Early rice sends text messages

At the end of 1956, an elegant old man in his sixties appeared on the path of the international cemetery in the suburbs of Shanghai, holding flowers in his hand. The newcomer is Zheng Zhenduo, a famous writer. On the tombstone where he came to pay homage, the words "Mrs. Zhang Junmai Wang Shiying" were engraved. In the photo on the tombstone, there is a middle-aged woman with a gentle and honest expression.

Wang Shiying was his first love. At present, Zhang Junli lives overseas. In the autumn wind, her lonely grave looks very deserted, while Zheng Zhenduo lingers in front of the grave, looking at the photos of Wang Shiying, with the same sadness as before. Because of shyness, self-confidence and misunderstanding when I was young, the two people who were once soul mates finally left irreparable regrets, which are still hard to let go in old age.

Zheng Zhenduo and his wife, Jun Gao, were called "immortal couples", while Wang Shiying's husband, Zhang Junmai, was also a famous politician, who was all-powerful in the 1940s. But behind the two happy marriages, there is also a sad first love story.

After several mistakes, I couldn't stop. The two people who were eager for life and death were always unable to reach the other side of love in constant entanglement and involvement. Besides, they also established a family. The reunion after 20 years finally made them see clearly the worries and misunderstandings of that year, and also increased the disappointment of unsuccessful love.

Even if we take Qi Mei as an example, it is difficult to tell the truth.

Lu Yin, a good friend and female writer of Wang Shiying, once wrote this fruitless love story into the novel Old Friends by the Sea. Later, another good friend, Cheng Junying, continued to write it in novels, which basically restored their feelings.

1945, after Wang Shiying died in childbirth, Zheng Zhenduo thought more. During his stay in Shanghai, he often went to Wang Shiying's grave to pay his respects. After moving to Beijing, whenever he comes to Shanghai for a meeting or business trip, he will take time to present a bouquet of flowers to Wang Shiying's grave to express his unforgettable thoughts.

It's a pity that lovers don't get married. Take a closer look at the beginning and end of their love. In fact, it is their same introverted, implicit and unconfident personality that led to their failure to die together. Zheng Zhenduo was later attracted by Gao Junzhen, and Wang Shiying was pursued by Zhang Junmai. Both of them took the initiative and got married twice respectively.

Deep love is often based on the mutual attraction and response of personal charm, but a happy marriage needs many factors in the right place at the right time. A good marriage, in a sense, is indeed a proper collocation, complementary personality and value matching, not just an inner feeling.

Therefore, it can be seen from the novels of two friends that the love between Zheng and Wang Shiying has no result, which is a pity, but also a necessity.

Wang Shiying and Zheng Zhenduo are both from Fujian. Wang Shiying, 1899, was born in Dongmiao Lane, Fujian County (now Fuzhou City). His grandfather, Wang Renkan, was the top scholar in the late Qing Dynasty, and his great grandfather, Wang Qingyun, was the governor of Guangdong and Guangxi and the minister of the Ministry of Industry. The royal family was full of talents, high officials and experts. Wang Shiying's father was the director of education in Fujian Province during the Republic of China, and later became the minister of education.

Zheng Zhenduo's ancestral home is Changle County, Fujian Province. Because his grandfather followed him as a cousin of the salt official to Wenzhou as a screen friend, his family moved to Wenzhou. 1898, born in Yamen, Yangongtang, Wenzhou. His grandfather had high hopes for Zheng Zhenduo, the eldest grandson, but before he grew up, his grandfather and father died one after another. The Zheng family is helpless in the local area and can only rely on his grandmother and widowed mother to help people do needlework and sew clothes to make a living.

Zheng Zhenduo was admitted to Beijing Railway Management Institute (Beijing Jiaotong University) on 19 17 in order to earn a living and support his family early. After school, he loves to buy books and likes literary creation and translation very much. Also in this year, Wang Shiying was admitted to the Chinese Department of the famous Beijing Women's Normal School and became the President of the Student Union of the Women's Normal School.

19 19 When the May 4th Movement broke out, Wang Shiying not only enthusiastically organized activities, but also actively created vernacular works, and became friends with Cheng Junying, Huang Ying (writer Lu Yin) and Chen Dingxiu, girlfriends of her three classmates. Except for Chen Dingxiu, who is from Suzhou, the other three girls are from Fujian. They are full of lofty sentiments and exuberance of the times, and they take "Spring and Autumn Period and Warring States Period" as their own.

Later, in Lu Yin's novel "Old Friends by the Sea", the friendship of "four children" was described poetically.

Su, a classmate of Wang Shiying, wrote a poem specially for the "four sons", saying that they "gathered in Fujian and Hunan, and the articles were wonderful."

1919165438+10 On the afternoon of 28th, Zheng Zhenduo made a speech at the meeting, denouncing the evil deeds of Japanese shooting in Fuzhou.

After listening to his passionate speech, Wang Shiying was deeply impressed by this talent. Moreover, Zheng Zhenduo is good-looking, tall, with a high nose, a wide forehead and outstanding manners, which makes her feel good.

Zheng Zhenduo also fell in love with her at first sight. The female student union president of a normal college, with beautiful appearance and extraordinary temperament, has a steady and wise light in her eyes, which immediately attracted Zheng Zhenduo.

The next day, he came to the Red Chamber of Women's Normal University and asked the concierge to meet Wang Shiying in the reception room. In the name of student activities, I have frequent contact with Wang Shiying. They have many common interests, like literary creation and reading. During the communication, their feelings continued to heat up.

Zheng Zhenduo, who fell in love with her first love, could not extricate herself. As long as I haven't seen Wang Shiying for a few days, he can't settle down.

1920 65438+ 10, Zheng Zhenduo, Mao Dun, Xu Dishan and others led the establishment of the "Literature Research Association", a total of 12 people, and founded the Novel Monthly, in which Wang Shiying and Cheng Junying joined.

At the end of this year, Zheng Zhenduo passed the graduation examination of Railway Management College and was assigned to Shanghai South Railway Station of Shanghai-Hangzhou-Ningbo Railway as a trainee. He hoped to distance himself from Wang Shiying, so he braved the cold wind to come to the Women's Normal College and tentatively explained his intention to Wang Shiying in the reception room of the Red Chamber.

At this time, Wang Shi Yingcai was 2 1 year old. She was born in a simple family, and had no formal contact with the opposite sex, so she dared not make her own decisions. Seeing Zheng Zhenduo's sincere attitude, she was very moved and still hesitated to answer Zheng Zhenduo: "I must discuss this matter with my parents before I can decide."

Wang Shiying's mother heard that Zheng Zhenduo was born in a poor family and lived as a widow doing needlework in Wenzhou, so she didn't agree. She thinks that the two are improper and the two are wrong. The Wangs are the number one scholar, and they have been officials for generations, and their family income remains unchanged. Wang Shiying's father is also a senior official of the Ministry of Education, while the Zheng family is just a small family. Zheng Zhenduo doesn't have a formal college diploma, so she can only work as a clerk in the railway. So, the Queen Mother told her daughter directly: "Zheng is by no means my ideal Mr. Right. You should stop seeing him."

Seeing his parents' clear-cut attitude, Wang Shiying dared not disobey and did not answer Zheng Zhenduo's courtship in time, which was very painful. Zheng Zhenduo was even more disappointed when she didn't reply, and often drowned her sorrows in wine.

In this regard, Lu Yin believes that Wang Shiyi should be braver and encourage her to say: "The era of parents giving orders and matchmakers has passed, and marriage is independent!"

After all, Wang Shiying is not a rebellious and affectionate Lu Yin. She dare not go against her parents' wishes. It even occurred to her that if Zheng Zhenduo was more determined and confident, she would personally confess to her again and give her a promise about the future. She can also run away with Zheng Zhenduo.

Zheng Zhenduo couldn't understand her complicated inner feelings. He is full of expectation that Wang Shiying will take the initiative to give him a formal answer. He didn't report to Shanghai for three months until March of 192 1, so he said goodbye to her in a hurry and went to Shanghai.

A month later, Zheng Zhenduo resigned from the Railway Bureau and became the editor of Deng Xue, a supplement of Shanghai current affairs news. At the same time, he also set out to set up the Journal of Literature Research Association-Literary Xun Magazine.

On April 23rd, 192 1, Literature Xunkan was formally established in Shanghai. Wang Shiying published many articles about it, such as the novel "Mood" and "Nothing is incomplete". Although she lives in Beijing and Shanghai, she keeps close communication with Zheng Zhenduo and never breaks up with her mother.

However, they only talked about literary creation in their correspondence, but never mentioned this emotional entanglement.

Zheng Zhenduo is very insecure in front of Wang Shiying. His family is as poor as a church mouse, living by selling literature, and even his own food and clothing is a problem. He couldn't get up the courage to chase, and he couldn't let go of this true feeling, so he had to write a letter to Lu Yin to inquire about Wang Shiying's mind.

During the summer vacation, after receiving the letter, Wang Shiying told Lu Yin about her love for Zheng Zhenduo and family pressure. She is also deeply depressed about this, but she can't find any solution. Besides, she is not sure whether Zheng Zhenduo really loves her. If so, why didn't he pursue himself enthusiastically, but he always acted tepid?

After all, love is a private matter of two people, and others can't make decisions for their own hearts. Zheng Zhenduo is afraid to speak out because he has a deep sense of inferiority in front of his lover, and her Excellence makes him infatuated and unattainable. What's more, he is just an inexperienced young man. Without Wang Shiying's encouragement, how dare he go further? If you formally refuse after opening your mouth, you will not be friends in the future.

1921may, introduced by Mao Dun, Zheng Zhenduo entered the Shanghai Commercial Press, and after his career gradually improved, he got up the courage to pursue Wang Shiying.

It happened that there was an opportunity in front of him. 1922 On March 3rd, B·R·Epomehk, a blind Soviet poet and esperanto scholar, gave a speech at Beijing Normal University, accompanied by Zheng Zhenduo. When Zheng Zhenduo intends to meet Wang Shiying, he will pour out his heart.

However, when we met in a hurry, Zheng Zhenduo was in a trance, looking at Wang Shiying, which he hadn't seen for a year. He didn't say a word except greetings. Wang Shiying was full of doubts and didn't understand why he was so cold. Both of them ask themselves in their hearts: does the other party have someone to love now?

After the meeting, Zheng Zhenduo was very unwilling. He wrote a short message and sent it out, but he didn't get any reply. Zheng Zhenduo sent her another message, trying to get a result, but Wang Shiying still ignored it. It's not that she doesn't love Zheng Zhenduo, but she thinks that if she is desperate to abandon her family and elope with Zheng Zhenduo, Zheng Zhenduo should have the same courage to face her personally anyway. Young, she thinks that true love needs a vigorous proof.

In this way, both sides hope that the other side can take the first step boldly, give courage and call, and complete the remaining 99 steps by itself, but as a result, no one has taken that crucial step. Both of them are too reserved, playing charades for a long time from a distance, and two pairs of melancholy are on their minds. Thus, in Wang Shiying's waiting and cold treatment, a sincere feeling was turned into a cloud by time and distance.

1922 In the summer, after graduating from Women's Teachers College, Wang Shiying went to Japan for an investigation. She published a series of short poems on her trip to Tokyo in Literature Xunkan, edited by Zheng Zhenduo, and published a long travel note in the famous Morning Post Supplement, but she was far away in a foreign country and her communication with Zheng Zhenduo was not as close as before.

After returning to Shanghai, Zheng Zhenduo often got drunk. In order to enrich his life and get out of his emotional predicament as soon as possible, at the end of this year, his good friend Xie La took him to teach part-time in the Shenzhou Girls' School funded by the publishing house, earning a lot of income to support his grandmother and mother who just moved to Shanghai.

And it was here that Zheng Zhenduo met his later wife, Gao Junzhen.

Gao Junzhen is a talented girl in China Girls' School. She is proficient in poetry and English translation, and has a heart-to-heart talk with Zheng Zhenduo.

On February 8th, 1922, 1922, she published a translation of Strange Ring in Children's World edited by Zheng Zhenduo. She was very happy and said that she would contribute later.

Gao Junzhen is the daughter of Gao, the head of the Commercial Press. Gao has always loved talents. When he saw Zheng Zhenduo's good looks and outstanding literary talent, he was also in his hometown of Changle, Fujian. He has long admired Zheng Zhenduo. When he heard that his daughter met Zheng Zhenduo, he actively encouraged them to get close.

Gao sent a message to Zheng Zhenduo, the Commercial Press, through Zheng Xinnan, another fellow villager in Fujian, saying that his daughter was not worthy of him and that Zheng Zhenduo's character and talent made him a son-in-law.

In order to promote this marriage, Gao specially talked with his daughter, praised Zheng Zhenduo, and told her to consult Zheng Zhenduo more and talk about books and literature together. After that, he saw that the communication between them was still tepid. 1923 in April, this month, he warmly encouraged his daughter to travel to Hangzhou with Zheng Zhenduo to establish feelings.

Over the past two years, Zheng Zhenduo thought that his first love with Wang Shiying had long failed. Gao's appreciation for him made him grateful, and Gao Junzhen's natural and graceful behavior also made him appreciate it very much.

Seeing that both her daughter and Zheng Zhenduo recognized this relationship, they struck while the iron was hot. In June, 1923, 10, 10, they were married in Shanghai Yipinxiang Hotel.

After the wedding, Zheng Zhenduo wrote a letter to Wang Shiying. Things at this point, he had to be cruel to cut off the inner thoughts, and Wang Shiying to make an end. But he wrote, changed, changed and wrote this letter. It took a whole night, and finally there was only one sentence left, saying that he was married.

After receiving the letter, Wang Shiying, who had just returned home, fell into the abyss. She asked their mutual friend Cheng Junying in disbelief. When she learned that the situation was true, she collapsed on the sofa and was extremely sad.

The person she can fall in love with is, of course, a young man with excellent appearance, outstanding talent and great attraction to the opposite sex. The Wangs with family background look down on Zheng Zhenduo, but the Gaos who pay attention to new learning regard him as a treasure. On the one hand, we haven't heard from Wang Shiying for a long time, and on the other hand, Gao's father and daughter warmly accepted and favored him, so Zheng Zhenduo's choice is taken for granted.

Cheng Junying persuaded her in the same way, saying, "You can't have your parents' life and free love. This is the inevitable result. Since your parents don't allow it, Zhenduo has to do so. "Wang Shiying, after all, is a good family. She nodded silently, forced herself to restrain her inner loss and recognized the result.

In fact, Wang Shiying, with outstanding talent and outstanding family background, has been pursuing her constantly. Zheng Zhenduo can't make a brave and positive confession, but others can.

1at the end of 923, Wang Shiying met Zhang Youyi's second brother, Zhang Junmai, at the preparatory meeting for Tagore's visit to China in Beijing's literary and art circles because of Lu Yin's introduction.

The Zhang family is a big family in Baoshan (now Shanghai), Jiangsu Province. Zhang Junmai 19 entered Waseda University in Japan, and later returned to China to become the last academician in the late Qing Dynasty, and obtained a doctorate in political science from the University of Berlin, Germany. During this year, he and Ding Wenjiang had a pen battle in the newspaper, and they are already influential social celebrities.

Zhang Junmai fell in love with Wang Shiying at first sight. He and his arranged marriage wife, Shen Shi, separated after one month of marriage and are still single. Only after seeing Wang Shiying did he know what love was. In order to be qualified to pursue their own happiness, he and Shen Shi formally went through the divorce procedure.

In March 1924, during Tagore's visit to China, Zhang Junmai invited Wang Shiying to go with Shi Weng and proposed to her warmly. Wang Shiying still can't decide whether to accept Zhang Junmai as his lifelong companion.

She asked her parents for advice, and this time the Wangs agreed, thinking that Zhang Junmai was an "ideal husband" regardless of family status or talent. Wang Shiying felt that her appearance led to Zhang Junmai's divorce, so she couldn't help feeling guilty and asked her girlfriends for advice again. She even wrote to Bing Xin, a friend studying in America. Although Bing Xin didn't know Zhang Junmai, she read many articles about him and admired his talent and knowledge, so she wrote back and strongly agreed to their marriage.

With the encouragement of relatives and friends, Wang Shiying agreed to Zhang Junmai's pursuit. 1925, they got married in Fuzhou. At that time, Zhang Junmai was 39 years old and Wang Shiying was 26 years old. After marriage, Wang Shiying gave up literary creation. She gave birth to five children for Zhang Junmai and really became her husband's academic right-hand man.

1929, Zhang Junmai was kidnapped by gangsters in Shanghai because of his different political views. Wang Shiying calmly dealt with the gangsters, and the parties found green gang leader Du and others to mediate before rescuing her husband. Zhang Junmai is very grateful for this. In his later published works, his appreciation and admiration for his wife can be seen everywhere. His later achievements could not be separated from Wang Shiying's contribution, and Zhang Junmai's growing social influence also made Wang Shiying feel that he had not married the wrong person.

After separating from Zheng Zhenduo, she also had her own marriage.

Zheng Zhenduo's marriage is also praised by people, calling it a "fairy couple".

After Gao Junmai and Zheng Zhenduo got married, they jointly translated and published the collection of fairy tales Swan, and Zheng Zhenduo wrote books such as Life and Death of China Writers, Literature Outline and Illustration of China Literature History. Gao Junzhen stayed behind the scenes and prepared a lot of materials for him.

Although she is young, she is firm, like-minded with her husband, and faces the storms of life together.

1927, during the white terror, Zheng Zhenduo was searched for publishing an open letter denouncing Chiang Kai-shek's crimes. Gao Li advised him to leave his wife and children and take refuge in France. During his stay in Europe, Zheng Zhenduo wrote down his thoughts about his wife in his diary, which was later compiled into A Diary of a European Bank.

During the Anti-Japanese War, Zheng Zhenduo assumed the pseudonym of Shanghai and risked his life to buy all kinds of rare books, rare books, ancient books and secret books in the library in the south of the Yangtze River, so as to avoid the great shame of "history is in other countries and literature is overseas". The life of the youngest child was borne by Gao Junzhen alone, but she didn't complain.

If it weren't for a reunion later, the relationship between Zheng Zhenduo and Wang Shiying might have been completely covered up by time. After all, they made their own choices and lived two different lives.

During the War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression period, Zheng Zhenduo heard that Wang Shiying was recovering from illness at her family's home in Dumei Road. She has been isolated for many years, and now she is close at hand. How can she not miss her? When people reach middle age, they don't know when life in troubled times will end. Finally, he could not help it. He found Cheng Junying and said in a pleading voice, "I miss Shiying very much. Can you accompany me to her house to catch up? "

It has been more than twenty years since we met again. In the past, young teenagers have become world-renowned university professors and writers, and in the past, flower girl has also become a dignified housewife with children.

Wang Shiying got up to entertain old friends, poured out a plate of fresh longan after tea and said, "Try the fragrant longan in my hometown, and borrow homesickness for many years!"

Zheng Zhenduo took a sip of tea and tasted an longan, and suddenly he was so sad that he almost cried. He sighed with red eyes: "Fragrant longan tastes the same every year, but people have changed!" Wang Shiying's hand holding a teacup trembled. The fruitless first love has different tastes in the hearts of two middle-aged people, with more sadness than sweetness and more regret than joy.

As in those days, Zheng Zhenduo looked at Wang Shiying with extremely melancholy eyes, but Wang Shiying avoided it and turned his attention to the teacup in his hand.

Soon, Wang Shiying was taken to Chongqing by her husband, and they lost contact again.

1in March, 945, 46-year-old Wang Shiying died during childbirth. Zhang Junmai was attending the United Nations General Assembly in San Francisco. After hearing the news, he was heartbroken and lost such a "non-apprentice couple, true friendship and friend" wife in great pain.

Zheng Zhenduo didn't know the bad news until June 8th. He stayed up all night that night and wrote in his diary: "It's a pity to hear the news of Wen Shiying's death! Let bygones be bygones, unbearable ... "

After the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, Wang Shiying's coffin was transported back to Shanghai for burial. Zhang Junmai, who was hit hard, never made a comeback and quit politics. After that, he drifted overseas and devoted himself to Confucianism until he died in a sanatorium in San Francisco at the age of 82.

Zheng Zhenduo often goes to Wang Shiying's grave and stays there for half a day. Until his family 1949 left Shanghai, he went to Wang Shiying's grave to say goodbye and cried at the grave: "I will often come back to see you, otherwise I won't be at ease if you are alone."

Even for my dead wife, that's all.

Their love story was recorded by two novels by friends Lu Yin and Cheng Junying. In the novel, Wang Shiying is called Yun Qing. Let bygones be bygones, I can't bear to think about it ... Love is deep and shallow, so that two people's inner concerns will never change, but they will never be close.

In fact, this is also a necessity. From Wang Shiying's later life track, we can see that she is only a new woman in appearance. Because of her family background, she still has the traditional female characteristics in the ethical society. She is gentle and sincere, pushing herself and others, and her character is not radical. She cares about other people's opinions, and certainly won't resist her family for love. Zheng Zhenduo is far from Zhang Junmai's courage, so he can't make moves. He can only miss the opportunity in endless waiting and rigid temptation. Both of them are steady and self-satisfied. Because of their similar personalities and hobbies, they can't boldly show their true feelings, and they can't completely grasp this fate.

This is a sad song of first love, but it can also confirm some inevitable logics of human nature and life.