The joke of July 2 nd

1: I smiled at the sky from the horizontal knife, and then I went to sleep.

2. The cashier said: No change. Here are two plastic bags for you!

3. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

4. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman hits small monsters!

5: My life has two sides, A and B, and yours has two sides, S and B. ..

6: I am a fat man, not a clown.

7: If Taiwan Province Province doesn't recover, I won't pass Grade 4!

8: I won't go to work until the sun comes out; If I come out, I'll go back to sleep!

9: Snails run wildly.

10: Picking up girls is like hanging up QQ. Coax her for 2 hours every day, and it will soon be sunny.

1 1: Talking about money doesn't hurt feelings, but talking about love hurts money the most.

12: I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without seasoning packets.

13: The accountant said, "Come and get paid later. I have no change here. "

14: Can you see my powder?

15: Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.

My name is Yu, and my nickname is Runtu.

17: I am an angel, and I can't go back to heaven because of my weight.

18: once I was on the street, a group of girls stopped me. They said I was handsome, but when I denied it, they hit me and called me hypocritical.

19: it is both house and rotten, and its future is uncertain.

20: make a cup of Sanlu and give it to XX.

2 1: The most mysterious department in history: related departments.

There is no denying that mosaic is the biggest obstacle to the progress of human nude art in this century!

There are only two things I can't do in my life: neither this nor that.

24: People have backgrounds, and I have backgrounds.

25: The ideal of meat, the life of cabbage.

26: White Horse … Where did you die! Did you lose your prince and dare not come to see me?

27: Did your mother throw people away and raise the placenta when she gave birth to you?

28: Don't treat shrimp as seafood.

29: Yangzhou fried rice, please, with more chopped green onion and less salt, and an egg, packed and taken away.

30: Your mother is your father's cousin?

3 1: I have to read the Forbes rich list every morning when I get up. If my name is not on it, I will go to work.

32: There are too many liars and obviously not enough fools.

I just killed the dragon on the road, swam across the river, climbed to the top of the tower and kissed your princess.

34: Kill you with what, dear.

35: Your mobile phone is cheaper than the phone bill.

It's a long way to Xiu Yuan, so let's take a taxi.

37: Others pretend to be experienced.

38: I am not afraid of stealing tools, but I am afraid of stealing children to understand technology!

1. Money is not a problem, but no money!

2. I am drunk and won't accept anyone, just hold the wall!

I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

4. You know what, big brother? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's.

If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then you should eat at least a pair of whales. ...

6. Clear water leads to no fish, while mean people lead invincible.

7. Youth is like toilet paper. You can see a lot, but it is not enough to use. 8. Being pregnant is just like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

9. Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well ~ ~ ~

10. Colleagues may be nervous when they meet customers. As soon as they opened their mouths, they said, "Hello, Miss Liu, what's your name?" Sweat ~ ~ ~ ~

1 1. A female classmate is a little black and her boyfriend is a little white. One day, the poisonous queen in the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this. You'll have zebras."

12. I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

13. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

14. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

15. God said there should be light, and I said I opposed it. From then on, the world was dark.

16. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I quit. ......

17. To be a man, you must be a person who wanders between A Niu and Niu C.

18. My name is God, my name is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata. ...

19. People can't hang themselves from a tree, but try to die several times in several nearby trees.

20. If you don't peel the bark, you will die. People are shameless and invincible in the world.

2 1. The farmer's three punches hurt a little.

22. In fact, I have always been very popular: everyone loved me when I was a child, and now I am a bitch.

23. Don't be afraid of enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs.

Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

25. Rats are looking for cats all over the street with knives.

26. As long as you work hard, you shit seriously.

27. Who runs fastest in China? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because speaking of the devil.

28. You can go as far as you want.

29. Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

30. Lovers form families.

3 1. Spring comes, and a flock of geese fly north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while. ..

32. Lie down where you fell.

33. If the tiger doesn't show off, you can treat me as HELLO KITTY!

34. Donkeys can look backwards ~

◆ Women are plump, thin, slim, tall, slim, short and petite; Men are fat, pigs are thin, ribs are tall, bamboo poles are short, and wax gourd Professor: 90% of adult women in China are not virgins. The president sent a letter to the other 65,438+00% women. Have you ever heard of this? The girls shook their heads. "So you didn't get the letter!" ◆ "How much do you love me?" "Almost a dime." "Is that all?" "Isn't a dime ten dollars?" You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention. God lost his temper. If you live, who will set off the beauty of the world without you!

0 1. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

02. Arguing with MM about whether a whale is a fish, I finally said "I also bring a personal word", and she agreed that a whale is not a fish.

03. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

If the answer was a virtue, I would have become a saint.

05. Life can't be like cooking. You can't cook until all the materials are ready.

06. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years!

07. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it.

There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women in XX campus will live forever. ...

09. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic. ...

10. Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs!

1 1. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

12. I used to have a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but put them in a pot to stew soup. ...