In a word, 28 classic funny quotations _ Don't let your sister expel your brother-in-law. There's a caller ID.

1, no one can stop me from walking slowly towards the door of being late.

2. We may not feel happy when we are in love, or we may be happy instead of being in love.

3, a classic sentence: if you are not hit, you will always be naive and poor, and it is difficult to be an adult.

I am willing to copy others' happiness and not create my own sadness.

5, I want to thin into a flash of lightning, illuminating all the fat people.

6. I studied sacred knowledge, and you actually measured it with scores, which is simply an academic stain! ! !

I know you know shit like a farmer's uncle.

8. I want to talk to Tan Mo about simple love for five years, then marry him and live in his house for free for a lifetime.

9. My socks are all holes, and my future is not a dream.

10, I am in a bad mood today. I just want to say four words, including the above two, and I'm done.

1 1. As a foodie, eating doesn't mean I'm hungry, just because my mouth is lonely.

12, it is said that strong melon is not sweet, so I like bitter gourd.

13, I really want to talk to you about quality, but I can't stand you even if I endure shit and urine.

14, when all three friends are 2 goods. . I'm not normal myself . .

15, aunt, hello, I'm your son's boyfriend!

16, at noon, a woman asked her two male colleagues if they wanted to eat tofu. Almost got my meal out.

17, it is said that strong melon is not sweet, so I like bitter gourd.

18, when all three of my friends are trading stocks, I am abnormal. . .

19, the furthest distance in the world is that we go out together. You buy four generations of apples and I buy four generations of apples.

20. I really want to strangle my weak and softhearted self!

2 1, think of a thousand roads at night, get up in the morning and take the original road.

22. It is said that love and marriage are the graves of marriage, so if you love and don't get married, don't you want to throw your body in the wilderness?

23. Don't let Sister Mao discharge. Brother-in-law has caller ID.

24. I remember a poet I used to like once wrote a father who chased the sun. Since we can't catch up, we hit it.

25. People laugh at me for not wearing anything, and I laugh at others for not wearing anything.

26. If you have a pair of wings, you should be braised.

27, a minute of heart, an hour of love, a day of love. Forget him, but it's a lifetime.

28. What is a mistress? At best, he is only one person.

In a word, 28 funny quotations _ Laugh to death without paying.

1, I lay on the ground and vomited foam for a long time, only to find that my grandmother was dead.

2. Before being shot, the young man shouted in despair: Who the fuck told me that killing lives long!

Feng Laohan received a critical notice from the doctor to his son, and then calmly wrote down what he read.

4. Sometimes when I feel a lot of pressure, I will knead instant noodles, shrimp strips and grandma with weak bones.

I will go to the operating table tomorrow. What program should I perform?

6. After sticking to the murderer, the police never let go of the biting criminal's mouth.

7. Wukong shouted to eat my old grandson, but King Jinjiao was shocked and opened his mouth.

8. The act of flogging shows a very ugly moral problem: bullying honest people.

9. Your Majesty, Po Hou went into a worse place, clamoring to know who shot him on the stone.

10, the candidates for the college entrance examination will be late for the exam, and the enthusiastic taxi driver will send them to the Internet cafe.

1 1. My neighbor actually scolded his wife. If it wasn't too cold, I really wanted to come out of his closet and beat him up.

12, timid Xiaoming practiced courage for 20 years and finally got gallbladder edema.

13. Tomorrow is my roommate's birthday. Kill or not?

14, quarreled with his girlfriend, threatened to wait and see, and now he has looked at each other for more than ten miles.

15. Mothballs are the worst hard candy I have ever eaten. They have a strange smell. How can anyone buy it?

16. When my friends get married, I wish them an early birth and let me go out. Am I wrong? Is homosexuality a big deal?

17. In order to treat facial paralysis, the doctor downloaded the 1GB expression pack for me.

18. How should I abuse a family in order to be on the famous star-making program "Deformation Meter"?

19, the fortune teller said that I was rich all my life, and only after I died did I know that billions were small money.

20. Boss, do these big fish have teeth in their mouths? He said no, so I picked the one with the biggest mouth and started to take off my pants.

2 1. In class, suddenly rushed into two bull's-head faces to take away Xiao Ming's ill-fated life, and the whole class cast envious eyes one after another.

22. Guess who I am? Xiaoming picked up the rope and grabbed the teacher by the neck.

23. Lao Wang fell into the dry well at the entrance of the village. With the enthusiastic help of the villagers, he finally adapted to the life at the bottom of the well.

24. In return for my beloved bed being slept by me every day, I decided to get under the bed and let the bed sleep me for one night.

There are many wild boars on the way to school recently. Please be careful not to step on wild boar shit.

26. After the words loyal to the country were engraved on his back, Yue Fei's mother Yu Xing dug up another 3D effect.

27. After strangling the 500th classmate, the idiot finally learned to wear a red scarf.

28. Wang Laohan, who longed for his son, went to the temple to pray for Guanyin Bodhisattva to give him a son.

40 classic one-sentence funny quotations

1, you are not a VIp, not even an Ip, you are just a P.

2, white camel mountain strong bone powder, a knife coated with a bag, you still want to get a second knife …

3. Someone is alive, but he is dead; Some people are alive, and he should have died.

If my sister goes crazy one day, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

5. Looking at beautiful women in the street, the high ones are appreciation … the low ones are hooligans.

6. Boss, do you have any coke? Give me a sprite. ...

7. Not all men and women are equal. Why can't I go to the ladies' room?

8. I am not afraid to kick you. I'm just afraid that Nike on my feet will get dirty.

9. Ask what the world is, and tell people to take off their clothes and pants.

10, there are many ways to end friendship, and the most thorough one is to borrow money and not pay it back.

1 1, Emperor: Sister Rong, why are you making things difficult for Swallow and Wei Zi everywhere? What's your motive, you humble slave? Sister Rong knelt on the ground and said with tears in her eyes, Your Majesty, do you remember the summer by Daming Lake and Sister Rong who was rowing?

12, the furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but the exam is coming soon. Others are reviewing, but they are previewing. More tragically, people passed the preview, but you failed the review.

13, everyone who doesn't want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart!

14, the two most difficult things in the world: one is to put your own thoughts into other people's heads, and the other is to put other people's money into your own pockets. The former successfully called the teacher, while the latter successfully called the boss. Both of them successfully called their wives or universities or churches!

15, alive will die sooner or later; If you die, you will live forever.

16, there is a crash called password input error, a panic called account login in different places, a feeling called invisibility, a misunderstanding called human-computer offline, and a loss that you have no access rights!

17, you did it right, no one will remember; When doing something wrong, even breathing is wrong!

18, the trip to shenzhou is ok for me. I don't have to pay to see if you can do it.

19, Baidu couldn't find you, so it had to enter sogou!

20, men are dumped, the problem of money; Women are dumped, they look bad, I am dumped, and you are fucking crazy.

2 1, goods have a shelf life, and people are sometimes tired of watching them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

22, they all say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact they are all made up.

23, people can't judge by appearances, and the third can't be measured.

24. Every woman is always mean to a man.

25. Distance produces not beauty, but a third party.

26. Cucumber must be filmed, and life must be embarrassing.

27. My brother smokes because he hurts his lungs and is not sad.

28. Women mix well, they are nephews, but they mix badly, they are bitches.

29. Wages are like a period, once a month and gone in a week or so.

30. Failure is success. Damn it, I already have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.

3 1, I would have thrown you out if the teacher hadn't said you couldn't litter.

32. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

33. Me Before You, my world is black and white. After meeting you, wow! It's all black ...

Don't swear to me, I'm afraid you'll be struck by lightning! !

35. The most brilliant moment of Apple was hitting Newton on the head.

36. I am dead and have something to burn. Small things arouse the soul, big things dig the grave. Really miss me, come down and stay with me. If you encounter a line, it is purely a walking corpse.

Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.

38, bald donkey, dare to rob the teacher with being original?

39. If I die, please burn me a sister.

40. There are thousands of men in Qian Qian, and I have to change them every day.

A classic sentence, 37 funny quotations

1, the furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but the exam is coming soon. Others are reviewing, but they are previewing. More tragically, people passed the preview, but you failed the review.

2. Me Before You, my world is black and white. After meeting you, wow! utter darkness

3, people can't judge by appearances, and the third one can't be measured.

Distance does not produce beauty, but a third party.

5, the goods have a shelf life, and people are tired of watching them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

6. Baidu couldn't find you, so it had to go to sogou!

7. spread soy sauce all over the world and make others jealous.

If my sister goes crazy one day, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

9. In order to be a civil servant, I gave birth to a leader's son.

10, the most brilliant moment of Apple was hitting Newton on the head.

1 1, looking at beautiful women in the street, the high ones appreciate the low ones are hooligans.

12, cucumber must be filmed, and life must be embarrassing. Yidian market network

13, you did it right, no one will remember; When doing something wrong, even breathing is wrong!

14, ask what the world is like, and tell people to take off their clothes and pants.

15, the face is a thing outside the body. Whether it is necessary or not, money is a must.

16, there are thousands of men in Qian Qian, and I have to change them every day.

17, there is a person alive and he is dead; Some people are alive, and he should have died.

18, I smoke because it hurts my lungs, not my heart.

19, the woman is a sister-in-law, but she is a bitch.

20, you are not a VIp, not even an Ip, you are just a P.

2 1, living will die sooner or later; If you die, you will live forever.

22, white camel mountain strong bone powder, get a knife to apply a pack, but also want to get a second knife.

23, failure is success, damn it, then I already have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.

24, the man was dumped, the problem of money; Women are dumped, they look bad, I am dumped, and you are fucking crazy.

25, don't swear to me, I'm afraid you will be struck by lightning! !

26. Every woman is always mean to a man.

27. Your Majesty, do you still remember the summer by Daming Lake, the sister Rong who punted?

28. Boss, do you have any coke? Give me a bottle of sprite.

29. I am dead and have something to burn. Small things arouse the soul, big things dig the grave. Really miss me, come down and stay with me. If you encounter a line, it is purely a walking corpse.

30. If I die, please burn me a sister.

3 1, everyone who doesn't want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart!

32. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

33. The salary is like a period, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so.

If the teacher hadn't said you couldn't litter, I would have thrown you out.

35. A trip to Shenzhou is ok for me, but I won't spend money to see if you can do it.

36. Everyone said that my sister was beautiful, but she actually made it up.

Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.