Nutrition joke

In hot summer, the temperature is quite high. Listen to cold jokes in summer! The following is a cold joke I arranged for you, which is interesting! I hope you like it!

( 1)

Today, a woman dressed as a nun sold a small pendant with a bodhisattva pattern at the station, and kept talking about Buddhism and Taoism to keep peace and so on. I was a little annoyed, so I asked how much it cost and bought it to let her go. Who knows what she said? Donor, we monks don't talk about money, we talk about fate! ? I'm a little puzzled: what fate answers? 20 yuan! ?

(2)

? Why is time a butcher's knife, or are there so many good-looking people who look so good no matter how long it takes? Silly boy, that's because the pig knife only kills pigs. ?

(3)

Today, Uncle Liu in his 80 s and Uncle Wang in his 70 s fought in the nursing home. Everyone suspected that the chef pulled them away more and asked what was going on. Uncle Wang said angrily: I wanted to beat him as early as primary school, and now I can finally beat him! ?

(4)

drink

A:? Do you drink?

b:？ Don't drink! ?

A:? So what do you think of people who drink?

b:？ Business is good for drinkers! ?

A:? What about red wine?

b:？ Many fans! ?

A:? What about beer?

(5)

Search nearby girls! Suddenly feel useful? Hello? Greeting is a bit old-fashioned, so I thought for a long time and finally came up with a satisfactory usage? Gently, I'm coming? . After a while, a sister replied to me: roll for me gently ~

(6)

I saw a traffic accident on my way to work this morning.

The policeman asked the driver: How did you hit the bank with your car?

The driver said aggrieved: I just drove a little faster, and when I hit the wall, I suddenly saw a sign next to it that said? No parking here? I dare not brake. . . I touched it.

(7)

Walking the dog outside, suddenly a killer jumped out and killed the dog.

I asked: Why did you kill my dog?

The killer replied: someone bought your dog's life.

I am happy to ask: Who is your Chinese teacher? I wrapped him a red envelope.

Later, the more we talked, the more speculative we became.

The killer suddenly asked: Where is the girlfriend from?

I said: I don't have a girlfriend yet!

The killer suddenly stabbed the knife and said, single dog is also a dog!

(8)

I have been secretly in love with a girl from the same department for a long time, and I have never had the courage to confess. Today is Valentine's Day, and I want to take this opportunity to express my love to her.

I waited for her at the gate of her class after studying by myself that night. I'm nervous to see her. I forgot everything I thought, and I didn't know what to say, so I had to say, I'll take you home.

She said: No, I'm waiting for my boyfriend.

I was confused, and then I said, I'll take you both home.

(9)

Summer health reminder: When summer comes, try to eat more tomatoes or watermelons and try to eat less mangoes, lychees, kiwis and raisins. Nutrition experts from the Affiliated Hospital of Peking University Medical College explained that tomatoes and watermelons are cheaper. It doesn't hurt to eat too much.

( 10)

Before the college entrance examination, the teacher said that you should not dwell on the questions you can't do for too long, just skip them.

I found myself jumping one question after another during the exam and couldn't stop.

( 1 1)

Before the college entrance examination: Mom, I'm hungry! ?

Mom:? The meal is ready, so hurry up and eat! ?

After the college entrance examination: Mom, I'm hungry! ?

Mom:? Cook later. ?

Half an hour later: Mom, I'm starving! ?

Mom:? I'm starving, and I can still talk! ?

( 12)

After the college entrance examination, I said to my dad: Parents of other children go to the college entrance examination, give money to bring meals, and you won't go to my college entrance examination.

My dad said: Who said I wouldn't go? I went with watermelon and cold drinks. It was too hot to let in the gate, so I ate watermelon and drank cold drinks by myself.

Me. . .

( 13)

According to incomplete statistics, this statistic is incomplete.

( 14)

Who would have thought that America's neighbor was USB?

( 15)

If you lose the game, it must be your teammate. If my teammates are good, I can win without them.

( 16)

The only lesson people learn from history is that people never learn from history!

(XVII)

? Why are there so many homosexuals in our country?

? Because of the large population base?

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