Brief introduction to the content of joke encyclopedia

The joke encyclopedia refers to male and female jokes, family childlike interest, love jokes, style jokes, ancient and modern jokes, campus jokes, social interaction, celebrity humor, ancient Chinese jokes, funny videos, funny pictures, funny short messages, nonsense jokes, humorous teasing, nonsense jokes, military and political justice, religion and folk, hilarious masterpieces, dialect humor, funny cartoons and funny lyrics. * * * There are 26 categories, including 13 jokes, 3 funny articles, 3 anecdotes about hot spots on the Internet, 3 funny videos and pictures, 2 funny short messages and lyrics, and two channels of funny certificates and brain teasers. Turtle is also called tuanyu or turtle, commonly known as tortoise. Delicious and expensive. "Don't buy what you eat, don't eat what you buy" is really a high-grade gift, and public relations is ugly. A township sent several people to bring the turtles into the city to pay tribute. Because of their different weights, they must be allocated according to "posts". In order to avoid mistakes, the official number is written on paper and attached to the turtle's back. ..... It's getting late in front of the government cadres' residential buildings. Unexpectedly, the bamboo basket overturned, and the turtles scrambled for their lives in the twilight. The villagers exclaimed: "Director Zhao" has escaped! -the biggest one. Grab "Director Qian" quickly-be careful that it bites your hand. That dark corner, is it "section chief sun"? "Secretary Li" is small and climbs fast, even if she can't find it.

Late

In the subway, a man found a pickpocket reaching for his wallet and said humorously, "Dude, you're late! Although I got paid today, my wife started much faster than you! "

Love Letter

The young man wrote in a letter to his girlfriend: "I love you so much that I would go through fire and water for you. I will come if it doesn't rain on Saturday.

complaining unreasonably

two people have dinner together, and there are only two fish, one big and one small. One ate the big one first, and the other flew into a rage. How inappropriate! He complained. What's wrong? Asked another. You ate the big one, I wouldn't do it if I were you. What will happen to you? Of course I eat small food first. Well, what are you complaining about? Isn't that little fish still there?

keep it a secret for you

a: I'll tell you this only. Please keep it a secret for me. B: Don't worry. Not only will I keep your secret, but I will also tell everyone to keep your secret.

cleaning the glass

The father went into his son's room and praised him, well done, son! The window is clean and bright. Did you wipe it with soapy water?

son: no, dad, I used a hammer.

School begins

Primary school begins, and Dongdong, who just turned 6, refuses to go to school. Mom explained to Dongdong that children will go to school at the age of 6 until they are 15. Finally Dongdong finally sat down at his desk and asked with tears in his eyes: Will you remember to pick me up when I am 15 years old?

Teacher

When the bell rang, the teacher smiled and said to the class, "Students who are clamoring for school should not panic, and they will not delay the class. Please stop chatting with those who eat instant noodles. Tell the students playing poker in the back row to be quiet, so as not to affect the sleep of the students in the front row. Students who look at the scenery by the window, call the students who play basketball on the playground, so that I can arrange my homework. The students on the way remember to inform the students in the Internet cafe about today's homework. . . . . . )

Braised duck

One day, the husband took his wife shopping, and her wife took a fancy to a set of cosmetics, which was a little expensive up to 1, yuan. The husband said, "Don't buy it, I think it's best for you to face the sky!" " The wife asked unhappily, "Why?" The husband said, "I like to eat chicken with white paws." The wife reached out and slapped her husband in the face. The husband covered his red face and asked, "Why did you hit me?" The wife said flatly, "I love braised ducks."

It's embarrassing to buy a throwing gun

During the winter vacation, Xiao Ming was sent by his brother to buy a throwing gun (the kind that will ring when you fall lightly). Xiaoming bought a bag full of money and went home. When he got home, his brother asked him: Where's the gun? Have you bought it? Xiao Ming patted his pocket proudly: Everything was there ... and then he only heard "pa pa" several times. Tragedy happened-two brothers died together ... 3. Be sure to take friends with you when you go diving in the sea. If your oxygen is gone, your friends will help you. If there is something wrong with your equipment, he will also help you.

The most important thing is that if a shark suddenly appears, your chances of survival will increase by at least 5%. . .

4. The officers and men crowded around, jostling shoulder to shoulder, with few gaps.

The Great Xia sighed, "I wonder who can save the young master."

a man left the queue generously, put the child on a four-wheeled cart, and rushed into the enemy line with his two-handed cart. His pace was mysterious and his figure was erratic, and he only went through the line a few times.

The Great Xia was surprised and delighted. "Are you a descendant of the ever-changing gods?"

The man said, "No, I used to be a flight attendant selling snacks, lunch boxes, fruits and drinks on the train."

5. "They said that I must be defined in Arabic, English and Chinese."

"what do they call you?"

"2b youth."

On their wedding day, the bride told her husband affectionately, "Don't say anything about yours or mine in the future. Say ours. " The groom went into the bathroom to take a bath and didn't come out for a long time. The bride couldn't wait and asked, "Dear, what are you doing?" The groom replied, "honey, I'm shaving our beard."

6. A man walked into a bar, ordered a glass of wine with the bartender, and then ordered another. After drinking several glasses in a row, the bartender began to worry about the guest, so he asked him, "What happened?" The man explained, "I quarreled with my wife, and she said she wouldn't talk to me for a month!" " The bartender thought for a moment and said, "It's a good thing that she doesn't talk to you!" " The man replied, "Yes! Unfortunately, today is the last night! " 1. An old man flew for the first time. He slapped his hands on the window of the plane. The stewardess quickly stepped forward to stop him and asked, "What do you want?"

The old man said, "Why can't this window be opened? I want to spit! "

2. A couple came out of the canteen, each with a bottle of iced black tea.

Just as I was going to buy water to drink, the woman called out to the man: "Hey, what does it mean to have another bottle?"

Without looking back, the man said, "I don't know." So, the woman threw the bottle cap on the ground.

I saw this scene and thought I met two idiots.

when they were far away, I hurried to pick them up, blowing and looking at the sun. I saw the four big words: thank you for tasting ...

3. Today, two boys at school were fighting at the school gate, and they were in full swing, and no one dared to come forward and open them. After a while, I don't know whose mobile phone flew out, and after a while, I don't know whose money flew out.

At this moment, a buddy came up with a sentence: Great, explosive equipment and gold coins ...

4. The police officer was angry with his subordinates: "You four people can't catch a criminal, it's just useless.

sir, although we didn't bring the man back, we brought his fingerprints back.

"where is it?"

"on the face."

5. Someone looks for a doctor to treat insomnia. Doctor: "How long does it take to go to bed every night before you can sleep?"? How long can you sleep a day? " Patient: "I fall asleep as soon as I go to bed at night and sleep until dawn." Doctor: "How can this be regarded as insomnia?" Patient: "I mean I can't sleep at work during the day." Doctor: "What kind of industry do you work in and need to sleep during the day?" Patient: "Civil servant."

6. A bottle of coke is eight yuan. On the train, the passenger asked the flight attendant, "How much is a bottle of coke?" Flight attendant: "What's the size of a bottle?" Flight attendant: "It's the kind that sells three yuan outside."