Pretending not to love you is the bravest thing I have ever done

Written by Nico

Loving you is the most wonderful thing I have ever done.

The meeting between Ah Wei and Li Yu was so dreamy that Ah Wei felt like he had time traveled to a comic book instantly.

Pulling a thick book off the bookshelf, I saw Li Yu's exquisite face through the gap. She often saw him on various important occasions in school, but this was the first time for her to be so close.

He was reading a book, leaning on the bookshelf casually, turning the pages gently with his long fingers. His eyes were lowered, and the sun shone slantly on his face through the glass window. His long eyelashes were so flexible that they seemed to have stolen Ah Wei's heartbeat.

Ah Wei held his breath, fearing that the loud breathing would disturb this school girl who was like a heavenly being. Ah Wei covered his racing heart and secretly observed Li Yu through the gap.

It turns out that he loves reading classical literature. No wonder his works often appear in the school newspaper. With good looks, talent, and hard work, Li Yu, Li Yu, doesn't this cut off the livelihood of other boys?

Strike up a conversation? Or peeping? The two little devils in Ah Wei's heart tore at each other for a hundred times. He took a deep breath and lifted it to his throat. The moment he mustered up the courage to take a step, he suddenly became deflated. After trying a hundred times, Ah Wei finally gave up. She hated herself for being useless, so she picked up a book of "The Book of Songs" and hit it hard on her head, letting out a soft cry of pain.

You deserve it! I don’t even have the courage to strike up a conversation, and I failed to live up to the overwhelming power of meeting the male god by chance today!

A Wei rubbed his sore forehead and cursed himself for not having the courage. Forget it, I am destined to miss the male god. She had already made up her mind to give up and looked up at him one last time before saying goodbye. But... this time she looked up, she jumped up in anxiety!

The male god is missing!

I craned my neck and looked around, but he was still nowhere to be seen. It seems that the male god has returned home.

Ah Wei was extremely disappointed and was about to leave the library, but when he turned around, he accidentally turned to someone. Ah Wei was about to say sorry, but when he looked up he was so surprised that he almost fainted.

"You...I..." turned out to be Li Yu. He was looking at her carefully.

"Are you the runner-up in the last campus singing competition? Your name is A Wei, right?" Li Yu actually remembered her? ! She enters a competition and he happens to be a judge. The competition lasted for a month. She often looked at him secretly, but never had the courage to come forward and talk to him. It has been eight months since the competition ended, and I still regret it.

"So you also like classical literature." Li Yu pointed to the "Book of Songs" in her hand.

"Ah, yes, haha... I like it." You can't tell him that this book is just for hitting your head to wake you up!

"You sang very well last time. In fact, I think you should win the championship..."

A Wei's brain has been in a state of confusion. He answered Li Yu's words confusedly. After exchanging phone numbers, I accidentally took away Li Yu's Coke. After running twenty meters, I found something in my hand, and hurried back to return it to him. I jogged all the way back to the dormitory, my heart still pounding. I drank 500ml of Liangbaikai in one breath, and then I gradually recovered.

Is it really Li Yu? Such an unreachable male god actually remembers her, an unknown little girl. And he was so amiable, and what was even more shocking was that he thought she should be number one, my God...

I don’t know whether it was intentional or not, but the two of them ran into each other more and more often in the library. Much more. Gradually, the two began to go to the coffee corner in the library and have light meals in the cafeteria together. Li Yu took her on a shortcut to the school and told her about the little-known anecdotes in the school.

He who was once so aloof no longer seems so far away. What was once thought to be impossible will one day become possible.

The summer vacation is here, and the two of them share each other's feelings through the Internet every day, as if they have never been apart.

Until one day, Li Yu’s text message started with the word "baby". They just got together so naturally. Ah Wei was so happy that he tossed and turned and stayed up for several nights, but he didn't dare to express his feelings as Li Yu did.

I have practiced the words "I like you" countless times, but have never said them out.

As school was about to start, Ah Wei was finally about to meet her boyfriend, and Ah Wei had been very excited. Most importantly, she has a big surprise in store. Awei asked countless friends to finally buy a collector's edition of Elvis Presley's album from abroad, preparing to give it as his first gift as a lover.

Ah Wei played with the album happily, sometimes placing it on the bedside, and sometimes placing it on the bookshelf. She imagined the day they met in the library. Would he be particularly happy to receive this gift, happy enough to give her a kiss?

Ah Wei buried his head in his hands, his face flushed with embarrassment.

Love is like candy. When you hold it in your mouth, you dare not taste it deeply, for fear that it will melt if you use too much force. When you taste it aftertaste, it seems that the sweetness is still on the tip of your tongue, and the meaning is still lingering.

Li Yu has actually been deeply impressed by A Wei for a long time. The campus singer competition is closely related to the honor of each department. Everyone is trying their best to please the judges, eager for quick success and instant gain, hoping to win awards and rankings. Ah Wei is the only one who is often the first to come to rehearsals and the last to leave. During his breaks, he either memorizes lyrics or practices singing skills, and he never even says anything nice to the judges. In fact, in his heart, her singing voice has its own soul, and she must be the first one. It's just that we were alone and weak. After considering the opinions of other judges, we finally got the runner-up.

So Li Yu recognized her at a glance through the gap in the bookshelf. He also saw her panic and desire. If she didn't dare to take the first step, why didn't he take a step closer to her first?

Li Yu stood in front of the bookshelf where the two first met, holding a sheet of music she had long admired, imagining her surprised and moved face, and couldn't help laughing. She must have flushed cheeks and started hesitating again!

For a long time, Ah Wei has not appeared. Li Yu has already finished his third cup of coffee. The setting sun gradually slanted in, and the golden sunlight spread on the table like water waves, wrapping the music score in a golden coat, making it particularly dazzling.

Ah Wei never showed up.

What’s even more shocking is that Ah Wei completely disappeared!

Li Yu is getting married. He notified his relatives and friends and also sent a text message to Awei.

Rather than sending a text message to Ah Wei, it is better to send a text message to that number. Since Ah Wei disappeared, that number has always been switched off. No downtime, no text messages returned, no phone calls returned.

That day, Li Yu didn’t wait for Ah Wei, so he called her and went to the dormitory to look for her. In a panic, he was told by the dormitory aunt: “A Wei, I packed my luggage and checked out early this morning. She has already processed it. It’s time to drop out of school!”

This love that had not really begun came to a happy end with Ah Wei’s farewell.

For five years, Li Yu has been looking for her for a long time. But as I searched, I seemed to think that she would never appear again in this life. After all, she had never personally admitted that she liked him, nor had she made any traceable confession.

On Li Yu’s wedding day, A Wei appeared.

The bride held Li Yu's arm, smiled gently, and thanked her relatives and friends for their blessings. Li Yu raised his glass and drank it in one gulp. He didn't know whether he hated her for leaving without saying goodbye, or whether he hated her for appearing on an occasion like today, which caused ripples in his heart.

During the dinner, Ah Wei happily ate the dishes and chatted with his old classmates, as if he had never left. This suddenly reminded Li Yu of many years ago, when Li Yu was resting in the practice room, and a moving song suddenly came to him. He quietly straightened up and saw a graceful back, swinging with the music, as if it had a strong magnetic field. , which made him fall all of a sudden.

Li Yu sat quietly next to her, just like he had done in the library many years ago, and suddenly stood in front of her, which surprised her.

This time, he didn't know what to say. Ah Wei toasted him with a glass of wine and smiled calmly.

It turns out that before the start of school, Awei's father suddenly got into a car accident and drove drunk and hit someone and died. The family's financial and spiritual head was suddenly paralyzed. I paid for Ah Wei's tuition and also owed a lot of debt. My father was fired from the workplace and my mother had been a housewife for more than 20 years. The family suddenly lost its source of income. The originally happy family was turned upside down and could never go back to what it was before.

A Wei’s house was mortgaged, and the family of three had to move back to their hometown and live with their grandparents.

Later, his father started working again, and Awei also became a teacher in the county middle school. In recent years, the family's situation has gradually improved.

Li Yu felt heartbroken and blamed himself. He had blamed her for so long, but it turned out that she had lived such a hard life.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His nose was sore, but he still held back tears.

"Because our relationship was not clear at that time. Neither of us has the ability to solve problems. Why should I make you more troubled?" Ah Wei said lightly, as if he was telling someone else's story. A hint of sadness.

"But I have considered you my girlfriend for a long time..." Li Yu felt a pain in his heart as he thought of the past.

"But I never said I love you." Ah Wei smiled faintly, "I have retaken my undergraduate studies again and have been admitted to graduate school this year. Congratulate me!"

< p> The pure and innocent Ah Wei suddenly appeared in front of Li Yu again. He pretended to check the microphone cable for the performance, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Ah Wei secretly looking at him. She was wearing a pure white dress and her long hair was blowing in the wind. She looked so innocent and beautiful. He secretly rejoiced that she was also paying attention to him.

The bride held Sina's arm and smiled sweetly and happily. The couple saw off every friend who came to congratulate them.

A Wei smiled and waved his hand, and merged into the bustling crowd without looking back.

Li Yu gradually lost his mind while looking at the place where she disappeared. Suddenly his pocket shook and he lit up the screen, which was a text message.

"Pretending not to love you is the bravest thing I have ever done."

Nico, post-90s Master of Laws

May all your wishes come true As I wish

This is the first time I write such a long article, my heart is heavy and I need to recuperate

Thank you all for your likes (づ￣ 3￣)づ