A boring joke.

1. Because I don't like cleaning my room, they all call me a chaotic hero.

2. Status quo: wages can't go up, weight can't go down, and you can't afford to get hurt.

From now on, apply for two deduction papers for future children, and then they can show off their deduction results with their friends.

4. House is in a very unstable state. As long as there is a power failure, it will degenerate into a caveman.

Actually, I didn't grow tall on purpose, because I was afraid of growing too tall.

6. All gold glows, and I am a diamond.

7. If it can be avoided, please give me a pair of skates to make me run faster.

8. Don't tell me to grow old together. I want to have black hair forever.

9. Bitch is ruthless but interprets human joys and sorrows. The players sang people's joys and sorrows meaningless.

10. My life is up to me. Can't help ruining me every day.

1 1. Looking at your face, I feel that your parents were not serious when they made you.

12. Don't call me arrogant. I just don't deal with animals.

13. The average boy will tend to the average girl.

14. Don't mention it when you come to this world. Do whatever you want at once, except die.

15. I really want to strangle myself now!

16. Women are in trouble, but men like to ask for trouble.

17. I don't do what I regret, I only do what you regret.

18. What happened to reality?

19. Now students dress like chickens, but students dress like chickens.

20. Wife is a big tree, don't hug it. Lovers are birds. Do not feed them.

Appreciation of nonsense jokes

1. How many children were hurt by exams and how many honest children learned to cheat.

What is a mistress? At best, he is just one person.

With the reform and opening up, my weight rubs on the ground.

When I was a child, my deskmate asked me what monsters were like. I took a mirror and told him to look inside for two seconds, and then he cried.

5. A woman is easy to mix, but a sister-in-law is not easy to mix, that is, a bitch. Look at the past, it's all goods, sister. Who do you want to live with?

6. A person's messy footsteps on a noisy road tell my loneliness.

7. Advertising is to tell others that money can be spent in this way.

8. Eat whatever you want and lose weight. You can't have both.

9. Stupidity depends mainly on whether you can play dumb.

10. The earth is used to dig a hole and bury you.

1 1. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

12. finally, I got up the courage to send her a short message to express my confession. Three minutes later, the head teacher called: This is no joke, son.

13. Not in reality, but there are many children.

14. You look like you're invited to scold me.

15. I don't want to run three, but it's not enough!

16. That period of compulsory education occupied my youth.

17. Sliding society is complicated in the dark.

18. It is said that bitter gourd is not sweet, so my brother likes to eat bitter gourd.

19. I'm stupid and I'm happy. I am very healthy.

20. Life turned out to be an out-of-print movie that could not be replayed.

A series of boring jokes.

1. People's peach blossom luck and physiological cycle are the same! It's been a while!

2. I am an onion standing on the road. Whoever touches my soy sauce will scold my ancestors.

Your appearance has affected my healthy growth. I saw you. The mood is more tangled than going to the grave.

Behind the scenery, there are either vicissitudes or filth.

You dare to die, I dare to bury it.

6. All the questions in the world can be answered with nothing to do with you and me. Suddenly I feel so busy.

7. Men are always strong and women are confused.

8. Stop pretending to be a ghost. Don't play games. Don't pretend to be innocent.

9. Don't spill all the dirty water on yourself when you do something wrong. I have to save it to flush the toilet.

10. If I can forgive your vulgarity, can you forgive my affectation?

Funny and boring jokes

Funny nonsense jokes (hot articles) 1. I'm hungry in class. Tell my roommate that I'll go back and make two bags of instant noodles. Do you think I ate too much of this product and some people made it with Banlangen? Why do you use milk? Oh, my God! What ears are these! It's not the same as when we laugh for a long time!

Some time ago, China's good voice was auditioned again. I have a friend who sings very well. I asked him, why don't you try? He said: My whole family is still alive. What do you mean I don't understand? He explained: Look at the current talent show. They are all sympathetic. Either my parents died or my sister and brother had an accident. At worst, they are good friends. Come to think of it, really!

Xiao Li has just become an intern. On weekends, he takes time to go home. His grandparents asked him how his work was. Xiao Li said sadly, it's almost the same as when he was at home. He is someone else's grandson.

4. I woke up at noon today and saw a brother leave a message on WeChat when I took my mobile phone: Don't get drunk in the future, brother. Last night, you chased a dog with a glass in the street and shouted, is it your brother? If it's a brother, do it!

Grandma took a taxi. At the destination, the meter showed 8 yuan and only gave it to 3 yuan when getting off the bus. Driver: Grandpa, why do you only give 3 yuan? Grandma: When I got on the bus, the meter already showed 5 yuan. Give as much as you want!

6. An 80-year-old lady in the yard always lamented that the children are so happy now. Why would anyone look after your child? Lock the house during the day, go out to work, and count when you come back at night. If you can't find them in the light, you will find a stick under the bed. When you are soft, you can rest assured that you will sleep. I woke up and came out.

7. My husband's only hobby is watching football games. My wife and husband watched it together today. Husband said: You are not qualified to watch the ball with me. My wife said: I have made up my knowledge of football, and now it is in the goal. Husband said: I am depressed when you explain the game to me. The wife said: I was afraid that you would be smelly and excited, so I smashed my TV to relieve my anger, not watching the ball, but watching you.

8. I made an appointment with a female net friend. When I arrived at the appointed place, I saw her exactly like in the photo. She is a female college student. Then I'll say hello. She looked at me blankly and said to me, uncle, you need money to grow like this.

9. When the radio was still very popular a few years ago, one day my grandmother asked me what time it was reported on the radio just now. I said, eight o'clock. Grandma said, oh, it's past eight. I said, didn't I say eight o'clock? Why is it past eight o'clock? Grandma said, didn't it report at eight o'clock Beijing time? Report here no later than eight o'clock.

10. Recently, there was a video of Land Rover hitting Jaguar. Land Rover crashes and leaves safely. I heard the truth is like this! Xiamen Land Rover told Jaguar owners to move their cars, but Jaguar didn't come for more than an hour. Finally, I was told on the phone that I was so slow, so wait slowly and bump out if you can. Then this sentence was recorded by the Land Rover owner, and the recording was taken to the police for the record. He was knocked down in front of the police and drove away!

Funny nonsense jokes (classic)

1. I just went to the store to buy things, and my wallet was put in the storage bag behind the seat back, and I took it out without looking. Can you think of a handsome guy with a wallet and sanitary napkins stuck to it? I also called the proprietress to give me money. They are all acquaintances. How can there be cracks, old face, where to put it? The key is that many female compatriots are here!

2. Just taking the elevator, a beautiful woman came up with a rope. I stared at the end of the rope for a long time, but there was nothing. The beauty looked at me and shouted, Oh, my God! Where is my dog!

A friend of mine is going to play in the grassland. As an Inner Mongolian, I explained some basic safety knowledge to her. For example, if she meets a wolf alone, don't turn around and run. Humans can never compete with wolves. The correct way is to stay where you are, make direct contact with the wolf's eyes, stare at it, don't move, and persist for as long as you can, so that you can die with dignity.

4. Once my buddy and I waited for the red light in the car. I don't know where this guy took out an apple and rubbed it on his clothes (the kind of repeated rubbing is particularly fierce), so I asked him what you were doing. The goods said: I want you to take care of it, and I plan to stuff it in your ass in the future. After saying this, I froze for a few seconds. The goods took a bite of the apple, and I heard him mutter: Shit, it's not appropriate.

5. I happened to pass by a couple and suddenly heard the woman say, pig head, what do you want to do in your next life? As a result, the man replied, I want you to be my Youlemei, and I will insert a tube for you every day.

6. My friend is going to propose. Let's surprise him with KTV. We can play with balloons and put candles, and we work hard. After a while, my friend came up with his girlfriend and asked the waiter where A32 was. That fellow excitedly asked, propose, haha, my friend fell to the ground at that time!

7. Today, I invited my sisters to drink at night. In the morning, my mother said to me: Look at you, a girl is a family, don't always drink so much. I said: no way. I can drink well. Mom said: yes, anything your father wants will do. Haha, my dad was shot while lying down.

8. When I was in technical secondary school, my roommates were very poor, so I decided to take turns to buy Dabao. It's a buddy's turn to buy. He took a bottle of something else to wipe his face. The shell is so worn that he can't see clearly. He used it all, and it smells good. I didn't know it was cucumber facial cleanser until I found the same bottle in another dormitory a few days later. Dad, we're running out.

9. I sent a message to my dad that he was lovelorn. The next day, he called me and invited me to dinner. I asked him: Who are you? Dad hesitated for a moment and said, just the two of us. I don't want your mother. You are just lovelorn. I brought my wife to love you. This is not good! It's really dad.

10. At the class reunion, I propose to play a game. The rules of the game are two people. One person says a word, and the other person says it backwards. If you make a mistake, you will be punished for drinking! When it was my turn, the female classmate next to me said two words: fuck.

Funny nonsense jokes (selected articles)

1. Yesterday, I watched TV. I was so excited when I was holding the remote control that I hit my foot and bounced to the ground, but it still made a lot of noise. My mother looked at me with a distressed face, and I was moved for a moment. All I heard was my mother asking if our floor was good.

A young man who just left the army was robbed by two robbers in the middle of the night. The robbers swore at him and asked him to hand over the money. After all, the young man just left the army, and he roared: Hey, he immediately punched three sets of military fists and was stabbed more than 30 times.

3. Watch the sports platform, the women's volleyball classic, and China vs. Japanese. Every time Japan wins, these Japanese girls are shouting. I am envious of the male compatriots at the scene. All right, turn up the volume.

Last weekend, I was playing games in the Internet cafe, and my mobile phone suddenly rang, and my friend's earnest words came from my ear. People in their twenties only know how to play games all day. No wonder I can't find a girlfriend. Can I make a difference? Me: Speak human words. He: Three are short of one.

Yesterday at noon, I talked to my colleagues about the house price, and I also said: Now the house price is so expensive, if I have a piece of land, it will really be developed! He said: If you have a piece of land, I will recognize you as michel platini at once! Just after reading it, the little girl at the front desk called me: XX~ You have a courier! Later, my adopted son refused to talk to me all afternoon.

6. I went home at 30 1 today, and the bus was very crowded. I saw a girl reach into her bag pitifully. On impulse, I went to hug my sister, patted her bag and said, wife, it's almost the stop. Then I blinked at her and saw that I was stunned for two seconds. She said to the man, honey, I will go! Couple, I got off before I got to the station.

7. A couple were walking on the road when a man jumped out and robbed them. The couple took out all their money and said not to hurt them. The man smiled and said, I want to rob them. The man stood bravely in front of the woman: what is coming towards me! Don't hurt her! The man paused for a second, then slowly said indignantly, I'm talking about you!

8. A patriotic youth found a magic lamp at the seaside, wiped it, and a lamp god came out and said, OK! I can help you realize a wish. The patriotic youth thought for a moment and said: My greatest wish is to see the prosperity of the motherland. The genie said: This is too simple. While speaking, the golden light flashed and the time jumped to 19: 00. At the same time, the magic lamp became a TV set.

9. Q: What would you do if Xifeng was in a coma in bed? Help her eat a big meal. Q: What would you do if Lin Chi-ling was in a coma in bed? A: Yes, yes!

10. A year ago, my buddy and I were chasing the goddess at the same time. That dude is more handsome than me. To drag him into the water, I taught him to play LOL. A year later, he became a king and I became a goddess.

Funny jokes when bored, the most nonsense funny stories in space, complete works.

1. Do you think you will watch you die? I close my eyes. 2. Not afraid of opponents like gods, but afraid of teammates like pigs.

3. I want to use my homework Korosensei! Don't say that. Sounds like you can move it.

A Lamborghini just passed me and splashed me all over. At that time, I swore that when I got rich, I would buy a raincoat of my own.

There are no inseparable couples, only mistresses who don't work hard.

6. I planted a girlfriend in spring and harvested a bunch of men in autumn.

7. Why did I cry instead of hitting you?

8. I like to fall asleep like a dead pig every day, and I will feel particularly satisfied when I wake up.

9. Without us students with poor grades, how can we set off students' grades?

10. I don't remember how to pronounce cucumber English.

1 1. Second, she is a no three no four beauty.

12. A woman stared at me with a mop in one hand and a child in the other.

13. The saddest thing is not that you gave birth to me and died, but that the bus came and I was still crossing the road. When I arrived, it was gone.

14. Now I think it's a waste of resources not to go out the next day after washing.

15. Blame me me for being too young to see if I am a human or a dog.

16. I have heard the most absurd sentence in history. His sophomore uncle is a woman! ! Ha ha laugh

17. It's a bit crowded to go to work by bus today. As soon as I got on the bus, I heard a woman calling your mother's feet, and everyone on the bus was shocked. . .

Listen before you speak; Think twice before you act; Earn first and then spend; Try it before you quit.

19. Don't tell ghost stories at night, because people love to listen and ghosts love to listen.

20. Busy, have something to say, don't worry about the whole thing.

2 1. I'll write your name on the sole and stomp a few feet every day when I'm free.

22. The highest state of being a woman-Gao Fushuai, the highest state of being a man-can also be set in Gao Fushuai.

23. It is true that a man must be free, and even if a woman is kind to him, she is tired of him.

24. Today is Tanabata, and it is romantic that couples get wet in the street.

25. I want to study hard every time, and then I kneel under the pomegranate skirt of my computer phone!

I am not a bone. I can't let every dog run after me.

27. Never believe what the lyrics say. They can write anything that rhymes!

28. You can see why there is famine in Africa.

29. Ignoring me makes me too late to dodge.

30. In the countryside, chickens call people in the morning, and in the city, people call chickens at night!

3 1. Today is Valentine's Day. Walking in the street, being single is king, and being single is the key.

32. The subscriber you dialed has not installed QQ. ......

33. I hate the sleek one-on-one hit, the vegetable bag is vegetarian, and the skin fades. Three in a cage, seven.

34. I tried to turn the salted fish over during the exam. Damn it, I didn't expect it to stick.

35. I want to be a female hooligan in thought, a good girl in life, a tender girl in appearance and a transformer in psychology!

36. Everyone has an indestructible line of defense in his heart.

37. What are you unhappy about? Say it and make everyone happy!

38. People who are too rational will definitely miss the opportunity to go astray and miss the beautiful scenery along the way brought by mistakes.

39. If you don't take medicine when you are sick, aren't you sick?

40. The boss was holding a bowl and was in tears.

4 1. Fall, get up and cry.

42. The boss won't go to work unless he calls. Hello! Service is closed today, please call again tomorrow!

Ridiculous quotations

1, don't talk to me about feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money. 2. First-class, second-class, third-class and third-class success.

3. Why do you sleep for a long time before you die, and you will sleep after you die?

4, family affairs, state affairs, no money to eat is a big deal!

I want to sing about life, but I can't keep my voice.

6. Lonely women use their hands, while plump women use their mouths.

7. Go your own way and let others shout come on!

8. Newborn calves are not face to face, but have seen the world turned upside down.

9, milk is not necessarily a mother, money must be a grandfather!

10, don't just mix from the bottom, it's bad.

1 1, we are both stupid, I am playing dumb, and you are really stupid.

12, you thought it was easy to walk, but it actually flew down.

13, I don't swear, because I have strong hands-on ability.

14 brother, I'll throw a brick first. Throw the jade if you have it.

15, handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

16, the road is bumpy, give a shout and go on.

17, the mine disaster continues in the review, and the price increase is under control!

18, on a pale piece of manuscript paper, your mind is coughing.

19, people either go bad in debauchery or pervert in silence.

20, freezing three feet is not a cold day, and the three layers of the lower abdomen are not a cold day.

2 1. If it's wrong to have money, I'd rather make the same mistake again.

22. You are my Olay, but the trash can is your destination.

The secret of keeping a secret is to give it to others.

24, loneliness is a person's carnival, carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

25, people who pretend are not necessarily black, and people with black bellies will definitely pretend.

26. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix kindergartens!

27, life is alive, live, and the rest are floating clouds.

28. In my retirement days, I turned hardships into calcium and salt!

29. This is the era of the speed of light, not only food, but also emotion.

30. The ex-girlfriend seems to be her own, and the post-girlfriend seems to be adopted.

3 1, celebrities say that ordinary people live tasteless; Mortals think celebrities live too tired.

32. The eyes are black and the heart is red. Red eyes, black heart!

My wallet is like an onion. I burst into tears every time I opened it.

34. I like to toss, but I can't play with others.

35. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

36. Growing up, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to study.

To see the sun, although it is brilliant, it's a pity that I can't see it, because I like to sleep late.

When I was a child, my family was poor and I couldn't afford a bicycle. I had to take a taxi to school.

39. There are two ways to pollute a place: use garbage or use money!

40. Gao Fushuai, do you still remember the diaosi by Daming Lake that summer?

4 1, travel is from one's own boring place to another's boring place.

42. Some people are destined to wait for others, while others are destined to be waited for.

43. Primary school students are teams; Middle school students are piles; College students are a couple.

44. My ideal is simple: to have the body of Monkey and live the life of Bajie!

45, fart, they said it was love. I heard it and smelled it, but no one saw it.

46. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

47. I am convinced that a person will come to this world because of my torture.

48. I feel uncomfortable when I drink water. When I feel sick, I have a stomachache. I drink water when I have a stomachache.

49. I have never cheated you, because I have never had the need to cheat you.

50. I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

5 1, steamed bread is valuable, steamed buns are more expensive. If you have ribs, you can throw them both.

52. Life is like a green spider, crawling forward slowly, but shedding bright red blood.

53. I think it is a kind of hooliganism for girls to say that they are cold when they are lonely!

54. What is happiness? Happiness is that you eat fish, I eat meat and watch others chew bones.

55. So you know Kung Fu, that's all. Use the trick quickly, it's not high enough to reach.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall.

57. People are tired because they can't put down their shelves, tear off their faces and untie their complex.

If all the good things in the world were free, I might become diligent. .

59. The working age is getting earlier and younger, the diploma is getting higher and higher, and the qualifications are getting older.

60. Childhood is an ideal, youth is a dream, middle age is a delusion and old age is a memory.

6 1, the true meaning of meanness is not to be reluctant to spend your own money, but to spend other people's money.

62. Drinking is basically based on delivery, smoking is basically based on supply, wages are basically unchanged, and wives are basically not used.

63. The secret of finding a job: age is a fortune; Diploma is essential; Relationship is the most important; Reference ability.

64. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.

65, god wants to make people perish, must first make it crazy; God wants people to be crazy. He wants them to buy a house first.

66. Even if happiness only reveals a thread, she has the ability to pull it out and knit it into a sweater.

67. Entanglement is an adventure that jumps between winning greater favor and a slap in the face that resounds through the sky.

68. What is sex? Making love is a bad sleep; What is an official? Being an official means not being a good person.

Old people don't really have to worry about young people catching up from behind. They all ran in the other direction.

70. Life is a movie, pain is a beginning, struggle is a process, and death is an end.

7 1. Where did you fall? Where did you get up? The same place fell again. I suspect there is a pit there.

72. Some girls are the same as the house price. Only when you look back, do you know that it was wrong not to start.

73. People love beauty, pigs love to sleep, and mandarin ducks are in pairs. Habits in the world are hard to break, so let nature take its course and leave no regrets.

74. Love without pain is not true love, and marriage without happiness must be a sad marriage.

75. Many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but love that can be buried underground is better than a corpse in the street.

76. Before going to bed, I will say that your love motivation is not pure; If you propose love now, you will say that your motivation for going to bed is not pure.

77. When the wife is angry, the man has to hide; When a wife is fat, men slip; As soon as the wife is rich, the man will step down.

It is said that people have only two choices: get busy dying or get busy living. I think I have a third option: I'm busy waiting for death.

79. My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. My mother said: I can have this, and I said: I really don't have this.

80. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

8 1, four dishes and one soup, depending on the recipe: first-class delicacies and seafood turtle soup, second-class chicken, duck, fish and three-season soup, third-class cabbage, radish and tofu soup.

82. What should be abandoned is helplessness, and what should not be abandoned is incompetence; Ignorance should give up if you don't give up, and persistence should not give up if you don't give up.

83. Twenty-year-old men lack people and love; Thirty men become bad when they have money; Forty men pay a high price to find foreigners; Fifty men do housework and buy food!

84. People fish, you don't fish, and your wife says you are a straw bag; People gamble, you don't gamble, and secretly say that you are 250; People do it, you don't do it, and everyone talks about you.

85, single is a kind of spring, full of hope; It was the hot summer sunshine, full of enthusiasm; Autumn leaves, freedom; It snows in winter, so romantic.

86. I'm tired of wearing clothes for one day and taking a bus for one day-I'm tired of my wife using it for one day and my relatives changing for another. What's wrong with the world?

87. Remember on business trip: don't be too tired, don't look haggard, don't get drunk when eating, don't buy expensive gifts, don't be heartbroken when spending money, and stand back when you see mm!

88. May all lovers get married. Cheaters will continue to be happy. Ruthless people are always lonely. Two-hearted people will boldly take poison. Fickle people will meet unhappy people!

89. One person is a bank, and the whole family is busy; A person doing insurance, the whole family is shameless; One person plays the stock market, and the whole family jumps together; Playing computer alone makes the whole family brainless.

90. Say that money is a sin and everyone is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

9 1, bus congestion is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo and balance beam. It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with people who try their best to get you to end it.