The second formula of saving the thirty-six formulas: seven pits that cannot be stepped during disconnection.

After Xiaoliang was broken up, she was in great pain. She frantically searched online for ways to save her. When she saw that it was useful to break up, she planned to give it a try and stop contacting her boyfriend.

As a result, less than a week later, my boyfriend sent a message saying, let's be ordinary friends. Xiaoliang was just thinking that he couldn't do it, and his heart softened and he agreed.

When her boyfriend is going to take the MBA exam, Xiaoliang will help him order takeout, peel the fruit and send it downstairs, and even plan to sign up for one to accompany the exam. The friendship and lover not full's state made Xiaoliang very painful. At present, Ren casually took the delicious food he sent, and she couldn't help but want to get back together, but she flinched at the thought of "ordinary friends".

The recovery that started with the disconnection has unconsciously become a spare tire to protect her predecessor. Sister Si was a little sad, so when Xiaoliang came to me with a lot of tangled pain, Sister Si immediately stopped her self-abasement behavior.

The behavior of stepping on a mine like Xiaoliang's is basically hopeless. I am afraid that Xiaoliang will be stabbed again when the other party finds a quality object.

Today, Sister Si will talk about seven pits that you can't step on during the disconnection.

First, the circle of friends is chaotic

The first thing to bear the brunt is the chaotic circle of friends.

In the first formula of disconnection, Sister Si said that disconnection, in popular terms, means that he can't find you and you can't see him. Inspire his loss aversion, separate from your stages with an indifferent and calm attitude, and leave a "good feeling at the end."

There are several types of minefields in the circle of friends:

(1) Continue the previous style, and make circles in every detail

Some little sisters love to make circles, ranging from winning a promotion to eating a bowl of Chongqing noodles in the morning.

But during the period of disconnection, you have to resist the restless heart and disappear from your social world.

why?

if you continue your circle of friends who used to paint in the past, it will only make him feel that you haven't changed. If you break up and make friends, he will probably have no choice but to drag you down and block you from morning till night.

When you return to your own world and go to a quiet place, you suddenly pull away, which can ignite his miss.

so, be good, stop brushing the screen and disappear for a while, ok?

(2) sudden change in painting style, positive and positive energy

Result: It aroused the resentment and suspicion of the other party.

For example, there is a quiet little sister. Before finding Sister Si, she began to disconnect through online search, blocking the other party and never contacting him actively.

However, I started to show off people's design, display and promotion, and three items a day in the morning, middle and evening, such as fitness, reading, skin care and beauty. As a result, it was deleted by the other party within a week.

when things go wrong, there is always a demon. After the promotion, the exhibition needs a process. Think about it. A procrastinating, sensitive and fragile sister paper, the next day after breaking up, is suddenly as positive as chicken blood, will it be too fake?

You need to give yourself a buffer period and give him a cooling-off period. Only when your emotions have settled down smoothly can you start the second attraction without delay.

Second, I will lick my knees as soon as I get in touch.

What should I do? He sent me a text message. If I don't want it back, how can I reply? Oh, if I don't reply after such a long time, will he ignore me again? After such a long break, he finally contacted me. I'm so nervous, surprised and happy! !

like you? As soon as the other party contacted, I wished I couldn't jump on the whole person. The social platform left a message, and you went back to a pile of seconds. When the other party saw it, it turned out that they still cared so much about me, and the little miss that was finally ignited was instantly extinguished.

what's this called? Those who can't get it are always in turmoil, and those who are favored are fearless. You're so available, it's so boring, right?

When your performance is decisive and you are getting better and better, Sister Si wants to tell you that he may be unable to hold back the little spark in his heart and will contact you.

how to deal with such a situation in order to stabilize the other party?

Be sure to control your emotions and tone. If you are in contact with WeChat, just reply briefly and politely. For example, if he asks you how you are doing recently, you can say "fine" and say nothing else. Social circle messages, three to four replies, concise thanks are enough; If he calls, count silently for 1 seconds, pick up one by one selectively, and remember not to pick up every second. If you are colleagues, you can't look up and see, so don't talk about any personal topics except the work content, and often use honorifics such as "please, thank you, excuse me" to make him feel the distance between you and realize that you have really put it down.

when you don't look at men, men will look at you; He needs you only when you don't need him.

a little sister will ask, I don't lick my knees, but if he asks me, can I tease him?

Sister Si would like to ask, can you ensure that you have done a good job in mentality construction in a short period of disconnection? After all, high to low can be teased, and low to high can only be licked.

don't think you're flirting, but you'll get caught. The best policy is to keep your distance, let go of your needs and look on coldly.

Third, I couldn't help harassing his hand.

There was a little sister Xian Xian in Sister Si, who stayed with her ex for four and a half years. As a result, her mother got cancer, and her family sold her house to see a doctor. Her boyfriend was under great pressure at work, and people became very sad. Xian couldn't empathize with her, and she was a little busy at work. In the past, when both families were quiet, her boyfriend accepted everything. After the family changed, she became more patient.

how can a fairy who has been spoiled by her predecessor adapt to life without him? Just like a fish can't live without water, I went to see him on the fifth day of disconnection.

In the middle of the night, I sent a message to the other party, "Don't drink too much, take care of yourself, I've been waiting for you here."

as a result, the stone sank into the sea.

Xianxian began to suffer from insomnia night after night, and even wanted to get drunk. After waiting for one day, two days and three days, the pain continued to ferment with her short message.

I can't get my attention back to myself. My mind is full of why he is so heartless and why he didn't reply to my message ...

So, remember, pressing the hand you want to contact and taking this step will often surge into huge expectations and eventually engulf you.

if you are off and on, your expectations will be off, your needs will be reduced, your mind will be calm, and you can return to yourself again.

Fourth, borrow money to find a recovery agency

There is another sister in Sijie's group. After breaking up with her boyfriend, she borrowed 2, yuan from a friend and gave it to a well-known recovery agency. Waiting for the agency to come up with a wonderful plan to get her boyfriend.

in the end, people didn't get it back, and the money was gone.

Sister Si doesn't mean that the recovery institutions are unreliable, but she doesn't suggest spending a lot of money to rely on these institutions when she is not competent and has poor financial resources.

why?

1. The expectation that dependence is too strong, attribution is unclear, and stubbed out is ignited again.

It is to give yourself a cooling-off period, internal attribution and get along well with yourself.

Let go of expectations, let go of demands, and break before standing.

when the money you finally raised is handed over to the redemption agency, then you also give it hope. All the time and energy spent during this period is the sunk cost that you continue to throw in, which has fed your expectations a little. The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

besides, if you don't know the past, know yourself and save the organization, can I really give you a suitable plan?

The truth is, if the streamlined homework and the solidified routine can be saved, I'll tell you, let's see if our method works; If it doesn't work out, I'll comfort you. It's not time yet. Wait.

you wait and wait, until all the flowers have faded, and everything is still in the same place.

However, in the process of waiting, you missed the growth and the opportunity to become stronger on your own.

Finally, among the green leeks harvested by the recovery agency, it is not a special one.

2. Feelings are hurt, debts are added, and the feelings of gain and loss are too heavy. Disappointment is almost inevitable.

If you have 1 yuan in your hand, you will not feel bad if you spend 1 yuan on a lollipop. I have only one piece of sugar in my hand, and I exchanged it with all my wealth. I dropped it before I tasted how sweet it was. Will I stamp my feet in a hurry?

So, if you have money, spend 1, to 2, yuan to try water, Sister Si has no problem

But if you can't guarantee your basic life, borrow money to get it back, your feelings are not healed, and new debts are added, a series of negative events will drag you into the abyss.

This is a bit of a gambler's psychology. You pay more than you can and hope that others will give you a result. You are full of expectations and finally full of disappointment, because you have not grown up in this process.

the end result of the disconnection is yourself. Everything that depends on the outside world for recovery is hooliganism.

Therefore, you must not borrow money to support these insincere institutions. You must understand that only your own growth and constant strength, making yourself a goddess, is the core of redemption, and everything else is temporary, not permanent.

5. Pay too much attention to him

I didn't contact him, and he didn't look for me. The circle of friends, Weibo and qq space were all blocked, that is, it was often midnight, and I would find him out from my contacts, and then click on the circle of friends to look at them one by one.

It's been almost a month since I was disconnected. Why do you want to contact him more and more instead of changing at all? Didn't you say that disconnection is very useful?

Sister Si wants to say that this disconnection is only half right, but the mistake is that you are still paying attention to him at any time.

I finally persuaded myself to go to the library. I just sat down and took out my mobile phone. As a result, hey, he made a new statement. What does this sentence mean? Do you know the new sister paper? It seems that he is very happy. Well, he doesn't feel sad at all. It seems that he doesn't want me at all ... < P > You came to study, but because of his state, it turned into endless thoughts. Then the next day, he sent a selfie, which was handsome. On the third day, he went to the movies, and I didn't know who he was with. On the fourth and fifth days ... < P > You were like a voyeur, watching.

don't kid yourself, just look, just look.

if you are disconnected, you should keep yourself away from him. Look at the past like a bystander. Take back your concern for him and put it on yourself.

There are so many potentials to be developed, why not make yourself more beautiful, awesome and shiny?

expand your heart with dreams, interests and interests; Love yourself with a focused attitude.

VI. Change for him

Sister Si also met a class of sisters, and the two sides lost contact. She also made every effort to study and improve, but as the days passed, although she was full and busy, her heart became more and more empty. After she was busy, she missed him more and more.

why is this happening? I was wrong at first.

actions speak louder than words, but motivation is more important than actions.

You took the postgraduate entrance examination because he was taking the exam. He is picky about eating, and you start to study cooking that you don't like; Clearly love neat short hair, but began to grow long hair, but he once said that such girls have a taste.

Outsiders see that you are getting better and better. Only you can understand, but you still haven't jumped out of his Wuzhishan. If he hooks his finger, you will definitely jump up again.

if you change for him, you will always expect a feedback from him, but if he finally finds a good wife, and the motivation for you to change is gone, will you stop growing?

Give up learning to swim, practice oral English and keep fit, and meet a man with ten straight A's in the future, and miss it eagerly? Then you should really answer the sentence "Give up the whole forest for a dead tree".

so, what is the correct lifting posture? For myself.

Forget him and let him go. What you want and should pursue is to make yourself love yourself in the future.

Seven, pretending to be an ordinary friend and willing to be a spare tire

The last thunder was described by Sister Si at the beginning of the article. Spare-tire disconnection, in which ordinary friends call each other and come and go at will.

these sisters will tell Sister Si that I didn't take the initiative to contact him. We are just ordinary friends. He invited me to dinner once in a while, so I went, and it was nothing.

Touch your conscience and ask, can you really treat him as an ordinary friend? Or let him touch his conscience and ask, when ordinary friends get along, does he really not want you to be a spare tire? Even more cruel, the spare tire is not counted, a jack.

In Sister Si's place, if you want to chase, you will chase, and if you want to break, you will break. There is no gray area between the two. Even if there is, it's when our sisters are in a good mood. If they want to flirt, men will be friends when they say they are friends. It's impossible. Being my friend depends on whether they are qualified!

Sisters, don't degrade yourself. If it's broken, it's broken. If it's broken, it's broken.

such a precious period of disconnection is by no means to accompany him to find a goddess excessively, but to turn you into a goddess. You are the focus of your life. Don't put the cart before the horse. Your world will be better when you are good. Only when your world is good can he want to come in and have a look.

Today, Sister Si finished talking about seven pits that she would step on during the disconnection of the second type of the thirty-six types. Next, let's talk about: the way to save the third-style little sister-high and low positions.

If you want to get your boyfriend back, remember that Sister Si, Sister Si and more than 1 sisters in the group can help you. By the way, today, a sister of the goddess group succeeded in getting back together. Congratulations to her. Pay attention, it's not redemption, it's her boyfriend who wants to get back together!

Sister Si, here, it has never been redeemed, only the high position is repeated, and she is asked to seek redemption.