so D Bao hit him, and Er Sha also hit D Bao. Dabao cried, and Er Sha also cried. The teacher punished me for writing the exam twice.

Er Sha was dissatisfied and said, "Teacher, didn't you say that our classmates are equal?" Why did he hit me first instead of writing a checkup, and then I hit him and he still wrote it? The teacher said, if you yell again, you will be punished with three days of duty!

One afternoon in the second grade of junior high school, Er Sha was on his way home from school when he saw an old woman falling, so he went up to help her up. In the evening, he proudly told his parents about this matter, fully expecting to be praised, but his mother told him very seriously that he would never do such a thing again! He said with grievance, "Didn't you always ask me to be a good boy who is brave enough to help others?" Mom yelled, "That was before!"

In the junior high school entrance exam, Er Sha came third in the class and Dabao came last. As a result, Dabao went to No. 1 Middle School, the best high school in the county, while Ersi was only admitted to No. 2 Middle School. Er Sha lay in bed for three days and three nights, constantly shouting, "I don't accept it, I don't accept it!" Doesn't it mean admission based on scores? Why is this! Mom