Humorous short message

■ Going to other people's homes to go to the toilet has four major flaws: there is no paper after pulling; Finished, there is no water; After pulling, there is still water not rushing down; It's over, it's over. The water has washed down, but it has come up again.

■ I feel that my IQ is quite high, I feel very humorous, and I feel very attractive. Test results: quite shameless!

■ When smiling, the wolf hangs himself; As soon as you sigh, the cat runs away; When you scream, chickens fly and dogs jump; Your station stinks; When sweating, lice suffer; You are uglier than a ghost if you don't dress up; You frighten the ghost into paralysis without dressing up.

■ Four things will come to the meeting: the leader speaks and takes the lead in applauding. Lead the singer and tune up. The leader took a bath and scratched his back. The leader picks up the girls and stands guard.

■ Three main points of the meeting: First, speak directly to subordinates and say "I emphasize several points"; Second, after the peer-to-peer speech, you should speak and say "I'll add a few more points"; Third, the superior leader said that you must speak, saying, "My experience has several points."

■ A recruit always lags behind in getting up and is scolded. When buying dyes, he looked like a beige dress. The bugle sounded in the middle of the night, and he was the first to re-enter the barracks. The chief praised him: very good! But next time, pay attention to the Grenade hanging in the back.

■ I dreamed of you yesterday. Really, the sky is so quiet, the sun is so bright, and the sea is so boundless. You were on the blue beach, and I stabbed you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard, his shell is quite hard.

■ On behalf of the State Map Committee, the Address Office, the Geographical Names Division, the Association for the Exchange of Straits, and the Committee for the Promotion of Cross-Strait Trade, I would like to strongly protest to you: Why didn't Taiwan Province Province appear on the map of China left by you after wetting the bed last night? Make up today! ! !

■ One day, driving on the road, I saw a car stuck in front of me: novice, old pure! Then I wrote in the back seat of the car: killer, old heartless!

■ There is an ugly gorilla in the zoo. When tourists see it, they don't spit. The first day, I went to see it, and I threw up. The next day, when you went to see it, I wondered why the gap between people was so big!

■ I am really desperate: Guo Hua has been developed into a tourist area by the state, and Master married Bai a few days ago. I had no money to eat yesterday, so I sold my golden hoop. I really miss the days when we studied classics together! Second brother, how are you?

■ Busy life is easy to kill people's enthusiasm and they are not interested in anything, so we should stop occasionally and seriously think about whether to pee with a far-sighted attitude.

■ Two frogs fell in love and got married and gave birth to a clam. Seeing this, the male frog was furious and said, bitch, what's the matter? The mother frog cried and said, Dad, I had plastic surgery before I met you.

■ Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, while cows eat concentrated feed? The old donkey sighed, we can't compete with men. We eat by running errands, and others eat by breasts!

■ Ducks and crabs ran to the finish line together, and it was a close call. The referee said: You can have scissors, stones and cloth. Duck is furious: Shit, are you calculating me? When I make cloth, he always uses scissors.

■ The old turtle molested the mussel and was bitten. The old turtle dragged the mussels back and forth reluctantly. The frog saw it and said with admiration, dear, Brother Tortoise has grown up and has a briefcase in and out.

■ Bees chase butterflies, and butterflies marry snails. The bee doesn't understand: where is he better than me? Butterfly replied: people at least have their own house, unlike you who live in a dormitory.

Origin: http://www.laifu.org/wangwen/6304.htm.