A dirty joke.

A wonderful answer between female teachers and students

A first-grade female teacher was recently troubled by one of his students. The teacher asked, "What's the matter with you? 」

The student replied, "I'm so smart. Grade one is too easy for me. I am smarter than my sister, but she is in grade three. I think I should also go to grade three! 」

The teacher has had enough of him. So she took the students to the principal's office.

She explained the situation of the students to the headmaster.

The headmaster suggested giving the students a test. If he answers any questions wrong, he should stay in the first grade. The teacher agreed.

The student was called into the office, and the teacher explained to him what the headmaster meant, and the student agreed.

Principal: "What is 3 times 3? 」

Student: "9. 」

Principal: "What's six times six? 」

Student: "36. 」

In this way, the headmaster asked a lot of questions in grade 3, and the students got them right.

So the principal said to the student's teacher, "I think he can go to class in the third grade." 」

The student's teacher said, "Let me ask him some questions. 」

Both the principal and the students agreed.

Teacher: "What has four cows and I only have two?"? 」

Student: "Legs. 」

Teacher: "What's in your pants but not in mine? The headmaster was surprised at the questions raised by the intern teacher. Why did she ask these questions? The headmaster thought. )

Student: "Pocket. 」

Teacher: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, with a lot of hairs on it, an oval shape and intoxicating milky white liquid in it?" ? The headmaster's eyes opened wide, trying to stop the teacher from asking more questions. The student replied, "Coconut. 」

Teacher: "What is red and hard when it goes in and soft and sticky when it comes out?" ? 」

Student: "Bubble gum. 」

Teacher: "What do men do when standing, what do women do when sitting, and what do dogs do with three legs?" ? 」

Student: "Shake hands. 」

The teacher thought for a moment and said, "Now, may I ask you some questions about' Guess what I am'? 」

Student: "Good! 」

Teacher: "You stick a stick in me, put me on it, and then hold me. I was soaked to the skin before that. 」

Student: "Tent. 」

Teacher: "Fingers will get into me. You will play with me when you are unhappy. The best man will have me forever. 」

Student: "Wedding ring. 」

Teacher: "Something big and small has entered me. When I feel uncomfortable, I will drip. When you blow me, you will feel very comfortable. 」

Student: "Nose. 」

Teacher: "I have a hard pole, and my head can be inserted into something else." Then, that thing will tremble all over. 」

Student: "Arrow. 」

Teacher: "What word starts with F and ends with K, which has exciting meaning?" . 」

Student: "Fire engine. 」

When the teacher's question was finally finished, the headmaster breathed a sigh of relief, wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, "Let the students go to the fifth grade. I answered all the ten questions you just asked wrong. " 」……

2. Girls beat boys.

One day at the school forum, I saw a boy posting:

hum

girl student

Delicious leftovers

Rub every meal.

Go crazy at the sight of handsome guys

Follow brazenly

The number of idolaters has increased dramatically.

A girl said her surname was Feng.

Don't want me to marry her.

I will turn off the lights after I sleep in the bridal chamber at night.

She boasted that Mei Fong kicked me.

I said she was really arrogant and crazy.

She said there should be only women in the world.

Whether she lives on the thirteenth or fourteenth floor.

I also called you an idiot. How can you have such a child?

It is true that she said that she would ask the audience to correct their mistakes.

I was so angry that I had to touch my scar.

Such a girl must have been crazy eight generations ago.

I want to break up, whether you are an undergraduate, a graduate student or a fart student.

-Dedicated to all the girls who live in Building 13.

Heart really unhappy, I come back to:

pah

schoolchild

not serious

Such as pure love.

Chasing girls will know.

Play guitar and flirt.

What if there is no originality?

There is a boy with a compound surname of Simon.

Say you love me, my heart hurts and my head is dizzy.

He always follows me when I do exercises and study by myself.

Repeated attitude is also sincere and sincere.

I didn't continue the class struggle and turn the enemy into an ally.

I bumped into him and a girl one day.

Walking hand in hand in the depths of the garden, it's raining.

I walked past without looking sideways, and my hands didn't relax.

I don't care if you are such a boy.

Don't say your love is in a dilemma. It hurts to see me sad.

I want to see you now, never again.

-to all the boys who can't live on 13 floor! !

Funny roll call-super funny

When I was in a law class in my sophomore year, our law teacher had a hobby. She likes to ask questions, and she must repeat them loudly before asking them. Once when he was teaching the general principles of civil law, suddenly the teacher raised his voice and began to ask questions. All the students stared at the teacher in fear for fear of being shouted. Because the teacher asked questions instead of roll call, he looked at the roll call and asked questions, so no one had to bow their heads.

"25th, 1 class!" The teacher ordered.

There was silence (Zhang San was in a daze) ...

"25th-zhang SAN! Are you here? " The teacher repeated, brush! The whole classroom looked at Zhang San.

"Didn't come!" Zhang San shouted. The whole class was stunned! But I soon began to admire Zhang San's courage.

"Why didn't you come?" The teacher asked again.

"He is ill!" Zhang San had no choice but to lie, and the whole class burst into laughter.

"Are you from his dormitory?" The teacher was also confused by the inexplicable laughter.

"yes." Faced with the teacher's questioning, Zhang San turned green.

"What a pity! Go back and tell him to come to my office this afternoon! " The class laughed again.

"ah? ! All right. " Zhang San's scalp began to tingle. Who can I be scolded for this afternoon? It's just Li Si, alas, I have to treat that boy again.

Zhang San was glad to avoid a question when the teacher added, "Why don't you answer this question for him?"

"ah! ? "Zhang San barely stood up, and it is conceivable that someone in the classroom has hurt his stomach with laughter.

"Teacher, can you repeat the question you asked?"

"ah! ! I have repeated this question three times. How do you go to class? "

"Sorry, I didn't catch that!" Zhang San already has sweat on his forehead.

"Well, I'll say it again."

"I, report the teacher, I will not answer this question." Zhang San thought that he was going to die anyway, so why die so cowardly? So he got up with confidence.

"Well, come to my office with Zhang Sanyi at two o'clock in the afternoon!" All the students laughed until they spurted blood.

From then on, no one in the law class dared to say that XXX didn't come.

The reason for sleeping in class

The first quarter is in a bad mood, so take a nap.

I should have woken up in the second quarter, but I fell asleep when I saw the teacher.

I'm too tired to sleep in the third quarter. Take a rest and sleep.

There is an old saying in the fourth quarter: sleeping before meals is the noblest; Sleeping after meals is the most auspicious thing. Sleep again.

The fifth part is the same as the fourth part. Go to sleep.

The sixth section cultivates the mood of the next class. Go to sleep.

I slept in six quarters before the seventh festival, so go to sleep.

Section 8 Go back to sleep with your girlfriend at night. How can I sleep with her if I don't get enough sleep? Sleep again.

Sleep ten thousand! Sleep ten thousand! ! !

Ten classic students interjected in class.

1. In high school, the whole school should wear school uniforms, and some repeat students never wear them. The teacher in charge of this field squats at the door every day to check. One day, the teacher saw that the classmate didn't wear a school uniform and asked him why he didn't wear it. This classmate was furious and said, my mother is not dead. Why should I wear mourning clothes?

2. An art teacher is very famous. A newspaper has a big report with photos, so he boasted in class: "Recently, some classmates always told me that you are really good. You have published photos in the newspaper ..." A student: "Looking for you?" From then on, the art teacher refused the student to take art classes.

In Chinese class, the teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer the questions. This classmate is in a daze and can't speak. The teacher said helplessly, "Will you?" I won't scream either! Classmate: "Cheep." "The teacher is sweating.

4. The entrance examination is coming soon. One day in geography class, the teacher reported a place name on it. Let's answer the local minerals. After talking about many places, the teacher suddenly asked, "What is produced in Jiangnan?" The boys in the class said in unison: "Jiangnan produces beautiful women!"

In junior high school, a biology teacher once talked about the ecological environment on the African grassland, but no one in the class listened, so he got angry and said, "You all look at me! If you don't look at me, how do you know what African wildcats look like? "

6. In an advanced mathematics class, the teacher asked my brother, "Calculus is a very useful subject. What is the goal of our study of calculus? " The man deserted at that time. Without thinking, he shouted, "No cavities!" " "The whole class burst into laughter.

7. In biology class, the teacher said, "In fact, weasels don't eat chickens. The scientists did an experiment. They once locked a chicken and a weasel together. Guess what the next day is? " The classmate chimed in: "Is the chicken pregnant?"

8. In senior three, the geometry teacher is an old lady who likes to brag and is particularly annoying. One day in class, he said, "I am highly valued by the Municipal Education Bureau. They always invite me to study the problem together, and I pick up the car every time. " I accidentally asked, "Three rounds?" As a result, I was banned from geometry class for a week.

9. In high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) thought that we boys wouldn't listen, so she cursed, "What are you thinking?" I was at a loss and said inexplicably, "I miss you!" " "There was a long silence in the classroom, but a pair of frightened eyes were looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and cursed: "you smelly rascal!" " "Illegal!

10. In high school, I had my first labor class. The teacher was an old man and introduced himself: "My name is Wu Shushan." I immediately had a brainwave and immediately replied: "Looking at Chang 'an in the northwest, there are countless mountains. "The whole class laughed, the teacher was livid, and then I was punished for heavy work.