What is the funniest sentence in history?

1: I smile from side to side to the sky, and after I finish laughing, I go to sleep.

2: The cashier said: I have no change, so I’ll give you two plastic bags!

3: My advantage is: I am very handsome; but my disadvantage is: I am not obviously handsome.

4: What is happiness? Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters!

5: My life has side A and side B, your life has side S and side B.

6: I am a fat person, not a rough person.

7: If Taiwan is not recovered for a day, I will not be able to reach level 4!

8: If the sun doesn’t come out, I won’t go to work; if it does, I’ll continue to sleep!

9: Running snail.

10: Picking up girls is like hanging out on QQ. If you coax her for 2 hours a day, you will soon be able to enjoy the sun.

11: Talking about money doesn’t hurt feelings, but talking about feelings hurts money the most.

12: I curse you for buying instant noodles without seasoning packets for the rest of your life.

13: The accountant said: "You can come and collect your salary later, I don't have any change."

14: Can you tell I put on powder?

15: Even though you are wearing cologne, I can still smell a faint smell of scum.

16: My name is Rain, and my nickname is Runtu.

17: I am an angel. The reason why I cannot go back to heaven is because of my weight.

18: Once I was on the street, a group of girls stopped me. They said I was handsome, but I refused to admit it, so they beat me and called me hypocritical.

19: Both homely and rotten, the future is uncertain.

20: Make a cup of Sanlu and drink it.

21: The most mysterious department in history: the relevant departments.

22: It is undeniable that mosaics are the biggest obstacle to the progress of human nude art in this century!

23: There are only two things I can’t do in my life: I can’t do this, and I can’t do that.

24: Others have a background, but I have a back view.

25: The ideal of meat, the destiny of cabbage.

26: White horse... where did you die! Did you lose the prince and dare not come to see me?

27: When your mother gave birth to you, did she throw away the placenta and raise it?

28: Don’t mistake shrimps for seafood.

29: Please give me a serving of Yangzhou fried rice, more chopped green onion, a little salt, and an extra egg, and take it away.

30: Is your father’s cousin?

31: Every morning when I get up, I read the "Forbes" rich list. If my name is not on it, I go to work.

32: There are too many liars and not enough fools.

33: I am the princess who cuts thorns and kills dragons on the road, travels across rivers and climbs to the top of the tower, and is responsible for kissing you awake.

34: Why should I kill you, my love?

35: Your mobile phone is cheaper than the phone bill.

36: The road is long and long, so let’s fight it.

37: Others pretend to be good, but I have to pretend to be experienced.

38: We are not afraid of Touer bringing tools, but we are afraid that Touer understands technology!

1. Money is not the problem, the problem is lack of money!

2. When I’m drunk, I won’t accept anyone, so I’ll hold on to the wall!

3. I’m like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but looking for No way out.

4. Senior brother, do you know? The second brother’s meat is now more expensive than the master’s.

5. If eating more fish can replenish the brain and make people smarter, then you have to eat at least a pair of whales...

6. If the water is clear, there will be no fish; if the people are humble, they will be invincible.

7. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks like there is a lot of it, but when you use it, it is not enough. 8. Pregnancy is like pregnancy. It takes a long time for people to notice it.

9. Friends around me, please become famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well~~~

10. Colleagues may be nervous when they go to meet clients. , as soon as he opened his mouth, he said: "Hello, Mr. Liu, what is your surname?" Oh~~~~~~

11. A female classmate is a bit darker, and her boyfriend is a bit too fair. The venomous queen suddenly said to her in Tian's dormitory: "You can't do this, you will give birth to zebras."

12. I have always regarded handsome boys and money as dirt, and they have always regarded them that way. Mine

13. Don’t compare yourself to me, I am too lazy to compare with you

14. I am not a casual person, I am not a human being when I am casual

15 .God said, let there be light, but I said I opposed it, and from then on there was darkness in the world

16. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four things to say, including this sentence and the previous two sentences. I’ve finished my words...

17. To be a human being, you must be a person hovering between cow A and cow C

18. My big name is God, and my little name is God. His name is Jesus, his English name is God, his dharma name is Tathagata...

19. You can’t hang yourself on a tree, you have to try to hang yourself on several nearby trees

20. A tree without bark will surely die; a man without shame will be invincible in the world.

21. The farmer’s three punches hurt a little

22. In fact, I have always been very popular: when I was a child, everyone loved me, but now I am loved by bitches

23. Don’t be afraid of enemies who are like tigers, but be afraid of teammates who are like pigs

24. Go your own way and let others take a taxi

25. Rats carry knives. Looking for cats all over the street

26. As long as you work hard and poop seriously

27. Who is the fastest in China? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because Cao Cao and Cao Cao are here

28. Get away as far as your thoughts go

29. Only when you stand in a long queue at the train station can you truly realize that you are "Descendants of the Dragon".

32. Lie down wherever you fall

33. If the tiger doesn’t show its power, you think I am HELLO KITTY!

34. A donkey is a wrong idea~

◆A woman is fat, plump, slim, tall, slender, short, petite; a fat man is fat, a pig is thin, a rib is tall, a bamboo pole Short is a winter melon◆Professor: 90% of adult women in our country are not virgins. The president sent a letter to other 10% of women. Have you heard about this? The girls shook their heads. "Then you haven't received the letter!" ◆ "How much do you love me?" "As much as a dime." "Is that all?" "Isn't a dime equal to 'ten'?" ◆You You are very creative. Living is your courage. Being ugly is not your original intention. It is God who lost his temper. If you continue to live, without you, who will bring out the beauty of the world!

01. The early bird catches the worm, the early bird catches the worm!

02. I was arguing with a girl about whether whales are fish. Finally, I said, "Japanese people also have personal characters," and she finally agreed that whales are not fish.

03. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is wrong, no matter how hard you try, it will be useless.

04. If replying was a virtue, then I would have become a saint long ago.

05. Life cannot be like cooking, where you have to prepare all the ingredients before cooking.

06. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for 20 years!

07. Wear other people’s shoes, go your own way, and let them find it.

08. There is a very old legend, saying that people who can see beautiful women on XX campus will live forever...

09. Could it be that if all the eggs in the world unite, they will live forever? Can it break a stone? ! So you should be more realistic as a human being...

10. Don’t be afraid of enemies who are like tigers, but be afraid of teammates who are like pigs!

11. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I couldn’t even drink the northwest wind...

12. I once had a pair of wings, but I didn’t use them. Soar in the sky, but put it in a pot to stew soup...

13. If the water is clear, there will be no fish, and if the people are humble, they will be invincible!

14. I am not a casual person, I am not a casual person.

15. Today a group of Japanese people came to visit our school - to be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes!

16. Go as far as your thoughts go! ! !

17. I am very poor, my servant is also very poor, my gardener is also very poor, my driver is also very poor...

18. The bank said when charging: "This is in line with international practice!" The service said: "China's national conditions must be considered!"

19. The one riding the white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be Tang Monk; the one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he Probably Birdman.

20. Pregnancy is like pregnancy, it takes a long time for people to see it.

21. The higher you stand, the farther you pee.

22. A college student’s minimum goal: a farmer’s wife, a mountain spring, and some farmland

23. My friend’s name on his girlfriend’s cell phone is “him”. Later they broke up. Became "it"...

24. Don't come to me if you have nothing to do, and don't come to me if you have something to do!

25. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

26. Buddha said: "It takes 500 looks back in the past life to get one pass in this life." I would rather have a pass in the next life in exchange for 500 looks back in this life.

27. What can I do to torture your lover to death...

28. The Internet is like a prison. You enter with a stolen wallet, but when you get out, everything is gone. Learned.

29. The reason why angels can fly is because they take themselves very lightly...

30. I want to fall in love early, but it is too late...

31.Master! Just obey me!

32. I love you! What does it have to do with you?

33. There is no limit to learning, only to return to the shore!

34. Life is fun, because life always plays with me!

35. I only believe in two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

36. I don’t know whose wife is on my bed, I don’t know whose bed my wife is on!

37. I really want to call your grandfather: Dad!

38. Beijing University of Science and Technology deceived me for four years of college, so I plan to use the knowledge that Beijing University of Science and Technology taught me to deceive society for the rest of my life!

39. Friends around me, hurry up and become famous, so that my memoirs can sell well~~~

40. When you put on the wedding dress of love , I also put on the monk's cassock...

41. I have never seen such a disgusting school - the midterm exam is scheduled for May 8th! ! ! (Taboo)

42. House prices are getting higher and higher, so there are fewer and fewer good men...

43. If I become the emperor, I will make you the prince!

44. My friend’s name on his girlfriend’s mobile phone was “him”. Later they broke up and it became “it”...

45. Never reduced to An excellent college student relies on strong character!

46. Damn it, I got complained! The customer said that the mp3 file I gave him had no images!

47. Sometimes life is like being raped by a eunuch - resisting is painful, not resisting is still painful!

48. Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to 6!

49. The sun rises in the east and rains in the west. The teacher is ruthless and I am affectionate. So I have to fight with my classmates during the exam!

50. Hugging is really a strange thing. They are so close but can’t see each other’s faces

--------------- -------------------------------------------------- ----------

1 Dinosaur said: "When you meet a pervert, don't panic; when you meet a beast, take your time and enjoy..."

2 Find If you can't find dinosaurs, just use lizard tops

3 Guan Yu has a long beard with five locks, a graceful demeanor, and carries the Qinglong Yanyue Sword. People in the world give him the nickname Daolang.

4 Men and women are just animals of desire after all! Can they really be united because of love? Sorry, I don’t know either. .

5 Don’t step on the wild flowers on the roadside.

6 Eating and drinking are the primary productive forces.

7 Menstruation is not only a pain for women, but also a pain for men.

8 When are the two lovers hugging each other? The two are watching the fun from the side.

9 Yesterday, Xihua smiled at me, and she was so happy that I kept counting sheep at night, one sheep, two sheep, three sheep...

10 When I grow up, I will marry Tang Seng is a husband. If you can play with him, play with him. If you can't play with him, eat him.

11 If a man has impulse, he may love you, or he may not love you, but if he has no impulse, he definitely does not love you!

12 Stand higher and pee further.

13 Female, she likes sweets and is very fat! This female has a hobby: she hates ants and will kill them whenever she sees them. When asked why, he said: This little thing loves sweets so much, and his waist is so thin!

14 Break the wife’s lifelong system and implement the aunt’s shareholding system. Introduce the young lady competition system and promote the lover contract system.

15 On a crowded bus, a girl suddenly shouted: Stop being so crowded! Stop crowding! Squeeze out all the milk from others! (She is holding yogurt).

16 I am not in the arena, but there is my legend in the arena.

17 I am in the world, but there is no legend about me in the world.

18 If I am trying to trick you, just accuse me of not learning the "Three Represents".

19 If replying was a virtue, then I would have become a saint long ago!

20 Sleep is an art - no one can stop me from pursuing art!

21 The rice is in the pot, and I am on the bed *^_^*

22 Falling in love is like countless meals, and getting married is just one meal.

23 Let’s go, MM, let’s turn into butterflies and go...

24 Protect the environment, everyone is sick.

25 Love - is not thought out, love - is made!!

26 If you love her, please perform a painless abortion for her!

27 I never write the word "cuo", but I write the word "tong"!

28 The effect of contraception: if it fails, you will become a "person".

29 Erection is not a panacea, but the inability to have an erection is absolutely impossible!

30 Don’t hang yourself from a tree, try hanging from several nearby trees. Several times~

31 If I’m not falling asleep in class, I’m getting drunk at the wine table.

32 I look so creative and live so courageously!

33 Since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me anymore.

34 Ugly, but very ugly, that is, very ugly!

35 Wear other people’s shoes, go your own way, and let them find it.

36 Exercise in bed can also help you lose weight, don’t you know?

37 Urination and defecation are prohibited here, and tools will be confiscated for violators.

38 Only when you reach the point of cramping in reading can your thinking be as clear as diabetes!

39 Buddha said, form is emptiness, emptiness is form! Tonight, I would like to think about emptiness for a moment.

40 The reason why many female celebrities are not popular is because they don’t open their legs*^_^*

41 It’s better to spend money to do it every day!*^_^*

42 To explain is to cover up, to cover up is to make up stories!

43 The ultimate classic is the spot!!!

44 God, you let summer and winter have sex, right? What a terrible weather!

45 Vulnerabilities and patches are flying together, and the blue screen of death is the same!

46 When a beautiful woman leaves without hugging her, she often makes the pervert burst into tears. . . . . .

47 Practice one breath inside and one breath outside.

48 Men are reliable, sows can climb trees!

49 Men’s IQ when cheating is second only to Einstein!

50 Yours Ugliness has nothing to do with your face. . . . . .

51. In fact, I am a genius, but it is a pity that God is jealous of talents!

52 Life cannot be like cooking, you have to prepare all the ingredients before putting it into the pot!

53 The important thing in life is not where you stand, but the direction you are facing!

54 Since ancient times, no one has ever died. You don’t need paper to poop!

55 If you can’t explain clearly to your instructor, then just make him confused!

56 If there are a pair of eyes to cry with me, life will be worth suffering for me.

57 It will be great when hardware can also be COPYed!

58 Life is fucking fun, because life is fucking fun to me!

59 All unforgettable love The moment when the soul wanders on the bed!

60 When the sky falls, you hold it up and I’ll cushion it!

61 Listen to what you say and save me ten books!

62 I’m the one who takes off my clothes Beast, I am a beast when I put on clothes!

63 Study hard for China! A packet of China costs a lot~~~

64 My ID is fake, don’t believe it I'm a liar.

65 My mother always said that our family wouldn’t be so poor if we didn’t have telephones.

66 I like children, and I even like the process of making children!

67 I lost a penny on the side of the road!

68 When it rains, don’t forget to hold an umbrella. If you are wet, gonorrhea will be a problem*^_^*

69 The art of self-cultivation is actually the art of lying.

70 There is no limit to learning, but turning back will bring you back!

71 A momentary impulse, a crisis for your descendants!

72 I am not a casual person, but if you want to Whatever, then I'll do whatever you want!

73 Be a secretary when you have something to do, and be a secretary when you have nothing to do!

74 Keep up with the times, you and I will have a climax!

75 As long as we are not obscene, we It’s the mainstream!

76 Only fakes are real, everything else is fake!

77 E.net is deeply in love with E.net. Go your own way and let someone else take a taxi.

78 students, easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

79 The hooligans are not scary, but the hooligans are educated.

80 People who make love and mate.

81 Who was I before I was born, and who am I after I was born?

82 Death teaches people everything, just like the results announced after an exam - although I suddenly realized it, it was too late~!

83 If you don’t become bad in debauchery, you will become perverted in silence!

84 After passing through youth, my feet have blisters

85 Business girls don’t know the hatred of subjugating their country, and prostitutes don’t know extramarital affairs.

86 The beasts still have some compassion, but I have none, so I am not a beast.

87 All men are created equal, except those who are married.

88 Build muscles to avoid getting beaten!

89 After watching all the porn movies in the world, there is no code in my heart~

90 If dinosaurs are humans, what are humans?

91 Those who are more talented than me are not as handsome as me, and those who are more handsome than me are not as talented as me!

92 Without passionate kiss, how can there be rolling on the bed?

93 Don’t fail to irrigate just because the pit is small, and don’t irrigate just because the pit is big.

94 With two yuan in mind, five million in mind!

95 Explanation is a cover-up. Cover-up means there is no excellence. If there is no excellence, it is better to go home and rest!!!

96 I really want to call your grandpa: Dad!

97 Microcomputer principles are in crisis, random processes are passed randomly, real variable functions have been learned ten times, and assembly language cannot be compiled!

98 Without pornographic films, sex education in China would be completely blank!

99 Before getting married, men find few women suitable for them, but after getting married, there are many women suitable for them.

100 Life is not meant to be, but meeting each other is even harder. To tell the truth, who doesn’t love money? 1. If you push me again, I will pretend to be dead for you!

2. Not only do I have a car, I also drive my own bicycle!

3. If you like it, I’ll buy it for you... (After realizing the other person’s anger) Oh no, it’s “Brother, I’ll buy it for you!”

4. There are so many people who despise me, who do you think you are?

5. Even if you beat me to death, you haven’t even tried to trick me yet!

6. Not only do I have good luck, but I also have good athlete’s foot!

7. Mirrors always reflect light!

8. Is there a P for handsome? Maybe he will be eaten by pawns!

9. If you leave it to me, you don’t have to worry, nothing can go wrong!

10. Don’t be nervous, I’m not a good person...

11. Don’t worry if something happens to your girlfriend if she follows me - as long as she lays an egg, we will Step on the egg immediately and never let the principal or parents know!

12. Don’t thank me. How can I have the nerve to collect money from you after thanking you!

13. Don’t tell me to come here—I am Afanti!

14. If you don’t pay attention to me, then I will become a dog and ignore you!

15. When will the bright moon come? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

16. If you can’t reach it, try stepping on the left foot and the right foot.

17. Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died long ago!

18. You said...you like me? Actually...at first...I actually...well, let me tell you, I actually like myself quite a lot.

19. Do you want to drink water, water, or water? It’s up to you!

20. The green hills are still there, just a little red.

21. Say what you should say, and whisper what you shouldn’t.

22. For scholars Can you say you stole something?

23. It’s annoying, don’t ask single men this kind of question!

24. Zi once said: Don’t regard my tolerance of you as your shameless capital!

25. Don’t think that just because I am handsome, you think I am unattainable and unattainable. In fact, I am open to all rivers.

26. The weather is good today, windy and rainy. .

27. As a typical failure, you are so successful!

28. I really want to get rid of this little bug, but my tongue is not long enough...

29. The feet of three cobblers stink as much as one Zhuge Liang.

30. In this golden autumn with red maple leaves...

31. One cuts the thyroid hormone, the other does not.

32. I will tie you up if you bother me again. Let’s borrow arrows from the straw boat!

33. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. You have to pay back the money you owe!

34.A: Where to eat? I have no money.

B: Let’s go to a restaurant, I’ll pay for the water pipe.

35 .See if there is anything that should be left behind but not?

36. I have a green dragon on my left and a tattoo on my waist. I have a Mickey Mouse tattoo on my waist. 38.A: It’s hard to swallow this bad breath without revenge.

B: Then how can I let you die?

40. She is so fat that I can’t twist her arm with my thighs.

41. There is a way to Shushan first. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to the grandchildren.

43. I can do my homework well!

44.A: Have you done your homework?

B: Sit down! Well, it's still warm under the butt... You want it? Here you go.

45. Who is in charge today? He didn't even wipe the blackboard!

46. How much does this shoe cost per pound?

47. It really blinded me...

48. Is this blind man a blind man?

2. Not only do I have a car, I also drive my own bicycle!

3. If you like it, I’ll buy it for you... (After realizing the other person’s anger) Oh no, it’s “Brother,

I'll buy it for you! ”

4. There are so many people who despise me, who do you think you are?

5. Even if you beat me to death, you haven’t even used a beauty trick yet!

6. Not only do I have good luck, but I also have bad athlete’s foot!

7. Mirrors always reflect light!

8. Is there a P that I can use? It's not like being eaten by pawns!

9. Don't worry if you leave it to me, nothing can go wrong!

10. Don't be nervous, I'm not a good person... ....

11. Don’t worry if something happens to your girlfriend if she follows me—as soon as she lays an egg, we will crush it immediately and never let the principal or parents know about it!

12. Don’t thank me. How dare I collect money from you after thanking you?

13. Don’t tell me to come over—I’m Afanti!

14. If you ignore me, then I will ignore you!

15. When will the bright moon come?

16. I can’t reach it with my left foot! Try stepping on your right foot

17. Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are alive, but they should have died long ago!

18. You said...you Like me? Actually... I started... Actually, I also... Well, let me tell you, I actually like myself quite a lot.

19. Do you drink water, or do you like me? Drink water or water? It’s up to you!

20. The green hills are still there, just a little red.

21. Say what you should say, and whisper what you shouldn’t.

22. Can you say that a scholar is stealing?

23. I hate it, don’t ask a single man such a question!

24. Zi once said. : Don’t take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital!

25. Don’t think that just because I’m handsome, you think I’m unattainable and unattainable. In fact, I’m open to all rivers.

26. The weather is nice today, windy and rainy.

27. As a typical example of failure, you are so successful!

28. I really want to eliminate you! This little bug, but my tongue is not long enough...

29. The feet of three cobblers stink to the death of one Zhuge Liang.

30. In this golden autumn with red maple leaves... ....

31. One will cut off thyroid hormone, and the other will not.

32. If you bother me again, I will tie you to a straw boat and borrow arrows!

33. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. You owe me money!

34. A: Where to eat? I have no money.

B: Let’s go to a restaurant. , I ask----water pipe.

35. Are there any that should be dropped?

36. I have a green dragon on my left and a Mickey Mouse on my waist. . 38.A: It’s hard to swallow this bad breath without revenge.

B: How can I let you die?

40. She is so fat that my thighs are twisted. But her arm.

41. There is a road in the mountain of books, but it must be clean first, and there is no limit to the sea of ??learning. Eight treasures are used to make porridge.

42. The world is ours, and it is also our sons’. But in the end it belongs to the grandchildren.

43. I can do my homework!

44.A: Have you done your homework?

B: Sit down! Well, it’s still warm under the buttocks... You want it? Here you go.

45. Who is in charge today? He didn’t even wipe the blackboard!

46. How much do these shoes cost per pound?