Super deadly and funny. Tell me about it.

1, drink water when you are thirsty, and don't keep treating me.

2. Taking a bath in summer feels like washing vegetables for mosquitoes.

3. Tell me if you miss me, and don't make me sneeze all the time.

4. Beautiful boys are weak now, and now is the age of women.

5. It is a season of getting up by perseverance and exposure by courage.

6. I planted mushrooms all the way to make you return to a more lively way.

7. Now, I'm even more disappointed than a pair of underwear without elastic band.

When my mother turned into a swan, you were just an egg.

9. Give the future mother-in-law a bad review: the delivery is too slow, and no one has arrived yet.

10, don't want to get up! Because the stomach is flat only when lying down.

Give me a girl and I can create a country.

12. Wherever there is wifi, we call it a good place.

13, you rot and smoke one by one, and others treat you as a mental derangement and you still smile brightly.

14, every time I comfort others, I feel my heart is haggard.

15, how lovely it would be to go to school if books turned into piles of money.

16, don't fall asleep in class, just bury yourself on the wine table and get drunk ~

17. My boyfriend is a road idiot and hasn't found me yet.

18, there are obviously not enough liars in this world, because there are too many fools.

19, we dedicated the most perfect years to compulsory education.

20. I am in the Jianghu, but there are no legends about me in the Jianghu …

2 1, I was greedy before I knew it, and I gained weight after I knew it.

22, don't often stay up late, you know, I can't afford a national treasure.

23, I am highly myopic: 5 meters away, I can't see clearly whether it is a human or a dog.

24, high-rise buildings rise from the ground, glory can only rely on themselves.

25. When treating you as a person, please try to be human.

26. You are too lethal. I have been ill for several days since my last confession.

27. Who said I was black and fat when I started school? I killed him.

28. I'll chop my hand when I call you again. Anyway, my name is avalokitesvara.

29. Commitment is just a lie, and whoever believes it is a fool.

30. How long has my QQ penguin been following me? Is it not hot to wear a scarf every day?

3 1. There are almost thousands of lights a few nights before school starts.

The deadliest confession sentence

The deadliest confession sentence

1, "You will always be the most elegant, special and charming in my heart." The man combed his girlfriend's hair and said.

2. "You are drunk, and I am drunk for you." After drinking two mouthfuls of wine, the woman's face was red and her cheeks were red, so the man seized the opportunity to tell her gently.

3. "No matter what happens in the future, no matter what you become, you are still my favorite." The spoony man made a big vow to his girlfriend two months ago.

4. "It is meaningless to do things that have nothing to do with me." The man suggested that the woman keep the movie tickets she watched together as a souvenir.

5. "I wish I could meet you now." One day, after a sweet date, in the early hours of the morning, the man was still holding the receiver and said thoughtfully to her in the distance.

6. "I came to this world to know you." The man wrote the above words on the back of the photo with the woman.

7. "Anyway, as long as you I love can live safely, I have nothing more to ask for." My lover is married, and the groom is not me, the man said with tears and wished the bride well.

8. "Whenever you need me, I will come at once and do my best for you." When his girlfriend broke up, the man still looked puzzled and said he was still willing to go through fire and water for her.

9. "Never mind, you are just a little late!" Even though she was more than half an hour late, he said thoughtfully.

10, "I promise I won't let anyone hurt you, including myself, believe me! I will give you happiness. " When a woman is wronged in work or personnel, a man will hold her in his arms and whisper softly.

1 1, "If he treats you badly, be sure to tell me. I will never let him go. I will always be by your side to protect you. " She chose someone else, and the abandoned man still said affectionately.

12, "The person who can marry you must be very happy." On the first date, the man implicitly said to the married girl who had a crush for a long time.

13, "You brought me the biggest impact in my life, and I will remember it in my life." Both men and women broke up peacefully, the man said calmly and surely.

14, "Even if you don't love me, I will protect you all my life." The man said affectionately.

15, "You are my first and last lover." The boy said to his first love innocently and romantically.

16, "You are my last woman." Love prodigal or playboy said softly.

17, "I must live one minute longer than you, so that when you leave, let me hold your hand tightly, just like when we sleep on weekdays." A man and his beloved woman are whispering in bed.

18, "I will wait for you to come back." At the airport, my boyfriend hugged his girlfriend who was going to study abroad and then kissed her on the forehead.

19, "Nothing special, just want to hear your voice." A man makes a phone call when a woman is unexpected and whispers.

20. "I have seen countless women in my life, but I have never been so deeply shocked by a woman like you." The man who has been rolling in love for many years said to the new woman.

2 1, "You have been coming into my life, and I have been preparing for you all my life." The man took the ring out of his pocket and proposed to the woman with trepidation.

22. "I am willing to love you, take care of you and protect you all my life." At the wedding, the groom said to the bride with some tears in front of all relatives and friends.

23. "Give me some time, and I will break up with her as soon as possible. Don't worry, I'll make room for you. " A married man said firmly to his mistress.

24. "As long as you are always by my side, nothing else matters." The man said stupidly with his married girlfriend in his arms.

25. "As long as you are willing, when you are frustrated and need a shoulder, let me know and I will appear immediately." She doesn't love him, but he doesn't care, and he has no regrets when he says it.

26. "Being with you always makes me forget the existence of time." Obviously, after a day together, the man who sent the woman out of the house is reluctant to say goodbye.

27. "I miss you very much at the moment. Please take care of yourself for me. " Men don't forget to page their girlfriends at work and leave messages.

28. "I am willing to marry you." Loverboy said glibly to the ignorant girl.

29. "I don't care how much it costs as long as I can be with you." Love, even under the influence of external factors, the man has always said firmly and obstinately to his lover.

30. "I will never make a promise to any woman, and I will never do what I will do for you. How different you are in my mind! " The wise man said to the jealous woman.

Classic humorous quotations of super lethality

1, kill you with what, my love.

2, the cashier said, there is no change, give you two plastic bags!

3. My advantage is that I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

4. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman hits small monsters!

Others pretend to be in the office, so I have to pretend to be experienced.

6. I am a fat man, not a clown. let go ...

7. If Taiwan Province Province doesn't recover for a day, I won't pass Grade 4!

I won't go to work if the sun doesn't come out. If I come out, I'll go back to sleep!

9. Snails run wildly.

10, I have to watch the Forbes rich list every morning when I get up. If my name is not on it, I will go to work.

1 1, talking about money doesn't hurt feelings, but talking about feelings hurts money the most.

12, I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without seasoning packets. This look is very vacant.

13, the accountant said, "I'll get my salary later. I don't have any change here."

14, can you see my powder?

15. Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell a scum.

16, my name is Yu, and my nickname is Runtu.

17, invited Yangzhou fried rice, with more chopped green onion, less salt and more eggs, packed and taken away.

18, once I was in the street, a group of girls stopped me. They said I was handsome, but when I denied it, they hit me and called me hypocritical. Do not move. Give me a kiss first

19, both house and rot, the future is uncertain.

20. The most mysterious departments and related departments in history.

2 1, there is no denying that mosaic is the biggest obstacle to the progress of human art in this century!

22. There are only two things I can't do in my life, one can't do it and the other can't do it.

23. People have backgrounds, so do I..

24, the ideal of meat, the life of cabbage.

The micro-love words written to yourself are the most lethal.

Introduction: love is a feeling, even if it is painful, it will feel happy; Love is an experience, even if it is heartbreaking, it will feel sweet; Love is an experience, even if it is broken, it will feel beautiful. It takes only a moment to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Love is a matter for two people. Everyone is responsible for missing it. We always forget to love ourselves in the face of love. From this moment on, you should learn to love yourself!

1. The worst feeling in the world is that you can't fall in love with others because you still miss the person who hurt you.

Life is too short to leave us time to wake up with regrets every day. So love those who are kind to you and forget those who don't cherish you.

3. There is a kind of waiting, which will break people's hearts. Separated, once so in love, he will come back, right? You believe in good memories, soothe the loneliness of waiting, and tell yourself that as long as he is not married, there is still hope. However, memories also have a barren day. When your heart breaks, you finally know that you are not waiting for others, but waiting for yourself to give up.

When the days of youth pass away, you will miss yourself at that time. With a sigh, you said, "if only you could go back!" However, be wise now and don't make those stupid mistakes. However, youth is stupid. At that time, I cried because I was helpless and angry. Even the fingers that wiped my tears were pitiful and stupid. Unlike many years after my youth stopped, I cried because you tasted real sadness.

5. Time has passed, and we have forgotten that we once loved a person without hesitation, forgotten his tenderness, and forgotten everything he did for me. I have no feelings for him. I no longer love him. Why is this happening? It turns out that our love lost to time.

6. Everyone who says he doesn't want to fall in love has someone in his heart that he can't get.

7. It is a miracle that the person you love loves you at the same time. The gods named this miracle love.

8. There is a kind of waiting that will break your heart. Lovers can always see through lies and pretend not to see them, just because they still love him or have hopes and fantasies about him; Tell yourself over and over again that he loves me. One day, he belongs to me alone, and he will never lie to me again. After a long wait, no way back. When your heart breaks, you finally know that you have been lying to yourself.

9. There are only two kinds of women in the world, one is happy and the other is strong. Happiness is held in the palm of your hand. You don't need to be strong, but you should be strong.

10, I can't forget it, I just don't want to forget it. Once, because of you, I tried to be happy.

1 1, it was once, and then it was once. The same tune can't recognize the previous melody. I'm just a little unhappy, but you'll never talk to me again.

12, the glory of fireworks is short-lived, and many loves are as short-lived as fireworks. Will our love be the same?

13, disappointment is sometimes a kind of happiness, because you have expectations, you will be disappointed. Because there is love, there will be expectations, so even disappointment is a kind of happiness, although this happiness is a bit painful.

14. The saddest distance in the world is that two people are far apart and don't know each other. Suddenly one day, they met and fell in love, and the distance became very close. Then one day, they stopped falling in love, and the two people who were very close became far away, even farther away than before.

15, loneliness is not innate, but starts from the moment you fall in love with someone.

16, like a person, no pain. It may be a long pain to love someone, but the happiness he gives me is also the greatest happiness in the world.

17, two people are together for happiness, and breaking up is to alleviate pain. You can't make me happy anymore. I have to leave. When I left, it was also very painful. However, you must be more miserable than me, because I said goodbye first, and I was the first person to pursue happiness.

18, origin and extinction, thick margin and light margin, which is beyond our control. What we can do is to cherish the short time when karma met.

19. Why do you forget someone so painfully? Time will make you forget. If time can't make you forget people you shouldn't remember, what's the point of our lost years?

I thought that love can conquer everything, but who knows that she sometimes has no strength. I thought that love can fill the regrets in life, but it is love that creates more regrets. Rain or shine, repeated in a love. For another person, the sky will not be blue forever.

2 1. The same person cannot give you the same pain. When he repeatedly hurts you, the wound is used to it and he feels numb. No matter how many times you hurt him, it is far less painful than the first injury.

22. If I don't love you, I won't miss you, I won't be jealous of the opposite sex around you, I won't lose confidence and fighting spirit, and I won't suffer. If only I couldn't love you.

23. Forgetting a lost relationship and someone who no longer loves you is as painful as quitting drug addiction. When you are addicted to drugs, your whole body is shaking, your body is twisted and your insides are tumbling. You want to hit the wall, you fall to the ground and struggle, crying and losing your dignity as a human being. But who told you to take drugs? Everything has a price? You should have known from the beginning.

24. Your heart is the corner of my sea and the end of the world. I can't go any further. We have traveled to the ends of the earth in this life, not halfway around the world, but accompanied by human beings.

25. We are afraid of years, but we don't know how happy we are to be alive. We think life is boring, but many people are struggling between life and death. When will we be grateful for what we have?

Editor's note: Sometimes, the world is so big that we never have a chance to meet it in our lifetime. Sometimes, the world is small and I can see your smiling face when I look up. So, when you meet, please be grateful; When you love each other, please cherish it; When you turn around, please be elegant; Please be sure to smile when you say goodbye. If we break up, please remember that we used to be good for life!