Four sentences make avoidant attachment no longer cold and violent to you.

Four sentences make avoidant attachment no longer cold and violent to you.

If you have been with avoidant attachment, you must have encountered this problem: as long as you encounter contradictions, avoidant attachment will implement cold violence. Life is full of bumps and bumps, and minor quarrels are inevitable, but the evasive type always seems to magnify these problems infinitely, deal with them in a "indifferent and unresponsive" way, and punish each other. Are you sad, crazy and helpless whenever the avoidance type launches cold violence against you?

Only by adhering to the correct method can we enter the heart of avoidant attachment.

1. Hide the demand and calm down.

Many people have a cold war with avoidant attachment, send messages to avoidant attachment and don't reply, and then they will lower their posture and ask for ta and reconciliation. In fact, this will only aggravate the escape, because people don't want to talk to you at this time and have begun to defend themselves. It's strange that you still attack blindly and don't hit a wall.

In addition, in love, don't form the habit of who is higher than who, and intimate love can last for a long time. So, calm down, even if ta is avoidant attachment, don't kneel down.

2. Don't pester and bombard repeatedly.

Some people keep sending calls, WeChat and text messages when they see evasive non-reply, which is similar to becoming angry from embarrassment. Obviously, avoidant attachment will only escape and only blacken you. The correct way is to keep calm, try to disconnect for a few days, let the other person's anger and impulse cool down, and then find opportunities to communicate the previous problems.

3. Express your emotions in a relaxed way

Don't expose your negative emotions in communication, such as "complaining", "accusing" and "getting angry". Avoidant attachment will not pick up your emotions, but will only feel stressed. Ta will think, so you blame me? The correct way is to calmly express ideas, state facts, reflect on problems, and find ways acceptable to both sides, instead of expressing emotions meaningless.

4. treat ta as a kitten

Avoidant attachment is very fragile, insecure and distrustful of intimate relationships. At this time, you should coax ta like a cat. You know that cat, right? Touch her well, and she will be very obedient. If you are mean to her, she will arrest you. Therefore, you treat ta as a kitten and give her love and security as much as possible! Let ta be close to you, trust you and like you. Who will refuse a person who makes him feel comfortable?