Joke Collection Website - Blessing messages - Issues that parents should pay attention to: When children grow up, they cannot be treated like managing and educating children. If parents are always in the same old way, repeat the same old tunes or

Issues that parents should pay attention to: When children grow up, they cannot be treated like managing and educating children. If parents are always in the same old way, repeat the same old tunes or

Issues that parents should pay attention to: When children grow up, they cannot be treated like managing and educating children. If parents are always in the same old way, repeat the same old tunes or frequently make certain demands, then there may be three types of problems in educating their children. Situation: First, it causes conflict: parents' excessive care or repeated preaching, orders, and reprimands make the child feel disrespected and distrustful of him, and therefore show oppositional emotions and resistance behaviors. The child's resistance in turn arouses parents' anger and dissatisfaction, which further reprimands the child. The stronger the reprimand, the stronger the resistance. This cycle will affect the relationship between parents and children, causing tension in the relationship. The second is to keep parents at a distance. Some parents put too much pressure on their children and the children cannot resist, so they adopt the method of keeping a distance, or find another close friend. Poor emotional communication between parents and children. The third is to succumb to the pressure of parents, be submissive, and obey orders, which suppresses the development of children's independence. Children may become mediocre and have no development prospects. Therefore, parents should improve their management and education methods as their children's independent intentions grow and change: 1. Give children an equal right to speak: a. Listen patiently to your children's ideas and opinions, no matter how ridiculous they seem to you. Whether it is unrealistic or unrealistic, you must be patient and listen carefully, and you must respect the child's personality. b. Don’t criticize or deny or comment on the child’s opinions hastily. c. Make a positive response to the child’s thoughts and opinions, let the child fully express his thoughts and make a positive gesture: “You It’s a good idea, but it would be even better if you add a little bit or change it a little bit.” Positive responses from parents can make children feel happy and have a sense of accomplishment. 2: Do not hurt the child's self-esteem when criticizing the child: a. Distinguish the occasion and wording: Do not criticize the child with harsh words in front of the child in front of the child's friends and teachers. The wording of criticism should be appropriate. Avoid "You are simply incorrigible" and "How are you?" If you are not as good at studying as so-and-so, why are you not as good as so-and-so in everything?" and other words that hurt the child's self-esteem. b. Don't criticize your children using the words "how have you ever"? . . Why are you always... . . When you speak, you should focus on this matter and discuss it as it is, and don't settle old scores. c. Appropriate cold treatment: When a child reacts strongly emotionally and speaks impulsively, parents simply ignore the child and wait for the child to think calmly and calm down the impulse before criticizing. Three: Let children learn to empathize with others: Parents who interfere with their children's behavior should express their concerns and worries directly, "For example: Mom can understand you, but you are like this, and mom is really worried. I believe you can understand mom's mood. , will handle these things by themselves. "Let the children know the parents' love, first ask the reasons, and explain that they are anxious and worried, hoping that the children can understand the parents' love and difficulty from the perspective of the parents. 4. Sexual physiological education: After entering puberty, the sexual functions of teenagers begin to mature, but their sexual and psychological development cannot yet adapt to it. Some children are not used to the rapid growth of their bodies and the drastic changes in their characteristics, and are shy and shy. Some children feel that they develop early or late, and are different from others, causing worry, depression, low self-esteem, loneliness, etc. Therefore, the most appropriate time for parents is to provide sexual physiology education to their children when they have secondary sexual characteristics. Generally, mothers should educate girls and fathers should educate boys. School education may be involved, but parents should cooperate with school education and consider certain methods to provide selective and targeted education based on the actual situation of their children. Beijing Renai Huixin senior psychological counselor: Xia Baoyu