Sentences about humor

1. Why is your nonsense more than the advertisement of Hunan Satellite TV?

2. I want to be as thin as lightning to illuminate all the wretched fat people.

3. Being fat and delicate is almost better than being thin.

4. Without hair, dandruff is more prominent.

5. Brush the toilet with the landlord's toothbrush when you are depressed.

6. Cucumber lies in shooting, and life lies in hey.

7. The mind is a commodity, not an ornament.

8. whose husband is a fucking temporary worker

9. Just because you show half your ass doesn't mean you are sexy, it only means that your underwear is small.

10. Your smile is brighter than shit in the sun.

1 1. If two people are together for a long time, gazing at each other is also a romantic thing.

12. My heart is not a bus. I don't want you to sit down if there is a vacant seat.

13. Count the stars with me. Count the moon if your IQ is low.

14. mermaid, I love you. Only you won't cheat.

15. My ears are not trash cans. Don't throw anything here.

16. Life is like a trip, and you may capsize somewhere.

17. You play diving brother, and you play lurking.

18. The most useless thing in the world is the pay slip. I get angry when I read it. I wipe my ass too carefully.

19. Medicine can't cure false diseases, and wine can't solve real worries.

20. Sorry, the signature is too personalized, so the system can't display it. Please refresh.

2 1. Life is like poop, and we are intoxicated by it like dung beetles.

22. Leave the last sip of water to comrades in need! Give me that bottle of orange juice.

23. Some people make masks that look much better than real people.

24. I also want to be an elegant lady. Life forced me to be a bitch.

25. What thick-skinned people often say is that I am good to you.

26. Do you know what a big shot is? Is a little person who has been working hard.

27. For men, milk is the mother. For women, money is lang.

28. Looking at your photo, I want to hang it on the wall in black and white!

29. How much sadness can you have is like a bundle of snowflake beer.

30. Eat up all your health, gamble all your money and fuck all your people to death.

3 1. Excuse me: Is it the sun or the moon in the sky? Sorry, I'm not from here!

32. The reason for refusing to confess is often that we are not from the same world. Am I from Mars? Not suitable for earth people?

In order to buy a 20xx air ticket, I am trying to make money now.

34. Don't fire me because I have a caller ID.

35. Do you think you are beautiful when people call you Youlemei? Do you know that Youlemei is a disposable appliance?

36. The signature is changed every day, which is free anyway.

37. The boss was holding a bowl and was in tears.

38. I chased you with Cupid's arrow and flew in a bulletproof vest.

40. Being dead is not terrible. The terrible thing is that you dare not die.

4 1. I am not a bone. I can't let every dog run after me.

42. I am not a straw boat. Don't let your bitch come to me.

Life is like anxiety. There is no accurate lyrics, but it is thrilling.

44. 10086 is good for me. I sent him a short message and he replied to me three times.

45. The hostess cried. Because Xiao Si ruined its beautiful life.

46.a: Sister, if someone hurts you, how long will you forgive him? B: It is God's business to forgive him. My task is to send him to God.

47. Every girl wants to have a myna, but unfortunately not everyone can be a A Qing legend.

48. Man, man, I hope you are a good man.

49. I have a good personality and my parents have no worries.

50. Broken-hearted men jump at sunset.

Humorous sentences about hot weather in summer

Humorous sentences about hot weather in summer (1) 1. Motherly love supported me to take him to the zoo in the hot afternoon of 37 degrees.

2.？ It's too hot in summer, so you should pay attention to your health. Add clothes when it is cold in the morning and evening, and go out for sun protection; Drink plenty of water to protect your body and often eat fruit nutritional supplements; Don't ignore heatstroke prevention at ordinary times, and life can be happier!

3.？ In winter in first frost, the cold wind blows gently. The seasons are warm and cold, and the feelings are not long or short. The more greetings, the better, and remind you to add clothes. Words are brisk and warm the heart. Knowing each other is precious. May it warm your heart. Take care in the cold season!

4.？ It's too hot. I just met a stranger on the road, smiled at each other and became familiar.

5.？ Some long branches of wisteria are covered with lilacs, and the petals are clustered together and arranged in order, just like a group of little girls who change their dance queues from time to time.

6.？ Flowers are in full bloom in June. Colorful flowers decorate the city landscape, and dark green leaves cover the early summer scenery. Mosquitoes and birds are enjoying a wonderful summer time in their own world.

7.？ Wake up in the morning and at noon. What about at night? I woke up several times last night. It's too hot.

8.？ The lotus leaf in the pond looks like a colorful sail on the blue waves from a distance, which is really beautiful.

9.？ Good morning, 37 degrees is so unfriendly.

10.？ The weather is as hot as a joke and life is like nonsense.

1 1.？ The summer wind is blowing gently. Thank you for remembering me.

12.？ The weather is unbearably hot-in the shadow of cactus, the temperature is as high as Fahrenheit 125 degrees.

13.？ To the summer when we will die of heat!

14.？ Spring is coming! Look, the melting ice water woke up the stream. Ding Dong, Ding Dong, is like a magical singer of nature, singing crisp and sweet songs and rushing forward.

15.？ Everything will be fine. Even if it is hot, I still want to fill myself with a bowl of chicken soup.

16.？ In midsummer, it is so hot that even dragonflies only dare to fly near the shade, as if they were afraid that the sun would burn their wings.

17.？ Lying on the mat feels like an iron ox fillet.

18.？ I just bought some eggs from the supermarket and went home. After a few steps, the chicken climbed out of the bag. When I saw the eggs in the bag, they were all chickens.

19.？ Don't wait for everyone to say you are ugly before you find yourself really ugly!

20.？ Four treasures of health care in late autumn: lotus root is the first choice for moistening dryness, appetizing, clearing heat and relieving cough; Almonds are the first choice for lung tonic, and stewed pig lungs are delicious; Honey is the first choice for nourishing yin and moistening intestines, detoxifying and invigorating spleen; Grapes are the first choice for acidity, which is beneficial to qi and blood. I wish you good health and all the best!

Humorous sentences about hot weather in summer (2) 1. Like the cool breeze in April, like the warm wind in summer, crossing the streets and lanes, absorbing the anger lit by cigarettes, and bringing some distant fragrance, it makes me feel as if you really exist in this world, so that I don't worry about the passage of spring and look forward to the arrival of summer.

2.？ It's so hot that my hair is like boiling water. How hot it is!

3.？ The weather is hot in early autumn, and the mood is really wonderful; You can see that your body is hot, and you can run around in shorts. When it is hot, insert an ice cream and the bathtub will bubble; Watermelon and melon are chewed indiscriminately, and sweat is used as glue. Let go of your troubles on the spot and be happy and happy.

4.？ The weather is getting hotter and hotter, and the hot summer is coming. The sun is always scorching the earth, and cicadas are chirping desperately in the trees, probably because of the hot weather.

5.？ You said, don't dress so conservatively on such a hot day!

6.？ Summer is about to fly, it rains and thunders, and suddenly there is a power outage, and suddenly there is a hint of coolness under the high temperature of 37 degrees every day.

7.？ There was not a cloud or wind in the air, and all the trees stood there listlessly in the hot sun overhead.

8.？ Will it kill you to go out in Martin boots at 37 degrees?

9.？ Goose, goose, goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and add water, light the fire and cover the pot.

10.？ Going out to eat at noon, the distance from one air conditioner to another is so hot that I just want to go back to the air-conditioned room as soon as possible. It was my parents who gave me life, but now I cling to the air conditioner. How can I live up to my parents!

1 1.？ It's 37 degrees outside I'm buying autumn clothes. I don't know where I come from.

12.？ The sun shone through the dense leaves of elm trees and cast shadows on the ground. The south wind in late summer and early autumn brought the new fragrance of wheat and wormwood. Late summer and early autumn in northern Manchuria are beautiful seasons and the best days of the year. The weather is neither too cold nor too hot, and there is still some cyan in the field, so people are not too busy.

13.？ The weather is sultry, there is no wind, and the thick air seems to be frozen.

14.？ It's hot, I have a lot of homework, I'm anxious, I'm upset, and I don't want to do anything.

15.？ I don't know where the bird went; The vegetation is dejected and despondent, as if dying; Only cicadas keep chirping in the branches; It's really breaking gongs and drums to cheer for the scorching sun!

16.？ I don't know about the heat, but I regret the long summer.

17.？ In summer, the pond is full of lotus flowers, the breeze is blowing gently, cicadas are singing, trees are dancing, water is gurgling, and fish and birds are swimming. The hot summer is here. I send you a little poem to make you feel good in summer. It is refreshing to have your company.

18.？ Scorching: describes the intense sunshine in summer, which means very hot. Example: The scorching sun scorches the rice seedlings.

19.？ When it rains, I will hold an umbrella for you. When the weather is hot, I will wipe your sweat. When the road is difficult, I will help you. When setbacks come, I will help you to be brave. You are white-haired and have no regrets. My world is the most precious to you.

20.？ The blazing fire umbrella is in the air, so hot that fish in the river dare not surface and birds dare not fly out of the mountains. Even the dogs in the village just stick out their tongues and gasp endlessly.

Humorous sentences about hot weather in summer (3) 1. It's too hot today! It feels like smoke! Drink a cup of milk tea and move on.

2.？ Run at 37 degrees and be a Paris tourist on a hot summer day.

3.？ Summer, symbolizing a hundred flowers blooming, means hot weather. Summer is beautiful and lovely. I like beautiful summer.

4.？ I want to say very hot, very hot. Let me stay indoors honestly in this weather during the day and don't want to go anywhere.

5.？ Inviting you out to dinner in this weather must be the difference between life and death, and it's all about lifelong events!

7.？ Happiness belongs to both of you. Congratulations, I'll give two interviews tomorrow, and the temperature is 37 degrees.

8.？ How do I know that summer is coming? I woke up this morning and found five packages bitten by mosquitoes.

9.？ Hou Yi, your mother asked you to come out and shoot the sun.

10.？ What women struggle with in summer is that they are afraid of sweating and makeup. What is tangled in winter is: What if I want to show my thighs but it is too cold?

1 1.？ It's hot, I'll ask Sister Caterpillar to bring you some kisses, and I'll ask Aunt Mosquito to sing you a lullaby every night. Don't be polite to me, there is a better gift for you!

12.？ The weather is a bit sultry, and the outdoor temperature has been very high. Seeing that you don't like going out, I'll give you an early autumn gift. Solve your loneliness, harass it from time to time and let you know what I think. The gift is a mosquito, don't be too moved!

13.？ Standing on 7cm high heels for nearly 40 stations, the temperature was 37 degrees, climbing the mountain, and crying for myself again.

14.？ Eat less spicy food, the weather itself is very hot in summer, and it is easy to get angry when eating spicy food. Friends who like spicy food should hold back.

15.？ 37 degrees is really risking your life to record the beauty.

16.？ The sun hangs in the sky like a big fireball. It stung us hard to open our eyes. On the way, the asphalt was softened by the sun. A heat wave hit the face and made people breathless. On the big trees on both sides of the road, cicadas kept barking, as if to say, it's hot, it's hot. The flowers bowed their heads and the grass bent down, all looking listless. Where are the children? Hiding in the swimming pool one by one Look at the children in the swimming pool next to you. They are so dense that only their small heads are exposed.

17.？ The wind in summer is very warm. It feels comfortable to blow on your body. The wind in summer is not only the fragrance of the earth, the beauty of flowers and birds, but also a unique and pure youth.

18.？ When flowers bloom in May, pollen allergy should be avoided. The sun is warm in summer, so take an umbrella when you go out for sun protection. Look at the weather when it thunders and rains, and don't catch a cold when it is cold and hot; Happy nurses' day!

19.？ Are you asleep? I sent mosquitoes to bite you; Do you like spicy food? I send flies to bother you; You forgot me? I let bees get into your stomach. Bajie, when you come back from the scriptures, you should always contact me, or you won't be disturbed by your eldest brother again!

20.？ It is said that you have to wait until the melon is ripe. Really eager to unload the goods early! I really can't stand this hot summer! It's too hot!

Humorous sentences about hot weather in summer (4) 1. The roadside trees are lush, and cicadas sing in unison, as if boasting about their seasons.

2.？ We are all "acquaintances" and Lori has become a "mature woman".

3.？ In summer, the clear river has become a good place for children to escape the heat. You see, they are frolicking in the water, having a water fight for a while, fishing for a while, and having a good time.

4.？ Yue Lao: Now everyone who is looking for someone is interested in seeing the constellations. No matter whether it is cold or hot, they will always seek Aquarius to quench their thirst.

5.？ Although I didn't do anything, I was still sweating like a pig.

6.？ In the high temperature of 7 degrees, I found a group of cloudy pictures of last month and silently began to look forward to autumn.

7.？ The coldest breakup is that it is too hot, and it is even hotter when we are together.

8.？ Finally, the summer vacation is over. The thought of a wonderful holiday makes people happy. The beautiful day of sleeping and waking up naturally has arrived.

9.？ In early summer, pomegranate flowers gradually open, and the green leaves are lined with safflower, which is very beautiful. Seen from a distance, it looks like a blazing fire and a red sunset rising at dusk.

10.？ As soon as the sun came out, the ground seemed to be on fire.

1 1.？ 7-degree high-temperature saw, climbing the mountain for 4 hours, deliberately skipping lunch to show the leader what syncope is.

12.？ It's sultry today, and the baby is running around and thinking about it all the time. Don't drink more water! Just in time for Chinese Valentine's Day, I send you a long blessing. May I kiss my baby and be happy all the time! In this hot season, enjoy the coolness alone!

13.？ The summer sun is like a big stove, scorching the earth. Even the air is hot, and people sweat when they move.

14.？ After the last high temperature of 37 degrees tomorrow, I can be my hero again!

15.？ Today, the weather is really sultry. The sun is burning. Burn the stone very hot. Can burn a match, can boil a drop of water on a stone.

16.？ People who are willing to accompany you bored every day in such hot weather are absolutely true love.

17.？ I went down to the Chenghuang Temple and Wukanglou at a high temperature of 37 degrees, and I felt like I was going to collapse on the way. I am cute on a hot day.

18.？ Happiness doesn't matter to you; "Green mood" makes you happy every day; "watermelon frost" makes you feel good from your mouth; Ice cream brings you cool summer; Send you warm wishes by SMS. Wish: a cool summer.

19.？ My body is dying of heat in Chongqing, and my soul will be with you.

20.？ No one who doesn't know him has ever eaten pork.

Funny and humorous sentences

1) Okubo Matsuo is dead, but she will live in my C, D, E, F and mobile disks forever.

2) I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!

3) Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, it means to catch, not not not to catch. More unfortunately, the soul and body have not felt that itch for a long time.

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am in front of you!

5) An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

6) Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

7) Behind every successful man, there is a woman who tortures him.

8) About thongs: I used to take off my underwear to see my ass; Now, take out your ass and look at your underwear.

9) Fuck love!

Carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

A complete collection of interesting and humorous sentences

1) be a person who wanders between cow a and cow C.

2) Does bleeding hurt?

3) People without medical insurance and life insurance should not try to be brave after dark.

4) Don't always tell me the story of Social B as an ordinary person! Why can't Baidu search you again? No matter how tough you are, you can't hold your urine, can you?

5) Century, the most important thing to me!

6) It is gold, which will always be spent; This is a mirror. It always reflects light.

7) Shout loudly: My illness is finally saved!

8) I have a kind heart. Usually even stepping on an ant can recite Buddhist scriptures. Chuangjian died and built a grave for him. I was even more afraid of being single and lonely after his death, so I stepped on dozens of ants to accompany him. I tried my best.

9) Men pretend to understand if they don't understand, while women are just the opposite.

10) If Taiwan Province Province doesn't recover, I won't pass the grade in one day!

1 1) The beauty of life comes from your love for life; The innocence of friendship comes from your sincere treatment of friends.

12) The premise of a person's luck is actually that he has the ability to change himself.

13) When the sauce of instant noodles changes from liquid to solid, otaku will know that summer has gone far.

14) God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made my heart ache and tired.

15) wonderful message from men who work overtime on weekends: woman, you slowly clean up the house at home, and I will go out to clean the world for you.

16) failure is not terrible, the key is to see if this failure is a successful mother.

17) You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention, but God has a temper. You should live bravely to set off the beauty of the world.

18) Cherish every encounter, remember every happiness, care about every separation, enjoy every romance, bless every love, and may all lovers be well.

19) You have one second to acupuncture, but I have to spend my whole life solving it.

20) Don't always ask when the pain comes: Why me? Because you didn't ask this question when happiness came.

2 1) Wait for me to make a comeback.

22) Don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

23) Grandpa was handed down from his grandson.

24) The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath!

Love is like sand in your hand. The tighter you hold it, the faster it will run.

26) I have been in love several times because of loneliness. Who knows that it is easy to be kicked after repeated battles and defeats!

27) They said I was BT and asked me to do CT, but I turned out to be ET.

28) Everyone says I'm an actor, because my eyes roll when I see a beautiful MM.

29) How nice it would be for your parents to go for a walk that minute!

30) The boy is poor, otherwise he doesn't know how to struggle; The girl is full, or some flowers will be abducted.

3 1) Lie down where you fell.

32) What can you do to kill your lover?

33) For people who always like to talk about what they used to be, our boss said: You used to wear open-backed pants, do you still wear them now?

34) God gave us worldly desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

35) Exercise muscles to prevent being beaten!

36) Life is sometimes forced by eunuchs. Resistance is painful, but it is still painful not to resist!

37) The greatest sorrow in life is not that you can't get anything, nor lose anything, but that you don't know what you want at all.

38) I really want to call your grandfather in person: Dad!

39) If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

40) If handsome can be a meal, then my handsome can support hundreds of millions of people.

Humorous sentences

1, boy, you are my sister's man, hang a card with me today!

I used to be a person living in a dream, but I found that the dream was no longer reliable.

3. Love precedes sex, and sex precedes love, just as eggs precede chickens and chickens precede eggs. It's hard to say which is truth and which is more noble than the other.

4. Don't look back, my brother only loves your back.

5, Mei Mei May I love you, like a mouse loves rice, you are my bread when I am hungry, you are my fruit knife when I commit suicide, you are my heart, you are my liver, you are three quarters of my life!

When I saw you, I lost my appetite. What about sexual desire?

7. Love makes people forget time, and time also makes people forget love.

8. Don't blame the dog for following a steamed stuffed bun.

9. I like you so much that you will die.

10, the beauty of learning is that people are confused; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

1 1, what the first-class heavy smoker thinks in Greater China. People who smoke second class can't estimate three or five wives. Third-class smokers are on their own. No one knows that fourth-class smokers are exhausted by cigarettes.

12, wife: Please! Stop drinking for me! Husband: Nonsense! I didn't drink it for you.

13, I wish you: high position, light responsibility, more money and less work, close to home, sleeping until dawn every day, hand cramps, spending money to give you gifts, others working overtime to give you a raise!

14, a farmer keeps a group of pigs. One day, he found that one was missing. He asked the other pigs where they had gone. Other pigs said: that pig is reading mobile phone messages in the corner!

15, you have never been loved, and you will cherish those who love you in the future.

16, all the beautiful moments in the world are everywhere, that's what you mean.

17, don't comfort me if you leave me, because every sewing will also meet with puncture pain.

18, I really love you. I closed my eyes and thought I could forget, but the tears I shed didn't deceive myself.

19, when I love you, you are a beauty; When I hate you, you are a zombie!

20. Being single is an understanding, falling in love is a mistake, breaking up is an awareness, getting married is a mistake, divorce is an awakening, remarriage is a bigotry, having no lover is a waste, and many lovers are animals.

2 1, the work is so interesting! Especially watching others work.

22. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chickens all day. There is something wrong with the chicken's brain. It doesn't eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are anxious, so they hide to see the chickens. Silly chicken didn't pay attention, secretly looking at his mobile phone.

23. You are the most beautiful in my eyes: a hooked nose, a toad's mouth, a round-legged mouse's eyes, a mouth under my nose, and my mouth is dripping.

24, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird.

25. No matter how big a woman's business is, it's a small matter, and no matter how small a brother's business is, it's also a big matter. Is to eat in one place for a lifetime, not in one place for a lifetime.

26. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love; we?

27. When you fall in love with someone, you will always be a little scared and afraid of getting him; Afraid of losing him.

28. Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is married.

29. An unmarried woman lamented: Why do all good men become husbands? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can learn by himself.

30. Format yourself just to delete you.

3 1, experiencing a love is like eating chocolate. Even if chocolate is free, it costs money to lose weight.

I love you, and I am willing to give up everything, including you, for your happiness.

You can see the words I typed on the screen, but you can't see the tears I dropped on the keyboard.

34. I regret falling in love for four years in college, and I regret not falling in love for a lifetime in college!

35. Saying that money is evil is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

36. Offline people never know how long online people have been waiting for her. For a woman, I will do anything for my brother, anything for my brother.

37. Is there a moment when you will think of me?

If you want to be loved by others, you must first make yourself worthy of love, not for a day or a week, but forever.

39. The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet in, but you know everything when you go out.

40. The image of a man has only one use: soaking in mm. So once MM gets her hands on it, this MM will be very sad to find that this man has no image at all.

4 1, Qian Qian, the son and daughter of China. If this doesn't work, we'll change it.

42, love my family discount, free every year!

43. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

44, women are pleased with themselves, and men are pleased with themselves!

45, me! The sky is like a dragon, you are like a phoenix on the ground, I fly in the sky and you chase after it on the ground. I love you, and I won't lie to you, just as farmers love corn.

46. We want to fly in heaven, two birds become one, and I want to be a pig in the same circle!

47. Being talented is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

48. People are cute not because they are beautiful, but because they are cute!

49, love, just say it out loud, because you never know, tomorrow or accident, which comes first!

Holding your hand is like holding a dog to touch your head, like touching a monkey to hold your waist, like holding a cat.