Is love really important, Zhihu?

I remember the modern and contemporary teachers once said that love in this era has deteriorated, unlike the love they pursued in the 1980s, such as writing poems, riding bicycles, discussing a favorite book together, and chopping hands ... That kind of pure love has no material requirements, only you and me, only us ... In his view, some girls now prefer to cry in a BMW rather than laugh behind a bicycle. However, this statement seems a bit biased. Some girls still believe in pure love and think that without love, their lives will be boring.

But what I want to say is, when we value love so much, have we ever thought that love itself exists? In fact, this is an objective and subjective problem in itself.

I think someone on Zhihu's answer has some truth: subjectively, love exists. When you still believe in love, you will interpret your relationship with him/her as love.

Objectively speaking, love also exists. If we call the thrill of adrenaline surge caused by hormone explosion love, then when you fall in love with the person in your heart at first sight, when you have intimate relationship with your lover, love happens.

For some women, influenced by TV media such as Korean dramas, Taiwanese dramas and online novels, they are convinced of the existence of love. Even fantasize about waiting for Prince Charming to appear every day. Love has become a cultural symbol.

For some boys, love is a prelude to marriage and family. Due to the influence of physiology and culture, love plays a very small role in men's sexual life, and talking is better than nothing. This sounds a little cruel. When the physiological needs of both men and women need to put on the gorgeous coat of morality, love comes into being.

Love can exist or not. Let's just define it as one of the temporary happy feelings between people. It is not a life-saving straw, nor a bitter medicine, but more like a mental anesthetic given to impetuous people in modern society.

He is not so noble as described by literati and artists, nor so vulgar as described by doctors and biologists. It's not worth pursuing all our lives, and it's not worth trying to discredit. Love may exist objectively, or it may be abstract nothingness.

So, in fact, the word love is a bit unsolvable. Besides, even if it does exist, it's not that important.

A friend of mine was chatting with me the other day and said, "What should I do? I really fell in love with someone. Although I know he doesn't seem to like me very much, I still like him very much and miss him from time to time. I can't stand it … "I said at that time," You are just too idle. There are many things to do in this world besides illusory love. It can only be an ornament, not all of us ... "

In my opinion, there are many more girls who believe in love than boys, and they think love is very important. For these girls, maybe they just want to find a shoulder to lean on when they are tired, and a pat on my head when they can't carry it down and say, "Never mind, I'm here!" " Dear child, look for that sense of security. But what about boys? When you are attracted to a boy with such a mentality, the other person thinks more about sex. I dare not say that this is the idea of all boys, but there are always boys like this, and there are not a few. After all, many boys are animals with lower body thinking.

Therefore, when girls are looking for love, they meet boys who don't pursue pure love, which will make the word love a bit false and make girls feel uncomfortable and incredible. "He doesn't like me? Why can't he understand my heart? Shouldn't he do this at this time ... "And so on, girls will be very troubled and feel that love should not be like this. This is wrong, because you are pursuing perfect love, while the other person is pursuing sexual things. It is inevitable to be chilling, but this is the case! Have you thought about it?

Family blood is thicker than water, and true friendship lasts forever. What about love? What a big illusion! When you hit a wall everywhere and claim that you are trying to find love, why not call your parents more and go home more? They are the people in the world who really care about you.

Of course, I didn't mean to denigrate love, but it's hard to find after all. Sometimes there must be something in life, and there is no need to force it in life. The most important thing for girls in the new era is to live their best, constantly surpass themselves, and let all the joys and sorrows come from themselves, not from a boy. And realize real economic independence and spiritual freedom, which is the most important thing!