I don't miss him very much

On the morning when Lian went to Australia, I received a short message from him.

"Still sleeping? It's a good thing you said you couldn't come to see me off, otherwise I wouldn't leave when I saw you sad. "

My hand holding the mobile phone became tighter and tighter, and I finally refrained from calling him.

What's the use? Everyone's gone. Although he decided to study abroad a few years ago, I still feel abandoned and can't get over it for a long time.

Everyone said that if he loved me, he would stay with me.

But he, no matter how hysterical I am, just rubs my hair in a coquettish way, and then firmly tells me, "Slightly, stop it."

My reluctance is like a person falling into a cotton bush from a height without a sound.

He's still going. Compared with his future, our love is as light as a feather. Although he always said he would give me a better future.

However, without him, no matter how good the future is before me, I am not rare.

This may be the difference between men and women. I just want to get along day and night, and he still has great ambitions to do his best to realize.

After I arrived in Australia, I made a lot of phone calls and sent a lot of text messages, but I didn't answer any phone calls or return any text messages.

I admit I'm angry. However, people who have loved for four years will leave you somewhere else no matter how much you ask. If so, you will be unhappy for a long time.

A Sheng comforted me: "What, you still don't trust your Ang Lee? We can all see that you are the only one in his heart. "

I didn't say anything, and they were right, but they didn't dispel my inner anxiety.

I'm more worried about myself than about Lian. I know very well that without his constant company, I can easily betray Lian for the little sense of security in my heart.

As the saying goes, you can't hydrolyze your thirst far away. Lovers far away in foreign countries can't solve the loneliness and loneliness they face when they are far apart.

No, as soon as I left, I went shopping and watched movies with my suitor Diye behind his back.

Di Ye and I went to college together. We have known each other for many years. He has seen me miss Ang Lee's tea and rice, and he has seen him cry for his ex-girlfriend. It can be said that we have witnessed each other's embarrassment and pride.

Why are you chasing me now? Diye's explanation is: "I thought you were happy with Lian." But now he has gone to Australia and can't accompany you. And two years later, when he returns to China, I don't know what will happen to you. Therefore, I will take good care of you when he is not around. "

I said to him, "You are sick. Why do you do such a loss-making business? " ? ! "

Di Ye sneered and said, "I still believe in my own strength, and I will definitely make you feel the same."

To tell the truth, I am not a lover. I stayed with Lian for four years because he was really kind to me and handsome, so I fell in love with him for several years. If it were someone else, I might have had several love experiences.

I don't have any wild thoughts about Diye. I have always regarded him as my friend. The drama of friends becoming relatives after ten years is unlikely to happen to ordinary people.

He is very suitable for asking out for a drink when he is frustrated. But it is not suitable to fall in love with him when he is awake.

But Diye ignored it. He said, "Just wait till you fall in love with me."

Ha ha. If I hadn't known him for a long time, I would have slapped him. I like confident and brave men, but I don't like self-righteous guys.

The biggest advantage of going out with Diye is that he loves to toss, which always makes me feel fresh and gives me the feeling of "Alas, this person is too good at playing".

We made an appointment to go to the movies, and he basically played video games in the movie city. And I think he has a special function, always catching dolls. You know, I'm the kind of person who can't get a hundred coins back if I put them in a doll.

It was Army Day, and we watched Wolf Warriors 2. I was moved by Leng Feng's infatuation with Long Xiaoyun, while Di Ye was immersed in blasting and opera.

While the girls were sobbing in the cinema, Diye was still whispering anecdotes about Jason Wu's filming. The girl next door grumbled, so I kicked him to shut up.

When I got home at night, I found out that Wolf Warriors 2's four-day box office was1300 million, which broke the record of Stephen Chow's movie Mermaid breaking 100 million at the fastest time.

Out of the cinema, Diye always gave me the feeling that Jason Wu's wife Iola looks like a man, but her support for her husband's ideal at a critical moment is enough to make a big man who likes beautiful little sweet girls feel respected.

I smiled: "I feel that you men especially like the kind of woman who silently supports you behind your back."

The emperor gave me a white look and said, "Nonsense. You women like to buy it for you men every three days. Spiritual support and material support are equally important! "

I have nothing to say but shrug my shoulders and pout. There are such women, but isn't such a simple woman what men like? How worry-free, a little gift was sent away.

Later, we went to a bar to drink.

It's a piano bar, and there are not many people in the whole venue. In the dim light, I swept to the booth, and almost all the men and women sat down.

In the center of the bar is the stage. A singer sang a folk song that I had never heard before and played the guitar. His voice is as light as a whisper, and he will probably fall asleep soon after listening with his eyes closed.

We sat down and ordered a glass of stout. Di Ye said, "Don't you want something strong?"

I shook my head, stared at him and said, "I'm afraid I'm drunk."

DiYe laughed. "It's okay. Du Danhua is dead, and being a ghost is also romantic. "

I smiled. "Well, it's not my style to be hungry."

The emperor took a sip of his wine and said, "Although I am a little worse than Lian, as long as you look closely, you can see that I am quite attractive."

Say and try to owe a body, his face hard to gather together in front of my eyes.

I pretended to be serious.

"how about it? Still handsome? " Diye showed a big white tooth and looked at me with high spirits.

I grinned and said, "That's it."

DiYe shook his head, sorry. "I really doubt whether you have aesthetic ability. Such a handsome young man is in front of you, you say so! "

Then, he raised his glass, looked at me and sighed, then bowed his head and took a sip.

In the bar, cups and lamps collide and people come and go. I drank a few more drinks, and even the light and shadow overlapped.

I can't drink well. I'm not allowed to drink any more when Lian is here. If the opposite sex is present, only I am allowed to drink. That's why I always call him too boring to know that he is drunk today.

"Why, miss him?" Maybe I was silent for too long, and Di Ye finally asked.

I shook my head and took my cup without looking at him. Replied in a similar whisper, "no, I'm just a little drunk."

"So ... sit down for a while and I'll take you home." Di Ye said.

"hmm." I nodded my head.

After sitting for about half an hour, the emperor said, "Let's go."

I stood up and walked out of the bar first. Diye went to the bar to check out, and soon followed him out.

There's nothing more to say. It was not until he sent me to the ground floor of the unit building that Di Ye said goodbye to me: "Good night. If you can't sleep, you can call me. "

I "hmm" and then watched him walk away before pressing the elevator.

When I entered the room, I kicked my high heels on the porch, walked barefoot to the living room and lay motionless on the sofa.

At this moment, the mobile phone rang, and I caught a look. It was Lian's phone. Without much thought, I refused to answer the phone.

Then turn the volume to mute. I didn't turn it off directly after all, for fear that he would worry.

Even stubbornly called several times, but when he saw that I still didn't pick up, he changed to SMS bombing.

"Slightly, you don't be angry, I know it's my fault. I shouldn't have promised to stay with you all the time, but I came to Australia to study. I promise you, as long as I have a holiday, I will go back to China to see you. "

"Slightly, I know I was wrong, you don't ignore me. During this time, if I call you, you don't reply to the text message, and neither do you. Do you know that I am afraid of losing you? "

"Slightly, please believe me, I will concentrate on learning knowledge and increasing my knowledge in Australia, and I will never do anything wrong to you."

"Slightly, you don't be angry, ok? I miss you so much that I dream about you every night. Please don't ignore me. "

……

I curled up on the sofa with my knees in my arms. Tears filled my eyes. "Lian, you are really scheming. Obviously, you broke the contract, but it made me a villain. "

Crying and crying, and I don't know what time it is, Sheng suddenly called me.

I quickly dried my tears and cleared my throat before I got through.

"Sheng, are you still up so late?" I'll speak first. It's a nice voice. I shouldn't admit that I just cried.

A Sheng smiled helplessly: "I want to sleep, too!" Actually, I'm already asleep. It was your company that called me. I was woken up. "

"oh? He called you? " I'm a little surprised.

"Yes, you ignored him for a month. Of course he is in a hurry. I said sister, he has gone to Australia, and no matter how angry and sad you are, you can't change this established fact. Don't be angry again. You have been together for four years, and there is nothing to get through. " A sheng said.

I listened silently, and my heart ached. "Ah sheng, you should know that long-distance love is not long-lasting, let alone foreign love. I have no confidence to wait that long, and I don't believe he won't like other people there. "

A Sheng was speechless and smiled, "But you don't believe in your feelings now that nothing has happened?"

I said, "Yes, I don't believe in our relationship, because I don't believe in human nature. I don't want to wait until that day comes, I will cry and regret not putting it down earlier. I don't want to go through so much suffering to have a doomed ending. "

"How do you know that your ending must be bad? How do you know it won't end up together? If you choose to give up without trying, aren't you afraid of losing someone who really loves you because of your cowardice? " Ah sheng asked.

I bit my lower lip, trying to control my trembling voice. "I don't want to try! Call me weak or fickle! I just don't want to experience the feeling of thinking about you day and night but not seeing you! "

Ah Sheng sighed and said, "Suit yourself. I just hope you won't regret it in the future. In addition, if you already have a decision in mind, tell Ang Lee early so that he can't find you and call around. "

I was silent for a long time and answered her, "I know."

"Then I'll hang up. I am sleepy. "

"hmm."

I hung up the phone and sat on the sofa for a long time. Even didn't call again I counted the missed calls, and there were 3 1 call.

The night outside the window is like ink, and people who have insomnia in the opposite building don't know what they are doing. The lights in the distance are as small as beans, and I suddenly shed tears with sadness.

Sheng is right. As early as Lian insisted on going to Australia, I had already made the decision to break up.

I don't want to endure a long sleepless night, just because I'm worried that I can't meet someone.

I don't want to see my lover in the street, but I can only miss him with red eyes.

I don't even want to receive small gifts from afar or love expressed by WeChat red envelopes on those special days.

I want to get along day and night, and every minute counts. Watch if you want, hug if you want, and kiss if you want.

These are all things that even companies in Australia can't satisfy me.

But we have been together for four years after all. I have always expected of him. So, after struggling for a month, I still couldn't tell him that I wanted to break up. Maybe it's time to talk tonight.

I took my mobile phone and carefully spelled "Let's break up" word by word. But I hesitated after the input.

Will I miss a man who loves me deeply? But instead of being afraid that he will leave me all day, I might as well cut the gordian knot and strike first.

With this in mind, I pressed the send button. When I saw the word success, I finally felt relaxed.

But I dare not wait for Lian's response, whether he agrees or refuses. Just turn off your cell phone.

Then I sat on the sofa for a long time and cried for a long time. This decision is far more sad than I expected. I was so tired that I fell asleep on the sofa until two o'clock in the morning.

Sleep till dawn.

It was the sunshine that woke me up the next day. When I opened my eyes, I saw that the sun had climbed onto my leg.

I don't know the time and I don't want to know. I'm afraid to turn on my cell phone and have a look.

I'm afraid that countless text messages will flood in at the moment I turn on my mobile phone. I'm also afraid of even calling suddenly.

That's all. Let me spend a quiet day.

I eat, drink and sleep at home and stay in the living room watching TV almost all day. Occasionally, I will stand by the window and look at the street outside and see the men, women and children living in the opposite building. It's all a little boring, so let's immerse ourselves in the film and television drama.

In the evening, Sheng came to my house to find me. Bang bang, bang bang, bang bang. "Ava, Ava, are you there? ! "

I didn't want to open the door, so I turned down the TV in the hope of pretending not to be at home.

But ah sheng didn't go. When he was tired, he knocked at the door instead. When he is tired, he kicks it with his foot. I love my door so much that I have to compromise and let her in.

She complained as soon as she entered the door. "Are you kidding? You are at home. Won't you open the door for me? I've been knocking outside for a long time! "

I rolled my eyes and said, "You didn't knock. You want to help me take it off! " "

Asheng was a little embarrassed. Instead of taking over, he accused me of turning off my mobile phone. "You say you, 22-year-old people still play mobile phones! Do you know I'm going crazy looking for you? I can't wait to buy a plane ticket right away! "

I sneered: "Why did he come back? Why didn't he leave when he came back? What about when I begged him not to go? "

Ah Sheng tugged at my shoulder. "Hoa, don't do this. Men always put their careers first. Think about it. As an undergraduate, what can you achieve in China? Go abroad to study, see the world and learn something, otherwise what will I marry you in the future? "

I said, "I know all this, and I can understand him. But understanding is understanding, and I still can't accept foreign love. "

He has his bright future in Wan Li to pursue, and I also have my little love to enjoy. Love that can't be with me, I'd rather not.

Ah Sheng sighed and said, "Then you should explain your decision to him and finish your malicious words at once. Don't let him bump around like a headless fly. "

I giggled and said "yes". Then bring your mobile phone and turn it on.

Sure enough, as soon as the mobile phone is turned on, it is bombarded by text messages, and the prompts are one after another. I didn't have time to watch it, so I called Lian first

"Hey, Weiwei, you finally called me ..." Lian's voice came from the other end of the phone, which was both familiar and a little strange.

I forced a smile and said, "Lian, let's break up."

Lian cried and begged me, "Wei, I know you never wanted me to come to Australia, but I didn't expect you to reject foreign love so much." I beg you, give me a chance, I'll be right back. Let's not break up, okay? "

I also cried, shaking my head while crying. "It's no use of cheap, you have made a choice. You have your pursuit, and I have my persistence. I don't want you to sacrifice anything for me, and I don't want to compromise anything for you. That's it. You are very good in Australia. "

"Have you thought about it?" After a month of cold war, he probably knew my determination, and at this time he was a little sad and desperate.

I said, "I thought about it."

"Is there really no possibility of recovery?" Lian asked.

I replied, "No.If you really have feelings for me, call me after graduation. Besides, don't be bored any more. Things between us, we solve ourselves. "

Lian said, "Well, since you have made a decision, I respect your choice."

"Well, I'll hang up." I said.

Li Anhui: "Good."

In this way, Lian and I finally broke up. I feel relieved, too From then on, he doesn't have to worry about me anymore, and he can fly high without any burden.

After hanging up the phone, I said to Ah Sheng, "Have a drink with me, and don't go home until you get drunk."

A Sheng said, "Good."

I can't remember exactly how much wine we drank that day. I only remember the beautiful sunset that day, and the rosy clouds hung beautifully on the horizon. We stood at the window, I closed my eyes and felt a little lonely.

After learning that Lian and I broke up, the emperor had to say that I was confused by him, so I made such a personal decision.

In this regard, I can only roll my eyes to show disdain and speechless.

Sheng still comes to my house from time to time. Every time you look for me, you will get drunk with me and throw up stains all over the floor. When we wake up the next day, we always have to secretly clean the house.

She always says "I'll never drink with you again"! But she didn't last long. She always jumped up and watched me fill her glass under my temptation.

It was not until she fell in love and was busy eating, shopping and watching movies with her boyfriend that she had time to come to my house and drink with me.

After about two months, she fell madly in love. Suddenly one day, she asked me, "I was afraid to ask you before, for fear that you would be sad ... Will you miss him?"

I thought about it and said, "I don't miss him very much."

But I will still miss him. Think of the days when we were together and the little things he said to me.

Of course, I will also guess how he is living in Australia now, whether he has fallen in love with another girl, or which girl has begun to pursue him.

I can also learn about his recent situation from his circle of friends or friends from time to time. But I dare not contact him again, nor dare I give him praise and comments.

I was afraid I couldn't control it, so I softened my heart for a while and then made up with him. I am also afraid that he has another love, and the girl in his heart is no longer me.

I can only watch from a distance, and I can't order him to do what he should do.

I will still miss him. When a person goes out to eat, when a person is sitting in the cinema, when a holiday suddenly comes to mind, he will think of it every night when he sleeps.

But I'm used to being alone. I am used to eating alone, going to the hospital cinema alone, shopping without buying anything, traveling with a group in a strange country, with a smile on my face.

I think one day I will stop thinking about him, and he will eventually forget me. Forgetting each other in the rivers and lakes may be our best ending.