The complete works of humorous short message sentences selected for girlfriends.

1. Are you physically and mentally exhausted and lovelorn without tears at the weekend? Still an old friend, dating gives you comfort! Forget the bottom of my heart, relax and get tired. When we meet again, we will spit bitterness and beer hotpot! Don't stand me up!

It is said that an angel can take care of someone for dinner this weekend, and I wish him good luck and rolling in financial resources. In order not to delay your financial resources, I have to ask you to invite me to dinner. Don't be embarrassed, I won't refuse!

3. Dear mobile users: As your points have reached the requirements, our company will send a super handsome guy, please go downstairs to collect it in minutes, and it will not be processed after the expiration!

It's the season of letting a hundred flowers blossom again. When are you free, I will appreciate the touch of flowers?

You, you, you little goblin, poisoned me with your love poison, but you didn't give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: meet tonight!

We are all pests, we are all lazy ... We are all lazy ... Get up! Get up lazy. ...

7. It will be very happy to receive blessings in the morning, and it will be very happy to receive blessings in spring; It's morning and spring. I send my best wishes to you and wish you happiness! Get up!

8, the wind is light and the clouds are light, and the warm sunshine is so brilliant; The scenery on the lake is like your face. You are a partner to relieve my mental fatigue. I will lighten the burden on your way forward. The clouds are pale and green, and the fallen flowers and mud are crushed to ashes. Having said that, I just want to ask, let's get together at the weekend, you pay!

9. Call you Sister Pig after sleeping, and don't call your wife after getting up with a smile!

10, life can be plain without regrets, just like a quiet lake under blue sky and white clouds; Life can be poetic, just like a rushing stream under a high mountain; Life can be light and cloudy, and you can fly a good mood at will; Life can be full of laughter, accompanied by past memories and thoughts; Life can be full of sweetness, let the blessings of the sky accompany you; Life can be very comfortable, and you can have a pleasant date with friends and talk about the past on weekends! Let go of fatigue, untie the fatigue in my heart, just to date you!

The moon is the darling of nature, magical and beautiful. All you have to do is keep a close eye on the moon at night, follow it all the time, and keep chanting your wishes in your heart, and you will-fall into the ditch!

12, courageous and often scared; I have a big temper. What is the humiliation of my crotch? The personality is very embarrassing, and I haven't found the characteristics yet; I am shallow-skinned, only pestering you; If you smile when you receive a text message, I will frown.

13, slip on watermelon skin, you will be lucky; Slip on the banana skin and you will have good luck; Slip on the orange peel and you will gather wealth. Eat a big meal quickly today, and then count your luck.

14, send you watermelon, refreshing; Send you an electric fan to blow away your irritability and sweat; Send you cool oil and fight for the upper reaches; Send you a cup of warm heart tea to accompany you to blossom every day!

15, dumb: "Do you know what to eat is good for your eyes?" Mao Mao: "Eating fish is good for your eyes." Dumb: "that's all lies, you still believe it!" " Mao Mao: "Have you ever seen a cat with glasses?" "

16, I have too many troubles. If each trouble is worth one yuan, then I am a billionaire; If I were a billionaire, I would definitely send 9999 text messages every day, wishing you happiness forever!

17, daily pistachio, sweet love powder, friendship evergreen cream, career success pill, family harmony pill, health longevity agent, and safe clover. Give it all to you. Have a nice day!

18, some people say: the loose left shoelace means I miss you, and the loose right shoelace means you miss me! I tied my left shoelace tightly and loosened my right shoelace, but the left shoelace was still loose. I can't help thinking about you!

19, I sent you a gift by courier, please check it. I believe it will bring you infinite happiness and special surprises, and maybe you will cry with joy. The courier may deliver the goods to your door at night. His name is ... smelly mosquito.

20. Some things are predestined. Although flowers bloom and fall mercilessly, it is the mission of time. It is inevitable that people need to walk without wings; Face life frankly, who let you work hard, avoid cats, and be happy when you are full!

2 1, God said to me, if I don't bless you, the rooster will lay eggs, the national treasure won't eat, the sun will darken and the earth will stop immediately. In order not to let the world chaos, I wish you: happy every day!

22. It is a very happy thing to miss you; Nice to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; This is what I have been doing to relax you; However, lying to you just happened. Haha, nothing!

23. I remembered that innocent time again. I lay leisurely on the grass, with grass in my mouth, watching white clouds floating in the blue sky. You stay by my side tenderly, look at me affectionately, and occasionally whisper in my ear and say, baa-

24. Once you cross, you become a stunning beauty, lying in the arms of a man wearing a dragon robe, who loves you in every way. Just when I was about to make out, suddenly there was a noise outside the palace, and someone shouted: Kill Yang Guifei!

25. This short message has no other meaning, just a little something. It's boring if you don't read it, and it's even more boring if you don't understand it. Actually, what I mean is what I mean. Interesting and boring have the same meaning: knock you out.

26. Send text messages to identify yourself in grandpa's time; Send text messages in dad's time to catch up with the trend; When I was a brother, I sent a text message to chase my girlfriend. What era is your Excellency? Set your position. I am still texting you, just for three words: pure love!

27, the second generation of officials, his father is the eldest brother in the army, and his brother works in a western enterprise. He quarreled with someone in the bath city, killed the son of the security guard and the boss, and beat the boss. He was sentenced to death under pressure and soon appeared again. He's Nezha!

28, the stock market funny Spring Festival couplets: Part I: Love has been suspended, the situation has been closed, and fate has slipped to the daily limit; Bottom line: thinking about the bull market, thinking that there is no bear market, and feelings can't be long-term; Horizontal batch: make up positions quickly.

29. A person who lives and dies with me is a lover; A person who is affectionate with me is a lover; Those whose blood is thicker than water with me are relatives; One kind of person is my descendant, who is a clansman; The people who fight with me are friends; There is also a kind of person who is born with a bodhisattva heart. Others say he lacks a tendon. He always loathes to give up when he sees my stomach is flat. He stayed with me and cooked me a seafood dinner. Finally, he didn't forget to pay me, and the money in his pocket dried up. Forget it, this person is you!

30. I want to invite you to dinner, but the water is cut off during the day and the power is cut off at night. The salary can't enter the hotel. I don't know the answer if I want to guess the prize. I didn't have the courage to rob money with a mask, so I had to endure the pain and spend a dime texting to tease you.

3 1, either sleepy or drunk, in short, don't be too tired; Don't buy expensive, don't waste, in short, be affordable; Happy queue, followed by good luck, in short, charming mood!

32. My husband's little honey wife asked: How many years has your female secretary been in the company? Husband: Three or four years. The wife asked again: How old is she? Husband replied: I am in my thirties. I didn't specifically ask. The wife asked again: Is she beautiful? Husband replied: just so-so, passable. The wife asked: How about getting dressed? The husband blurted out: Soon. The husband was beaten by his wife.

33. You said that you bought a lottery ticket and didn't win 5 million; Find a person and never meet a fairy; Go to work and always work overtime. I'll teach you a wonderful way of luck, keep it a secret, but you can't tell others, and that's-stepping on shit.

Reporter: Uncle, if you have ten acres of land, are you willing to give half of the harvest to the party? Uncle: Yes. Reporter: What about the two houses? Uncle: Yes. Reporter: What about two cars? Uncle: Yes. Reporter: What if I win the 5 million grand prize? Uncle: Yes. Reporter: What about two cows? Uncle: No reporter: Why? Uncle: I really have two cows!

35. The furthest distance in the world is that I am in the if and you are in the else, which seems to be forever accompanied and separated; The most infatuated waiting in the world is that I am a case, you are a switch, and you may never choose yourself; The most sincere dependence in the world is that you are trying and I am catching. No matter what your temper is, I will bear it silently and deal with it silently. Then, look forward to our final.

36. One monk carries water and two monks carry water. The classic story is unforgettable and deeply imprinted in my heart. Now, there is also a temple in the mountain, and there is also an old man in the temple, but the old man is smirking with his mobile phone.

37. I turned a blind eye to your kindness? Dig the heart and lungs, stay up late, have tea and meals, and prepare meals for you. But you ignored me and didn't contact me for a long time! Hum! Let you work overtime alone next time!

Stewardess: What would you like to drink? Passenger: No. Stewardess: It's free. Passenger: Huh? A glass of orange juice, a cup of coke, a cup of coffee, take out a bottle and pour some soy milk! I want to drink my plane ticket back.

39, full of personality, the coolest in the world: drinking Lushan Waterfall and sleeping in Cao Cao's tomb; Put onions in your nostrils and dog teeth in your mouth; Brawly, with branches tied to her waist, walked with light crane steps; Children cry when they see it, and they are called interstellar monsters!

40. I heard that you bought a crock. It is said that it belongs to the Zhou Dynasty, and experts will identify it. You ask: Is it from the Western Zhou Dynasty? The expert shook his head. Ask again: Is it from the Eastern Zhou Dynasty? The expert shook his head again. Ask again: Is it above the Zhou Dynasty? The expert replied: Last week!

4 1, use ellipsis to get rid of the unhappiness in memory, use dashes to explain the mistakes in life, use double quotation marks to quote others' success, use exclamation marks to open your future surprises, and finally wish you a happy day and all the best!

42. physical education class took sports dance as an elective course, but everyone failed to practice it well. The teacher is angry: if you don't exercise well, what should you do if you meet bad people? Classmate A: When you meet a bad guy, should you give him aerobics or tango?

Once upon a time, a large group of ants crawled on an elephant. Later, the elephant got rid of all the ants. Another ant grabbed the elephant by the neck tightly and said to it, "Bastard, I strangled you, I strangled you."

44. In the past, Jiang was just teasing you; Later, you were cruel to garlic and made waves with onions; KINOMOTO SAKURA scheming is popular now. Although the price has gone up, friendship can't be devalued. Nothing to tease you is negotiable!

45. Meeting you is my destiny, really. * * * is your mask to confuse all beings, and your loneliness makes you mysterious. I just watched you coming to me, and then I heard your affectionate whisper: Want money or die?

46. I am willing to become a thief, steal your true feelings, put them in a romantic heart and fight with my life. Even if there is only one bowl of porridge, I will put it in your hand. It's not enough to love you in this life! Hey! Are you moved?

47. Not everyone needs to be slim, and not everyone who is slim will be beautiful. There is a person whose fullness is her capital, but her thinness can't reflect her temperament, just like you, the rounder the more pleasing, my dear wallet!

48. Let's see: Guess who is the most sincere and kind friend in the world? 3-2- 1, the answer is announced, it is you! Please welcome BTV, MTV and CCTV to witness this glorious moment and shed petals. ...

49, the weather is a bit sultry, I am afraid that your heart will be uncomfortable, so I will send you colorful popsicles to cool you down; Send out the fragrance of fruit, convey coolness, let your summer heat disappear completely and enjoy a refreshing summer. What are you waiting for? Hide your heart quickly!

50. Newton's first law: If you don't give force, you won't stop or move; Newton's second law: force acceleration; Newton's third law: I give you strength, and you have to give me strength. Do you know what this means? Do you know what to do?

5 1, send you a bunch of roses this year and find a beautiful bride; Send you a bunch of lilies and give birth to a fat doll next year; Send you a bunch of violets, and your wife will take care of your family. Send another bouquet of hibiscus flowers, which my mother-in-law likes to return.

52. Love is like bubble gum. The bigger and more beautiful, the easier it is to break. Love is like a defective crystal. Many people want to erase the defects, and the crystal becomes glass. Love is the destination of the heart, and it is tolerance and cherish!

53. Love is two meshing gears. As long as it meets the specifications, it will always turn. On the first day of the new year, I want to say that you are the gear I have been looking for all my life. No matter how things change, I will bite with you and go to the end of my life.

54, firecrackers are deafening and will sing happily; Lanterns are hung high to light festivals; Spring Festival couplets are chapters, writing auspicious; Love spreads and tenderness is offered; Xiang long he chun, flying with love. Love you in this life, infatuation for thousands of years.

55, don't send you red flowers, just send you green leaves to surround your beauty; Don't send you the sun, just send you the summer rain, wash away the dust, and you can see more clearly; If I don't give you sweet words, I'll get tired of listening to them. I will only keep you in my heart!

56. Don't argue about what a happy life is, don't care about what a perfect future is, don't let yourself be trapped in a lonely empty city without sweet memories, brave enough to love, seize the most beautiful present!

57. Cang Yang Jia Cuo said that if a person's Mr Right can be a lifelong companion, it is like getting a treasure from the bottom of the sea. 20 12, no matter how the world turns upside down, I just want to find your treasure from the sea.

58, the morning light is blooming, the flowers and plants are fragrant, and I hope that the spring scenery will be full of windows, and the beautiful mountains and rivers will be replaced with new light; Seeing and thinking about it is unforgettable, and the hometown of thousands of miles is still prosperous. How old is Lao Yan? Miss you, no one knows you better than me, you light up my night!

59. It's almost halfway through winter, but my thoughts will not stop. It will warm the rest of your winter and bring vitality to your spring. My love is so magical. Please accept my love!

60. I love you better every year; My attachment to you will never change in my life; Dependence on you has long been a habit; Never say goodbye to your expectations. You are my baby, I want to hold you in my hand!

6 1, Luan Feng caught a glimpse of hanging curtains, morning mist accompanied by snow dew among flowers, and looked at the moon last night. Tonight, the stars and the moon are holding hands, the world is clear and the moon is drunk. If I love you, I will give you my whole heart and make you happy forever!

62. The night gave me black eyes, but I used them to find your figure; God gave me life, but I used it to wait for you; Time has given me youth, but I love you with it! I am willing to love you like this!

A long time ago, I didn't know you. You don't know me. We walk on different roads. Later, we met. We passed by, but we held hands, fell in love and came together. Cherish, together!

64. The universe is vast, with hundreds of billions of stars showing endless starry sky. How can there be light in the world without you and me? The reincarnation of life and death, all beings, and thousands of creatures interpret the world. Will my life be wonderful without you?

65. What color are these flowers? I said it was red; What color is the cloud? I said it was white; What color is love? I said it was pink! With love, you have pink memories!

66. When the flowers bloom, there will be a husband's reward. How can a beautiful woman smell good? After several winds, frost, rain and snow, it turned into the fragrance of all love. It's a privilege to be with you, to relieve the worries of a hundred years. If I love you, I will give you a brand-new world and live up to your expectations!

67. I can't breathe without seeing you; I don't have the strength to see you; I can't see you, I'm blind; I can't see you, I lose my memory; Life is meaningless without you. Come to me, dear!

68. Keep the sweet taste in your heart, let the feeling of happiness last forever, put the hope of love in your infatuation, bravely carry it back, and cast the sweetness of your life with my deep blessing. May happiness never leave you!

69. The air is hot, the heart is hot, and the sweat drips out. Sticking to the tip of my hair, sticking to my thoughts of you. You occupy my heart and speed up my heartbeat. I dare not expect anything, I just want to walk out of a line of love with you!

70, wife, wife, I love you, I really want to be romantic with you, and I am sweet while watching the scenery; I really want to quarrel with you, just to make you happy and not to make you angry; I really want to work harder, and I will give it to you when I return to my home in Qian Qian. After that, I have to hug you first!

7 1, love coup: self-confidence, is an unrepeatable charm; Care, detail, let her be moved by you; Romance and surprise are the sharp tools to make her surge in emotion; Sincerity, break the bottom line of her psychological defense. I wish love happiness!

72. No one can stop you from pursuing beauty, yearning for freedom, achieving success and falling in love with me! Come on, love me!

73. At any time, my blessing is your best specific medicine. It has no pigment, no preservative and will not expire. After taking it, good luck will always appear!

74. May you be as kind as Lei Feng, as hardworking as Yu Gong, as smart as Cao Chong and as bulging as Fok Ying Tung. Good luck will always be with you! Ambiguous messages between lovers wish you happiness every day! Have fun!

75. Don't ask me how much I love you. I really can't say it. All I know is that you have become an indispensable habit for me. I can eat and sleep every day, but I can't miss you.

76. Although I can only pin my thoughts on the distance now, my heart has not changed direction. Memories are sweet | Honey has lingering sadness, just because you are not around. Every day is always a worrying thing.

77. Let the stars become my eyes and care for you all night; Let the breeze turn into my smile and caress your heart; Let all the beautiful things become my blessings, always with you, always …

78. The wind and rain are ruthless, and people are affectionate. I miss you all the time. Although I don't see you often, I will still miss you. I will send a message to chat with you and build a bridge of this friend. There is nothing to send you, so I have to say, I miss you!

79. Your smile quickens my heartbeat, making me relive that beauty every night. Fate makes you hug me, making me afraid to be late, and giving you a report of love every day.

80. I like white, just like your pure face, which proves that I am not lustful; I like purple, just like your noble temperament, which proves that I am not vulgar. I believe I deserve your love.

8 1. Occasionally, Aladdin's magic lamp will be knocked over. The devil asked me what my wish was. I said, I want to be a pair of birds with you, fly freely in the sky and live in the whirlpool of love forever.

82. My missing is a magic rope. The more you struggle, the tighter you get. My love is a trap. The deeper you love, the more blind you are. If you are not careful, you will fall into the deep well I love!

83. It's another year of chrysanthemum | flowers bloom, the flying petals are wonderful, it's another year of chrysanthemum | flowers bloom, who will bury the falling tidbits? It's another year of chrysanthemum | flowers bloom, and the feelings of loving you are in full bloom!

84. Alone in loneliness, my heart and tears wander, weaving colorful dreams at a loss; Inadvertent encounter, let us embrace sincerely, I want to carve a smile into your sky!

85. All beauty comes from sincerity and frankness. Although happiness will be fleeting, it will last. A sincere blessing, a sincere greeting, and ambiguous short messages between lovers wish you happiness every day!

86. I have 100,000 I love you, and I give you one every day, which can be divided into 273 days and 355 days, but we can't live that long, so I will continue to say: I love you in the next life!

87. When the first ray of sunshine in the morning illuminates the earth, I breathe fresh air and the breeze blows on my face. I am so happy that I can't help praying: I hope you can be happy today!

88. The hardest thing to break in the world is feelings, the hardest thing to find is love, the hardest thing to return is friendship, the hardest thing to divide is family, the hardest thing to find is true feelings, and what you want most is your smiling face!

89. This face has faded with the years. True love does not change because of true feelings. I like you because of sincerity, and I love you because of sincerity. Once an eternal promise is made, it will last forever. Please believe me, I will bring you happiness.

90, thousands of thoughts, frozen in the air. Raise the wind to blow to you, with my blessing, I don't care about loneliness, I am satisfied with your happiness, and thinking of you is my happiness!

9 1, your beautiful figure has been in front of my eyes; Your beautiful voice is always in my ear; Your fairy eyes twinkle in my heart ... Yes, I miss you all the time.

92. When everything becomes the wind, I am still waiting here; When the world has changed, I still stick to the original; Who taught me to be the stupidest person in the world and only know how to be nice to the person I like?

I hope you will be a star in the sky, and I will love you all my life. I hope you become a baby on the ground, I am proud of you, and my happiness is concentrated in my heart. I wish you peace and good luck in your life!

I haven't seen you for a long time. Are you still like that? Occasionally you call, say a few words and then hang up. Rare short message, the moment of light hair, just know: I miss you.

95. I accidentally remembered our memories. Are you still at the end of fate? Where is friendship when the leaves turn yellow in autumn? Tell you gently: I still remember you!

96. When time stops, I am your day and night, and the world collapses. I am your spring, summer, autumn and winter. If the years get old, my concern is your happiest witness!

97. Looking up through the time and space close at hand will remind me of you. Just like today's breeze occasionally blows off a leaf or two. When the wind blows to you, don't panic, that's when I say I love you in the distance. -

98. Recalling the days when we were together, I can't help but feel a twinge of heartache. Didn't we agree not to separate? How dare you leave me like this! ?

99. Recalling the days when we were together, I feel hazy. Your youthful body always comes to my dreams with moonlight, which makes me worry.

100 and * * * are a hope. This hope may turn into disappointment. * * * means pain and transition. When hope is dashed, * * * is over.

10 1. It is said that the earliest love poem was written like this: You are from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I am from Zhoukou, Beijing, holding your furry little hand and gently biting your mouth, ah! It is love that makes us walk upright!

102, distance can separate people, but it can't separate heart from heart, no matter where you go. My heart will always be with you. You stole my love and my heart. I've decided to sue you in court. What should I sentence you to? The judge searched all criminal records and cases, and finally the jury unanimously passed: I sentence you to be mine for life.

103. How long can a meteor fly? I know I can't pursue it; How long can cherry blossoms last? Don't know where to wait; But I only hope that you and I can last as long as beautiful stars, which is worth keeping for a lifetime.

104, it's my life's fault for not holding your hand. No matter at the ends of the earth or just around the corner, you are the deepest miss and pain in my heart!

105, every snowflake falls, every fireworks is lit, every second flows, and every miss is sent out, which represents every blessing I want to send you: Happy Valentine's Day, romantic every night!

106, you open the window, and my blessing will float in with the wind. You open the curtains, and my blessing will come in with the sunshine. When you turn on your mobile phone, my blessing will ring * * *.

107, don't move, grab! Robbery, okay? Take out your sorrow, hand over your sorrow, take out your troubles, and take off your sorrow! Replace it with a short message worth 10 yuan RMB: Happy New Year!

108, in the new year, I wish you good luck in connecting 2 companies and 3 companies, and feel the sunshine of 4 spring days and colorful life. 7 colorful, occasionally 8 small fortune. All the troubles are forgotten. Please accept my best wishes from 10.

109, the butterfly said to the bee: You are so stingy, full of sweet words but reluctant to give me a word. The bee said, hum, you are talking about me. You have two antennas on your head. Why didn't you send me a message?

1 10 I wish you: fate is like peach blossom, fortune is like waves, love is like roses, life is like happiness, flowers are like morning glory, and career is like climbing vines. Don't spend too much if you have love. If you have money, don't squander it. Give me a windfall.

1 1 1, freeze! Gangland raid! Those who know me stand on the left, and those who don't know me stand on the right! Those who want to laugh stand in the middle and stare at the mobile phone! Yes! Only you! Put the phone down and put your hands on your head! Listen; Happy new year!

1 12, the bell is my greeting, the song is my blessing, the snowflake is my greeting card, the wine is my kiss, and the breeze is my gift! It's all for you. Happy new year! Happy new year!

1 13, the gods release snowflakes to make you forget your troubles, and the cold wind closes the window to make you feel warm; I send my best wishes for a smoother coming year and a happy New Year's Day in advance!

1 14, I booked the first sunshine for you next year. I wish you happiness! I reserved the first morning breeze for you tomorrow morning. Have a happy day! I booked the first song of birdsong for you. Have fun! I booked my first gift for you. Happy New Year!

1 15, being busy occasionally does not mean forgetting; With the coming of winter, may you feel better; Forgotten greetings, this time together to compensate: all the concerns, condensed this short message, I wish you a merry Christmas!

1 16, don't move. You have been blessed to defend. Put down your worries and surrender to the hurdles at once. All your troubles will be confiscated, you will be sentenced to be happy for a hundred years, and you will live on the island of happiness, supervised by good luck!

1 17, the low temperature will not go back this year, and it will be cold every day. Pay attention to cherish yourself, don't be too tired to study, eat more fruit if you have nothing to do, and calm down at night to find someone. Don't worry about something, it is precious to nourish the heart and protect the lungs. You and my revolutionary comrades, the above reminder is free!

1 18, thanks to CCTV! MTV, thanks to my economic company, thanks to my parents, thanks to all the fans who support me, and say happy every day to you silly people here.

1 19, more happiness, less trouble; No matter how much money you have, just be happy every day; What's the taste of life? You have to season yourself! Let yourself be happy and carefree! Have a nice weekend!

120, the little fly is a rotten apple on the roadside. Father fly happened to pass by, so he said to Xiaofei, * * * Advise us to pay attention to personal hygiene, prevent diseases from entering our mouths, stop eating rotten apples and go home and eat shit.

Finishing: zhl20 1704