The wife is seriously ill and the husband wants to give up treatment. Mother-in-law: Do you really want to do this?

At lunch today, my mother said that my aunt's previous serious illness has relapsed, and she asked me to take the time to go home and see her.

I always feel very sad when I mention my aunt. At first, our whole family was unwilling to let her marry her uncle, because he seemed gentle and gentle, but in fact he was a scumbag. In my grandma's words, the relationship between my aunt and uncle was a bad relationship, but my aunt didn't listen.

My uncle worked in a public institution and was considered to be an iron rice bowl more than ten years ago. However, my aunt was not well educated and opened a clothing store alone in a small county town. They know each other, just like Faye Wong sang in the lyrics: Just because I took one more look at you in the crowd, I will never forget your face again. My aunt fell in love with my uncle at first sight.

It is said that women chase men’s spacer yarn. Although my aunt has no education, she is good at business. Under her active confession, her uncle agreed to date her. When the two were in love, it was always you and me. But after they got engaged, the uncle's attitude towards the aunt changed. Perhaps this is why the novelty between lovers has expired.

Later, my aunt’s friends discovered that my uncle’s behavior was very inappropriate. He did many wrong things behind my aunt’s back. When her aunt's friend told her about the matter, instead of blaming her uncle, her aunt sneered at her friend, saying that her friend was jealous that she had found a man with an iron rice bowl.

Later, not only my aunt’s friends discovered my uncle’s indiscretions, but even some people from our village who had moved to the city also saw my uncle walking arm in arm with other women. At that time, when the family members found out, they all stopped the aunt from continuing to associate with the uncle. However, the aunt who fell in love and was seduced by the sweet words of her uncle would not listen to the advice of her family. She had a big fight with my grandma in order to be with her uncle, and even said she wanted to sever the mother-daughter relationship with my grandma.

To be honest, my aunt did this for other reasons. When she was little, her grandma didn't show much favor to her, and she only went to school until the second year of high school, when she was forced by her grandma to drop out of school. At the beginning, grandma did have a serious idea of ????"men are superior to women". She believed that her aunt would get married when she grew up, so there was no need to waste too much emotion on her. It is precisely because of this that my aunt has hated grandma ever since.

My aunt went out to work when she was 16 years old. She came back when she was 20 years old. With the money she earned from working, she rented a house in the county town and opened a clothing store. Since her aunt's business became stable, she has never been home except during major holidays.

However, I am familiar with my aunt, because my aunt has always taken care of me when I was in high school in the county. When I chatted with my aunt, I never dared to talk about grandma because she was disgusted. I remember that one time I wanted to persuade my aunt and grandma to reconcile, but my aunt said angrily: "I am also her biological child, and I am also the one who fell from her. What's more, we are of the same gender. Why can't she love me more?"

Later, I told my grandma about my aunt’s inner frustration. Grandma said that she knew that the palms and backs of her hands were full of meat, but in those days, eating one meal before another, combined with the general environment, was all for the sake of leaving a descendant for the family. I can understand my aunt's inner frustration, and I can also understand my grandma's last resort.

Since I told my grandma about my aunt’s inner grievances, my grandma’s attitude towards her has changed a lot. She has begun to take the initiative to care about her aunt’s food, clothing, housing and transportation. She will call her when it rains or snows. Call her to pay attention.

There is no cruel mother in the world. If they are not forced by the environment, there are no parents who do not love their children.

Although the relationship between grandma and aunt has eased, the bad feelings that have formed in the heart for many years cannot be eliminated in a short time. Therefore, when it comes to persuading aunt not to associate with uncle, aunt doesn't listen to anyone at all.

When I first got married, my aunt was very kind to my uncle and regarded him as almost everything in her life.

In the words of Zhang Ailing's book, after falling in love with someone, you can humble yourself into the dust and bloom a flower there. My aunt has indeed humbled herself to the dust, but my uncle doesn't appreciate it. He still looks that "cynical". Because he feels that he has an "iron rice bowl" and is not afraid that his aunt will treat him badly.

So, not long after they got married, my uncle’s true nature was revealed. He didn’t even shy away from talking to her and talking to other women on the phone. Later, my aunt finally couldn't bear it anymore and had a big fight with her uncle. The aunt said to the uncle: "I regard you as the whole of my life, but you regard me as a dispensable rag in your life."

After that quarrel, there was almost no relationship between them. No more feelings. Whenever they meet, they are bound to quarrel. My uncle called my aunt rude and uncultured, while my aunt called my uncle a self-righteous and mean little man.

When two people like this get together, quarrels become almost a common occurrence. The two of them had a quarrel and never stopped. This quarrel lasted until they were nearly fifty years old.

The most terrible thing between husband and wife is the quarrel. Because quarreling will make two people ugly and bad, and there will never be any possibility of talking between them.

The reason why my aunt and uncle did not end their marriage was not because they still had hope for feelings for each other. After a quarrel, my aunt regretted her blindness. She once cried and called her grandma and said, "If I had known better, I would have listened to your advice. Only after we got married did I realize that he was really a scumbag." However, when her aunt said this, she was already pregnant.

It was precisely because of their children that they managed to maintain their marriage. In fact, I don’t understand why people of their age maintain a loveless marriage for the sake of their children. If it is simply to give your children a healthy home, this idea is wrong. Because even if the home is sound, without warmth, children still cannot grow up healthily and happily.

Now, my brother says that my aunt should not maintain a loveless marriage for him. He has understood that his parents are two "strangers" who got together since he was sensible. My brother said that when he was in junior high school, he wanted to persuade his aunt to end the marriage, but at that time, his aunt spent almost all her feelings fighting against his uncle and would not listen to anyone at all.

My aunt's character is exactly the same as my grandfather's. She is very stubborn and can't pull ten horses back. As long as she is determined about something, she will have to hit the wall before she is willing to look back. My parents also said that my aunt's current situation was all caused by her not listening to others' advice. However, when their loved ones needed help, they all gave up blaming her for being irrational.

Maybe, this is family love.

Every time I mention my aunt, I always feel very sad because she blindly chose a marriage full of grievances and resentments.

Nowadays, my aunt and uncle are both nearly fifty years old, and they often quarrel with each other. My mother said that after her aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer, she was so frightened that she collapsed. My mother thought she was doing it for her own health, but she sat on the ground, patted her thighs, and cried, "I just left like this. Didn't I lose to that scumbag? I haven't won a fight with him yet." !”

My aunt’s attitude towards marriage is still the same. She viewed her relationship with her uncle as a war, a war she hoped to win.

And the same is true for my uncle. When he learned that his aunt was seriously ill, instead of caring and greeting him, he sneered and said, "It seems that in this war, I am the one who wins!"

My aunt fell ill. After that, my uncle refused to pay a penny. At that time, my brother made a big fuss with him. He told his uncle that if my uncle didn't spend money to treat my aunt, he would not provide her with old age care in the future. After that, my uncle compromised and used his savings to treat his aunt.

For this disease, there is no other good way except to remove the diseased tissue. But my aunt didn't agree, so I could only use conservative treatment methods. My aunt insisted on conservative treatment, which cost her family's savings of about 100,000 yuan. Later, our family also raised more than 100,000 yuan for my aunt, and we spent all of it.

Later, the disease was under control, but subsequent treatment still cost money. Seeing that most of his savings had been spent, my uncle was unwilling to save any money to treat his aunt, so he took it upon himself to handle the discharge procedures for her.

After returning home, my uncle called my aunt’s mother-in-law to the house and asked her to take care of my aunt. My aunt’s mother-in-law was very confused. The condition was under control, so why didn’t she continue the treatment? So she asked her uncle: "Son, why wasn't my daughter-in-law's illness treated?"

The uncle's answer made her aunt's heart ache like a knife. The uncle said: "This is cancer. It cost more than 200,000 yuan, and it can't be cured. She refused to undergo resection and only received conservative treatment. Who wasted that money on her! I don't have a dime anyway." I will spend the 100,000 for my son’s sake, otherwise, I won’t spend a penny on her. With her domineering attitude, I feel like I’m losing my worth by spending money on her!”

Although my aunt no longer loves my uncle, for so many years, even if they quarreled every day, at least there is still a little "family affection" between the two of them, but my uncle's words are almost without any emotion.

My aunt’s mother-in-law is a very kind old man. When she heard her son say such heartless words, she angrily scolded her uncle. She said, “You are really my biological son. My daughter-in-law has no merit for all these years.” There is also hard work, although I know you won’t deal with it, but the child she gave birth to has your surname! We can’t be conscienceless! If you don’t save it, I will save it!”

Later, my aunt came to her. With the persuasion of my mother-in-law, I chose to undergo surgery. At that time, her mother-in-law advised her like this. She advised her aunt that women must take care of themselves. The body is the capital to get back on track. My aunt's mother-in-law knew that my aunt hated my uncle, but as a mother and a woman, she felt really sorry to see that my uncle was as selfish as his father.

So, my aunt’s mother-in-law borrowed 100,000 yuan from her natal relatives and performed a surgical excision on my aunt. After my aunt recovered, she ended her marriage to her uncle.

Actually, my aunt should have done this a long time ago, because she was too stubborn. She felt that consuming her uncle in the marriage was revenge on him. Little did she know that she was also torturing herself by doing so. Live with resentment every day. To put it bluntly, the reason why my aunt contracted this disease was due to the concentrated outburst of the negative emotions she had accumulated over the years.

A good relationship is like heaven even in hell; a bad relationship, even if you are in heaven, your heart is still in hell. I think this sentence better explains the relationship between aunt and uncle.

Actually, there are many such people in life. They often point guns at their closest relatives. I don’t understand. When they do this, do their hearts really not hurt?

Just like my aunt's marriage, if she had ended it early and accepted the reality early, she probably wouldn't be so painful, let alone so disappointed. The marriage is over, but neither of them seems to have benefited. Embedded in their memories is always their hatred for each other.

In marriage, people who cannot manage their emotions will always release their own evil, which will lead to very bad results. Marriage is supposed to be a place that can nourish our lives and protect us from the wind and rain, but in the end, the wedding has become a bondage that shows the hideous face of the couple.

Too many readers have left me messages backstage, telling me about their miserable marriages. Many people who have been hurt will regard the other party as an enemy, and they will not hesitate to use harsh words and methods to deal with the other party. On the contrary, when they face outsiders, they can still be polite to strangers.

Such a person is so ridiculous. If you know that the other person is an "enemy", why don't you end the relationship with him/her? Why torture yourself?

I want to tell those who are struggling in marriage and regard the other party as an enemy. The value of a marriage is to give you psychological comfort, not to be a body without emotion and warmth.

In this cruel and realistic world, we can live well without anyone. Since we know that the other person has a bad side, why can't we let go early and end our own pain?

I once read a sentence written by an author of "Chicken Soup". She said: "There is indeed an element of game in the relationship between the sexes. The one who softens first loses. It must not be in an intimate relationship. Give in, otherwise you will be trampled under Japan's feet forever."

I don't know where she got the courage to convey such a bad theory to people. If two people who love each other live in this kind of relationship, will there still be love between them? Doesn’t this theory contradict the equal treatment in love?

It’s not a big deal for a normal person to lose his relationship, because relationships are not everything in life. Those who think that those who cannot win in relationships are losers in life, and those who are baptized and educated by "chicken soup", most of them live a miserable life.

The strength of a person does not mean that you can trample those around you under your feet to show your greatness. Such power is not worth showing off because it is shameful. We are born with emotions, and the minimum comfort we should achieve between people is to respect each other.

The evolution of a good marriage should be based on getting better. This better requires the couple in it to blend each other's lives and make each other's lives have a great impact. Only when we intersect and let each other's humanity rest comfortably.

Please remember that in marriage, what couples fear is not external intrusion, but each other’s harsh words. Because when a couple starts to say bad things to each other, it proves that the inside of the marriage has been corroded by negative emotions. If it is not remedied in time, the result will be the collapse of the marriage.

Please remember, even in marriage, we should be good at the beginning of human beings and not let "evil" hijack your humanity!