Are there any interesting messages?

1. It's been a long time since I received your message. I feel very distressed. I thought of death. I cut the pulse with potato chips. I was hit on the head by tofu. I jumped from a building with a parachute and hanged myself with noodles. You can invite me to dinner and die.

If you feel cold, please call me! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, 2 to talk about work, 3 to talk about life, 5 to introduce someone to me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me.

3. The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day and want to hug you." The pot said, "You're so stubborn when you're fucking ripe.

You have grown up, there are some things you should know: the sky is used for wind and rain; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; You are used to stew vermicelli.

Don't worry if you don't bring paper when you are by the railway. The train will remind you: pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe! Don't worry, when you go to the toilet by the river and there is no paper, the frog will tell you: scratch, scratch, scratch!

6. God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you! What can I do? I miss you so much that I can't eat chopsticks or swallow bowls!

7. If I am in charge of horses, you can call me a groom. If I am in charge of the car, you can call me a coachman. If I am in charge of accounting, what should you call me?

8. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Step on it and pay the price.

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