What do you think of cheating?

A long time ago, an all-star scout revealed that Chen Sicheng was in a room with two women in the middle of the night. Considering that the probability of playing luminous poker in the dark is too low, it is inevitable that people will have the speculation of double flight derailment.

Adding a little bit to the star cheating team is the drama of a man and two women, which naturally attracts people's discussion. But after the excitement, it seems to have returned to the familiar routine.

Scold the derailed garbage and continue to scold, wishing that love rat love rat would explode on the spot. This is correct and useless. People who cheat pursue or care about moral understanding.

Some critics with extreme emotions will consciously or unconsciously hide under the moral cloak to vent their anger. Maybe I or people around me have experienced infidelity, so I am full of resentment and just have the target of a star. When will we stop filming? It is often these people who, after attacking a phone call, accidentally find that in the face of their spouse's infidelity, the other half actually chose to forgive, so they turned their backs and complained that the "victim" was weak and incompetent.

Some people try to get rid of cheating, especially men who bear more pressure to support their families. The most typical statement is that "cheating is a man's nature", "there is no cat that doesn't cheat" and "a man is not guilty of cheating when he is tired". This is completely nonsense, so robber logic, just like the answer in the paragraph: "Women are very tired when they have children, don't care whose it is, okay?"

A strange phenomenon is that when we are talking about cheating, few people regard it as a routine fault in human nature and life operation. More people just take the result of cheating, or flogging, or excuses. And this happens to be extremely lazy.

First of all, we must figure out what cheating is and why.

For some people, cheating is a spontaneous pursuit. Of course, this is extremely excessive, but you can't put people who take the initiative to cheat on the moral judgment seat. He was ready before the act happened.

For others, cheating is a passive way to escape under high pressure.

When love becomes a habit and marriage enters daily life, it will become more and more difficult to find novelty and interest. Most people will give up their obsession and tend to be stable, which is a compromise in the secular sense, even if the price is "seven-year itch" or "like holding the right hand with the left hand". A few people will try to overweight their marriage by constantly setting the same goals and trying to emphasize self-realization. This is the most ideal road. Of course, there are other people with immature minds and unstable thoughts, who will go to the derailment direction because of temporary emotional impulse or emotional attraction.

For such people, cheating means that men can't control their inner boys and women can't keep their inner girls. This is an embarrassing mistake, but no one can stop it except the party concerned.

Seriously speaking, derailment is like a normal possibility in the operation of complex machines, and some faults will lead to it. To some extent, I was not fully prepared for human nature at first.

Never overestimate people as animals. No one is advanced in human nature, neither are you, nor am I.

The next question is, why didn't infidelity end in a larger foe, or even a second time?

Because for most people, cheating is not so much a moral issue as a cost issue. When the people eating melons chased Ma Yili and Xie Fangxing and shouted, "Why do you forgive love rat?" They may never think that what they ask for is a happy time, while what others decide is a long life.

If the star is not typical, then talk about the reality around you. How many people choose marriage out of love, and how many people seek stability. In the eyes of many people, especially women, the husband's physical and emotional infidelity is painful, but it may not be worth mentioning compared with her emotional efforts, material management and relationship maintenance in marriage. Perhaps the emotional rift will exist for life, but if you want to give up half your life, you can't do it.

I dare not say whether this judgment is correct. But this is indeed a real problem faced by many people who cheat. Morality is the nuclear deterrent of marriage. Seemingly powerful, in fact, everyone knows that it has not played a substantive role. The most important thing is interest bundling and cost consideration. This is not pure love, not pleasant to hear, but it is a pity that it is true.

Fairy tales are deceptive, and there are incomplete things behind the adult world. Not all defects can be solved with love.

So what should we do?

First of all, it must be that the person who enters the marriage has enough understanding of human nature, and is not anxious, disappointed or overly optimistic.

I wrote before: "Mature love tests how a person can find the right person and find the way to freedom in their running-in. As for marriage, it is to test how deep a connection can be established between two people who are not related by blood. " You should trust the person you choose, but you should also reduce the chances of testing the other person's humanity.

The second is to ensure independence and self-knowledge from beginning to end. I have no reservations about marriage, but I will not burn myself too much, I will not sacrifice myself for anyone, and I will understand each other on the premise of mutual respect. Ask yourself from time to time, is love and marriage still the same as before? If I encounter a problem, do I have the ability to solve it? Compared to "what? Cheating? How is it possible? " Blindly optimistic, or "God, I am so weak, will he have the final say?" Fear, these merciless self-questions at first glance, is more solid and stable.

Never try to escape cheating. But understand that this is part of human nature. However, there is only one requirement for us in human affairs: expect the best, but prepare for the worst.

It's interesting to see the world like this. WeChat official account: Fu Kick Kick WeChat ID:futeeetee.