Routine the other party's hilarious dialogue

First, the routine is funny. 1. Do you like cats or dogs? Do you like cats or dogs? 3. What do you want to drink in winter? I don't know how to protect you. 4. Will you like me? ""no ""then I'll teach you. "5. I think you are a little weird and cute today. 6. Can I ask you for something? 7. I want to be the right person. 8. I'm really sorry if the routine is up to you. I did it on purpose. 9. Do you know what my biggest weakness is? I don't know. I was thinking about you. 10. Please pay attention to your words. Why do you want to kiss it at any time? Why did you hurt me? I made you like you so much? 12. Where are you at home now? You are in my mind now. 13. Sister, do me a favor. 14, can you play the guitar? No, then why can you touch my heart? 15, do you think about seafood or barbecue first? 16, do you know what I like to eat? I like to look at you crazily. 17, do you have a girlfriend? No, well, now you have it. 18, do you want a dog? ""what dog? " Single kind 19, I still like you very much, it's unreasonable to hit you like your mother. 20. It's troublesome to like you. "But I just like to make trouble." Second, the routine of the other party's hilarious dialogue 1, lying in the dormitory, a roommate asked me where I was from, and I said Zhejiang. Then he said that there was another person with glasses in our dormitory who was also from Zhejiang, so I sat up and stared at him. 2. One day, my dad caught me bringing a female ticket home. He said, don't worry about my son, I won't tell my mother. Let's keep it a little secret between us. I said, thank you, dad. All right. The next morning, when the whole family was having dinner together, my mother asked me, where did the strawberry on your neck come from? I said: this is a little secret between my father and me. Then the atmosphere at home became a little strange. Today, someone asked me if I change my glasses every 60 days. I went back to the moon for a month. She said, but I didn't bring it at night. 4. I went shopping with my first love today and bumped into my wife. When I didn't know how to explain it, my wife said, what a coincidence to go shopping with your girlfriend. At this time, my first love leaned on me and said, yes, your husband is not with you. The wife said: My husband went to walk the dog. Mother went to mend a pair of trousers and asked me to help her get some change in her bag. As soon as I opened the bag, my mother asked how much change was left. I told you there was 2.50 dollars left. Don't come back at noon if you don't have enough money Just make some clothes for those aunts. 6. My little nephew was eating snacks in bed. I thought that when he said that his mother hadn't come in for a long time, he also grabbed a potato chip ... With the footsteps of slippers from far to near, my little nephew quickly put the food he had eaten beside me, got out of bed quickly and left me far away ... "Mom, my aunt was eating in bed ..." 7. I met a friend's family. Friend: "Nothing, his mobile phone was confiscated by the teacher last month …" 8. Dad is an old driver. I got my driver's license and asked him to practice with me. As a result, I went on the road several times, and he almost broke while sitting on the co-pilot handbrake, and his voice was smoking. Finally, dad simply slipped and lay in the back seat. I asked him why he didn't sit in the front. He said, "Girl, sitting in the front will cause a heart attack sooner or later. Now I'm out of sight, out of mind, and I'm more comfortable to go. " 9. Neighbor Lori is 3 years old. Recently, she received pneumonia infusion in the clinic. Unexpectedly, she didn't cry this morning. I was just about to say a few words of praise, but she burst into tears, crying and tooting: I forgot to cry today when I pricked the needle,, 10 years ago. One day, I dug up a' certificate of merit' and looked at it carefully. It turned out to be my parents' marriage certificate. I suddenly had a bad idea ... I found a copy company, made the same marriage certificate, and then changed my mother's name to another woman's name ... and then my home exploded. Routine the other party's hilarious dialogue 2 1, don't move! Read this message quietly! Look up, look down, don't forget the left and right! Have you finished reading it? Delete it after reading it! 2. What happened? Call the mobile phone, voice prompt: you dialed a lazy pig from other places, please dial the pigsty area code before dialing the number. I can't believe it. Call again. Voice prompt: the owner has been slaughtered. The most romantic thing I can think of is watching you get fat. Then I'll eat pork. Oh yeah! It is reasonable to hear that eating garlic can prevent swine flu. Think about it: if you eat garlic, people will think you stink and don't want to be near you, and the swine flu virus won't be around! Haha, don't forget to pack two cloves of garlic before you go out! Meeting you is the beginning of my heart, and falling in love with you is my happy choice; Pursuing you is the starting point of my happiness; Having you is my most precious wealth; Stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation! Unfortunately, I sent it to the wrong person! 6. Are your ears itchy? Does that mean I miss you and my eyes itch? Does this mean that I want to see you? Does your mouth itch? That means I want to kiss you. Does it itch? That means ... stop joking. You have lice. Take a bath! 7. I have three sentences to tell you, including the following one. Thank you for finishing. 8. "I miss those days. You wriggled in front of me and walked down the country road with your head down. When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: hey, beautiful and clean! Also praised me: What a good child, such a small grade came out to put pigs! " 9. This message has three main purposes: one is to contact feelings; The second is to pass the time; Third, I tell you responsibly: it's cold, remember not to wear open-backed pants again. "10, don't eat when you are hungry! I did it; Don't sleep when you are sleepy! I also did it; It's cold and naked, here we go again. I am such a strong person, but I didn't tell you when I missed you. Chatting classic deception routine 1, bragging: I think you are too narcissistic. To tell the truth, when you grow up like this, you will get the top three in the beauty contest at most. I find you a liar, because I look much better than in the photo. You must be nearsighted, right? \ \ Why do you say that \ \ If you are not nearsighted, why can't you see that I like you? He asked me what I was doing, and I said I was painting my eyebrows. He said, let me see, is thrush deep and fashionable? (The first half of this poem is "Ask my husband in a low voice after makeup") ... I melted at that time. On the way back with my boyfriend, he snorted a few times. I said, you look like a drug addict. He joked, "Look at me and I'll show you what drug abuse is." Then when I turned my head, he kissed me. 3 classic chat deception routines 1. This is my new windproof lighter. You can't blow it out Wind and fart. 2. Do you like getting rich? Yes, but I don't like it. Why? Because I like to hug you. I'll show you a magic trick to make you forget that you are a pig. I am not a dog. Listen, you forgot. Let me ask you a question. You just have to answer, okay? You are so stupid. Does your family know? No, yes, yes, no.5. "Would you like to be my sun?" "I do." "Then please keep 92955886 and 7 kilometers with me. "6. Are you my best friend? Yes, I just watched TV and said that dogs are man's best friends. What are you doing? I chatted with the most beautiful woman in the world and said that she was embarrassed, but she never answered me. I have to chat with you. 8. Is there a number greater than 1? Is there a number greater than 100? Yes, is there a number greater than 1000? Is there anyone more stupid than you? 9. Do you match the key of three yuan and ten yuan? What do you deserve? 10 How many pairs do you think boys are naughty? Baby, why am I your big tree 12? Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"? The answer is yes, you are a big pig, and vice versa. Chat classic paragraph 5 (1) The disciple asked the teacher, "Can you tell me something strange about human beings?" The teacher replied: "They are eager to grow up and then lament the lost childhood; "They exchange health for money and soon want to use money to restore health; They are anxious about the future, but ignore the happiness of the present. Therefore, they live neither in the present nor in the future. They live as if they would never die; It seems that he never lived before he died. " One day, the dog asked the wolf, do you have a house or a car? The wolf said no, and the dog asked, do you have any fruit for three meals a day? The wolf said no, did you have anyone to coax you to play and take you shopping? The wolf said no. The dog said contemptuously, you are so incompetent, why have nothing! The wolf smiled: I don't eat shit, I have the goal I pursue, I have the freedom you don't have, I am a lonely wolf, and you are just a happy dog! (3) When a drop of ink falls into a glass of clear water, the glass of water immediately changes color and cannot be drunk; A drop of ink melts in the sea, and the sea is still blue. Why? Because their stomachs are different. Immature ears of wheat stand upright, and mature ears of wheat hang their heads. Why? Because the weight of the two is different. Tolerance of others is magnanimity; Humility is weight; Together, it is a person's quality. (4) The old man said to his children, "Clench your fist and tell me what it feels like?" The child clenched his fist: "A little tired." Old man: "Try harder." Child: "I'm tired and a little breathless!" " "Old man:" Let it be. "When the child grows up, he says," It's much easier! "Old man:" When you feel tired, the tighter you hug, the more tired you are. Put it down and let it go. "What a simple truth, it is easy to let go. (5) When people are angry, their IQ is zero; People will be deformed if they are impatient; There is no trust between people, and it is useless to say anything; When people lose their direction, nothing is interesting to do; Of course, the most important thing for people is self-knowledge, self-awareness and self-improvement. Self-knowledge can foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, self-knowledge can be independent, and self-improvement can be indomitable.