Funny and deceptive routines (funny dialogue jokes make you laugh for a holiday)

It's hard to talk normally all day now. Some people say that the most touching sentence in the world is: "The other person is typing ..." However, life is full of routines, which is really hard to prevent. You have no idea what the other party is playing.

Don't move the classic deceptive sentences! Read this message quietly! Look up, look down, don't forget the left and right! Have you finished reading it? Delete it after reading it!

What happened? Call the mobile phone, voice prompt: you dialed a lazy pig from other places, please dial the pigsty area code before dialing the number. I can't believe it. Call again. Voice prompt: the owner has been slaughtered.

The most romantic thing I can think of is watching you get fat. Then I'll eat pork. Oh yeah!

It makes sense to hear that eating garlic can prevent swine flu. Think about it: if you eat garlic, others will think you have a taste and won't come near you, and the swine flu virus can't come near you! Haha, don't forget to pack two cloves of garlic before you go out!

Meeting you is the beginning of my heart, and falling in love with you is my happy choice; Pursuing you is the starting point of my happiness; Having you is my most precious wealth; Stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation! Unfortunately, I sent it to the wrong person!

Do your ears itch? Does that mean I miss you and my eyes itch? Does this mean that I want to see you? Does your mouth itch? That means I want to kiss you. Does it itch? That means ... stop joking. You have lice. Take a bath!

I have three words to say to you, including the following one. Thank you. I'm finished.

"I miss those days. You wriggled in front of me and walked down the country road with your head down. When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: Oh, it's so beautiful and clean! Also praised me: What a good child, such a small grade came out to put pigs! "

This message has three main purposes: first, to connect feelings; The second is to pass the time; Third, I tell you responsibly: it's cold, remember not to wear open-backed pants again. "

Don't eat when you are hungry! I did it; Don't sleep when you are sleepy! I also did it; It's cold and naked, here we go again. I am such a strong person, but I didn't tell you when I missed you.

Chat classic deception routine 1.

Such praise:

I think you are too narcissistic,

Honestly, when I grow up like you,

The beauty pageant won the top three at most.

I found you a liar,

Because I look much better than in the picture.

2.

"You must be nearsighted, right?"

"Why do you say that?"

"You are not nearsighted, how can you not see that I like you?"

He asked me what I was doing, and I said I was painting my eyebrows.

He said, let me see, is thrush deep and fashionable?

(The first half of this poem is "Ask Jun in a low voice after makeup") …

I melted at that time.

3.

On the way back with her boyfriend, he snorted a few times. I said, why are you acting like an addict?

He joked, "Look at me, I'll show you what drug abuse is."

Then when I turned my head, he kissed me.

5 classic chat jokes (1)

The disciple asked the teacher, "Can you talk about the strangeness of human beings?" The teacher replied: "They are eager to grow up and then lament their lost childhood;" They exchange health for money, and soon want to use money to restore health; They are anxious about the future, but ignore the happiness of the present. Therefore, they live neither in the present nor in the future. They live as if they would never die; It seems that he never lived before he died. "

(2)

One day, the dog asked the wolf, do you have a house or a car? The wolf said no, and the dog asked, do you have any fruit for three meals a day? The wolf said no, did you have anyone to coax you to play and take you shopping? The wolf said no. The dog said contemptuously, you are so incompetent, why have nothing! The wolf smiled: I don't eat shit, I have the goal I pursue, I have the freedom you don't have, I am a lonely wolf, and you are just a happy dog!

(3)

A drop of ink fell into a glass of water, and the glass of water immediately changed color and could not be drunk; A drop of ink melts in the sea, and the sea is still blue. Why? Because their stomachs are different. Immature ears of wheat stand upright, and mature ears of wheat hang their heads. Why? Because the weight of the two is different. Tolerance of others is magnanimity; Humility is weight; Together, it is a person's quality.

(4)

The old man said to the child, "clench your fist and tell me what it feels like?" The child clenched his fist: "A little tired." Old man: "Try harder." Child: "I'm tired and a little breathless!" " "Old man:" Let it be. "When the child grows up, he says," It's much easier! "Old man:" When you feel tired, the tighter you hug, the more tired you are. Put it down and let it go. "What a simple truth, it is easy to let go.

(5)

When people are angry, their IQ is zero; People will be deformed if they are impatient; There is no trust between people, and it is useless to say anything; When people lose their direction, nothing is interesting to do; Of course, the most important thing for people is self-knowledge, self-awareness and self-improvement. Self-knowledge can foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, self-knowledge can be independent, and self-improvement can be indomitable.