Looking for Degang Guo's crosstalk lines from Yu Qian.

It seems that Degang Guo's version can't be found on the Internet. If there is, it's definitely hard to find, at least I haven't found it yet!

Learning radio

Cao Yunjin, Liu Yuntian.

Cao: Thank you for your applause. I'm really glad to attend today's performance.

Liu: Right.

Cao: But I'm also nervous.

Liu: Oh!

Cao: Why? All the people sitting under the stage are experts, so this kind of performance is not easy to perform.

Liu: Yes.

Cao: In face-to-face communication with the audience, you can even see several boils on my face.

Liu: It's so real.

Cao: It is so clear. In our jargon, ask the ground to pick bread and catch thieves on the other side.

Liu: Take the thief across the street (together).

Cao: Oh, so can you!

Liu: Of course!

Cao: How difficult it is to lead a thief across the street! Besides, our program is different. Others are like songs. A famous singer Pavarotti stood up and sang a song. Ah … for better or worse, he bowed off the stage and rode home by bike.

Liu: Big shots pedal bicycles.

Cao: In our cross talk, two living people stood here and chatted for twenty minutes. If one of them is unhappy, how to lick his face?

Liu: Yes.

Cao; We are willing to go to the TV station to do a program, where someone is applauding.

Liu: Right.

Cao: The corners (chicken feet) are all squatting, under the table and above the chandelier. This one is squatting in the cracks in the wall.

Liu: This one is thinner than you.

Cao: It's all hidden. When the two crosstalk performers left the stage, someone reached out and applauded.

Liu: The applause thundered.

Cao: Two crosstalk performers got on this stage. Today, wow,

Liu: Applause

Cao: Wow, the two of us,

Liu: Applause

Cao: Tell us a few words. If it's not good, everyone will applaud.

Liu: Look.

Cao: Look how nice it is today. No one applauded. Do you see it? This is called popularity.

Liu: Ah, this is shameless.

Cao: I want to do a TV program. It's good.

Liu: Right.

Cao: Speaking of this radio station, it has a long history.

Liu: Really?

Cao: At that time, there was no TV, no radio, and radio was everywhere. If you want to start a radio station, just like doing a small business, it's all personal. For example, artists talk about cross talk at this time, sing drums at this time, and sing opera at this time. Mainly advertising.

Liu: Yes.

Cao: It's a mess. What about you? Listening to Le Er and enjoying the excitement are very interesting.

Liu: Hey, Mr. Cao stopped you. How's this? How about you learn from the old radio station here?

Cao: Learn from the old radio station. Well, I'll work hard today. Well, I'm a radio now. See my ears? FM button, (then your eyes) indicator light, (mouth) stereo, (nose) insert as.

Liu: Not at all.

Cao: Then I'll start broadcasting now. Note: The last bell you heard last year was at 3: 60 Beijing time.

Liu: Do you mean that four o'clock is terrible?

Cao: Now it's the Beijing Crosstalk Conference broadcast by Deyun Society.

Liu: OK.

Cao: Dangdang.

Liu: It's three o'clock.

Cao; while

Liu: live, how can I return it?

Cao: The last bell you heard just now was 3: 60 Beijing time.

Liu: Do you mean that four o'clock is terrible?

Cao: 998 1000 weeks, 785 16 meters.

Liu: Two arithmetic problems.

Cao: The broadcast time of this station is from 0 to 24 o'clock.

Liu: Even the shaft rotates.

Cao: I hope you can listen on time.

Liu: I can't stand it.

Cao: First of all, please enjoy the singer of Taiping's lyrics "Striving for the Mussels"-Lotus Girl.

Liu: Hehe, this paragraph is good.

Cao: "Action" (filming An Shangxiu) Yesterday, it was cloudy and the water was cold, except for water. The clams bask on the beach and the osprey falls. The eagle licked its wings and closed its feathers. The meat of the clam was unbearable. A fisherman flapped his wings and came to the south. A fisherman came to the shore, but he said he was happy. He said he was really happy. The osprey traded wine for money, and the osprey fell. These sad tears are called clams. Yes. Why don't you go to the sea with your hand, I go to the mountain, you go to the sea to drink Tianshui, and I go to the mountain to be happy and safe. This is why snipes and mussels compete for the benefit of fishermen. It's easier for you to stretch your head than to shrink back.

Liu: OK, it's delicious.

Cao: Please enjoy the advertising program: ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen.

Liu: Broken mouth.

Cao: Do you know what is the most bitter thing in the world? It is the most painful time for children to have no milk. There is no milk for the children at home. Please use the beater brand prolactin and the beater brand prolactin. If the woman's wet nurse eats it, she can come out of lactagogue on the same day. (Netherlands) lactagogue is like tap water. You can eat, drink and wash it (alive). Note: it is invalid for the elderly.

Liu: Isn't this nonsense?

Cao: It's time to enjoy Pingju. Today, we specially arranged a speech for you, which was brought by Xiao Bai Rishuang, a Pingju performance artist (she didn't sing the speech). Then she sings (then let's listen). She sang the Zizyphus jujuba aria from the modern pingju "On the Jinsha River" (good). Zizyphus jujube is round, Fuyun Spring is pure natural ... Oh, sorry, the actor sang wrong. Please enjoy the traditional Peking Opera "The Matchmaker". Performer Xun Huisheng (Xunpai Matchmaker, this is good), (Blow) (Live broadcast, I haven't heard it for several days): Tell me to hide under the chessboard, I won't do it step by step, you are not afraid, but you are not afraid to enlarge it, but you have to swallow your fear and follow the little matchmaker (your voice is gone) (what does this mean?

Liu: Hey, let's listen to something else (pretending to twist Cao's ear)

Cao: Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen.

Liu: Here we go again.

Cao: You just listened to the first program. Here is the second program. Please distinguish the difference between the first and second programs (what's the difference? ) The first set has no eggs, and the second set has eggs (pancakes). It's advertising time: ladies and gentlemen, it's summer. Why don't you buy a leather hat to wear on such a hot day? (Good) Liu, a grain store outside Qianmen, received a batch of otter fur hats worth 450,000 yuan. Don't buy if you have no money (this is not nonsense). Please enjoy an old recording of Laoting Drum below. The performer is Laoting Drum Performance Artist Yu Tangchun.

Liu: OK.

Cao: Daming, Jiangshan and Jacob, it's a peaceful spring, and I'm sitting here. There is a wise gentleman, Huang En () opened the examination room, Yu Bi () Wang Hanlin, who won the first prize in (), and Du Yuan () made this basket in the north and south of Shaanxi ().

Liu: I didn't catch a word. What is this?

Cao: Sorry, everyone. I was a little frustrated just now (okay). It's time for the audience to order literary programs.

Liu: The program time requested by the audience.

Cao: It was strongly requested by the actors of Deyun Society and at the Beijing Crosstalk Conference (the program was requested by both of us). What they want is a cross talk between Cao Yunjin and Liu Yihe.

Liu: A pair of shameless people. Do you want to order your own program? Introduce the artistic characteristics of the two actors: Cao Yunjin (that is, he) is a rising star in phonology, with glib tongue, generous performance, natural and unrestrained manners, fierce figure and very strong body. (That's it) is a rare cross talk actor, Liu Yi, (it's my turn) can be called a mixed voice in the field of phonology, and his performance is disgusting. Humans (don't hesitate) have a high flat head, short eyebrows, small eyes, big mouth and upturned nostrils. What's it like? The oval face (not bad) is long (finished, I dare not look). This man is stupid. Three days ago, unfortunately, he boarded a train bound for the South Pole. He left wearing only underwear. If he finds a body, please inform this station immediately. Thank you!

Liu: I'm looking for you. Come on, let's listen to something else!

Cao: It's time to enjoy local operas. We have arranged for you to sing Hu by Guangdong Cantonese opera (good) actors, and Hu is right.

Liu: The name is similar.

Cao: * * Sangse Bano * * Sangse Bano Jinlai * * * Sangse Bano * * Funeral biu Bo biu Bo Cantonese Opera has been broadcast.

Liu: What a mess?

Cao: Next, we interrupt the weather forecast. (I need to hear it. I'm sorry I didn't see the weather today. I will report it tomorrow. Tomorrow's wind direction 1, level 2, the wind direction is north and south. The lowest temperature will be 38 degrees below zero and the highest temperature will be 56 degrees above zero.

Liu: It's been a busy day.

Cao: Please listen to the pantomime next.

Liu: How can you listen to pantomime? Alas, change the channel!

Cao: Bow on the stage. Don't talk too much. Let's sing a song "Song Wu Da Hu" for you on the castanets. (Good): Don't talk too much. In the next book, we will talk about the details. (End) Gao Yuanjun stepped down and bowed. (Just sang one sentence)

Liu: Let's listen to something else!

Cao: I was just resting.

Liu: I'm resting.

Cao: Open the door (Peking Opera) Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

Liu: Stop it!

Cao: My heart is burning. winter Shit.

Liu: It's over again.

Cao: Give me fifty cents, give me fifty cents, and I'll give it to you for free. Fuck you!

Liu: Well, it took me half a day to catch up with my tail.

Cao: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to today's Unspeakable Program (let's listen together). In this programme, we specially invited Miss Angela Yu Chien, the chief physician of Beijing World Maternity Hospital, to answer questions about how to prevent gynecological diseases and a series of gynecological problems. Our listeners can tell us what you want to know through SMS platform or telephone. Ok, let the director answer the first caller (let's listen). Du (on the phone) Hello, is that me (a friend from Tianjin)? It's me, it's you, it's you. You can talk now. It's me. I'm talking Everyone can hear you, everyone can hear you. Tell me, my brother. I'm telling you, I'm a crosstalk performer. My name is Liu Yi (me). What is wrong with me? Recently, I just found that my urine is not smooth. Do you think there is something wrong with my prostate? Sorry, sir, our gynecological program.

Liu: Am I stupid? Me, stop clapping. Let's change the channel!

Cao: pull ............................................................................................................................................................................

Liu: Still this one. Let's change the channel!

Cao: Ladies and gentlemen, we are now broadcasting live at the Capital Workers Stadium. World heavyweight championship (sports program) was played by California heavyweight champion mike tyson against crosstalk actor Cao Yunjin. Don't die? ) First of all, under the guidance of the referee, heavyweight champion mike tyson entered the venue with the melodious and majestic March of the athletes ... (Tai Sen is doing exercises) Tai Sen walked into the venue and there was a noise in the venue. Beautiful women from all over the world made an amazing roar (yeah). I love you in Tai Sen, I love you in Tai Sen, and I love you in Tai Sen (and the Northeast). Then,

Liu: I knew it was this.

Cao: The athletes of both sides have stood in the boxing ring, and the smell of gunpowder is full. Oh, the referee is ready to start the first round. Well, the first round has already started. Mr. Cao is very clever. He dashed forward and a very powerful left hook hit the opponent's right face. (Good) Hey, the other party seems to be unresponsive. This is not good. (what's wrong), jump (spray blood),

Liu: I said dead.

Cao:? ##%#……￥—￥—@^$%*^((&； ) * _ @ Mike (somebody else won) # #)-@ @ Liu: Let's listen to something else.

Cao: In this program, we have received many letters from young friends, reflecting that there are too many traditional programs in our program, and we hope to add some popular songs. (Yes) In this programme, we specially arranged a "dang" with powertrain for you. (Ok) Please cooperate, pick up the fan and hit yourself on the head. Did you hear that? (Yes) The request is over.

Liu: Just to hit me.

Cao: OK, in this programme, we will introduce the practice of braised pork. (Catering procedure) First, cut the meat into pieces, cut the onion into pieces, cut the ginger into pieces, pick up the child, lift the left leg, pour the oil into the pot, hold the child on his chest, lift the right leg, burn the oil to 80% heat, and throw the child into the pot. Sorry, string table.

Liu: I don't learn.