Do you have any joke messages about pigs?

A man raised a pig and was annoyed by it, so he wanted to throw it away. However, the pig knew the way home, so he threw it away many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig in his car. That night he called his wife and asked, "Has the pig returned?" His wife said, "Yes." The man was very angry and yelled, "Hurry up and let him answer the phone. I'm lost." "You traveled to Xishuangbanna and were attacked by a group of wild boars. The tourists took out food and money, but the wild boars were unmoved. You took out your only ID card, and the pigs knelt down and cried bitterly: Brother, we have found you. ! A toad pursued a swan, and the swan said disdainfully, If I had grown up like you, I would have died long ago! The toad was not convinced and asked why the pig was still alive and well! The pig felt aggrieved after hearing this. I was just reading the post. Who did I offend? A young lawyer went to court for his first case. His client's 24 pigs were run over by railway cars. In order to emphasize the huge loss, he said excitedly: "Gentlemen, think about it, 24 pigs! 24 pigs! That's twice the number of our jury. One day three boys went to the food stall for supper, so the three boys Personally, I decided to order "pig brain soup", but because there were so many people in the store and it was noisy, the waitress shouted: "Pig brain!" Pig brain! Three pig brains..." The three boys responded in unison: "We, we...here, here, here! ! "The hunter met a wild boar in the mountains, and he fired a shot in a panic. The wild boar suddenly heard a "bang" gunshot and was startled. He thought he had been hit and fainted on the ground. Just in time. A vendor passed by and bought the wild boar from the hunter. He looked at it carefully and said to the hunter: "Why is there no bullet holes in this wild boar? Maybe it died by itself, and the meat must be stale!" "No, it's not old stuff!" "The two people were arguing. The wild boar woke up, got up, and ran away without the two people paying attention. The hunter pointed at the wild boar that ran away and said, "Take a good look, how fresh it is!" Zhang went up to the blackboard. It took a long time to solve a very simple question, so the classmate below shouted mockingly: "Pig, pig." Zhang turned around and said angrily: "Pigs are still smart. "You are already an adult. You should pay attention to your image. Don't be like before and drink less. Last night, someone saw you chasing a pig with a wine glass and yelled: Are you a brother? Yes, a brother. Let's do it! A bird and a pig were on the plane. The bird said to the stewardess, "Bring me a glass of water." The pig said, "Give me a glass of water." After a while, the bird said, "Give me some food." ", the pig followed the same example. The stewardess was unhappy and threw the two of them down. Then the bird said to the pig, "You are stupid, I can fly." You stood on the lotus leaf and danced lightly, and passers-by shouted before fainting. : "Zhu Li Ye". Did you eat enough today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I really want to stay by your side quietly. I know you never take care of yourself. Whenever I leave, Just jump out of the pig pen. Your life portrait: learn to take a bath by yourself at the age of ten - pig self-cleansing; shine at the age of twenty - pig Shimao; find a job at thirty - pig establishes a career; hire a servant at forty. People - pigs have to be servants; they learn to play basketball at the age of fifty - pigs shoot! I haven't received your text message for a long time. I wonder how you are now. I passed by your place a few days ago and went in to check on you. I saw you were asleep. , I can’t bear to wake you up. Hey, you are the only one in the litter of piglets! The toad pursued the swan, and the swan said disdainfully: If I had grown up like you, I would have died! The toad refused: The pig would still be alive and well! The pig felt aggrieved after hearing this: I was just reading the text message. Who did I offend? You seem to have lost weight recently. Can you tell me what happened? You know that pork on the market costs 8 yuan a pound now, and you lose a pound. I only lost eight yuan.

I have always had a soft spot for you, your face appears in front of my eyes all the time! But I was too poor to hope for it, but now I have money! You can say loudly: Boss, cut that pig head in half for me! How can I bear to watch you leave? We have spent so many warm and happy times together, but today we are breaking up! Looking at your sad eyes, I shouted: Wait a minute, I won’t sell this pig! Not selling it anymore. When I made up my mind and turned around to leave, your unstoppable crying and heart-rending pain behind me made me understand in an instant how much I love you! I turned around suddenly, cried, hugged you tightly and shouted: "I won't sell this pig any more." If you must compare you with a pig, I think there are at least two differences between you and it: 1. It Smarter than you. 2. You can eat it better than it can. Pig Raising Technology If autumn goes, I will wait for you in the snow; if the world goes, I will love you in heaven; if you go, I will miss you in tears; if I go, let her come Take care of you. PS: Her pig-raising skills are really good! Don't be crazy about me. Don't be crazy about me. My eldest brother Qin Shihuang, don't pretend to be like me. I am behind the Party Central Committee. If you don't believe me, you won't admit defeat. Bin Laden is my uncle. He bombed first and then poisoned you. See if you accept it. I will change your household registration to Zhuluozhu, I haven’t heard from you for a long time...I’ve been thinking about you these past two days, and I’m very confused...I’ve searched your favorite pond, the hut where you eat, and the lawn where you sleep, but there’s still no sign of you. My heart is almost broken. , how could such a big pig be lost? Looking for pigs? You travel to Xishuangbanna, Yunnan, and encounter a group of wild boars on the way. The tourists all take out food and money, but the wild boars are unmoved. You take out your only ID card. The group of pigs kneels down and says in pain: "Boss, we But I found you." Let's break off our relationship! Please forgive my selfishness. I know this will hurt your heart. Every moment we were together in the past will be engraved in my heart forever, but I really can’t live with you anymore because the city doesn’t allow foster care. pig. "Dark Thoughts on Bamboo" Dark thoughts on bamboo, dark thoughts on bamboo, dark thoughts on non-bamboo. At the end of the day, the flowers are warm, and the branches are painted in the pond. Hidden in the bamboo trees, a good pond lures you to your seat. Thinking secretly about bamboo, thinking secretly about bamboo, secretly thinking about non-bamboo! Congratulations on learning Shandong dialect...Happy April Fools' Day! Meteors There are meteors tonight. I heard they are from the constellation Pig, and there will be a pig flying across the sky. It’s a pity that I have to go to bed, and you will be fine. There are so many people watching you fly. There are six kinds of pigs in the world. There are six kinds of pigs in the world: domestic pigs are kept at home, wild pigs roam outside, dead pigs are called dead pigs in the market, stupid pigs read messages, shameless pigs are angry and want revenge. Stingy pig, if you don’t reply to messages, you are worse than a pig! Pigs are weird. I said: "You are a pig." You said: "I am pigs." From then on, I will call you "Pigs are weird." One day, you finally couldn't help it, and shouted to me loudly in front of everyone: "I am not a 'weird pig'." Pig's Ideal Pig's Ideal: Fences are falling down, feed is falling from the sky, and the world is The butcher jumps into the river, people all over the world believe in Islam, pigs go to school from an early age, people and pigs vote as equals, the pig people all say it is a wonderful idea, and the pig is laughing while watching. The price of pork is rising. It’s all my fault that I neglected you before! So from now on, I will treat you well. I will rub your back when you are tired, accompany you to relieve your boredom when you are bored, give you medicine and injections when you are sick, and gain weight for you when you are thin. Why? Who makes pork prices rise? Pork Stewed Vermicelli You are over 20, there are some things you should know! The sky is used to make wind and rain; the earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove how great human beings are; and what about you? It is also used to stew vermicelli. Draw a pig and write your name on the paper. Capitalize the letter M on the first character, write E on the left, and write W below. Write W below the last name and Q on the right. Use an arc to connect each Connect the letters. Is it fun? Pig: Not every flower can represent love, but roses do it; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar does it; not every pig can read short messages, but you do it. Longevity Heart Sutra The latest discovery of the Longevity Heart Sutra by Bodhidharma of Shaolin Temple, which can be read aloud once a day, can prolong life. The content is as follows: Lying down like a bird's heart rock, lying down as if one's body is running through ice, lying down as if one is hundreds of feet tall, lying down like an old wooden bamboo! Be sure to read it out loud! Price Check That day I saw you wandering around in a supermarket. You put your hand into the price check machine, and the result showed: Pig's trotters, 8 yuan.

You thought there was something wrong with the machine and stuck your head in. I almost died laughing when I saw it. It read: Pig head, 18 yuan. I am about to say goodbye to you. Seeing the innocence written all over your face, my heart is broken. Why did I choose so deeply, but then give up in a hurry? I really want to keep you by my side forever, but Mom said "Pigs are not allowed to be raised in the city". Congratulations on getting the camera function of your mobile phone. Please point your face at the phone and press the down button to take a picture. If the picture is successful, please see the photo gt;)". ."(lt; ( (..) ) You are so beautiful! I have always wanted you. Your face, lips, and ears appear in front of me all the time, but I am very poor and cannot afford you. Now that I am rich, I can say loudly: "Boss, then Cut the pig in half for me!" I used to be just an ordinary knight, until I met you, the most mysterious person in the world, and accidentally called your name. From then on, I became a "knowledgeable person" respected by everyone in the world. "Pig Man". The tortoise and the hare are racing, and the pig is the referee. Do you think the tortoise runs faster or the hare runs faster?