Funny composition

It's a beautiful day today. Wan Li is clear and white clouds are floating. (Never seen such a scene _) My classmate Xiaogang and I go to school by bike. Suddenly, the valve core of his car was broken, so I pulled out my car and put it on him. We continue to ride to school happily together. It turns out that "my" bike can be used without a valve core. _)

When we passed a department store, I couldn't help feeling: Ah! It seems that people's living standards have really improved. Look at the old farmer, with a refrigerator in his left hand and a TV in his right, trotting home. Worse than Stephen Chow in Kung Fu? ! ) all say that you can't do two things at once. Just as I was staring at the old man, an old lady suddenly rushed out of the fork. Just then, I came to an emergency stop with a bang, but I still knocked down the old lady and the egg basket in my hand danced with the wind. (What a beautiful egg _) Bang, the old lady was smashed to pieces, but she still stood up and ran away. (This old lady must be a sage like type _) She ran all the way back and said to me, "Take your time, young man. If I hadn't rushed home to nurse my grandson, I would have a good life! "

I rushed to school with a lingering fear, and just stepped on the bell and entered the classroom. The first class is English. As a rule, because I don't understand, I always sleep secretly until class is over. And because I sit in the last row, behind me is the back door of the classroom. Every time after class, my deskmate will wake me up and go out to bask in the sun. Today, unfortunately, the teacher asked me to answer questions for the first time. I was awakened by my deskmate when I was asleep, thinking that class was over, so I got up and opened the back door and walked out of the classroom. Three minutes later, I felt strange outside the classroom and rushed back to the classroom, only to find that all the teachers and students were in a state of panic. The teacher tried not to get angry. She repeated the question, but I was in a daze. I stood there for about one minute and ten seconds. The teacher said impatiently, "May I?" I won't scream either! "So he was so angry that he said loudly," Cheep. " The teacher fainted on the spot.

Let's stop here, because writing 600 words is enough. I wrote nearly 100 more words. Will you consider giving extra points to my beautiful and lovely Chinese teacher? Please, please, thank you!

Bian Xiao said to himself: Writing is writing what you see, hear and think on paper with a pen. It is ridiculous if there is something unrealistic in the composition. Therefore, the first step in writing a good composition is to observe carefully and make the composition meaningful.

Second, the composition is wrong.

1. sports meeting 100 meter sprint finally started, and the students ran out like wild dogs out of control.

Teacher's comment: Has the playground become a dog racing field? Ten thousand dogs gallop, which is spectacular!

2. The teacher asked the students to imitate the text "Little Tadpole Looking for Mom" and write a composition about someone. there is a

Students imitate this: my mother's white belly and bulging eyes. ...

Teacher's comment: Like mother, like son, I think your stomach is white and your eyes are bulging.

On the bumpy road of life, we should keep a firm direction. ...

Teacher's comment: This road can be the ninth wonder after eight wonders of the world relayed the Terracotta Warriors.

4. People's Liberation Army uncles crawl forward one by one, just like green bugs crawling on the ground.

Teacher's comment: Why did my mighty teacher come to you and become a "bug attack team"?

The colorful flags are fluttering in the sports field, and men of all ages are throwing darts. One dart for you and one dart for me. A full stomach

The sky is floating!

Teacher's comment: It's horrible. Is it an amusement park or a slaughterhouse

6. Looking at the gloomy sky ...

Teacher's comment: There are days ahead!

7. A hunter is chasing a wild boar in the forest. The fat and clumsy wild boar is already in the forest.

I ran for my life, I don't know how many times.

Teacher's comment: Give up your life and run for your life? Does the wild boar want to die or live?

8. A depressed young man was walking alone in the cold street.

Teacher's comment: Poor child!

At first, my heart fell to the lowest point of Mount Everest. ...

Teacher's comment: Where is the lowest point of Mount Everest? East longitude? North latitude?

10. One day, the teacher praised a classmate in the class and said that he used the idiom "green is dripping" well.

Almost everyone used "green" in the composition handed in next. "There is a pot of green flowers in the corner of the classroom"; "Dad took out the green glass"; "She put on a green skirt, which is really green." A boy actually wrote, "I caught a cold these two days and my nose is green."

Teacher's comment: I am so angry with you!

Bian Xiao said to himself: For language expression, grammar is an unsolvable problem, logic is a right problem, and rhetoric is a good problem. A good embellishment will make your expression more vivid, while a failed embellishment will make your article a laughing stock of others.

Third, the typo in the embarrassing composition

1. A girl's diary wrote: There are many people around my house who have dogs and have no public morality. I just came out from home this morning and saw a pile of shit pulled by some wild dog at the door. I ate a kilo. (massive! Huge! It should be "surprised" )

There is an article about a teacher in China. When introducing the teacher's appearance, it should be "teacher's face". As a result, the students wrote "The teacher has a paw face". The Chinese teacher is going crazy.

After getting up in the morning and sorting out the "relics", we gathered at school and took a ride to Kenting for a graduation trip.

Teacher's comment: I don't know which funeral home is your home? The teacher never knew ...

Last night, my classmates and I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner. We ordered two hamburgers and "chicken nuggets and shit" ...

Teacher's comment: Is it delicious? Chicken manure? (A piece of chicken)

My history teacher has long hair and shawl, short stature, bad temper and a little "chest" ...

Teacher's comment: The history teacher asked me to tell you: "Wait for the next history class and tighten your skin." (intense)

I think I am a good student who is worried about both academic performance and academic performance. ...

Teacher's comment: You should worry about failing. (excellent)

7. It's going to rain, and the farmer's uncle is picking up a small watch in the field. (wheat)

Teacher's comment: Where to get it? Let's organize a voluntary labor on Sunday. (wheat)

8. Just then, a "stroke" car just hit Xiao Qiang.

Teacher's comment: "Stroke" brand car?

9. Those who eat are heroes, and the fittest survive.

Teacher's comment: Good teeth, good appetite and good health! Picking the fat is not the way to keep fit. (Understand current affairs)

10. Qu Yuan, who was exiled, never forgot to serve his country, and finally kissed himself on the Wujiang River because there was no way to serve his country.

Teacher's comment: I miss Xiang Yu so far and refuse to cross Jiangdong! (suicide)

1 1.2060 am, Jiuquan Space Device Launch Base, Gansu Province. ...

Teacher comment: Jiuquan? It was created by Yan Luowang! (Jiuquan)

Bian Xiao said to himself: Mistakes are always compared to "Xiao Qiang" in rice by teachers. Think about it. If you don't want to eat, you should try to get rid of Xiao Qiang. (Note: "Xiao Qiang" refers to cockroaches, in Stephen Chow)

Fourthly, the childlike articles of embarrassing composition.

1. When I was young, I kept a diary, and the teacher stipulated that it should be more than 200 words. At that time, there was a four-person team, and a team leader checked the number of words. A person in my group wrote: "Today, my mother asked me to go out to buy food. I asked how much it was a catty, and the vegetable seller said 5 points. I said, it's really cheap, it's really cheap, it's really cheap ... "The group leader counted four words missing, and my dear friend added at the back, it's really cheap.

2. Grade three students, write a rainy day. He said: Rainy days are a good time to sleep. After breakfast, my father and I went to bed. That's it! The teacher asked: One sentence is enough? He said we were asleep! Did nothing.

3. The primary school teacher wrote a semi-propositional composition: My xxx. As a result, my classmate wrote a composition entitled "My Comrade Qiu".

4. "A red sun reflects the morning sun ... As pupils in the new era, we know that Beijing is next to the capital ..."

5. The students in Grade One and Grade Four use the true story of "brand-new" and "a brand-new vegetable was born ..." (thanks to Zhao Benshan), which is absolutely original.

5. Asked to write "My classmate", a classmate wrote: "Guoqiang is sitting on a stool, his ass is as big as a pumpkin in the field, and his underwear is uncovered (cut) under his clothes." The teacher read it out in class and said that the classmate described it vividly. After class, this classmate was chased and beaten by that classmate. ...

6. On an opaque night, the tadpoles in the pond are basking in the sun!

7. In primary school, the teacher asked to use the word "sure enough" to make a sentence. Some students wrote: I haven't taken a bath for three months, and I really stink.

8. Watching the Lantern Show written by a classmate: I looked around and saw all kinds of lanterns hanging on my head. ...

9. Diary of classmates: Day 1: I went to my mother's office today and had a good time.

The next day: I went to my mother's office yesterday and had a good time.

Day 3: Today, I remembered that I went to my mother's office the day before yesterday and had a good time.

10. Once I went out to have breakfast with my classmates. While I was eating, a dog ran to a classmate and wagged its tail. He looked at the dog for a long time and said, "call dad and I'll give it to you."

Bian Xiao said to himself: The childhood of chasing dragonflies and butterflies, day after day, year after year, unconsciously, waiting for classes, waiting for school and waiting for games is gone forever. But every time we open the composition book of childhood, those immature languages and those casual mistakes will still make us smile.

Improper use of allusions in embarrassing compositions

College entrance examination candidates with a wonderful, free ride in history and reality, bold imagination and humorous words, make the boring history and real world so interesting, worthy of being a history maker! The following are some witticisms from the excerpts, which are now quietly submitted to readers.

1. Li Yu is singing: I can't move, I have a lot on my mind, just like a river flowing eastward.

Teacher's comment: Are Li Qingzhao and Li Sang Yu together?

How could General Montgomery be in Waterloo if he didn't reflect on his failure and continue to work hard?

What about Napoleon's defeat in the battle?

Teacher's evaluation: Napoleon VS Montgomery? Can Guan Gong fight Qin Qiong for 300 rounds?

3. Yue Fei chose to be loyal to the country and do his best. He has been through many battles all his life, so that Xiongnu soldiers treated him.

Fear. Fear.

Teacher's comment: When will the moon be bright in Han Dynasty and closed in Song Dynasty? Remember that Yue Fei is a gold star.

I remember Mr. Lu Xun once said: Go your own way and let others talk.

Teacher's comment: Don't bring stolen goods, Dante will have problems!

When Confucius was a child, he shared pears with his brother, one big and one small, and his mother asked him to choose.

He only took a small piece. This is the famous story of Kong Rong Jean Pear, which is not endless for Confucius.

A big pear, but he had the right choice since he was a child, and later he became China.

Great thinkers in history.

Teacher's comment: God, is Kong Rong Confucius?