Messages to comfort and care for my wife

Tell your wife a joke, your lovely wife will definitely like it, hehehe.

When I went to the toilet today, the bottom of the company’s toilet door was about 10cm above the ground. After squatting down for a while, I saw someone reaching in and giving me a paper. I took it out of curiosity. When I was about to leave, I heard someone calling from next door: Why hasn’t the paper been delivered? My legs are numb from squatting... …Did I do something wrong?

Brother: "Everything you do has to be drafted first, do you understand?" Younger brother: "So mom gave birth to you first!"

I went to the hospital yesterday to see a doctor and saw the door There is a sign on the wall saying "No entry for non-undergraduate students." I'm so damn depressed. I have to take the undergraduate diploma exam even if I'm sick...

Event: The teacher asked me to hand out test papers. I held a dozen papers from the podium and prepared to hand them out. "Hand them out when you see someone!" You just met someone! Your whole family is seeing people! Stop posting!

Talking about a good-for-nothing female classmate, not long ago, she found a diary belonging to her mother at home. She opened it and saw that the first page was the day she was born, with only eight characters on it. : "It's extremely ugly and extremely disappointing" she...

A female colleague's surname is "Xie". This morning, a male colleague greeted the woman: "Good morning, Lao Xie". The woman had a huge reaction and shouted angrily: "Give me the word 'old'!!!". The male colleague changed his words: "Good morning, thank you." After being muted for a second, the laughter burst out!

One day in class, the teacher was talking endlessly, but it was very boring. Many people secretly fell asleep. I was just about to fall asleep when the teacher suddenly said excitedly, "When you go to college, your father will give it to you." Did I buy two train tickets? Will I get a hard seat in the classroom and a soft sleeper when I go back to the dormitory?

Maybe you are dissatisfied with the current situation and feel that you are fat, ugly, frustrated, poor, stupid, weak...but please believe that everything will be fine. Gradually, you will feel that you are so fat, so ugly, so frustrated, so poor, so stupid, so shabby...

lz is from a rural area, and there is a girl from the next village who works outside and loves to pretend. Show off your high-end living standard in QQ space! ! Look, here it comes again: a five-star hotel is nothing more than that! ! The service is so bad! ! lz decisively commented below: There is a shortage of water everywhere in the house now, and the rice seedlings are almost drying up. Today I saw your dad pumping water from the fields by the river! ! ! ! !

The day before yesterday, he was slapped 100 times in the mouth, and he was very angry, but he did not dare to speak out; the next day, he was slapped 80 times, and he said that he saw the hope of life; the third day, he was slapped 50 times. He praised the person who slapped him for being progressive; on the fourth day, he was slapped 30 times, and he knelt down and was moved; on the fifth day, he was slapped 20 times, and he was grateful; on the sixth and seventh days. .., he was used to being slapped when he was moved

At night, I was happily playing darts and drinking and hanging out in the bar. At this time, one of my buddies ran in and asked me: "Hey, Why aren't you at home with your beautiful and plump wife at this time?" I asked, "Then why aren't you?" He said, "Because I didn't know you would be here!"

I always hear ads saying: What should I do if I get pregnant unexpectedly? But I still can’t figure out how pregnancy could be an accident? Seek advice from experts.

Finally I know what the letters in the second row of the keyboard mean - I cried after falling in love with the other person! ! ! . . . . . . Do you know what your first row and third row mean? ~

Work overtime late at night. Suddenly, my eyes felt as heavy as iron, and my head felt as if it were filled with lead. Looking at the computer screen felt like an illusion; the sequence on the keyboard seemed to be a book from heaven. I hate not having a couch, so I lie down with my clothes on. For a moment, someone seemed to be calling me. Who is it? When I heard it, I only heard: I have examined myself three times in a day... I woke up suddenly and unconsciously said to myself: Are you tall? Are you rich? Are you handsome? Neither tall nor rich. , If you are not handsome, how can you feel tired? Why complain about it? How tired can you lament? Wuhu, we losers are so sad. . . . Then I went to the place of reincarnation, took the water of reincarnation, soaked my tired face, cleared my sleepy eyes, then returned to my desk and worked silently.

My girlfriend sent me a message early in the morning saying that she could not spend May Day with me because she had a fever.

When asked why, she told me that she fell asleep in front of the refrigerator with the door open last night! If you think this is GC, you are wrong! GC Yes, she got up looking for something to eat because she was hungry in the middle of the night, and ended up falling asleep in the refrigerator. When her family found her, she still had half a piece of bread in her mouth! How hungry and tired do you have to be to be so sharp? !

Dragon Boat Festival is a long holiday, and we have to rely on "7-day shifts" to summon us. The 2013 Dragon Boat Festival holiday arrangements have been released, and we have to work for 7 consecutive days before the holiday! There will be a holiday from June 10th to 12th (Monday to Wednesday), ***3 days. Work on June 8th (Saturday) and June 9th (Sunday). At this moment, I suddenly felt very familiar. It was another rhythm of 7 days on → 3 days off → 2 days on → 2 days off... I feel like I have frequent urination. I suggest that the General Office of the State Council take more care and eat more foods rich in plant organic active alkalis. Eat less meat and more vegetables.

Reference material: /article/29522.html, I wish you a happy life!