A joke to tease a girlfriend.

1, it is often rainy and windy in spring, which wakes up the leeks and onions in the garden. A tearful, frightened and lonely dream. Lazy enough to get drunk with two bottles of sand, shallots enjoy spring. I hate poverty because it is inflation.

The mouse said to the cat: I love you! The cat said, go away! The mouse went away crying. No one saw the cat shed a tear after the mouse left. In fact, there is a love called giving up!

3, my daughter is eighteen years old, and she is not a grandmother selling melons to brag. She is really as beautiful as flowers and beautiful as jade, with a first-class figure, just like sinking fish and falling geese, picking flowers from the stone, always caring about it, just wanting to have a good family!

4. Emancipate your mind and dress in fashion; Life should be harmonious and work should be comfortable; Husband should be strong and children should be beautiful; Be reserved when you go out and be loud when you go home.

5, snoring thunder bugs, sound like ears; Great things and small things are happy, and everything is concerned; Peace of mind, happy every day; Sunny, rainy, rainy, happy every day!

6, ants marry centipedes, others ask how the bridal chamber night is? Ant: I'm exhausted! Last night, I parted my legs, but I didn't; Spread your legs again, not yet! I was kicking all night!

7. A woman pees outside the window and pees on a person's head. Pedestrians shouted "Scarface, you can't run away"! Women are busy putting on pants. Pedestrians are also called "I know you in a mask".

8. The ant is lying lazily in the soil, stretching out a leg, and a friend asks you why. Ant: Then the elephant came and tripped him.

9, Confucius said: hit with bricks, hit by face, should not be chaotic; No more, no more, no more; If you die, you don't have to forget it; No, the deceased was a hero!

10, different time, different place, different people, only you and me are the same; Time is changing, space is changing, and the only constant is my infinite yearning for you!

1 1. The businessman complained to the lawyer: My son got the maid pregnant. Lawyer: Isn't your son only five years old? Businessman: Little bastard poked holes in my condom with a needle because he had nothing to play with.

12, a cynical student wrote a famous saying on the blackboard of philosophy department: God is dead-Nietzsche. It wasn't long before someone followed: Nietzsche is dead-God.

13, love at first sight, goodbye infatuation. Take pains to win people's hearts all day. I took great pains to urge my heart. Don't you understand my heart!

14, a leader said: children are flowers of the motherland and growing saplings. But what will happen in the future if people continue to live beyond life? A person in the audience replied: Greening the motherland.

15, Dad: Son, you are four years old. I want to send you to kindergarten full-time care. Son: No way. Dad: Why? Son: I am shy. Besides, if I take it off completely, it's easy to catch a cold.

16, to tell you a secret, please look at the back first, then at the left, then at the right. Ok, please don't look around with your mobile phone!

17, study hard and make progress every day. Within three years, the key for you not to date is that you look ugly, but you have no other advantages except ugliness!

18, a: I didn't sleep well last night! B: Why? I killed a mosquito! But who knows that a large group of mosquitoes came to hold a memorial service for it, and then they even ate their meals!

19, dear husband, remember: if the husband doesn't send flowers to his wife on Valentine's Day after marriage, the wife will put a handful of dishes in the vase at home.

20. The society is too complicated now. I have asked Ping An to be your bodyguard, health as a shield, good luck as an assistant, happiness as a partner, success as a backup and success as a striker. Don't worry!