What are the 2 super funny short jokes?

1. Friar Sand joined the Buddhist scriptures brigade, and the Tang Priest told him: Be sure to listen to your brother. ? Got it. ? Soon the Monkey King said to Friar Sand. Brother Sha, didn't you hear me call you Brother Sha? Friar Sand killed Bai Longma.

2. Two women, one beautiful and one ugly, went out late at night and met a gangster on the way. The gangster let the ugly one go and raped the beautiful one. Ask, is it the beauty's pain or the ugly one?

3. Kaifeng organized a barbecue. Zhan Zhao: I'll take care of the meat. Gongsun Ce: I'll take the barbecue. Dynasty: I'll take the dip. Bao Zheng asked cheerfully: What does this house include? Gongsun Ce way:? Black charcoal, of course. ?

4. My husband went to Shanghai on business and sent a short message to his wife before boarding the plane: I boarded the plane. The second-rate daughter-in-law replied: Long live my emperor, long live my emperor.

5. Drinking yogurt often breaks the straw and you can't poke it in? Here's a trick: take out the straw calmly, and it's best to play with it in your hand for a while. Don't look at the yogurt with your eyes, pretend as if nothing has happened, and then poke it fiercely while it's not paying attention!

6. After the school holiday, Bao Zheng closed the case, the Tang Priest returned to the Tang Dynasty, the new one became smaller again, the queen was in the cold palace, and the swallow got married. It's all over. What do you want us to do this summer vacation?

7. After breaking up, I don't expect anything. I just hope that every woman in your future is not as good as one.

8. A boy from a poor family came back from school and asked his father what it was. Dream? What is it? Reality? . Dad thought for a moment and said, son, you know the rich man in our village. He has a crush on your mother and your sister. He said that as long as they sleep with him, he will give them one million each. In other words, we may become millionaires tomorrow? This is a dream, but what is the reality? The reality is that we are living with two bitches.

9. A female colleague of mine is really an acting school: a few colleagues got together one day and took them to a restaurant where I often eat with my wife. The boss greeted me and naturally asked, didn't my wife bring it today? I was just about to answer, when my female colleague struck the table and shouted, I am his wife! Ask the boss hysterically, who is the woman you are talking about? Grab my collar and roar like Qiong Yao's play. Who is it? Who the hell is it! ! The boss silently withdrew from the private room, and the female colleague proudly said that she was waiting for the discount. When checking out, the boss said, Brother, this meal is on me today. Please explain it to your wife.

1. I just saw a lovely father and daughter in the park. My father is about fifty years old and my daughter is about twenty years old. My daughter is very clever and peeled a tea egg for my father, and then she said something to make him laugh. What a warm picture. This is the real family life, but? Then why did they start french kiss?

11. The Tiger King and the Lion King were drinking in a bar, but after drinking, they cried bitterly. Then the fox waiter came over and asked: Why are the two big brothers so sad? The lion king patted the fox and pointed to the tiger king and said, There is a tigress in his family and a Hedong lion in mine. Brother, how do you live this life? Hearing this, the fox immediately said with tears and grievances. Two big brothers, that fox in my family is not worried! ?

12. Beijing: Dad, I got 53, which is 53 points higher than a score line! ? My son is really promising, and he will travel to Shanghai! ? Shandong: Dad, I'm 53, 2 points behind the second line? What a loser! Stop it and go to work in Shanghai! ? Shanghai:? Dad, I'm 33. Send me abroad to study business administration and come back to help me. How many migrant workers have been recruited from Shandong this year? .

13. I really hope that one day when I was walking on the road, I met a real estate developer who fell down, and then I helped him up. He smiled and gave me a real estate license and left. I shouted, boss, your room book! Then the boss turned his head and said to me with a smile. No, it's your room book ?

14、? Wukong, listen to me. Wujing has been acting strangely recently. I said a few more words to him, and he walked away without saying a word, and then lay down in the trough of the little white dragon. ? Brother Sha is not good at words. He should be expressing his dissatisfaction with you by actions. ? What do you mean, lying in the trough? ?

15. The girls in petticoats are all wicked. The reason why a skirt is sexy is that it may run out. We looked at the short skirt, crazy in love, and a gust of wind filled our brains. What is a petticoat? It takes advantage of short skirts, but refuses to pay a little bit of possibility, just like holding a lottery contest that has already taken out the first lottery ticket, which is a fool. People who wear culottes should not be intimate, there is something wrong with their quality.

16. Last night, I dreamed that a fairy came to me and asked me what my dream was. I replied: I hope that mankind will live in peace forever, and there will be no more deception and dishonesty between people. Fairy answer: no problem, I'll let you keep dreaming.

17、? Doctor, I feel very stressed sometimes. ? When do you usually cook? ? Oh, what's your name? ? Pressure cooker ?

18.? Queen! Did you ask Mammy Rong to harm the Little Swallow and Ziwei? Advice when least heeded! Don't you trust male and female servants? The emperor shook his sleeves and said, Mammy, answer ? The queen charming way:? Your majesty, what?

19. Little Dandelion cried and asked Dad:? Dad, dad, why should I fall in love with the same sex? Dad patted the little dandelion on the shoulder and said with tears: Because there is no Pu Muying in the world! 2, a person spent 1 million, bought a famous calligraphy and painting to send to the leader. The leader saw it and said, is it fake? The man said, how can it be fake? The leader said: this kind of painting is 1 yuan in the market. The painter is in a hurry. The leader went on to say: although this painting is fake, I like it very much. Tell you what, I can't ask for it for nothing. I'll give it to you, 1 yuan. I'll buy it for you! Later, what the messenger asked for was done, and the leader said frankly: I never accept benefits.